As you can see I didn’t go with the traditional dong GIF. Instead, I went with the look of horror on the ladies face when you tell them you play fantasy baseball GIF. You could be cool and say “fantasy football: because that’s what the cool kids do”. Or so I hear. Speaking of fantasy football, have you been following Jay on the football side? Wait a minute, why am I making a shameless plug for the football side? I’m talking about dongs and that is Razzball baseball. Don’t worry, I have a GIF of the Donger. Who would I be to deny you guys… and girls of some dong in action? Trust me, that’s totally safe for work. If this was the comments section, I could start the countdown to when Sky would post the girl getting pelted in the face with hot dogs GIF. Speaking of Sky, have you played DFS? It might be better than regular fantasy, and no, I don’t mean H2H fantasy, that shizz sucks.

 

Category Leaders – Week 16

RUN 33 Pop-Up Powerbombs WET TAIL!!
HR 11 Pop-Up Powerbombs WET TAIL!!
RBI 29 Bats n Balls Death by 5 x 5
SB 8 The Outlaw Josey Wales Tehol and Taints
AVG .392 Team Mahnken Slamming Sammys
K 69 Anabolic Agents Dr. Bosch’s Anti-Agers
W 5 14 teams  see chart below
SV 6 Cleveland Jawns SchmidtHeads
ERA 0.42 Team Sheridan Cougs R Us
WHIP 0.56 Razz Angels Take on Jay #1

* ERA and WHIP are based off 18 innings pitched minimum

naples cardinals Blues Odyssey
Nude Intruders Do I Make You Razzy Baby!!
drunc orks Euro Razzball
Winds Above A Placemat FUBAR
Callapso Cove Tropidome Fantasy Water Park League
Feverish Beavers Grey’s Mustache Wax
Holliday in Cambodia Grey’s Mustache Wax
Capital Offense HA!
60 Grade Fantasy Baller Slamming Sammys
Laser Show The Captains of Outer Space
John Boccabellas The Downward Spiral
Buge Hoobs The Game of Throws
Sall good man The Underground
Team UpNort Zitos Meatballs

I wasn’t sure I was getting weekly leaders this week but VinWins! came through again. Speaking of Vin, he will be covering the update next while I’m on vacation. Thanks Vin, I appreciate it. I will also not be here on Sunday. The Big Magoo will be covering the Creeper of the Week for me, but don’t worry, I will still have my top 100 hitters for you guys…and girls to take your shots at. Sorry, enough about me it’s time to talk about you. We’ve had lots of ties this year in the weekly but never like this. 14 teams! It’s pretty cool that pop-up won two cats and Josey Wales stole 8 bags. The other impressive showing was 69 K’s for anabolic. Very well done everybody.

 

The RCL Top-20, Week 16

This is the best around!… For the season… so far. Do you want to be Daniel Larusso? Then you got to beat all the Cobra Kai’s and win the All Valleys RCL Championship. Word around the office is that the grand prize is Sky jumping out of a cake in your living room and doing a strip tease to the the tune of Moment of Truth by Survivor. The table below contains the rank, team name, league name, RCL points, League Index and League Points.

Rank Team League RCL Points League Index League Points
1  Unpainted Arizona  HA! 112.61 103 106
2  Wake Up  FCL 110.98 108 93
3  Backdoor Sliders  Razzball Champion’s League 110.36 106 95.5
4  RA the Rugged D ickeys  King Ralph’s Emporium 108.70 102 107
5  Soler Powered  Two Out Rally 107.97 102 103.5
6  Big Magoo  Take on Magoo 106.52 101 105
7  John Boccabellas  The Downward Spiral 106.44 104 97.5
8  Money Ballers  JB’s RCL 105.67 102 101.5
9  Cram It  FCL 105.56 108 88
10  Pittsburgh Lumber Company Night of the Living Zombinos 104.69 104 97
11  Hardy Bombs  Lester’s RCL #3 104.51 101 105
12  drunc orks  Euro Razzball 103.82 99 108
13  Jersey Moose  Walking On Sunshine 103.76 102 100
14  The Strolgs  Cougs R Us 103.69 104 94.5
15  Astros to Mouth  Spiders and Snakes 103.42 100 104
16  Team Montesanto  The Filthy Spawn of Beddict 103.24 101 101
17  Backdoor Sliders  Night of the Living Zombinos 102.89 104 95.5
18  Wood Street Wonders  Blues Odyssey 102.45 101 102.5
19  Don Mattingly’s Sideburns  Cougs R Us 101.41 104 93
20  I’ve got Wood. … Phrasing!  Take on Jay #1 99.54 102 94

