Hmm… Let’s see, where does the news that Josh Hamilton is headed to the DL go on the Hype Cycle? Oh, wait! I know! “Falls Back to Earth, Hits the DL.” Call me, Greyvoyant! Hamilton may be headed to the DL this Thursday if he’s still in pain. This is obviously bad news for Hamilton owners. As we learned from Dylan McKay’s battle with drugs on 90210, addicts can’t take pain killers. So Hamilton is in “extreme pain” and needs to let it subside on its own. I don’t think he’ll be out much longer than two weeks, but I’m no doctor (I am psychic though). If Hamilton’s rib becomes a nagging type injury that bothers him for a few months, this could turn into a Def-Con 4 situation and his owners may have to jump into an Andromeda Strain decontamination shower. For those out there with alligator blood, this may be your only opportunity to Buy Low on Hamilton. Just remember his owners were crying in their soup last night, don’t blow on it for them. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Edwin Encarnacion – Looks like his chip on his shoulder has moved to his wrist as he heads to the DL. I liked Edwin going into the year, and was bummed to see him do nada, nada, not a damn thing this season. At least the wrist injury explains what was going on with him.
Adam Rosales – NL-Only owners could take a flier on the Reds call-up, Rosales. There’s no indication Baker will play him at all. If he does, he has some pop. He was batting .431 with 4 HRs through 17 games at Triple-A. Not really mixed league material yet, unless your league is very deep.
Joel Hanrahan – Removed from the closer role. Actually, he kinda removed himself. As I said yesterday, Julian Taveras seems like the best option to me. Kip Wells is said to be in the mix. That mix is in the toilet bowl. Joe Beimel is rumored to get a shot when he comes off the DL. Might be, but if Taveras can hold the job, then Beimel will never see the chance. Hmm… Now that I write that I must say it’s anyone’s job. I would not carry more than one Nats reliever. If you have an open DL spot, no harm no foul with Beimel. I took a chance on Taveras in all of my leagues. If it’s not him, I’m not losing sleep over it. Just watch what you say about Taveras, he will karate kick you in the sternum.
Scott Richmond – 7 IP, 1 ER. Not sure how long Richmond’s mastery continues because his stuff isn’t really that great, but I’ll admit it. I started him last night in a mixed league. Hey, lightning, you wanna get in a bottle for me?
Hideki Matsui – How many pop-ups can a lefty hit to the 2nd baseman?
Edwin Jackson – 6 IP, 0 ER. Hey, whaddya know? He’s still looking good almost a month later. I went over why I liked Edwin Jackson during the first week of the season. If you weren’t here, go back and read it again. If you were here, continue on, I start to pick up speed soon.
Phil Hughes – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks. I told everyone to start him because we were going at this like ripping off a Band-Aid. This was either gonna be the last time he was on anyone’s team, or he was going to be great. Glad he climbed the latter. His hook was complementing the speedball very nicely. Like a well-trained gimp, his leash got longer.
Jose Valverde – To the DL. Told you yesterday it seemed to be headed this way. LaTroy Hawkins gets a few weeks to shake his Cuddle Boy label.
Cole Hamels – Left the game after 4 1/3 scoreless innings with an ankle injury. Can’t a brother get a Win? Hamels really seems cursed this year.
Jo-Jo Reyes – 7 IP, 1 ER. I don’t mind Jo-Jo in deep mixed and NL-Only leagues. Though in most leagues, he’s No-No.
Kyle Lohse – 7 IP, 0 ER. Has an ERA of 1.97 on the season. You don’t want to be there when it starts to climb up to 4.
Dave Bush – 5 IP, 4 ER. Almost threw a no-hitter last time out. So it’s a no-brainer to start him against the Pirates, who batted Brandon Moss as their number three hitter, right? Moss of a .220 average. Nope, Bush took a no-brainer and made you look stupid. (BTW, I always need spellcheck for “brain” and “genius.” I’m a moron.)
Jorge Cantu – Took deep Livan and Sean Green (not the Jewish one) in yesterday’s game. Cantu’s now batting .357 on the season with 5 homers. Mmm… Me love some cheap power.
Chase Utley – Chase ordered up two homers yesterday and three strippers.
Nick Swisher – HR yesterday. Swisher has 5 HRs and is batting .300. At some point the bottom will fall out of the average, but he’s good for 30 home runs. You can put it on the boardddddd… Oh, wait, he’s no longer on the White Sox.
John Danks – 4 IP, 5 ER. Sure, Mike Sweeney’s batting third and A-drain Beltre is at cleanup with a .169 average. Of course, you get hit hard in this game! Makes perfect sense! Danks!
Mike Fontenot – HRs in back-to-back games as he played 3rd for Aramis. He’s still batting .238 and he seems destined to be a three to four games a week guy.
Felix Hernandez – 8 IP, 0 ER, 9 Ks. I almost predicted him for AL Cy Young. That’s how much I believe. If he can stay healthy and get some Win Karma, he could do it. Next start, F-Her ‘n the A’s. (<–provocative!)
Chone Figgins – 2-for-3. I give Figgins a hard time and he’s still batting .246, but he stole two bases last night to give him 9 on the season. That’s a healthy pace. Then again, Fowler has 9 steals and he’s batting .310. Cust kayin’.
Mark Ellis – Calf injury, headed to the DL.
Nomar Garciaparra – Sympathy pains, to the DL.
Ian Stewart – Lookie here, Miss Moneypenny, Ee-yon Shtew-art just played his 6th game at 2nd base and, with the Polish kid benched, 2nd base eligibility could happen verrrrry quickly.
Chad Gaudin – 5 IP, 0 ER. I’m picking him up in all kinds of deep leagues. Hey, he’s in Petco? Why not?
Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 1ER, 1.69 ERA on the season. Begged people to draft him this season, but, let’s be fo’ realz, even I didn’t think he’d start out the year this well. He’s not necessarily a sell because I don’t think people are buying, but he’s not going to finish the year under a 3 ERA, so he will take some lumps at some point. Hopefully, they’re not for a while. I’m still on the Wandwagon, just tempering expectations. (BTW, wouldn’t Tempura Expectations be a great Japanese restaurant name? What? You like yakitori?)
Brad Penny – 2 2/3 IP, 4 ER. And Penny’s usually a pre-All-Star Break pitcher. Hmm… Looks like someone’s missing Alyssa Milano’s nooners.
Ben Zobrist – HR yesterday off the bench. As Zobrist goes, so go the mohels.
Matt LaPorta – Ripping up Triple-A and could replace Ben Francisco, then Francisco goes and hits a HR yesterday. LaPorta will be up soon, but soon’s relative. Ask Stephen Hawking.
Francisco Liriano – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER. He bounced back from that last mugging like Bernie Goetz.
