Alcides Escobar, SAGNOF!  Do you need more?  Um, he’s good at defense.  Alcides Escobar stole 42 bases in 109 games in Triple-A this year.  I dropped Trent Aussie Dog for Escobar in a league, because I need steals more than a flier on power.  Have I mentioned Alcides Escobar steals bases?  Lots.  Of.  Bases.   You know who gets hurt here?  J.J. Hardy.  But enough about that schmohawk.  This is a celebration of the new Brewers shortstop.  Cuz who Hardy are, is dim in the light of Alcides Escobar…  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Carlos Delgado – Strained his oblique while rehabbing his hip.  Here’s what I do when I get about half way through a bowl of pho.  I wrap my napkin around my chopstick and stick it in the bowl.

Erik Bedard – To have exploratory surgery on his shoulder.  I think the Mariners are hoping to find a few prospects in there.

Jordan Zimmermann – Out for a year or two with Tommy John surgery.  The Lone Nats fan, “But you can’t spell Nationals without two N’s!”

Derek Jeter – Took a non-aptly titled breaking ball off his ankle.  X-Rays were negative.  Which is positive.  Weird!

Randy Ruiz – HR for his 2nd straight game.  When I say Randy Ruiz, you say Randy Ruiz…  Actually, don’t say that, it’s just so… I don’t know, repetitive.  (<–That last line sounds like Alton Brown.)

Howie Kendrick – 2-for-3 as he homered.  Frequent commenter, Simply Fred, correctly pointed out last week that Kendrick isn’t hitting much against righties, then he goes and hits a homer against one, but two of the runs were charged to a lefty, so natch!

Carlos Pena – 2 HRs yesterday, now with 31 on the year.  Over/under on homers for the rest of the season, 13.  Which one are you taking?

Pat Burrell – HR yesterday, has 3 in the last week.  Guess his Hooters VIP card finally came in the mail and he can concentrate on hitting homers again.

Rajai Davis – 2-for-5, with a steal yesterday.  Has a bazillion steals in the last month.  Seriously.  He has 22 steals on the year, but a bazillion in the last month.  Look it up.

Adam LaRoche – 2 HRs yesterday.   Sure, but Andy LaRoche has their mother’s love.

Trent Oeltjen – 0-for-5, Oh, no!  It’s The Curse of the Razzball Roundup!  I still own him in one league, but Oeltjen is nothing more than an outfield flier.  Remember, if you need to cut bait for someone hotter, lose The Outback.

Tim Lincecum – 8 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 Ks.  The uze there, but I wanted to mention the kind of year the Dodgers are having.  They patchwork together Jeff Weaver, James McDonald and Insert Middle Reliever Schmohawk for the game and they almost win.  Some years it just feels like a certain team’s year.  This year really feels like the Dodgers.  I’m not a Dodgers fan, but I’ve never lived in a city of a World Series (was in England during the Yankee dynasty), so it would be cool if it’s in LA.  Hey, it’s sharing time with Grey! Okay, random italicized voice, moving on.

Hunter Pence – 2 HRs and 6 RBIs yesterday.  Some would think this day was a good season.  Jose Reyes, for one.

Lance Berkman – 2-for-3 with 2 doubles.  Welcome back, Guy Who Looks Like the Host of Man vs. Food’s Father.

Bud Norris – 5 IP, 4 ER, 6 Ks.  It’s the usual refrain.  He’s young and risky.  He was broken down in detail here.

Shane Victorino – 2-for-5 with a HR yesterday.  The best sign was actually the triple.  Good to see The Hawaiian still airborne.

Pedro Martinez – 5 IP, 3 ER.  I actually should’ve predicted this line, because it’s so obvious.  Five innings, three runs.  That’s the best you’re getting from Pedro.  It’s actually kinda of amazing the pub this start got.  He looked a’ight, really nothing great.  I’d prefer Kevin Correia.

