Singing incredibly off-tune, “Oh honey, tramps like us! Baby, we were born to run!” Oh, sorry, I didn’t hear you walk in. I put on The Boss when I want clarity. It’s a Jersey thing, you may or may not understand. Born down in a dead man’s town! That’s Anaheim. A dead man’s town. It’s […]
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Brewers rang the bell of Ding Dong City and said, “Ding Dong, we’re home. We’re now the Mayors here. Hit the bricks. Yes, we have paperwork to prove it! What do we look like? Squatters?” Then the Brewers pulled out yesterday’s box score and showed them their paperwork for the keys to Ding Dong City. […]
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Looks Like Another Perfect Day, Kyle Loves LA
August 7, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 290 Commentsby: Grey
Look at that mountain Look at those trees Look at that Bum over there, man, did that ex-Giants pitcher retire? Trout’s down due to his knees Look at these Schwarbombin’ There ain’t nothing like ’em nowhere Kyle Schwarber‘s 4 hits (we love it) Kyle Schwarber three dongs (we love it) 25th, 26th and 27th homers (we […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? We Have A Framber Alert
August 6, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 247 Commentsby: Grey
I said something earlier this year about how the only pitchers who would throw a no-hitter still had to keep their pitch counts low. Well, sorta, yeah! I mean, I wasn’t totally doing Ding Dong Theater with myself in the backseat of a Ford Siesta, screaming HONK at an empty driver’s seat. I wasn’t standing […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Me And Manaea Go Together Like Babies With Pacifiers
August 5, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 162 Commentsby: Grey
Yesterday, Sean Manaea went 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.30. Also, 10 times in this game I screamed, “Why didn’t I stream him?!” Streamonator sorta likes his next one, and give me all the Manaea streams. Please and mahalo! Know why? Let’s talk recent history. Last two starts […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Arrighetti K-arbonara
August 4, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 228 Commentsby: Grey
It’s been said before, but one way to get us to appreciate the Olympics more is to insert one normal person in each event so we can see how much better the Olympians are than the Average Joe. The Pommel Horse Guy looked pretty good, but take an Average Joe out of the crowd and […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Googling “What will X give you if X Gon Give It To You,” while carrying a treasure map with an X marked on it, while talking to my cousin Jeffrey on speaker because he uses an X to sign all legal documents while he’s on X, the drug and formerly Twitter. This has been my […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? O’s Think, “What The Hell Man, Let’s Call Up Mayo”
August 1, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 186 Commentsby: Grey
Slather me in Mayo and call me tuna fish! Douse me in Hellmann’s and tell me which circle I’m in! Throw a piece of crumpled paper towards the wastebasket and call me Coby! From your mouth to my ears, please tell me I read correctly that the O’s are calling up Coby Mayo. I did? […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Good Gravy, McGreevy Is Groovy
July 31, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 208 Commentsby: Grey
Is it me or can you not hear his last name unless it’s screamed in the sentence, “Someone get me McGreevy!” Meh, maybe it’s me. Yesterday, the Rangers got McGreevied and now they’re McAggrieved. Michael McGreevy went 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks in his MLB debut. Oh, okay, I see, I need […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Tigers Send Jack To Dodgers, Flaherty Ensues
July 30, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 274 Commentsby: Grey
Every trade deadline deal: [team name] got fleeced and [team name] fleeced them! What was it, anyway? [Player name you know] for two [players’ names who you don’t really know]. Wow! How could [GM’s name] be so stupid? We’re saving money and getting better for [insert future year]. I’m as guilty of this as anyone. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Clevelane Thomardians
July 29, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 330 Commentsby: Grey
Guards have Carlos Carrasco, Jhonkensy Noel and now, after their trade yesterday, Lane Thomas. That means they have a Car-Car, JHONK and Lane! You better get out the way! The Guards are changing lanes! Can I be real for a second? I love how competitive the AL Central is. Guards getting guys, Royals getting guys, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yankees fans put on A Tribe Called Quest and sing, “We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…” Of course, the Yankees have great players; they always do. I’m sorry, I’m not a Yankees fan, but it’s just true. This year […]
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