Hunter Pence has the manic energy of a gangly man-bird.  On average, Hunter Pence’s home run trots last about 20 seconds.  So in the last week, he’s run for about minute and twenty seconds while the rest of the world has watched, thinking, “I wonder if he was raised by a pack of pink flamingos.”  One time during a trip to the zoo, Hunter Pence got separated from his human family for two hours.  He was eventually found in the aviary section of the zoo chewing popcorn and spitting it into a baby bird’s mouth.  Those two hours were wiped from all zoo surveillance cameras so it was never accounted for, but anyone who has seen the gangly man-bird run probably can figure out that Hunter Pence was trying to reproduce with an ostrich or some other tall bird.  This week he shedded more than feathers.  He lost the OCD tissue boxes he’s worn on his feet most of the season and went power crazy:  6 homers in the last week with two coming on Sunday.  Hunter Pence said thank you to his H2H owners for believing in this half-bird creature.  For next year, I think he’s bound to disappoint as his speed evaporates and goes back to where it was prior to this season (the 10-12-steal range), but for now enjoy a bird/guy who was an afterthought in drafts and has turned into a top five outfielder, according to our Player Rater.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Paul Goldschmidt – 4-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 32nd homer.  Au Shizz!

Matt Davidson – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 1st career homer, which ties him with 128,298 other players.  Here’s what I said previously about him, “Here’s what Prospect Scott said, “Davidson’s power is legit, as evidenced by the .208 ISO he posted at Double-A last year.  The 21-year-old projects to hit 25+ homers annually, but an aggressive approach will likely keep the AVG down.  Still, he looks like an above-average 3B, and he’s not too far off.  Or as Grey would say, ‘I’m a big dummy.’”  What?  Why would I say that?  The natural inclination to think about when you see a Diamondbacks 3rd base prospect come up with big-time power and a weak average is to compare him to Mark Reynolds.  But why such a tendency?  What does that say about you?  Psychoanalysis for another day.  Reynolds had speed, Davidson doesn’t.  He’s more in the mold of Pedro Alvarez until he can prove he won’t hit .240 and strikeout 27%+ of the time.  I like Davidson a lot in NL-Only leagues, and deep mixed ones for upside, but he needs to get hot first before adding him in most mixed leagues.” And that’s me quoting me quoting Scott quoting me in a Möbius strip of quoting!  Davidson did get two hits the last two days while starting, so deeper leagues should take notice.  Could be the start of something.

Adam Eaton – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI and 1 steal.  I’m so crazy about this guy you could say I’m eating out of Eaton’s palm, which is hella confusing when said out loud.  Yes, I still say hella, deal with it!

Randall Delgado – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Terrific, fantastic, hollow adjective!  He goes to Coors next:  terrible, awful, hollow adjective!

Josh Reddick – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer and 2nd in his last three games, though that dates back to Thursday.  Though, Part II:  Thoughs Are Getting Old, Yoenis Cespedes is headed for an MRI on his shoulder.  Well, not headed, but feeted for an MRI.  That’s usually the direction one goes.  There should be more news on Cespedes’s injury on Monday.  Hopefully he has an A-1 day.

Jarrod Parker – Was supposed to pitch on Sunday, but Tommy Milone filled in valiantly (5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks).  Parker should be fine; he was just sick, vomiting.  Sounds like he’d make a good Phillie fan.

Josh Donaldson – 1-for-2 and his 23rd homer.  This was his 4th homer in the last ten games as he got hot again to end the season.  He’s definitely proved me wrong with his power.  I’m not sure of what to make of him for next year yet, but I’m building a wall between myself and most 3rd basemen that will be taken in the first 75 overall, so I doubt I end up with him.  Arenado will almost definitely be my Todd Frazier for 2014.  Hmm, I should work on comparing him to someone else.

Corey Luebke – Shut down for the season.  Back date that news to March.

Will Venable – 3-for-5, 1 run and his 20th steal.  He’s cooled off recently, but when the Padres are away their players play for fantasy.  <–Almost pithy!

Tommy Medica – 1-for-4 and his 2nd homer in his first 5 games.  The Italian Hospital showed some power in the minor leagues.  I’d prefer a guy trying to play hard for a job next year than a bloated All-Star who is coasting to the end of the regular season.