Francisco Liriano – 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks.  I imagine a lot of people were sonavabenched yesterday by Liriano.  I also imagine the next time out you’ll start him and you’ll be cursing his name.

Garrett Jones – 1-for-4 as he teeters on the edge of being dropped.  He has today in Colorado to do something, then it’s off to Carlos Gonzalez (who homered yesterday).

Troy Tulowitzki – 2-for-4, now has a line of 69/22/61/.278/15.  Hanley’s at 71/17/79/.351/22.  Granted, the averages aren’t even close.  But I don’t look at averages (Guess that’s how I ended up with Mark Reynolds on all of my teams).  Now look at the rest of their lines.  They’re that different?  Cust kayin’.

Kevin Youkilis – He got five games to repent (hopefully he doesn’t have to starve himself), so Casey Kotchman and Mike Lowell will both benefit.  Lowell has three homers in the last two games and Casey has one game played.  But if you need cornerman help, there ya go.

John Smoltz – Said he didn’t want to pitch out of the Boston bullpen.  Immediately, Takashi Saito smelled his armpit.

Tommy Hunter – 7 IP, 0 ER.  Hey, you gotta manage your own teams after all, but I wouldn’t pick him up anywhere.

Ricky Nolasco – 3 1/3 IP, 10 ER.  It could’ve been worse.  Between innings he could’ve been having sex with your wife.

Nick Markakis – 3-for-4, 0 RBIs.  I might have to recant my love for Sparkakis.  He has 13 homers and 3 steals.  If Scott Hairston were a piñata and you hit him with a stick, Markakis plus a homer and 7 steals would fall out.

  1. wreckless says:

    As a Nats fan, I’d gladly be offended by your Zimmermann jab, but we’re still getting Straschenegger, right?

    Frankly, I feel bad for the Yawkers and Angelenos who have to fight everyone else for their players. Nick Johnson, Nyjer Morgan, and Mike MacDougal are working out quite well for me right now.

  2. TheGreatVeto says:

    psssst… The Gigantes actually ended up winning Lincecum’s start today. But you’re right, my Giant’s sorry lineup made Weaver/Ronald Mcdonald look good today.

    Funny blurb on Nolasco, it made me feel better about my bloated ERA.

  3. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    @wreckless: Wow! a Nat fan: Thought you guys went the way of the dodo and passenger pigeon. Glad you are still around. As a fan of the woeful Mets, it’s always nice to know that there is still one gawky nerd with broken eye-glasses on the block that I can push around and kick sand in his face.

    Speaking of the Mets, just who is in charge of medical treatment and decisions? Whoever it might be, he really sucks. Really.

    Thank goodness my wife said she has no interest in Nolasto. The way he shizzed on my ERA and WHIP is enough to produce a suicidal depression.

    I looked it up. Rajai doesn’t have a bazillion steals. It is actually approaching gadzillion. I encouraged the Mrs to pick him up and she has been pleased with the results.

    Pedro has been mediocre since he was forsaken by the late Norman De La Rosa for betraying the Bosox. Call it the Curse of the baby. or the midget malediction.

    Grey – thanks again for making my morning a bit more cheerful.
    Who would you prefer the rest of the way: J. Sanchez or B. Anderson?

  4. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    Grey – BTW, the RCL leagues haven’t been updated in over a month. Would it be possible to have an update in the near future, as we head down the stretch? I have visions of you hosting a toney *pinkie to mouth* affair, with AL KOHOLIC giving a toast, final stats formulated by Simply Fred’s Deep Blue computer, and Rudy giving out the awards, with the winner’s face turning bright red, smoke coming out of his ears, as he bites into the first of his lifetime supply of Volcanic Taco Supreme.

  5. david says:

    Grey: Dukes or CarGo, yo?

    I drafted Dukes, dropped his ass, picked him back up. Now if I drop him again, I’d feel like like failed him somehow. I want to nurture him and see him do well. Now that’s some weird isht.

