The slew of emails from every business under the sun regarding their comprehensive COVID-19 protocol continued this past week. I was on pins and needles wondering how Jiffy Lube, Bob’s Discount Furniture and Cledus’s Used Cars might handle this terrible crisis. Now I can finally rest easy. Anyway, you’re probably tired of hearing about this virus stuff that’s ruining all of our lives. So let’s shift our attention over to one of my fantasy drafts which was only slightly more interesting than that bulletin detailing how often the garbage man is washing his hands. Last week you got Grey’s RazzSlam recap aka Pete Alonso love letter. Now here’s my RazzSlam, 12-team best ball points league draft recap:

C: Francisco Mejia (21.252)
C: Kurt Suzuki (24.277)
1B: Rhys Hoskins (10.109)
2B: Jose Altuve (4.37)
SS: Jorge Polanco (11.132)
3B: Nolan Arenado (1.12)
MI: Kevin Newman (19.228)
CI: Hunter Dozier (15.180)
OF:  J.D. Martinez (2.13)
OF: George Springer (3.36)
OF: Giancarlo Stanton (5.60)
OF: Luis Robert (7.84)
OF: Andrew McCutchen (18.205)
Util: Shohei Ohtani (8.85)
Bench: Michael Chavis (20.229), Daniel Murphy (22.253), Yoshi Tsutsugo (27.324), Carter Kieboom (28.325), Miguel Cabrera (31.372), Yoenis Cespedes (35.420), Marwin Gonzalez (36.421), Chance Sisco (37.444), Adam Haseley (38.445), Randy Arozarena (39.468), Hunter Pence (41.492)

P: Charlie Morton (6.61)
P: Trevor Bauer (9.108)
P: Robbie Ray (12.133)
P: Edwin Diaz (13.156)
P: Craig Kimbrel (14.157)
P: Mike Minor (16.181)
P: Mike Foltynewicz (17.204)
P: A.J. Puk (23.276)
P: Miles Mikolas (36.300)
Bench: Josh Lindblom (26.301), Jose Quintana (29.348), Julio Teheran (30.349), Yusei Kikuchi (32.373), Cole Hamels (33.396), Jon Lester (34.397), Jake Arrieta (40.469), Merrill Kelly (43.493)

WHAT IS BEST BALL FORMAT? I ALWAYS THOUGHT BOTH OF MY BALLS WERE THE SAME . . .

Best ball is a relatively new game in the fantasy baseball world. It’s a points league format which requires little to no in season management. You draft your team and then the computer set’s your optimal weekly lineup each week AFTER the week’s games have completed. It’s so easy a donkey can do it. If you missed out on the RazzSlam and/or 2021 RazzSlam Qualifier you can read more here and begin to mentally prepare for the 2021 RazzSlam Fan Lottery.

I’VE BEEN READING GREY ALBRIGHT POSTS FOR THE PAST MONTH AND HE KEEPS SAYING HOW STUPID DONKEY TEETH IS FOR DRAFTING CHRIS SALE ON EVERY SINGLE TEAM. WHY ISN’T SALE ON THIS TEAM?

Grey’s a liar! Well he’s not 100% lies, I am very stupid. But I drafted Chris Sale one time and now Fantasy Master Lothario never lets me live it down. Actually I drafted him twice—53rd pick prior to his MRI and then 203rd pick before the Tommy John announcement. But I have at least 69 fantasy teams—nice, right? Now leave me alone, Grey!

DID THE 19TH OF THE COVIDS HAVE ANY AFFECT ON YOUR DRAFT STRATEGY?

It wasn’t until round 32 when the realization set in that this COVID was a little more serious than the previous 18 COVIDs. When the MLB announced the season would be delayed, I immediately scooped up the injured Cole Hamels at pick 396, but that was about the only impact for my team since it was so late in the game. Even if we redrafted today, I’m not sure there’s many adjustments to make in a points leagues other than moving the injured players up the board a little. I’d also be a bit more aggressive going after prospects on competitive teams. If it turns into an 80-game season, guys like Jo Adell, Dylan Carlson, MacKenzie Gore, Nico Hoerner and Nick Madrigal might all just start the season in the majors.

YOU DRAFTED BOTH SPRINGER AND ALTUVE AT THE 3/4 TURN. DID THEY THROW IN A TRASH CAN WITH THOSE PICKS?

OK, so it didn’t feel great drafting two Astros there, but this point scoring format is friendly to Springer and Altuve. Last year Springer was the 7th best hitter in this scoring on a per game basis and Altuve was the 3rd best second baseman.  They stood out from the rest of the bats left on the board at that point. My strategy coming in was to load up on hitters early and then stack a bunch of mediocre arms in the middle portion of the draft. With a robot setting my optimal lineup after the fact, I don’t have to worry so much about my middling pitchers’ blowups counting against me. And with the points league scoring, there’s no concern about protecting pitching ratios for the length of a full (or half) season.

THAT’S ALL GREAT, BUT WILL THERE EVEN BE A BASEBALL SEASON?

Who do you think I am? Nostradonkus? Nostradonkus does have a nice ring to it.

Something’s coming to me. It’s beautiful! The calendar reads June 1st and Yusei Kikuchi, The Kooch, is set to deliver the first pitch of the 2020 baseball season. The whole season is played without any fans. All players are tested for COVID immunity; the still at risk players are identified and closely monitored. These players undergo vigilant testing for the virus on a daily basis. All workers present at games undergo the same testing regimen. After being caught cheating the test, the Astros are banned from the league. The Padres defeat the Angels in the World Series: 4 games to 2. Donkey Teeth wins the inaugural RazzSlam and the world rejoices after banding together to withstand the powerless Coronavirus!

