Montgomery, Alabuyma

We all know about DrivelineAnon, the conspiracy theory that the Dodgers pay scouts to give their prospects better grades so they can trade them for better pieces. Well, as I was perusing 4Chan for conspiracy theories, I found one that might be applicable here. It’s like QAnon, but it’s ReinsdorfAnon. It’s where White Sox prospects do terrible on the White Sox, because they’re told they’re not going to get paid either way, but they pick up their hitting around the deadline to try to get traded away. This might’ve been what was going on with Colson Montgomery. He had a 33% strikeout rate in Triple-A, while hitting .215, with little power and speed. So, why did he get called up and suddenly start hitting? The 2nd half of the theory! White Sox major leaguers told him there’s one way out of this organization and that’s by hitting, so he started. When Colson was first called up, Luis Robert Jr. sat him down and was overheard saying, “I’m getting out here and so can you! Look at Andrew Vaughn!” Sadly, Luis Robert Jr. didn’t realize he was stuck in purgatory and would never escape the White Sox. Hopefully, Colson still has hope for an offseason trade. So, Colson Montgomery cut his strikeouts in the majors, something that is odd, but is happening, and he’s hitting for power, and has been near the top of the 7-day Player Rater. Don’t love White Sox for counting stats, but there’s no reason Montgomery shouldn’t be rostered in more leagues. Unless you don’t believe in ReinsdorfAnon. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

PSYCHE! This post was released a week early for Patreon members. It will be released all year early for Patreons, so if people are getting a jump on you, it’s because they paid the $10. Anyway, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:

BUY

Victor Caratini – Astros Comatose Fan wakes after three months, “Yordan’s been out all year and Caratini is our three-hole hitter? Ugh, well, I guess the run of playoff appearances had to end at some point.” Yo, ACF, I got good news for you!

Andrew Vaughn – Sorry, you don’t want to believe in ReinsdorfAnon but it’s all around you! Wake up and take off the tin foil hat! Also, just gave you an Andrew Vaughn fantasy.

Tyler Locklear – Here’s what I said the other day, “Crazy, Locklear traded on the same day the Pirates got Richie Sambora Satura. Locklear went 19/18/.316 with a 21.9% K% in Triple-A and I’m unsure why he was in the minors, but he shouldn’t be anymore. Seems like a NL-Only grab for now, and will monocle for mixed leagues.” And that’s me quoting me!

Angel Martinez – He’s been hitting at the top of the order and I think there might be more here. Though, there is a chance he saw the over/under for him getting on base and banged the under.

Chase Meidroth – ReinsdorfAnon!

Ronny Mauricio – Does anyone know how well he’s doing in barely five weeks? They do if they’ve looked at his stats!

Alex Freeland – Here’s what I said the other day, “Called up by the Dodgers. Stop me if you’ve heard this before: Dodgers’ top–Okay, stopped. We’re to believe every Dodgers’ prospect is excellent or the Dodgers are paying scouts money under the table to say their prospects are great, so they could trade them. This is the one conspiracy theory I believe. This is my Qanon. Call it DrivelineAnon. In Triple-A, Freeland went 12/17/.253 with a 22.1% strikeout rate, which makes me think he’s gonna hit .210 with some speed and power that won’t translate to the majors. But he’s considered a top prospect!” And that’s me quoting another Anon!

Matt Shaw – Whispering, barely above a mutter, “Matt Shaw 2026 fantasy sleeper.”

Mark Vientos – Still have lots of love for Vientos, and that comes and goes by the day. It could be Wednesday and I love him, then it’s Friday and I hate him. And love him again on Saturday.

Josh Jung – Don’t think he’s totally without some possibility of becoming what people once thought he could be, but it is very far from that and right now, he’s at best a hot schmotato.

Warming Bernabel – Just gave you my Warming Bernabel fantasy. It was written while turning on the hot plate.

Ramon Laureano – Some of the guys in this post have been hot for a few days and some for a week or so, but Laureano should’ve been rostered all year. On the season-long Player Rater you find him surrounded by players who are all rostered in 100% of leagues, while he’s not. The new park might hurt, but the better lineup should help. Likely a neutral move to the Padres, which means Laureano is still solid.

Coby Mayo – Looks like the O’s have all been hot. Only took them until August. Well done! O’s should face the Braves in the All-Disappointment World Series. Imagine Tyler O’Neill facing Raisel Iglesias with the game on the line? Chills. Colton Cowser could also be here, and would you look at that!

Tyler O’Neill – All at once the entire fantasy community decided to give up on him. In the past, O’Neill would hit a few homers and people would get jolted alive with their love for him. Now, people look at him and see a guy just a few days from his next injury, and I get it. It’s kinda sad how terrible he’s become. He could’ve been a superstar, truly believe that, but alas.

Nathan Lukes – He’s a Quad-A player, at best, but makes a lot of contact with great plate discipline, and has been hitting leadoff (vs. righties) for the Jays, who have been scoring runs, so Lukes isn’t without any value.

Jakob Marsee – Called up by the Marlins and he should play vs. righties, at least. In Triple-A, he went 14/47/.246 in 98 games, which is absurd. The year before he stole 51 bags and hit .200. He hit .188 in Double-A! Ha! Oh, and that’s with around a 15% walk rate, but only a 19% K%! But wait! It gets goofier! He hits everything in the air! This guy should be studied in a lab. Marsee basically never swings or swings and makes some of the worst contact you’ve ever seen with a fly ball that goes roughly 175 feet. Likely an NL-Only play, but I guess if you’re desperate for speed, go for it.

Andrew Benintendi – He started hitting well right before the trade deadline and you want to ostrich your head into the sand and not see ReinsdorfAnon. Shame on you!

Ben Brown – This is a Streamonator call, but one word of caution. With trade deadline, rotations could change after this posts. Put caution tape around the Streamonator, which makes sense since it’s on the phone with the police.

Chase Burns – This is also a Streamonator call, but see above. “I’d like to report a robbery. Someone stole my off switch and I’m overheating!”

Hunter Gaddis – Or Cade Smith. Or Riley O’Brien and JoJo Romero. Or Jose Ferrer! Yes, don’t forget about Jose Ferrer! Then there’s Phil Maton and Robert Garcia or Jack Perkins and Newcomb–Actually, forget Newcomb. Then there’s Yennier Cano and Keegan Akin. But wait! Marching down the commencement aisle is…oh my God! Corbin Martin graduates! Corbin Martin graduates! Then you have Randy Rodriguez and Ryan Walker. But don’t forget Blake Treinen and Alex Vesia! Hold on! Before you leave, there’s Cole Sands…[voice starting to fade into the distance]….you can’t forget Cole Sands! My best advice right now is if you can hold tight until the smoke settles and a guy gets a save or three. There’s also the Bullpen Chart to help.

SELL

Anyone, Everyone or No One – Next week is most league trade deadlines, so this is not you going and looking at waivers for a player named Anyone, Everyone or No One. There’s no tilde on Anyone. You’re not misspelling it. This Sell is you preparing to make daddy proud by winning a freakin’ league! So, trade whomever for whatever if it helps your team. This is your last chance for trades! You have nothing stopping you, except your subconscious fear of winning. And that’s subconscious so it doesn’t even really count! You can’t blame that shizz! If trading Oneil Cruz for two closers helps your team win this year? Then trade Oneil Cruz even if he’s, like, my favorite player and it hurts me soul, Lupe Fiasco. If trading Ohtani for a pitcher helps you win, then trade the best player who might’ve ever fantasy’d. Go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and analyze some trades. Win your leagues, young prematurely balding men and the women that love them!