Burch Smith – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.  In attendance was a whole section of Smith’s fans dressed up in bear costumes to be Burch’s Root Bears.  I’d hold off on getting your own Burch’s Root Bear costume because he’s not this good and for fear that someone confuses you with a Pedo Bear.

Tom Koehler – 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks vs. Dillon Gee (7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks).  The Major League Baseball Players Association was on hand to tape the Mets vs. MIA Marlins game to use as evidential proof next time a hitter is accused of PEDs.

Alex Gordon – 2-for-4 and his 20th homer, a solo shot from the leadoff spot, which translates to his 30th homer and 120th RBI from the cleanup spot while the Royals clinch a playoff spot.

Alex Avila – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and 2 home runs (10, 11), hitting near .400 over the last week.  You say hot schmotato, I say hot schmotato, let’s call the whole thing on.

Max Scherzer – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 12 Ks.  I feel like a ten-year-old Grey when my mustache was simply a Sharpie-drawn on ‘stache, but I really want Scherzer to win the Cy Young.

Jerome Williams – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks and the win.  It was against the Asstros so we shouldn’t start reaching around on each other, but I’m pretty sure I told about 30 people to stream Williams on Sunday.  You’re welcome.  The Stream-o-Nator and I agree that he should be streamed again for his next start.

Wil Myers – 2-for-2, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer.  Deuces are wild!  Not “Douches Are Wild,” which is the reality show brothers-in-law, Scott Disick and Kanye are shopping around.

Josmil Pinto – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer.  Josmil is no Wilson Ramos, but he is batting .405 and I did highlight him in Friday’s Buy.  Pinto is keeping his schmotato fairly hot.  Go with the hand of Grey.

Jean Segura – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs after getting 3 steals in the two previous games.  Segura has cooled off since his crazy 1st half; I’m sure it didn’t help that he’s playing surrounded by Scootz Gennett and Scott by Halston.

Todd Frazier – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer.  This week, like most weeks for Frazier this season, hasn’t been that remarkable.  He does have back-to-back two hit games and the aforementioned home run, so maybe the Hitter-Tron is onto something liking him a bit today vs. the Asstros.

Matt Carson – 3-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 1st home run.  Answer:  Career minor leaguer.  Question:  Why Matt Carson filled his suitcase with complimentary hotel soap?

Nick Swisher – 2-for-5 and two solo home runs (19, 20).  He hit those homers on a day his dad and his sideburns were in the crowd.

Zach McAllister – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks.  He gets the Astros next time out and, of course, it’s another streaming opportunity.  BTW, I think a commenter said recently that some ‘pert at some other site said September is a bad time to stream.  I think that’s about as bollocks as you get.  September is the best time to stream.  Minor leaguers are getting a chance, good teams are resting regulars and you know exactly how good or bad each team is.  This week I streamed all over the place and had 90 IP in the RCL with 2.30 ERA and 1.02 WHIP.  Yup.

Chris Sale – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER, 12 baserunners, 7 Ks.  I don’t own him anywhere, so I love the fact that his ERA went over 3.  Give me any discount I can get next year on Sale.  Pun point!

Domonic Brown – 1-for-4, 1 run as he returned to the starting lineup.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see him sit a few times a week and be about as valuable as, say, Nick Swisher for the last two weeks.  I loved owning Brown this year, but I’m not rushing to pick him back up.  This time a year is about who’s hot now and not who was hot 3 months ago.

Wilson Ramos – 4-for-4, 2 runs, 5 RBIs and his 15th homer.  Guys and four girl readers, he’s done that in 68 games.  Zoinks!  Even if he only had 120 games this year…Well, you can do the rudimentary misleading math by just doubling his stats.  It’s not like he’s Arencibia’ing up his stats either.  Ramos is hitting .286 on the year.  Like everyone who avoids riding in death traps, Ramos is benefiting from losing his Suzuki sidekick.

Denard Span – 2-for-5, 1 RBI.  Here’s a hint for you:  look at which NL team has scored the most runs in September and try to own every guy on that team, especially the guy at the top of that lineup.