Razzball Commenter Leagues 2015 MASTER STANDINGS

I talked about this last week and now it’s come to fruition. We have a top-20! *balloons drop from the ceiling* I, the hateful one, wanted to include more of you, as the standings have got really tight in the middle. The other day Nick the Dick called me Jack Full of Wonderful, for my love of Mr. Wonderful on Shark Tank, and I like it. This is my wonderful for you…now with more love! The top 3 gets a small shuffle as wake is right in front of the backdoor now. Magoo and Boccabellas jumped up a few while wood street fell 9 spots. After that cluster we have 11 teams that are only separated by 3.22 point. Thats cray! This battle is so tight that even Grey, who was in 19th last week with 100.11 RCL points, fell ten spots to 29th with 98.75 RCL points. In three days you can fall that far that fast. As we get closer to the end and the game starts even out I know this top 20 will be changing every week. Don’t be discouraged if you are not here yet, there is still a lot of time and so much can happen.

 

Making Trades and Taking Names

The table below shows the team name and player(s) that each team gave up in the trade. All data provided by Vin Wins! All Commentary by Me!

Take on Jay #7 Alcibiades Escobar – Bryce Harper Rookie Monsters – Clayton Kershaw
Tehol and Taints DONT TOUCH MY WONG! – Anthony Rizzo, J.D. Martinez, Troy Tulowitzki Hate Us Cause They Anus – Josh Donaldson, Justin Upton, Lorenzo Cain
WET TAIL!! Full Baked – Charlie Blackmon Yobo Goya – Kris Bryant
Cougs R Us Team Sheridan – Kyle Seager The Knudsens – Yoenis Cespedes
DriHeat AZ Dude – Brandon Crawford, Ian Kinsler Captain Kweef – Clayton Kershaw

It’s been a while since I have talked about trades and this week I’m covering deals done from July 6th to July 19th. To open we get Harper for Kershaw which is a massive swap. Personally, I would prefer that deal earlier in the season to get more starts out of Clayton but it’s still a nice return for both. It only makes sense that in Tehol’s league that the monster of all monsters deals went down. I like the Rizzo side and think it’s not even close. I would love for these owners to come in and talk about the deal. Blackmon for Bryant, I love it! Feels fair and needs based. Nice set of balls on these owners. I’m not loving the Seager for Cespedes and if you red my top 100 you already know why. The last deal is a head scratcher.  Two players that are borderline replaceable or statistically attainable via battyschomtato strategy for a top three arm? AZ Dude came up huge here.

 