 
  1. ratedm4man says:
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    Nostradonkus, eh? I’ll allow it. It’s good. I may have missed it, but has Ba-Donkey Donk been used yet?

    Great article…up until the Donkey wins the RazzSlam. Anyways, here’s to seein’ ya in the finals!!

    RazzSlam Finalist Team #1:

    Barnhart
    Stallings

    Rizzo
    Marte
    Mondesi
    Arenado
    Gurriel
    Gregorius

    Shogo
    Jd martinez
    Eloy
    Louie Robbie
    Kepler

    Mercado

    Paddack
    Sonny
    Eduardo Rodriguez
    Minor
    Manaea
    Luccesi
    Archer
    Chironos
    Cueto

    Calhoun
    Garrett Hampson
    Hays
    Arraeaz
    Myers
    O’Neil
    Franco
    Bohm
    Austidillio
    Pujols
    Chris Davis
    Pache

    Shoemaker
    Burnes
    Bassett
    Yamamoto
    Skubal
    Quantrill
    Pivetta

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Ha thanks!

      Team looks strong, good luck!

  2. Grey

    Grey says:
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    This entire post is lies if Chris Sale isn’t your 1st SP

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Nostradonkus cannot tell a lie

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Dude’s nonstop lies!

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          He just amended his prophecy to July 4th.

        • baby seal says:
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          Redonkulous! He’s addicted to pitchers w/ TJS!

          • Donkey Teeth

            Donkey Teeth says:
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            Bout to nominate Chris Sale in our slow auction, baby

            • baby seal says:
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              Hahaha, I wonder if anyone will go to $2… only one way to find out!

  3. Scott says:
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    Thanks for the post, DT! 15 team keeper league, 5×5 obp, H2H. Looking for some feedback on my roster. Anything I should be focusing on for improvement?

    C- Alfaro
    1b- Alonso
    2b- Altuve
    3b- Sano
    SS- Bregman
    Mi- Madrigal
    CI- Bell
    OF- S. Marte
    OF- Calhoun
    OF- L. Robert
    OF- Mercado
    OF- Santander
    U- Y. Diaz
    U- Happ
    BN- O’Neill, Schoop, F. Cordero

    SP- Corbin
    SP- Giolito
    SP- Stroman
    SP- Musgrove
    RP- Hader
    RP- N. Anderson
    RP- Colome
    RP- Hirano
    P- C. Smith
    BN- DeSclafani, Plesac

    Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Scott, team looks well rounded. The back end of your offense is a little sketchy (Santander, Happ mainly) but should be able to grab a couple hot bats to fill in there throughout the season.

      I’ll say, in H2H I usually like to use my bench spots for arms. Not sure you need those three bench bats right now.

      No problem!

      • Scott says:
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        Thanks! If I drop my bench bats, these are some of the pitchers available on waivers:

        Corbin Burnes
        Ryan Pressly
        Anibal Sanchez
        Cueto
        Merrill Kelly
        Marco Gonzales
        Gausman
        Homer Bailey (Son’s favorite)

        Thoughts?

        • Scott says:
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          Also
          Kikuchi
          Whitley
          Canning (ucl?)

          • baby seal says:
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            Also, pretty sure Plesac just got moved down to the minors. So maybe replace him, too. Gausman for me. Should be OK at home — at least in theory.

            I think the back half of the offense for a 15 is actually OK. Speed may be a bit light overall, though.

            Your rotation could get messy really quickly. Stroman / Musgrove should be 4s, and you don’t have a great dart throw at the end, either. I guess your RPs help make up for that to some extent. I’m not totally bought in on Anderson being a sure thing, just yet…. not a bad team!

            • Scott says:
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              Thanks, guys! Appreciate the feedback and suggestions.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Only other question is moves limit. Might want to wait if you have a tight moves limit until rotations (and season start date) are a little clearer.

          If it’s nearly unlimited then I’d grab, Gausman, Burnes and the Kooch.

  4. Jolt In Flow says:
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    Hey Donkey, your thought process on taking JD Martinez 13th overall? Am I missing something? Is JD much better in the first half of seasons (therefore, more beneficial for a shortened season)? I feel like you had a bunch of better options there. Just trying to comprehend.

    Thanks DT.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Jolt,

      Thanks for reading.

      If it were roto I would’ve gone a different direction and grabbed some speed with pick 13. This was more about the format and scoring. Just from memory, using Rudy’s projections, JD would finish as the #6 player or something around that area.

      • baby seal says:
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        Rudy and all the stat guys are head-over-heals for JD this year. But that format is all about the dongs, and his AVG + run production gives a high floor, too

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Interesting thought on the first half guys though. That hadn’t crossed my mind, you might be on to something there.

      • baby seal says:
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        Be careful… 1H stats include cold weather…

        Get all the young Dominican studs like Soto and Robles! I remember a young Donk once said on a podcast that he thought Soto would heat up when the summer came around…
        smart Donk.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Also a good point, baby seal! I still don’t know what to make of this shortened season. Maybe by June I’ll have more clarity.

          • Jolt In Flow says:
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            Very much appreciated from both of you. I have to adjust my personal list with what you both provided.

            Always thought JD was a one-trick pony. I remember him in Houston and how I thought he would fizzle out based on what I saw.

            Thanks for the interpretation DT.

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