The Blue Jays are exciting my nethers, or maybe that’s the extra bleach I’ve been cleaning my underwears in. Yo, you can’t be too careful. Corona coming for me? Bring it on, you pandemic bastard. I’m Kung Fu Fightin’ that shizz with bleach, karate chops and tricks. Excuse me, not tricks, but allusions. Yesterday, I walked my dog Ted while doing The Robot, because the virus doesn’t stick to metal. *points to brain* Smart. Last year Teoscar Hernandez hit 26 homers and stole six bags in only 125 games. Okay, right now, 125 games sounds like the full season plus the playoffs, but you get the picture. Teoscar Hernandez going 26/6 in five months is completely overlooked or nah? Because I’m going with completely overlooked like Julia Garner in The Americans just waiting for her Ruthie role. Can we all bless Ruthie for this line:
Bless her, I demand you! Now I know what it’s like to be a rich old man, because I am crushing on a younger woman. Old was my thing, but Ruthie has changed me. So, what can we expect from Teoscar Hernandez for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?
Please, blog, may I have some more?