  6. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @david: i did the same thing with dukes. he was one of my deeper sleeper picks this year, hoping for a 20-15 season with about 80 RBIs. i jumped back on him as soon as he had a couple good games after his recall. no way i dump him for CarGo.

    in other news, jimmy rollins is doing his damnedest to make me forget about the 1st half of the season. at his current pace, his numbers should end up similar to his 2006 numbers…if he stays hot over the last 6 weeks like he’s been the past month or so, he could outdo those numbers.

    what jimmy rollins is currently doing is exactly what i’ve been waiting on bj upton to do. i’m getting f’ing sick and tired of waiting bj.

  7. big o says:

    never have been enamored with markakis (nor grady , for that matter) .
    markakis !!!!!
    big deal .
    girls like him .

    latos or norris ?? … long-term keeper league

  8. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @david: also, next nats game i go to (i live in dc), i am buying me a dukes t-shirt jersey. he was sent down when i went earlier this season.

  9. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @big o: latos. bigger arsenal, better control, better home park.

  10. Timsti says:

    Great write up Grey. That nolasco line is classic. Anyone have any clue when Nelly Cruz is coming back? He’s killing me now with Youkilis being suspended I don’t have bench room to pickup a schmohawk replacement.

  11. Schatzi says:

    Would you trade Howard/D.Lee/S.Drew for Holliday and Rollins?

  12. bobbo says:

    Pick two for 2010+: CC, Peavy, King Felix, or Wainwright?

  13. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @bobbo: cc and felix. cc is a horse and will be playing for a contender every year. felix is coming into his own and has the talent to be the best pitcher in baseball.

    peavy seems to throw out a clunker of a season every couple years, plus new league/team/park. wainwright is solid and the type of guy i usually fill my staff with instead of reaching for the super studs, but his ceiling isn’t quite as high as the others i’d say.

  14. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    I spit up my coffee all over my laptop after reading the Nolasco comment. Too funny. The one about Markakis was pretty good too. Never change, Grey.

  15. sean says:

    @grey: flavor of the week gets scooped up pretty quickly in my league. i was able to snag the aussie early, but i missed out on Alcides Escobar in the middle. If I’m jumping off the OutbackWagon, would Carlos Gonzalez be your next choice for an OF flier?

    @all: is BJ Upton a must-start even through this terrible slump? Joe Maddon’s glasses don’t think so. I guess I’ve been holding him too long to give up now, but I just feel like this is the part of the season where you can’t keep holding on to holding on… (man, that sounded like a bad adult contemporary song).

  16. Stephen says:

    @big o: I drafted Sparkakis hoping he would reach last years numbers. I am starting to doubt he will make those. Oh, I would take Latos in a long term keeper league. He has better control and similar K ratings. Plus, he plays in Petco.

    @bobbo: I’ll go with ThePoonTycoon too. CC and Felix

    ARGH, I am Sparkakis’d — a high achiever one year and a total dud the next.

  17. knightown says:

    Streamling for the stretch run. Guy in 2nd is calling collusion cause I got Mariano for Choo. I need saves badly.

    Then, faced w an innings overage and crappy Doumit starting I moved Hansen for McCann and dropped Doumit to pick up Escobar.

    11’s in an 11 teamer for HR/RBI/Runs/wins/Ks.

    Good morning so far?

  18. Dad says:

    @Anyone: Any update on David Wright? I’ve got a trade proposed for him and last I heard he had a strain behind his right knee.

  19. mgeoffriau

    mgeoffriau says:

    Here’s an open question for all commenters (and Grey too, I guess):

    With the trade deadline coming up, and my team 40 points back, who are some prime keepers for next year I might target and overpay for?

    Now, I’m not just talking about good talent…that’s obvious. What I mean is guys who will be drafted MUCH higher than they were this year. For example, Shin Soo Choo — he went in the mid teens in our draft this year, and I would guess he’ll go somewhere in the 5-6-7 rounds next year, a solid 10 round improvement.