Top Offensive Performances of the Week

Team League H AB Ave R HR RBI SB
Pop-Up Powerbombs WET TAIL!! 57 147 .388 33 11 22 4
Pecan Sandies Freebird 53 141 .376 25 8 25 3
Team Sample Rotokings 54 148 .365 25 9 28 2
Team Miller $12 Salads 44 121 .364 25 8 14 5
Asgard THUNDER Northern Exposure 52 146 .356 27 5 17 7
Cips FBC Razzball Soccer Sympathizers 41 117 .350 24 7 19 5
Low Hanging Fruit Skunk Beard 44 125 .352 20 7 22 5
Team Mahnken Slamming Sammys 40 102 .392 23 5 12 2
Team carl The Captains of Outer Space 36 94 .383 15 7 15 3
Dee’s Nuts Pretty Hate Machine 46 138 .333 26 9 25 2
Surgin’ Genitals The Downward Spiral 51 143 .357 24 6 22 2
Im Here For the Chicks Vancouver 50 144 .347 25 7 22 2
The Kris-tening In The Danger Zone 50 143 .350 24 6 17 4
13 Inch Bat Lester’s RCL #2 37 100 .370 17 6 17 3
Evil Evies ECFBL 44 124 .355 17 8 23 1
Cactus Jack Lester’s RCL #1 47 133 .353 26 5 24 1
Corn on the Macabre Smokey’s Den 43 127 .339 19 8 23 3
J B JB’s RCL 42 132 .318 20 9 20 6
Back Pew GENERALS Lester’s RCL #1 47 141 .333 26 6 15 6
Raging Pimp Hands Blues Odyssey 50 139 .360 21 4 21 3

Top Pitching Performances of the Week

Team League IP ER ERA K BB HA W WHIP Saves
Anabolic Agents Dr. Bosch’s Anti-Agers 49.2 4 0.72 69 10 27 4 0.74 0
dom squad Big, if true 43.2 3 0.62 45 7 25 4 0.73 2
John Boccabellas The Downward Spiral 39.2 3 0.68 49 5 32 5 0.93 2
Sky High Flyers Do I Make You Razzy Baby!! 40 4 0.90 44 9 25 4 0.85 0
60 Grade Fantasy Baller Slamming Sammys 38 5 1.18 41 6 20 5 0.68 2
Capital Offense HA! 42 5 1.07 26 14 28 5 1.00 2
drunc orks Euro Razzball 36.2 4 0.98 40 8 25 5 0.90 3
Feverish Beavers Grey’s Mustache Wax 41.1 6 1.31 41 8 27 5 0.85 2
Team Stone Lester’s RCL #1 48 8 1.50 45 13 32 4 0.94 2
Marty Van Buren Goes Ham Beddict and the Elder God Chosen 38.1 4 0.94 29 9 27 4 0.94 1
Unpainted Arizona HA! 35.1 4 1.02 46 4 22 3 0.74 1
naples cardinals Blues Odyssey 39 6 1.38 48 4 25 5 0.74 0
Sall good man The Underground 45 8 1.60 50 4 36 5 0.89 1
the wrightstuff $12 Salads 36.1 5 1.24 41 8 21 4 0.80 2
Razz Angels Take on Jay #1 27 2 0.67 33 2 13 3 0.56 2
Hold My Beer I Got This Muscle Car Fanatics 38.1 6 1.41 41 6 23 4 0.76 1
Backdoor Sliders Night of the Living Zombinos 38.2 6 1.40 38 7 26 4 0.85 2
Team mota BATTAMANIA! 39.1 5 1.14 36 8 30 2 0.97 1
The Texas Beer Monster Hodgepadres ‘R’ Us 38 5 1.18 43 10 22 1 0.84 1
Blotto’s Colonels Zitos Meatballs 39.1 7 1.60 37 5 24 4 0.74 2

 

 

 

 
  1. Grey

    Grey says:
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    Damn, crazy race going on in the FCL, huh?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Without you, that is

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: it’s a two horse race. Magoo, pandas, kid, steve and I are not even close.

        I’m back above rudy in perts!

        Did you see I’m above you in the master standings with my writers league team. I’m the RCL Hack

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I don’t look to see who’s above me, I look to see the 1,000+ teams below me

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: good, then I will always let you know when I’m ahead of you in the master standings like you did last year when Gareth was ahead of Kid A

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Ha!

              • J-FOH says:
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                and no argument about my beard response

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Your beard is a commitment the borders on people who collect potato chips that look like presidents…My shizz is handsome!

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    my beard is beautiful. Everyday cougar I meet wants to touch it. you better keep me away from cougs, mama cougs and mama albright, they will not be able to resist. It’s like kryptonite for women over 40

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Ha! They feel a kinship, cause it’s like a Cougar bush that is unkempt!

