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At 22 years old, Kyle Tucker is nearly a 30/30 guy in Triple-A. There’s some other problems with baseball, but this should be the number one thing that is fixed. This is just about everything that’s wrong with baseball. No one should go 30/30 in the minor leagues. The last player to do that (who I remember) was Joc Pederson in 2014. The reason why it’s so rare and should be extinct? If you’re going 30/30 in the minor leagues, you should be in the major leagues! I don’t have a solution. I’m a problem spotter, not a problem solver. How many titles you want me to hold? Imagine another sport where one of your best players was artificially held down in an instructional league for a year or more. You can’t and it’s not a failure of imagination. Though, still fantasizing about an 18-year-old Alyssa Milano could lead one to that conclusion. The Astros have said Tucker will be called up in September. Will he play? Not 100% sure, but I’d guess he will most days because the Astros have room to play him over Reddick and will clinch a playoff berth. Now is the time to stash him in all leagues. Yes, the Astros will be going from a Reddick to a Tucker like Jame Gumb. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Tom Murphy – I nearly added in six more catchers with Austin Nola, John Hicks, Carson Kelly, Will Smith, Francisco Mejia and James McCann, but seven catchers is just silly. Who would list that many catchers to buy in separate blurbs? A damn fool! A brilliant tactician would list them all in one blurb.
Ryan McMahon – The Rockies go back home next week and like an unfaithful drunk, I want all my batty calls bathed in Coors.
Matt Adams – I like Wilmer Flores — dude walks around like he’s always watching Bambi’s mom die — but he’s owned in 15% of ESPN leagues and Adams is owned in under 2%? Seriously, I need to use different ownership numbers next year. Klara Bell is fudging the numbers like he’s point shaving at Boston College.
Jon Berti – Agree 100% with frequent commenter, Cram It, when he said, “Jon Berti is a poor man’s Whit Merrifield. Which is to say, the Marlins’ Whit Merrifield.”
Nick Solak – Here’s what I said the other day, “(Solak) called up by the Rangers for the IL’d Nomar Mazara. Solak sounds like an Eastern European slur or a drunk Telly Salavas, which might be the same thing. He used to steal bases in the minors, and was once compared to Scott Kingery on this site. This year’s minor league numbers (27 HRs, 5 SBs) look like more power than Kingery, but: juiced balls.” And that’s me quoting me!
Kyle Seager – Has caused some consternation in the Seager household in the last week-plus. Mom said Kyle could have the bottom bunk and Corey was like, “Maaaaaaa!” and then their dad stepped in and said, “Against the wind,” while farting on Corey’s leg.
J.D. Davis – He’s earned his nickname this year, which is good, because otherwise he’d be going by Jonathan Davis Davis and causing confusion in echo-y caves everywhere. (Seriously, the D in his name stands for Davis. You can google it if you don’t believe me, but what does that say about our relationship we’ve built as over-the-internet friends?)
Nick Ahmed – August has been great for Nicks: Ahmed, Castellanos, the New York Knicks because they haven’t had to play. Big time stuff from all three. Of course, The Greek God of Hard Contact is leading the way for Nicks, but I’d say Ahmed is edging out the Knicks for 2nd place.
Jake Fraley – Here’s what I said the other day, “Called up to replace Sunday Santana. Fraley had 19 HRs and 22 SBs and a .298 average in the minors this year to which I say, O Fraley? I’ve been burned many times in the past thinking: Of course a team will give a guy they just called up at-bats, why wouldn’t they? Only for them to not give Mr. So-and-so at-bats. I tried to grab Fraley in one deeper mixed league, but he was gone already and didn’t bother with him in one shallower mixed league. For what it’s Werth, the Prospectonator gives him solid projections.” And that’s me quoting me!
Kevin Pillar – If you need a hot hitter, well, as many people have said to a Pillar, “Don’t just stand there!”
Mike Yastrzemski – Reevaluating life choices that have brought me to a place where I’m recommending multiple Giants hitters. *thinking about how I said in Bio 101, “You can’t spell sexy without XY!”* You know what, I don’t want to reevaluate life choices.
Willie Calhoun – Could be the best pick up in this whole post, but I might be bias because I dropped him when he wasn’t playing for one day, then Mazara went down with an injury and I screwed myself out of Calhoun. Yes, I get bias against myself. That’s how it is when you got some Jew in you.
Dinelson Lamet – He could just be a straight Buy, but Lamet is also a Streamonator call, like the call it makes to Netflix headquarters.
Zach Eflin – Another Streamonator call for the weekend. “But I consider them to be my actual Friends, so don’t I have a say in whether you remove them from your streaming service?”
Jairo Diaz – This week’s SAGNOF is hilarious. Trying to get saves from these guys is like you stick your head out the window of a fast-moving car and try to spit directly in front of you. If this shizz doesn’t fly right back in your face, you’re a magician.
Daniel Hudson – I grabbed him in one league, but it could be Hunter Strickland. Maybe it’ll be neither of them and I’ll be fooled again by Da-Hu.
Mark Melancon – Bochy must be so happy to see Melancon getting saves in Atlanta. Happy to see, I mean, if he’s able to lift his giant head. “When I retire, I plan on going to matinees and ruining the enjoyment of everyone behind me.” That’s Bruce Bochy talking about his retirement plans.
SELL
Rhys Hoskins – This is a wholehearted bummer. This is like Aaron Bummer got together with his whole Bummer family for a Xmas card with the inscription, “Season’s Greetings from The Bummers.” This is like the entire Bummer family stood in front of their house for a picture and instead of saying, “Cheese,” they said, “Bummer.” This is like–Well, you get the point. Hoskins as a drop sucks. I hate it. I’m going to like Hoskins again next year, and, if this is a keeper, you can look at the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer, but he’s likely a hold there, since his value is so low. But if you’re in a redraft league, you can likely drop Hoskins. Bummer.
