How’s everyone doing without baseball every day? I’m doing great! I walked into a Jersey Mike’s and told them a story about a Mike I knew from Jersey who owed me money, and told them I wouldn’t be paying for my sub. They can take it out of the money Mike owes me. The police, […]
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Top 100 for 2nd Half of 2024 Fantasy Baseball
July 15, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings, Featured | 325 Commentsby: Grey
This is the weirdest 1st half of baseball in memory from a fantasy standpoint that’s not obviously weird. That’s how weird it is! There’s no offense, but also: There’s kinda no great pitchers. Sure, there’s guys like Seth Lugo (you knew I’d be writing that in March), but there’s no, like Pedros or Big Units […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? ASB’n Like We’re At the Food & Wine Festival
July 14, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 152 Commentsby: Grey
Holding hands to eyes, sun blinds me, I turn back and call into the house, “Ma, how long is this break without baseball? Ma?” I realize now that I’m not emerging from my mom’s house. I’m emerging from a bunker. I had been in there longer than I imagined. I pick up a newspaper to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Put A Tiger In Your Tank And Buy Some CoKe
July 12, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 314 Commentsby: Grey
Cool Colt Keith aka Dr. Octagon aka Dr Doom aka Hey That’s Colt Keith Not Colt 45, Stop Trying To Crack Open His Head And Drink Him, Billy Dee aka White Elvis aka Poppa Large aka Dicky Long Docking aka Guy who is top 100 on the 30-day Player Rater aka Guy who has 2B […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Pirates showing the brilliance of their organization with how they handled Paul Skenes (7 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 1 walk, 11 Ks, ERA at 1.90). He needed to stay down in the minors for a month this year to learn how to field bunts. Without that knowledge, he would not be striking out 11 […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The world’s hottest team, the Pittsburgh Pirates, line everyone up with a bat and give them orders. “We have to be aggressive! We need to move forward on the bases just like in real life! Practice it with me now! Move forward!” And they all went off a plank. Rarely do I like to do […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Brew Crew Pirated By Five Dong Silver
July 9, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 273 Commentsby: Grey
“B. Rey and Jack Suuuuuwin, and we’re here to…Hey, can you give us a little more bass? That’s better! Hey, we’re J. Suuuuuwin and B. Rey, and we’re here to say…Hey, this is going to be hit, right? Boom! Bit! Because all we do is get hits. Olestra gives us the shits! Us and Rowdy […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Rockies Find Reds A Hard Abbott To Break
July 8, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 277 Commentsby: Grey
You will struggle to find decent hitting offenses to avoid. I’m saying if you stop streaming against ‘good hitting teams,’ you will struggle to find them. Where are they, you might ask. They’re not in or around the lineup that is managed by Bud Black. His best hitter — easily! — Brenton Doyle is hitting […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Reds Bats Nyet Worth A Ruble Against Skubal
July 7, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 261 Commentsby: Grey
Tarik Skubal (7 IP, 1 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.37) pitched like the ace he is. This is not shortchanging that (which is what I say when I’m about to shortchange someone), but the Reds’ lineup is hilariously awful. They have a .150 hitter hitting 5th, .183 hitter in the […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Shane Baz two weeks ago, Robbie Ray last week, Jeffrey Springs this week. I know what you’re thinking, Kershaw next week, or Senga or Eduardo Rodriguez or some injured pitcher. No, this is it. I don’t have fantasy baseball Florence Nightingale syndrome. The dog days are not over! Wait, that’s Florence & the Machine. Well, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Hope everyone had a great 4th! And, if not, because of a fireworks mishap, I hope you had an appropriately-sized piece of a hot dog nearby to act as a tourniquet. For the 4th of July, I put on water wings, floated in my kiddie pool, got 3rd degree sunburns and drank Rolling Rocks while […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Minnesota Is The Land of 10,001 Lakes And Brooks
July 3, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 192 Commentsby: Grey
Royce Lewis hit the IL with a strained abductor saying, “Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-but! I want to play! My abductor is fine! I’m not a mollusk! I don’t have an abductor! Do I look like a mollusk?” Then Rocco Baldelli squeezed lemon on his head, sprinkled some Maldon salt and slurped him down. Bye, Royce Lewis, he returned […]
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