SAGNOF: Closer to the Heart

March 10, 2021 | SAGNOF | 9 Comments

And the men who hold high places

Must be the ones who start

To mold a new reality

Closer to the heart

What? You didn’t know that Toronto-based prog rock band Rush were huge roto baseball fans? That song was released in 1977 — the same year the Toronto Blue Jays played their inaugural season. It’s actually about their love for under-appreciated closer Pete Vuckovich who saved 8 games for the blue birds that year. A lot of us have that same love for certain closers and when it comes to draft time we think with our hearts rather than our heads.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Catchers To Target, 2021 Fantasy Baseball

March 10, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 155 Comments

by: Grey

Here, friend, are some catchers that I will be targeting at my 2021 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone. I’m not going to get into the strategy of punting catchers. Been there, half-drunkenly wrote that during the Ottoman Empire. Applies to oranges, it still applies. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2021 projections and blurbs I wrote for them. This is a (legal-in-most-countries) supplement to the top 20 catchers of 2021 fantasy baseball. Now, guys and five girl readers, I am not saying avoid catchers like Yasmani Grandal if they fall, but, to get on this list, a catcher needs to be drafted later than 200 overall, and, to preemptively answer at least seven comments, yes, I will go around the entire infield, outfield and pitchers to target very late. Anyway, here’s some catchers to target for 2021 fantasy baseball:

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The Debut of RazzSlam of the Year Two Thousand Twenty-One of the Common Era, a personal journal

March 9, 2021 | RazzSlam | 10 Comments

by: Steve Paulo

THE INVITATION CAME ON 8 FEBRUARY in a gilded envelope, printed with the finest inks of the Far East, on the heaviest parchment I’d ever felt. One knew, simply by sight, that the contents of the envelope were destined to change the life of the man– or woman– to whom it was addressed.

It came from a man named “Donkey Teeth”… I assume this is a man, as sure as I am that the post was not, in fact, sent by the sentient protrusions from the alveolar of an ass. This Mr. D. Teeth was inviting all recipients of the missive to something called a RazzSlam.

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Fantasy Baseball Podcast: Top 100 Outfielders For 2021 Fantasy Baseball

March 9, 2021 | All Podcasts | 4 Comments

by: Geoff

Part two of our dramatic two part series on the Top 100 Outfielders for 2021 Fantasy Baseball comes to it’s conclusion this week. Will Grey join the two great kingdoms into one fabulous list? Will we spend 40 minutes discussing Jarred Kelenic? Will we talk about Dylan Carlson? Will the name DJ Stewart be uttered? I’m not telling you’re just going to have to listen as Grey and I drop a gem on em’ like P-Dolo and Havoc. It’s the latest episode of the Razzball Baseball Podcast!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Deep Thoughts: Jake’s New Home Tonight Is Easie Money

March 9, 2021 | Deep Thoughts |

by: Coolwhip

I was sitting at my desk when a great sadness washed over me. I could feel it in the air. It was like a million voices suddenly cried out and were then silenced by roster regret. It was the Frambering. Framber’s glove got fingered and said finger got smashed by a Lindor grounder. And now, Framber has us scrambled and scrambling to find a replacement for his potential production. Well, Houston did the same, and lucky for them (and now us) instead of leaving your rotation scrambled you get to order it Odorizzi. Jake Odorizzi to be exact. The Astros signed him to a 2-year $30M deal with a 3rd-year option. Good things do come to those who wait, says Jake’s agent.

Now I’m sure you are asking yourself, didn’t Coolwhip write about this guy before? Yes, I did. Early in the 2019 season, I broke down the good start of the season Jake was having HERE and projected him to be a top 30 pitcher by year’s end. And he was. I asked Grey if I could just repost the article when he cackled in my face and said no, followed by more cackling. Okayyyyy, Jake the Snake sequel here we come.

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Rolling In The Deep: A Look At Cheap Third Basemen

March 9, 2021 | Rolling In The Deep | 20 Comments

by: Laura Holt

Greetings readers, I want to start today by thanking and wishing good luck to all of the participants who drafted with me in my RCL Sunday night. I was kept on my toes throughout the draft, as everyone was clearly prepared and ready to apply all they’ve learned at Razzball and in life to conquer what was (lovingly, I’m sure) referred to in our chat as the “Take Down Laura Holt League.” To those of you who have RCL drafts upcoming and are new to the format, you’ll soon learn what the rest of us have discovered: dollar for dollar (yes, I know most of the leagues are free) it’s about the most fun and challenging format (no) money can buy.

Now, to the business at hand: it’s time to continue our way around the diamond to the hot corner, where we’ll take a look at some late-round third basemen that may be of particular interest to those of us in NL-only, AL-only, and other deep leagues. This week, we’ll keep a true deep-league vibe going by looking only at guys who are currently outside the top 20 third basemen being selected, according to current NFBC ADP.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Gerrit Cole, 2021 Fantasy Schmohawk

March 9, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated | 191 Comments

by: Grey

That’s a text message from Gerrit Cole to Brian “Bubba” Hawkins trying to procure some spin-inducing substance. That text message is being used in a court filing against the MLB, as Bubba claims he’s being used as a scapegoat. There’s only so many institutions that could be under fire from someone named Bubba. In the last ten years, the name Bubba only shows up three times in the U.S. court system: Bubba vs. Lowe’s for faulty outdoor furniture; Bubba vs. Pfizer as a manufacturer and distributor of trucker speed; Bubba vs. Bubblicious gum for not being at all Bubba-approved. That last case got thrown out. Okay, I kid, about the latter of this nonsense, but that really is a text from Gerrit Cole and he’s named in Bubba Hawkins’s court filing. Max Scherzer, Justin Verlander, and just about every Angels’ pitcher of the last decade-plus are also named. It’s not just a Gerrit Cole issue. It’s a league issue.

