The slew of emails from every business under the sun regarding their comprehensive COVID-19 protocol continued this past week. I was on pins and needles wondering how Jiffy Lube, Bob’s Discount Furniture and Cledus’s Used Cars might handle this terrible crisis. Now I can finally rest easy. Anyway, you’re probably tired of hearing about this virus stuff that’s ruining all of our lives. So let’s shift our attention over to one of my fantasy drafts which was only slightly more interesting than that bulletin detailing how often the garbage man is washing his hands. Last week you got Grey’s RazzSlam recap aka Pete Alonso love letter. Now here’s my RazzSlam, 12-team best ball points league draft recap:
C: Francisco Mejia (21.252)
C: Kurt Suzuki (24.277)
1B: Rhys Hoskins (10.109)
2B: Jose Altuve (4.37)
SS: Jorge Polanco (11.132)
3B: Nolan Arenado (1.12)
MI: Kevin Newman (19.228)
CI: Hunter Dozier (15.180)
OF: J.D. Martinez (2.13)
OF: George Springer (3.36)
OF: Giancarlo Stanton (5.60)
OF: Luis Robert (7.84)
OF: Andrew McCutchen (18.205)
Util: Shohei Ohtani (8.85)
Bench: Michael Chavis (20.229), Daniel Murphy (22.253), Yoshi Tsutsugo (27.324), Carter Kieboom (28.325), Miguel Cabrera (31.372), Yoenis Cespedes (35.420), Marwin Gonzalez (36.421), Chance Sisco (37.444), Adam Haseley (38.445), Randy Arozarena (39.468), Hunter Pence (41.492)
P: Charlie Morton (6.61)
P: Trevor Bauer (9.108)
P: Robbie Ray (12.133)
P: Edwin Diaz (13.156)
P: Craig Kimbrel (14.157)
P: Mike Minor (16.181)
P: Mike Foltynewicz (17.204)
P: A.J. Puk (23.276)
P: Miles Mikolas (36.300)
Bench: Josh Lindblom (26.301), Jose Quintana (29.348), Julio Teheran (30.349), Yusei Kikuchi (32.373), Cole Hamels (33.396), Jon Lester (34.397), Jake Arrieta (40.469), Merrill Kelly (43.493)
WHAT IS BEST BALL FORMAT? I ALWAYS THOUGHT BOTH OF MY BALLS WERE THE SAME . . .
Best ball is a relatively new game in the fantasy baseball world. It’s a points league format which requires little to no in season management. You draft your team and then the computer set’s your optimal weekly lineup each week AFTER the week’s games have completed. It’s so easy a donkey can do it. If you missed out on the RazzSlam and/or 2021 RazzSlam Qualifier you can read more here and begin to mentally prepare for the 2021 RazzSlam Fan Lottery.
I’VE BEEN READING GREY ALBRIGHT POSTS FOR THE PAST MONTH AND HE KEEPS SAYING HOW STUPID DONKEY TEETH IS FOR DRAFTING CHRIS SALE ON EVERY SINGLE TEAM. WHY ISN’T SALE ON THIS TEAM?
Grey’s a liar! Well he’s not 100% lies, I am very stupid. But I drafted Chris Sale one time and now Fantasy Master Lothario never lets me live it down. Actually I drafted him twice—53rd pick prior to his MRI and then 203rd pick before the Tommy John announcement. But I have at least 69 fantasy teams—nice, right? Now leave me alone, Grey!
DID THE 19TH OF THE COVIDS HAVE ANY AFFECT ON YOUR DRAFT STRATEGY?
It wasn’t until round 32 when the realization set in that this COVID was a little more serious than the previous 18 COVIDs. When the MLB announced the season would be delayed, I immediately scooped up the injured Cole Hamels at pick 396, but that was about the only impact for my team since it was so late in the game. Even if we redrafted today, I’m not sure there’s many adjustments to make in a points leagues other than moving the injured players up the board a little. I’d also be a bit more aggressive going after prospects on competitive teams. If it turns into an 80-game season, guys like Jo Adell, Dylan Carlson, MacKenzie Gore, Nico Hoerner and Nick Madrigal might all just start the season in the majors.
YOU DRAFTED BOTH SPRINGER AND ALTUVE AT THE 3/4 TURN. DID THEY THROW IN A TRASH CAN WITH THOSE PICKS?
OK, so it didn’t feel great drafting two Astros there, but this point scoring format is friendly to Springer and Altuve. Last year Springer was the 7th best hitter in this scoring on a per game basis and Altuve was the 3rd best second baseman. They stood out from the rest of the bats left on the board at that point. My strategy coming in was to load up on hitters early and then stack a bunch of mediocre arms in the middle portion of the draft. With a robot setting my optimal lineup after the fact, I don’t have to worry so much about my middling pitchers’ blowups counting against me. And with the points league scoring, there’s no concern about protecting pitching ratios for the length of a full (or half) season.
THAT’S ALL GREAT, BUT WILL THERE EVEN BE A BASEBALL SEASON?
Who do you think I am? Nostradonkus? Nostradonkus does have a nice ring to it.
Something’s coming to me. It’s beautiful! The calendar reads June 1st and Yusei Kikuchi, The Kooch, is set to deliver the first pitch of the 2020 baseball season. The whole season is played without any fans. All players are tested for COVID immunity; the still at risk players are identified and closely monitored. These players undergo vigilant testing for the virus on a daily basis. All workers present at games undergo the same testing regimen. After being caught cheating the test, the Astros are banned from the league. The Padres defeat the Angels in the World Series: 4 games to 2. Donkey Teeth wins the inaugural RazzSlam and the world rejoices after banding together to withstand the powerless Coronavirus!