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      it takes them to back to who they are and not being 20 year olds down there. Deep down inside they want to cross bush’s with my face.

                      when I come over for the master chef viewing party you’ll see.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      HA…I actually considered watching Britain’s MasterChef last night on Youtube…I got a problem!

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      I would, my kid is pissed she didnt get to watch the kids version. Also, I got a shark tank problem. Watched an old one last night and damn, people are f**king idiots when they some in with $10,000 in net sales

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Telling you, bunch of those people are just seeking publicity or they’re good TV

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      I know, but that golf ball cleaner made by the cop was cool

        • mauledbypandas says:
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          @J-FOH: Yeah, I had some hope that someone would catch fire and challenge, but it sure as hell isn’t going to be me. I actually like my team in that league just too many injuries and bad drafting… I’m looking at you Dickerson!

          • J-FOH says:
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            @mauledbypandas: right after the draft I was surprised at your selections. It was very not you by the guy I know. You even had the added bonus of being behind two auto drafters and you missed a lot. Drafting injured guys and what not. I assume you were drunk and shizz happens. You are still on of my favorite RCL playas!

  2. RotoLance

    RotoLance says:
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    Which has more value in dynasty, Grey’s ‘stache or your beard?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Is it close?

      • RotoLance

        RotoLance says:
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        @Grey: That was J-FOH’s line.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @RotoLance: my beard, it takes time, like a dynasty to grow this beard. I have seen Grey without a stache and its a total roto re-draft play. He can grow that thing out in 3 days

  3. Scott says:
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    Could be a coincidence, but there’s a Surgin’ Genitals in Take On Jay #5 which had an offensive explosion last week.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Scott: is the league wrong? I dont actually make those lists

      • Scott says:
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        @J-FOH: I don’t think so. The numbers are different.

        • VinWins

          VinWins says:
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          @Scott: They are owned by the same person; the team in Take on Jay 5 is having a great offensive start to this week, but last week was not that great.

  4. DrEasy says:
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    Leading my league but 179th overall! Yay-ish!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @DrEasy: The master standings are a cruel lady, you need more points yo!

      • Scott says:
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        @J-FOH: You must crush your enemies beneath your boot, and listen to the lamentation of their women and children!

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Scott: pretty close, it’s a bitch and then you die

  5. Cram It says:
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    I’m the Blackmon for Bryant trade. With Santana and Pablo weighing down the corners with their crap encased bodies, I needed some power production there. I ain’t scared!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Cram It: good deal for you, its ballsy, and I think both owners got very nice returns

  6. Ralph Lifshitz

    Ralph Lifshitz says:
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    Quick clarification the cool kids play real fantasy football…. soccer.razzball.com

    baba-booey, baba-booey, baba-booey!!!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Ralph Lifshitz: cool kids cant even hyper link?

  7. Gareth says:
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    I have the Devil on one shoulder goading me to join an rcl league with KID A next year.

    The Angel on the other shoulder is chain smoking and rocking back and forth at the idea of being in a league with KID A (ALL YEAR!) again.

    There needs to be an “I survived KID A” club with T-shirts, pamphlets and online group meetings.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Gareth: play with him

  8. HappyHarry1958 says:
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    12 team, H2H, 6X6 – would you trade away Greinke and (Sandovol or G.Polanco?) for his Harvey and Votto? thanks Man

  9. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    Yeah, that trade in Dri heat was questionable. Captain Kweef had not touched his roster since May 15; makes an appearance July 18th, dropping 7 players and accepting a deal for Kershaw. And then he doesn’t even put Kershaw into his starting lineup for the final start before the trade processed.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @VinWins: that makes it even worse. Kweef is not cool.

  10. Roll of SAGNOF, Hear my Cry says:
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    superb call on Coghlan, J-FOH, superb call.

Comments are closed.