by: Grey
Jurickson Profar (1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .338) is a top 20 player on the Player Rater. Not the last-7 day rater, the season-long. Yup. With that in mind, in a tie game, Mike Shildt removed Profar from the game for a defensive replacement. He removed his leadoff man. A guy who […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
It was a long, strange journey through the month of April (seven whole starts) for my Mitch Keller preseason sleeper. Whenever a sleeper does bad, I blame woke. He was not awake, but maybe that was asking too much of a sleeper. I tagged him a sleeper, after all. Was I asking too much to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Steven Kwan hit the IL with a hammy injury, which really, really sucks–Hold up! Guards are calling up Kyle Manzardo! Oh, boy, I feel my rap altar ego, B. Fire coming on! Kyle Manzardo?! Aw sookie! That hit tool ain’t bizardo! Headed to the DQ for the Blizzardo! The original DQ was owned by a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Hey, look at this! I got two tickets for the Astros’ Broadway remake of Weekend at Bernie’s! How cool is this? You know I’ll be seated! Later, the lights dim and the curtains go up. On stage, there’s a home plate with an impatient ump and catcher. The ump yells, “This is going to be […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Mets are promoting Christian Scott to the majors this weekend–[presses finger to ear] “Yes, I can hear you? What happened? As soon as they gave him the news he was promoted to the Mets Christian Scott became…bad? How does that happen? I see, so as soon as they said the word ‘Mets,’ he suddenly lost […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I’ll admit to a certain type of satisfaction seeing the Rays suck. We should all be rooting against them for what they’ve done to our great game of baseball. The opener? Sucks! Not promoting prospects? Sucks! Pitching guys so far over their limits they all get hurt? Sucks! Platooning everyone? Sucks! Okay, someone help me […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Brewers called up Tyler Black, who has one of the most badass names. He sounds like Johnny Cash’s son if his son’s first name was Cash and was like, “I’m so badass but I’m changing my name from Cash Cash to Tyler Black, because that’s even more money than Cash Cash.” Guess what? Tyler Black […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
At the Consumer Electronics Show this past year in Vegas, Rockies manager Bud Black was there showcasing his newest sunglasses, they’re called ProspBlockers. Here, I’ll let you hear it directly from the man on his infomercial. “Sick of seeing upside? When you look forward are you sick of ‘looking forward to better things?’ I know […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, Nick Senzel went 2-for-6, 5 RBIs with his 4th and 5th homer. That’s five homers in a week for him! He’s only played ten games all year! Well, of course he has, the 11th game for Senzel is like midnight for Cinderella. ACKSUALLY! Call him Senzella! He’s a Godzilla meets Cinderella monster! Rawr! Watch […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Imagine you’re in a deli waiting for a pastrami on rye. Not just any pastrami on rye, but the best pastrami on rye. Like all delis, you have to take a number. So, you pull a number and it’s number two. Not bad! You only have to wait one person! You can do that! So, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
So, here’s where I give you the grain of salt. The White Sux suck. Their team name is White Sux. No worse sucking than a team named Sux. The heart of their lineup is Mendick/Sheets, which is as exciting as the Orthodox Jewish sex image it elicits. Their team batting average is .189! They are […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Ton of injuries yesterday, huh? You ever go to your waiver wire page in each league and type in the injured player’s name to see who has the injured player? Then when I see someone else has the player I say, “Ooh, too bad,” sarcastically, and when I have the player I say it sincerely. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?