    So who has most dramatically improved their value this year (and is likely to maintain or even increase that value over the next 2-3 years)?

  20. Probable Party Starter says:

    Ok to drop one SAGNOF (R. Davis) for Escobar (he plays today) in H2H? What about going forward? Or is the heir to the Hardy lands a one-trick donkey?

  21. airlifting says:

    @grey: “They patchwork together Jeff Weaver, James McDonald and Insert Middle Reliever Schmohawk for the game and they win.”….but….the Dodgers….lost…

  22. bobbo says:

    Let the debate begin: Wright or Longoria a better keeper in a league that’s 6×6 with OBP as the 6th offensive category?

  23. Probable Party Starter says:

    “If Scott Hairston were a piñata…”

    Well played Grey. I think we need “piñata” added to the glossary. Make it happen.

  24. joe says:

    come on grey, give giants credit where credit is due, they won that game and possibly could have had a chance monday if the umps would have gotten off their knees and took a break from blowing the game

  25. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @mgeoffriau: i’d make a big push for justin upton. he’s on the DL now and the dbacks aren’t in a rush to get him back, so maybe his owner is looking make a move. i think upton probably wnet around round 10 this year (??? no idea really but that would be an estimate), but i’d expect him to be probably a top 3 round pick next year in single season formats, and 1st round in keeper leagues.

  26. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @mgeoffriau: quick glance and it seems a lot of people are projecting justin upton to be a mid 2nd round guy, possibly a late 1st rounder next year. and his ADP seems to have been in the low 100s in most leagues.

    so yeah, that’s the guy i’d go for hard.

    might also be able to push for nelso cruz at a cheaper price since he too is banged up, though not DL’ed.

    in your situation and in a keeper league, i think you gotta target guys who are banged up now (though nothing serious long term) who are hurting a contenders team by not playing.

  27. struggler says:

    Pat the Bat just hit waivers. Worth losing Seth Smith or Coghlan for Burrell? H2H more concerned about playoffs then riding hot streaks.

  28. Grey

    Grey says:

    @wreckless: Nick Johnson’s not on the Nats anymore.

    @TheGreatVeto: Put in an *almost*. I’m an idiot. My bad. Good catch.

    @Paulie Allnuts: Thanks! Sanchez Rudy updates the RCLs, he’s been in Eastern Europe. He’ll get them when he gets a second in US soil.

    @david: I know the feeling. You can stay with Dukes there.

    @big o: Latos

    @Schatzi: It’s fair if that’s what you need.

    @Commish Cauda (formerly Mike): Thanks!

    @Probable Party Starter: I’d prefer Davis at UTIL, but Escobar on my team.

    @sean: CarGo, yeah

    @airlifting: I suck, fixed.

    @bobbo: Longoria

    @joe: I goofed, fixed.

    @struggler: Lose Coghlan for Pat.

  29. mgeoffriau

    mgeoffriau says:

    @ThePoonTycoon: Yeah, I thought about Upton….unfortunately, he was dropped and picked up in my league, which changes his keeper eligibility…..he would likely cost me a 3rd or 4th round pick next year. If he’d never been dropped, he would only cost something like an 8th or 9th round pick next year.

  30. Simply Fred

    Simply Fred says:

    @Grey: Touche! Howie had to do something to get that OPS against righties back up to .674!

  31. BSA says:

    Sox lineup – no Drew and no Pedroia plan accordingly.

    Figure it is helpful since Rangers haven’t started yet for locking purposes.

  32. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @mgeoffriau: how was he dropped?!?!

    maybe look into a aaron hill, though i would keep expectations lowered to .280-25-85 for the next few years. edwin jackson? zack grienke? kendry morales? i would say mark reynolds, but i think you’d have to give up the farm to get him away from an owner who will keep him for an absurdly low value next year.

    obviously i don’t know the parameters of your keeper system or league, but those are some of the guys off the top of my head who were late picks or WW pickups who are gonna go much higher next year. maybe even a verlander?

    fwiw, i would still make a move on justin upton if he only cost me a 3rd or 4th round pick. you should still get good value out of that as a keeper.