Miguel Gonzalez – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks but was pulled from the game because of his groin.  If he were dressed like a pizza delivery man, it could’ve been the start of a porno.

Adam Lind – 2-for-3 and his 21st home run, as he hits .280.  His season has really been all over the place.  From crazy hot to ice cold.  He has 4 homers in the last eight games, so there’s hotness coming out again that I’d get in on if I needed power.

Daniel Nava – 4-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI.  Sonavabench!  Damn, these one late games kill ya for streaming hitters, ya know?  I didn’t want to risk getting a DNP so I put Nava on the bench for some other schmohawk.  Oh well, luckily, I’m kicking major ass in the RCL and it shouldn’t matter.  Where ya at, Rudy?

Clay Buchholz – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, lowering his ERA to 1.51 and upping his record to 11-0.  Good move by him sitting out those three middle months when he would’ve had a 5+ ERA and went 1-8.

Matt Kemp – Could be activated for Monday.  If he goes 35/35 in the final 12 days, he could salvage his season.

Shelby Miller – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 1 K.  It’s amazing the Cardinals can tie their own shoelaces wearing the kid gloves they’re using for Miller.  Last year, he threw 150 IP; so far he has 161 IP in 2013.  That means he’ll finish this season just barely with a couple more five inning starts.

Matt Adams – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer and 3rd in the last five games.  This stretch of games for Adams has been his most successful since a week in March during MTV’s Spring Break when he ran the table at Carlos and Charlie’s and took home five straight wet t-shirt contests.  If you don’t know if you should pick up Adams, you haven’t been reading the site for the last week.  Shame on you.  For good measure, our fantasy football main man, Sky, made him this week’s Creeper.

Yadier Molina – 4-for-5, 3 runs and his 12th homer.  Strained metaphor alert!  Molina tracked down hits yesterday like his brothers track down buffets in their off-off-Broadway, loosely based on Hunger Games musical, Hungry Games.

 

 
  1. Alex says:
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    Boom!!!

  2. Giant Gigantes says:
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    In my semi finals matchup going into last nights game, Im up 6-4 and only winning by 1 RBI. He has an empty slot at catcher presumably to pick one up for the game. Is it “bush league” of me to beat him to it and pick up Salty and C Stewart or is that just being a smart GM?! Anyway, my buddy was/is pissssed at me for it!

    • wtp says:
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      @Giant Gigantes:

      Not at all. Crafty move. Did your boy want you to choose which one he should play too? Maybe bench one of your guys so he could catchup?!

      If you won I would send him a dozen chicken wing roses and a “sorry for your loss” card today.

    • Tony says:
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      @Giant Gigantes: #1 why are you able to pick up players for a night game? dont your line ups lock? jeesh thats ridiculous…. #2 you are the smarter GM, dont feel bad you did what it took to win…. he shouldn’t have even had the option to pick a guy up and if he’s gonna do it, DO IT, you snooze ya lose…. solid win, all he should do is TIP HIS CAP….

    • Sixto Lezcano says:
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      @Giant Gigantes: It’s legal but to me bordering on shady. One year I was in the finals with this one guy who got a lead in pitching and then started grabbing and dropping every pitcher so no one could get them off waivers. No waiver limit so he did this to death. I think Yahoo changed the rules so if you do that on the same day the guy goes back out on waivers.

      All of this is legal but it just kind of goes against the fun of it – mano a mano, your guy vs. my guy. If it just comes down to who clicks the button faster that’s just nerdy bullshit. At least to me it is.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Giant Gigantes: Sounds good to me… Everything short of paying a hacker to break into your competish’s team is fine…

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Grey: all of this is nerdy bullshit, so….

  3. Troy: The Collector

    Troy says:
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    Would you drop Dunn for matt Adams?

    • costaricanchata says:
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      @Troy:

      i’d drop dunn for a half bag of roasted peanuts .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Troy: Yup

  4. Moose Out Front says:
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    Grey, I have made it to the finals of my 12 team 6×6 HTH thanks in no small part to you, getting Miggy with the 1st pick, or Chris Davis’s 600th homer.

    However I want your opinion on the week for former buy column specialist Anthiny Rizzo. Thinking of dropping him and adding Lind or Span for this week of HTH. No idea what I’ll need, just looking for productivity. I only get 6 roster moves and will need at least 4 for SP streaming. Thoughts?