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Top 100 Starting Pitchers for 2021: Spring Training Edition

March 8, 2021 | Top 100 Starting Pitchers | 62 Comments

by: everywhereblair

What is up everybody? It’s March, which means March Grey has been burrowing out from his hibernation hole (which is what he calls his pantry) and starting to educate you all about your fantasy baseball teams. DRAFT THIS, NOT THAT! The beautiful spring chirp of the March Grey bird resounds through the forest of fantasy baseballers staring at their Fantrax apps. Just as you’re about to draft Dinelson Lamet in the first round, March Grey swoops in and caws, DRAFT CHRIS PADDACK IN THE TENTH! He then lands in the nearest tree and swigs from an abandoned boba container that may or may not have been sitting there all winter serving as a transient’s chaw spittoon. Now, while Grey’s spending the rest of the week sanitizing his mouth with detergent, I’m coming in hot to give you my takes on starting pitchers for your 2021 fantasy baseball season!

Let’s find that free use graphic I made of Zack Greinke in his Royal Blues!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Patreon Podcast: Baby Gets First Beer Bong

March 8, 2021 | All Podcasts | 8 Comments

by: Donkey Teeth

Razzball Patreon members receive our weekly podcast where Grey cackles about the funniest news stories we’ve found over the past week, plus you get that warm fuzzy feeling of supporting your favorite fantasy sports site in all the land.

It’s your favorite hour of the week! I Can’t Believe It’s Not Not News is back again with all the Billy Hurley jokes and Grey Albright cackles you can handle. First we report on a space hotel set to open in 2021 and then Billy heads to Seattle to cover the story of a father feeding his child using a beer bong. Later we get the scoop on a surgeon who attended virtual traffic court from the operating room and newly discovered glow in the dark sharks. And Grey pitches his greatest Shark Tank idea yet!

Tune in now for all the laughs and Albright cackles you can handle by signing up for the exclusive Razzball Patreon Club for only $5/month, or upgrade to receive the weekly podcast plus early access to all of Grey’s 2021 fantasy baseball buy/sell posts for just $13/month!

Watch a baby with a beer bong teaser video here:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Top 25 First Basemen for 2021 Fantasy Baseball

March 8, 2021 | Rest of Season Rankings, Top 25 First Basemen | 6 Comments

by: Richardo

We’re officially in the middle of one of my favorite seasons. Oh god no, not winter – “best shape of their career” season. Pretty soon we’ll be getting reports of Vlad Guerrero, Jr.’s monster physique (pics or it didn’t happen) and how Rowdy Tellez no longer looks like Samwell Tarly from GOT. Speaking of first basemen, hi my name is Richardo and I’ll be handling the rest of season rankings for first base this year. Every other week, we’ll drop a new top 25 for ROS and talk about the movers. But in order to talk about the movers, we have to first establish the top 25 to start the year. Let’s check out our initial list.

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Fantasy Baseball Podcast: It’s RazzSlam Day!

March 8, 2021 | All Podcasts, RazzSlam |

by: B_Don

B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back at the start of the RazzSlam to kick off the contest. We give you a rundown of the league format and the points scoring. Then, we talk about our draft strategy and who we might be targeting in the first few rounds. Hopefully our league mates don’t listen to this, but such is the risk one takes in the world of fantasy baseball drafting.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

LABR 12-Team, NL-Only Draft Recap: I’m The My Plan Guy

March 8, 2021 | Our Leagues | 207 Comments

by: Grey

Never in the history of fantasy baseball posts has anyone successfully pulled off what I’m about to do. I’m going to write out my pre-draft plan here for everyone to see, and leave it unchanged even if the plan doesn’t come together. I’m the world where Mike Nesmith’s mother never invents Liquid Paper. Yo, keyboard, take away my delete and backspace buttons, don’t need ’em. Have you heard of the My Pillow guy? Well, I’m the My Plan guy. Okay, here goes, prepare your eyeballs. My Plan: Buy top hitters, and cheap pitchers. Use Rudy’s War Room (free with a Razzball Tools subscription). Change underwear in case something happens. Surprise! This is the same plan as I’ve used just about every year in NL and AL-Only leagues. I really need to start changing my underwear more than just prior to drafts. I go for balance in 12-team mixed leagues. (If you want one of those, play against me and hundreds others for prizes –> Razzball Commenter Leagues.) In these mono-leagues, I go for a few big bats, and usually around a 78/22-ish split. Doesn’t always work out; let’s be honest, sometimes I barely spend 18% on pitchers. If you’re wondering why I don’t spend on pitchers, welcome to the site, may I suggest starting at top 20 starters for 2021 fantasy baseball? Anyway, here’s my LABR 12-team, NL-Only draft recap:

Psyche! Before going into the LABR draft recap, Donkey asked that I notify people that RazzSlam qualifier leagues are now signing up. Didn’t get into the RazzSlam and wanna correct that for next year? Top 10 finishers will secure a spot for 2022. Slow drafts (4-hour pick clock) will begin 30-minutes after your league fills. It’s Best Ball, so after you draft, you don’t need to change your lineup. Just slowly rub your hands together and smile evilly. Here’s the RazzSlam rules if you’re a completist. Anyway II, the LABR recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?