  33. Rick Dempsey says:

    @Grey: ‘Cause who Hardy are’? ……….What are you a pirate now?

  34. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @mgeoffriau: a couple of more i thought of as soon as i posted: sandoval, kubel, zimmerman.

    might also check out a couple of rookies that maybe you can get as throw ins that i expect wouldn’t cost much to keep (stewart, rasmus, mccutchen, beckham).

  35. Question: The following passage by The (Talented) Mr. Roto is either a) his introduction to his weekly espn column or b) the beginning of Chapter 1 to his forthcoming “Sex and the City”-esque memoir about loneliness and cheeseburgers in Bristol, Connecticut.

    “It had been a good first date. This is a few years ago now, when I lived in L.A., and set-ups are always a mixed bag. But she was smart, fun, cute and could drink me under the table. Don’t be impressed with that last bit — if you can handle half a glass of chardonnay, you can, too — but she earned points for mocking me about it just the right amount.

    On the first date the subject of dogs comes up and I show her a picture of Macy, my 14 pound “girly dog,” that, Lord help me, is the love of my life….”

  36. big o says:

    bourn .
    does he fit the bill ??

  37. @Grey: In a keeper, would you be comfortable dealing Lester, Sandoval, and J. Lopez for Utley and Beckett?

  38. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @VanHammersly: i would do more than consider it, i’d do it for the utley side.

  39. @Grey: Hi, was wondering your opinion on me trading james shields and trevor hoffman for alfonso soriano….all cats are close; ideally, if shields was as an ace or good as wainwright id hold onto him….but hes inconsistent….as is soriano? Do you like the deal? If not, which other hitters would you target with shields and hoffman combo


  40. EricB says:

    I have Aramis Ramirez sitting on my bench because of his bum shoulder. They say he’s coming back this weekend. Should I start him over Hunter Pence, Magglio Ordonez, or Alfonso Soriano or leave him on the bench?
    He was 1-18 in the week prior to him hurting his shoulder, but he was red hot going 21-56 (.375) with 5 HRs in the weeks before that week and after the all-star break. Thoughts?

    As far as needs in the roto standings go, batting average is a big need as I can quickly gain or lose points there. SBs are a big need. HRs I’m kind of stuck in a no man’s land with teams far ahead of me and far below me. Not much to gain or lose in HRs.

  41. @Grey: Other alternative is Hoffman for Carlos Quentin

    Hoffman for CQ or Hoffman and Shields for Alfonso Soriano….

  42. Grey

    Grey says:

    @matthole: I’d take Soriano there.

    @EricB: Start him over Maggs.

  43. Tarasco'sSecretStash says:

    Fransisco Liriano = awesome. Hooray!!!!

  44. EDU says:

    “sonovabenched”! LMAO that’s gold right there im stealing it

  45. Mudhens Madness says:

    Tulo or Braun in long term keeper league?

  46. GTS says:

    There are too many CarGo’s… who is who?

  47. Mike says:

    Does it make sense to start Brett Anderson vs. Chicago tomorrow? I also have Kershaw against Arizona going.

  48. Grey

    Grey says:

    @GTS: Depends on context clues, I guess.

    @Mike: I would.

  49. Grey

    Grey says:


  50. GTS says:

    Feliz is nasty.

  51. Prince says:

    @Grey: Loved the pinata line … I second the call for a glossary entry.

    Peralta has been struggling at 3rd. Alternatives: Beltre, EE, Prado, Coghlan, Fox.

    Catcher: I have Doumit, but am wondering about Montero or Suzuki (the latter of whom has been outperforming both for the last 30 days and the season overall)

  52. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Prince: Prado, I’d stick with Doumit.


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