      • Moose Out Front says:
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        @Grey: Thanks Grey. Now I see Fatt Matt Adams is available too. Him or Span, assuming you agree that Rizzo should be dropped for one of them this week?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Sure on Rizzo… Adams and Span are apples and oranges, depends what you need

          • Moose Out Front says:
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            @Grey: Any combo of R, RBI, HR, AVG, SLG, and SB. Just general productivity this week. I have the edge in each category based on season results, but you know how fickle a single HTH week can be.

              • Moose Out Front says:
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                @Grey: Thanks again Grey. I just double checked Adams matchups this week and not only does he get 4 @ COL, but all 7 games are projected to be against RHP. Yummy. The drop button on Rizzo felt good. No Champaign for him.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  No problem

  5. bossmanjunior says:
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    1) Would you bother with Kemp this week? Someone in my league dropped him. He would replace either Hosmer or Swisher.

    2) Better stream: Estrada vCHC or Petit @NYM?

  6. fausto says:
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    with my first pick Matt “the limp” Kemp coming off the DL (it looks like)…i have a decision to make….i picked up junior lake to stream this week(for anything) and just bc the cubs have 7 games this week . do i play the “wait and see” with Kemp? yahoo gives you a few days to activate a player and is lake my player to drop if kemp comes back? heres my lineup. or would it be worth dropping a closer for him? the team im playing has punted sv’s and sb. so i need to save all moves for sp. In theory i need to win 3 out of 8 cats bc i have the tiebreaker if we go 5-5. also you like quintana vs MIN? or hold til later in the wk to see where im at?

    Ramos
    Moss
    Phillips
    Arod(day to day hammy/calf)
    Middlebrooks (flu)
    Lake
    Andrus
    Villar(SAGNOF pickup, but looking like an “AGNOF”)
    T. Hunter, A Jones, Trumbo, Soriano(thumb), Bonifacio.

    SP Price, Sale, Liriano, Sanchez,(2start) Archer, Scherzer, Wilson,(2start) Gray(2start) Kazmir(2Start), Roark(2 Start).

    Dont really want to drop a closer but these are my 3 romo, perkins, jansen(tor)

    Sorry this post was way too long.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @fausto: For get Kemp… I like Quintana vs. the Twins… Is this a keeper? Just drop Kemp…

      • fausto says:
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        @Grey: not a keeper…kemp isn’t taking a roster spot now because he is km dl….but to activate him and add quintana I’d have to drop 2 playas.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I’d lose Kemp

        • goodfold2 says:
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          @fausto: he’s taking up one now, though, isn’t he.

  7. FilthyRich says:
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    Need HRs, RBI, Runs in 5×5. Would you start A-Rod or Adams? How about 1 guy between Calhoun, Venable or Span? And finally – Hill or Villar?

    THanks!

  8. TobiasFunkeAnalRapist says:
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    Hey Grey nice read again. I’m in the ship in my H2H 12 team 6×6 category league. I picked up Gattis last week while he was hot and now I’m wondering if Wilson Ramos or Pinto should be an add that I drop Gattis for? He’s seemed to have cooled off and Ramos and Pinto seem to be trying to prove something. I might just be over thinking it too. Thanks.

  9. raph says:
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    Would you drop Cespedes or Bonifacio or Justin Upton for Matt Adams?

    And are you starting Ryu @ ARI? Look at his numbers vs ARI and his road numbers. All signs pointing to no.. but i’m not sure!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @raph: Cespedes… Sit Ryu

  10. Wallpaper Paterson says:
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    Playoffs start today in my NL-Only league. This could also be the beginning of the end. My team is the one seed and is facing a team that is barely over .500. My pitching staff is now worse than it has ever been thanks to recent injuries and shut downs (Harvey and Fernandez latest two). If I see another great season ended by crap in the playoffs, I might retire. It is getting old.

    Last year I had a football team that went 11-2 and never scored fewer than 77 points (league average was somewhere in high 80s, low 90s). Playoffs come and my team scores 30 points! I have had a lot of this type of luck in the past four calendar years.

    Also, I derive no fun from rotisserie.

    • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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      @Wallpaper Paterson: Grey can’t relate to the football example. Try grabbing guys that can be relevant later in the year at mid season. Roto is rad, you have to learn to eat a new meal…….how’s football going this year?

      • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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        @Jack Full O’ Hate: I beat you inWeek 1 because you benched your last three players either by accident or on purpose (some ppl lose in Week 1 to get a top waiver addition). Then in Week 2, barring a multiple sack effort from Atkins tonight I will lose due to stupidity. See, I benched Julio Jones yesterday at about 12:53 because I was not sure if he would be limited or not. Did not watch or listen to any pregame shows yesterday. So, I received a gift and then gave a gift.

      • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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        @Grey: If I lose this week, I will take next year off for h2h action unless I find some money league featuring payouts for regular season success and playoff wins.

        I could see myself playing in a points league with Tehol, but that is kind of roto-ish.

        Daily fantasy baseball seems up my alley.

        23 weeks of great fantasy play ruined by one fluky bad week is really rotten. Being bored for six months with roto is crap, too.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Roto is better than H2H…

          • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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            @Grey: I like that craziness of h2h. My complaint is being dominant in the RS and having a dud playoff performance. Give me a money league with some payouts based on RS success and I am all for it. This is what I was driving at this morning. My NL-Only league is for bragging rights only. I don’t believe in such a league again. 23 weeks of greatness could end in semi-finals disaster this week.

            As for roto, I have a very difficult time with it and this includes years when I have a good team.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Gotcha

              • goodfold2 says:
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                @Grey: like me, look for a h2h-roto hybrid league, where you play your team’s stats vs the opp’s teams, but it’s scored on a weekly basis, so the h2h immediacy is still there. Like a bunch of roto seasons put together.

    • Wake Up says:
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      @Wallpaper Paterson: H2H and Roto are apples and oranges…the trick to H2H is you gotta stop at the seeds…don’t eat the seeds…the seeds will make you sick…Roto smells better, but it is much more boring to eat…soft and mushy and most people eat Roto cuz it’s good for you…in fact, most people just peel and squish all their Rotos together to get a bland, faceless, juice that is bought and then sold, or sold and then bought, by both Dan Akroyd and Eddie Murphy…Jamie Lee Curtis was obviously a Daily, FanDuel type player…point is, H2H is not fair……get over it…Life is not fair, period period period Anyone who was paying attention knew that Jo Fer was getting shutdown early…being a rookie and being on a team that had nothing to play for…you should have been able to prepare for that situation…you have to prepare a H2H team for a playoff run…it is a lot more challenging than managing a Roto team because you have to be aware of matchups and players who will most likely be getting shutdown due to their teams being out of the race…and most importantly you need to be preparing to beat the team that you are playing right now…that is the most exciting and most challenging part about H2H…you not only have to put the best team out there everyday like in Roto, but you have to put the team out there that is going to beat the team that you are playing right now! And, again, it doesn’t always work out…You have to be able to embrace the fact that you made the correct decision, with the information that you had at the time, and not necessarily focus solely on the results…and if this doesn’t help…you can always take your H2H team apples outside and stomp the shit out of them…leave them out there to rot and ferment and you will have some delicious Hard Apple Cider to drink while drafting your next H2H team that will torment you!

      • costaricanchata says:
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        @Wake Up:

        well said !

  11. future11 says:
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    I asked guru this too so wanted to consult all Razzball expertise for championship week. I loaded up with a bunch of 2 start guys in advance so my potential opponent couldnt.. this is my pitching staff, hows it look? Points league (daily)- Championship is 2 weeks long, 24 max starts from my pitching

    SP= waino/ scherzer/ hamels/ cole/ weaver/ gray/ petit/ porcello/ kluber

    rp- koji/ kenley/ gregg/ melancon

    = noticed cueto is coming back.. should I add him and dump porcello, kluber, gray, Y. petit or K.Gregg? I feel confident in those streamer options, going to drop petit after his mets start for Roark vs MIA hopefully.

    Thanks alot Grey! Keep the articles coming always great reads

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @future11: Forget Cueto… Your staff looks fine assuming all of those guys have good matchups… I don’t know everyone’s opponent…