Throughout this preseason, I have dived deep into the trash bin, trying to unearth some diamands in the…smelly trash. Ewwwww. P. U. The things I do for y’all. Before I continue, I have to give a shoutout to Laura, for she is the deep league specialist, and I recommend that you all read her work if you don’t already. Now, I like to have some semblance of balance in my life, so I’m going to flip my world upside down, don the hater cap, and throw internet tomatoes on a player who I feel has a chance to disappoint this season. I got no shame in my game, as I’m playing don’t pass at the table if I sense a disturbance in the Force. The stink eye I get from the others ain’t no thing. So, I’m prepared for the internet tomatoes that will more than likely be thrown my way, but such is the life of a hater.
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Without a doubt, the greatest movie ever made is Martin Scorsese’s Gangs of New York. One of my favorite scenes is when Jenny (Cameron Diaz) ventures into the rich part of down to rob the affluent blind while dressed as a maid — a practice referred to as being a “turtle dove” in the film. As she pickpockets a flirtatious man’s wallet before getting off at her stop, he begins to get forward with her, asking if he may speak but trying to not be too ambitious with his remarks.
JENNY: I might like, sir. But I can’t say now.
MAN: Why?
JENNY: Because this is my stop.
MAN: May I walk with you a little, then?
JENNY (firmly): That — would be too bold.
At that point, Jenny exits and proceeds to rob countless New York City mansions blind. Absolutely classic. Now, think of today’s post the same way. We are going to be seriously bold, but we won’t be breaking bread with strangers. This is our Opening Day. Our chance to be the turtle dove and rob our leagues like none other. Be daring, but on your own accord. As long as no one recognizes you or gets wind of your plan, we’re in the clear. Luckily, the five players we’ll break down with bold predictions are former college starts turned MLB youngsters still waiting to make a name for themselves in The Show. Many are sleeping on them, but not us. Not today.
Please, blog, may I have some more?After months of waiting, months of draft prep, many, many drafts, it is finally time for baseball. We got a brief taste with the World Baseball Classic but now our fantasy teams come front and center. You could sit down at 10AM (PST) and not leave the couch until 10PM, filling your entire day with non-stop baseball. If that doesn’t excite you then well, I’m not really sure what to tell you. This is the moment you’ve all been training for. Look, I get it, draft season is great and super exciting but now the real fun begins, There’s an old fantasy adage that you don’t win your league at the draft and I am a firm believer in that. The waiver wire is a key component of the quest for a title. So who should you be eyeballing as the season kicks off?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Welcome to the start of the 2023 DFS baseball season here at Razzball. I’m new ‘round these parts, and you can call me Sheep. Much easier to remember than being the 50th Matt you know who does fantasy writing. I’ll be your guide on Thursdays, so it’s my job to look at this long day […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Donkey Teeth and I drafted this past weekend in Vegas for the NFBC Main Event, and we had one plan — no plans! But, see, Donkey Teeth heard no “pants.” Well, that aside, we were back at it after our, I wanna say, 10th place finish last year. I blocked it out after the 2nd month of rostering Jose Berrios. Hey, Jose, buy me a drink first before screwing me! Never the hoo! Donkey and I never let a little thing like “doing well” stopping us from plopping down seventeen-hundred smackeroos and taking on the best the industry has to offer. Here we are five minutes after sitting down and realizing we the only ones making this a Draftquiri Happy Hour.
Locked and loaded for the @nfbc main event and a bachelorette party pic.twitter.com/Xk2eBeTSdh
— Razzball (@Razzball) March 25, 2023
For those unfamiliar, it’s a 15-team, two-catcher, 5×5, 30-round league. There’s an overall prize of a lot of money and a big-but-slightly-smaller league prize, but let’s win the league first before worrying about that. There’s a $1000 FAAB for waivers in-season, and no pre-draft hypnotism is allowed, which makes me buying that old-timey watch with a long chain fob sorta pointless, but oh well. Anyway, here’s our NFBC Main Event draft recap:
Psyche! Just wanted to announce the Streamonator and Hittertron are running with all of the first weekend projections. LFG100! Anyway II, the draft recap:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Smell that? No, not the Hot Pocket you have turned to lava in the microwave, the smell of taeks so hot they are burning a hole in your phone screen. It’s bold prediction szn and we here at Razzball are getting in on the action. For an example of hawt our taeks are, let’s take […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?‘‘Twas the night before baseball,
and all through the league,
the pitchers were feeling forearm fatigue.
Opening week really is the most wonderful time of the baseball year.
If you can find just the right angle, watching roster decisions trickle in feels like a magic eye picture slowly morphing into focus.
On the other hand, that leads to days of fuzzy weirdness, like the Rockies demoting Michael Toglia or the Orioles leaving Grayson Rodriguez in the minors. Christopher Morel is not in the major leagues anymore? Did I really see that?
Please, blog, may I have some more?It seems like this is bold predictions week here at Razzball. My first bold prediction is that using the Razzball tools will help you win. Just sign up already, okay? Bold Predictions: Andrew Vaughn hits .290 with 40 HR: Has anyone had a worse setup than Vaughn in the majors? Top pick, missed 2020, then […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Happy Wednesday, Razzball faithful! Are you excited for the season? I can say without a doubt that your old pal MarmosDad definitely is! I’ve officially drafted 9 out of my 10 leagues so far. Hopefully, you’ve been able to use my list of SAGNOF targets to move […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Triston McKenzie had some good news the other day. He learned he has a muscle. The bad news he received concurrently was he strained it. His teres major muscle in his shoulder is strained and he will miss up to eight weeks. A teres major muscle sounds like a muscle conductors use to wave their […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Patrick Sandoval arrived back at camp this last week looking as confident as ever. Something was different. Returning from the WBC in which he made 2 strong starts for Team Mexico, he’s primed to take another step forward this season. He successfully held the 2 finalists teams, USA and Japan, to only 1 run collectively […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Last night 11 Razzball writers and Cram It gathered to show their RCL prowess in a season-long battle akin to playing a game of speed chess every day for around 180 days straight. The Razzball Commenter Leagues are a different beast, one of the longest grinds of the fantasy baseball season and not for the […]
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