Jackson’s On Holliday Until May

Jackson Holliday didn’t make the O’s Opening Day roster, because he has to work on how he carries himself around the bases after a home run. A bit too upright! Can’t say I’m surprised. Honestly, I’m not at all. I had him ranked and projected the entire preseason in my shortstop rankings like he wasn’t breaking camp. I’m way more surprised Wyatt Langford is breaking camp (Jackson Chourio isn’t a surprise; he signed a deal). By the way, Ramon Urias, who is currently starting over Holliday, he played in 116 games last year. Guess how many homers and steals he had. Go ahead guess! Ooh, a wee bit high! Urias had four homers and three steals. That’s All-Star stuff! So, Holliday wasn’t updated in the top 500, and Langford was updated a week or so ago, can see that at top 40 outfielders and top 500.

Reassigning Jackson Holliday, or any player who is clearly ready, should be the first thing they fix during the next lockout. No other sport treats their future stars so shabbily and it needs to end

— Razzball (@Razzball) March 22, 2024

Anyway, here’s what else I saw in Spring Training for fantasy baseball:

PSYCHE! The first week’s Buy/Sell is already available for Patreon members. It will be released all year early for Patreons, so if people are getting a jump on you, it’s because they paid the $10. Anyway, the roundup:

Colton Cowser – Will make the O’s team. Ya know what’s kinda funny? Making the O’s out of camp, unlike Holliday or Adley and Gunnar in 2022, is actually a sign they don’t think much of you. So, now Cowser has to prove the O’s wrong for starting him on the Opening Day roster.

Kyle Bradish – Set to return in the early part of the 1st half, according to the O’s. No word if they said it while they were at a well making a wish.

Greg Jones – Traded to the Rockies. Sounds like a harmless move until you realize Jones is a SS/OF and Bud Black is gonna play him in front of the only two fantasy relevant Rockies, Nolan Jones and Ezequiel Tovar.

Nolan Jones – Got popped on the knee-ish. It wasn’t on the knee, it was knee-ish. He’s supposedly fine. Until Bud Black confuses the Joneses and plays Greg over Nolan.

Jonathan Aranda – Has a broken ring finger. Rays are the only team that loses a hitter and instead of allocating a few hundred ABs out to other hitters in projections, those at-bats somehow just disappear into other platoons.

Jordan Montgomery – So, I’ve officially dropped JoMo in my top 500, since Scott Boras thinks he’s worth a few tens of millions more than any teams. This sucks because I’ve drafted him in a lot of leagues. Have no idea when he’s signing, but hopefully it’s soon.

Michael Lorenzen – Signed with the Rangers to be a long man out of the pen, and maybe starter fill-in, and then the Streamonator! It’s all up-to-date, by the by.

$4.5 million?! Oh my god Michael Lorenzen is Ohtani’s bookie https://t.co/VGFmoMLZBO

— Razzball (@Razzball) March 21, 2024

Jordan Wicks – Announced that he made the Cubs’ starting rotation with Javier Assad. In related news, some people think the Cubs will be good. I’m just being a hater! Their hitting will be solid. That pitching though? Well, we’ll see!

Eduardo Rodriguez – Will start the year on the IL, and, because the DBags are saying, “We’re not sure how long he’ll be out,” I’m officially shook. I’m hoping it’s nothing, because it’s way too late to make adjustments in leagues where I drafted him as a safe number three. Safe my fanny! Why am I talking like Vicki Lawrence from Mama’s Family? He was adjusted in the top 500.

J.D. Martinez – Signed with the Mets. What are the Mets doing? Are they rebuilding or going for it? If rebuilding, as their entire offseason would have you believe, then what is Just Dong doing on the Mets? They should’ve been saying — Just Dong want him! Dong as in “don’t,” was that clear? Anyway, Martinez was updated in the top 500. Mark Vientos was sent down, and removed.

Luis Gil – Will be the Yanks’ 5th starter. Got my first share this past weekend at pick 385 overall in a Main Event league (not sure if I’ll have time to recap it before the season starts). So, who is this Luis Gill guy and why are there two Megills and one Gil? What’s with all the -gills? Is the ocean rising and taking us over? A question best left for another day. Gil is a hard-throwing, 97-MPH fastball-having, hilarious-command-that-ain’t-good chucking, limo-driving son-of-a-gun. He’s currently ranked at 1045 on the preseason 12-team rankings, which feels a tad low. About 500 picks low. He’s nothing but a flyer in deeper leagues, and not sure he can throw more than 75 IP, but Gil-dy up!

DJ LeMahieu – Long shot to be ready for Opening Day. Please let Volpe hit leadoff on Opening Day and never look back. Turn that doode into DJ Wally Pipp!

Taijuan Walker – Headed to the IL with shoulder stiffness. Last time he sleeps on a bed of dry ice.

Casey Mize – Made the Opening Day roster. Is Mize something to smize about, as Tyra Banks would ask? I drafted him this weekend too (before Luis Gil), and not-too-long-ago he was thought to be an ace in the making. His velo is up but command in spring has been awful (14/9 K/BB), so in most mixed leagues, I’d wait to see.

Jared Triolo – Named the Pirates’ 2nd baseman. So much for Liover Peguero. Guess you could say he was Liover before he Listarted. High five me right now! Cmon! No? Okay. Ranked Jared Triolo way back, and remained firm with him (that sounds weird). Wish I would’ve grabbed Triolo in more NL-Only leagues. He’s in the 2nd basemen rankings for more.

Nelson Velazquez – Ended up making the team, after appearing on the outs. Roster Resource giveth, and it taketh away. I’m not moving him again my outfield rankings (though, I did in my top 500), but I still like him.

Lars Nootbaar – Will open season on the IL. That was the expectations, so once again the Lars Nootbaar satisfies!

Sonny Gray – Will open the year on the IL. I’m the first person to get the heebee-jeebees about pitcher injuries, but this injury seems fairly benign. Grey stays sunny on Gray!

Shohei Ohtani – MLB launched an investigation into the gambling allegations and supposed theft by his translator, Ippei. There’s more to unpack from this than your wife on a four-day vacation. People confused how a friend could steal $4.5 million from a friend, don’t know rich people, and have never heard one story about theft. You could do a five-second google search and find dozens of examples. Dane Cook’s brother is in jail for stealing $12 million from him, which is the funniest thing about Dane Cook from the last 15 years. Billy Joel’s brother-in-law stole $30 million from him; Beyoncé’s dad famously stole from her. The most tragic plausible scenario no one mentions: Ippei gambled, stealing money from Ohtani as the hole grew deeper, then was caught and begged for forgiveness, and, as he was his only friend, Ohtani forgave Ippei, only to be told by his reps that he couldn’t and had to cut him loose. If Ippei’s taking the fall, and it seems like he is, then I don’t see how Ohtani gets caught or suspended for anything. Yes, even if he gambled, and Ippei was the cover. Also, MLB investigations notoriously take forever, so we might not know anything until next November. What I’m saying is if I were a betting man, I’d put a lot of money, say, $4.5 million on Ohtani playing this whole year.