Baez & Wisdom Treat San Diego To Chicago Style And Go Deep At the Dish

June 1, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 411 Comments

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Hope everyone had an Ian Happy Memorial Day, only without that schmohawk and all the other Cubs. One, which would’ve been nice is Javier Baez (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 12th and 13th homer, hitting .260). At this point, I wouldn’t mind if all my hitters were as stingy at taking walks as Baez. Hey, Juan Soto, study the Baez Technique^TM, which is literally swinging at everything. Embrace the unknown. Baez is like a BASE jumper. Instead, he practices the act of jumping on every pitch no matter where it is thrown. The BAEZ jumper. Also, in yesterday’s game, the Padres weren’t smart enough to avoid Patrick Wisdom (3-for-4 and a double slam (2, 3) and legs (1), hitting .467). I have dreams of streaming a guy who has a game as good as Wisdom, then I wake in the middle of the night, sweating and Cougs turns to me, “What are you dreaming of?” I reply, stoically, “Having Wisdom.” Then she asks, “Is that why you’re sleeping while wearing your monocle?” And I gently remove it and say, “No, I fell asleep looking for an ingrown hair.” If you streamed Wisdom, that’s just smart stuff, and, with Bote and Hoerner out, Wisdom might benefit with more play, like when you’re competing against an 6-year-old in a Math-off. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Land Of The Free And The Home Of The Braves Is No Longer Ozuna’s Anthem

May 31, 2021 | 2021 Fantasy Baseball | 434 Comments

by: Grey

On Saturday, Marcell Ozuna was arrested for domestic violence. Proving this year, he’s a piece of shit on and off the field. There’s no way he plays again this year. Too bad he’ll miss Player’s Nickname weekend, when they could’ve put on his uniform back, “I’m A Garbage Human.” My guess is Ozuna’s suspension goes into next year too; the Braves void his contract, and he’s playing the outfield somewhere with Puig. By ‘somewhere’ I mean not in the MLB, as he rightfully becomes Ozuna non-grata. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Search For The Next Coors Buy Is Never-Brendan Story

May 28, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 395 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

I saw an article in the Denver Post the other day that said something like, “The Rockies should rebuild, and Bud Black is the man to do it.” And I became The Joker. I started tiptoeing down a staircase in bright makeup, twirling and cackling. Then I threw my computer out my window, hit a squirrel, who lawyered up and sued me, taking 51% control of Razzball. Which is why you can now find acorns in the Razzball store. Hope you understand why I have to say nice things about Jeff McNeil, too. Let’s be fair and honest and charitable, Bud Black was a good pitching coach. That the Rockies hired a pitching-first guy in Coors says all you need to know about how dumb that organization is, but rebuild? If Bud could lure Mark Reynolds out of retirement, he would play him over Ryan McMahon, because of his experience. Bud Black is the worst manager in baseball, and, as Quentin Tarantino says, that’s a very impressive feat. I bring this all up, not to crap on Bud, though that’s fun, but to warn you I only half trust him to play Brendan Rodgers. On our Prospectonator, we project every imaginable rookie, based on 162 games played. So, all things being equal, Alex Kirilloff is number one, Ke’Bryan Hayes is number two, but not that far down the list is Brendan Rodgers. He could be even the shallowest of leagues viable. Assuming the Rockies don’t lure back Mark Reynolds. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If You Don’t Manoah, Now You Manoah

May 28, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 272 Comments

by: Grey

Here’s what I said the other day, “Alek Manoah looks to me like Lance Lynn meets a background extra from Uncut Gems. Manoah looks like he will sell you a knockoff Rolex. I will call him a Rolek. His build is why the term big-bodied came to be defined. A Rolek looks like he could throw 200 IP without breaking a sweat, in one game. Everything I’ve seen has impressed me, from his 96 MPH fastball to his gorge 82 MPH slider. Roofies suck, so expectations in check, but you’ll never breathe if you can’t Blue Velvet an oxygen mask while watching a rookie starter.” And that’s me quoting me! Would like to add to that, Rolek looks like he’d be in Action Bronson’s crew. So, came away massively impressed by Rolek (6 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 2 walks, 7 Ks). 82 MPH slider with upwards to 43 inches of break is a ‘goodnight, see ya tomorrow’ pitch, that he couples with a 96 MPH FB. Had some drop which could be an issue (falls into strike zone), but the 89 MPH change makes up for it. He threw one hummer down the pipe-lane to Aaron Judge and big boy got frozen solid like Mr. Freeze dropped a bad pun on him. “I have another call, so I have to put you on cold.” I had grabbed Rolek in my 12-teamer, but rosters are tight, so I needed to drop him, and now I’m filled with regret. Would absolutely grab him in all leagues. Hopefully, that tall drink of water can avoid hiccups. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Arm On, Arm On, Arm On, Arm On, Arm On Kaprielian

May 27, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 415 Comments

by: Grey

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Yesterday, James Kaprielian went 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 2 walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.53, and it’s time to dig in. Luckily, I watched him since it was an afternoon game. Looks like his sum is greater than his parts. Like a Honda. Ya know, no one ever talks about parts being better than a whole, which is always more likely. Like Tenet. Like The Irishman. Like a seven-course dinner anywhere. Amuse bouche? I’ll amuse you! Apps? Perhaps! Entree? Entry into my mouth! Cheese course? Okay, eff off. Mid-dinner sorbet to cleanse my palate? No, just bring me the damn dessert! So, Kaprielian appears to have a home run problem, but the Colossal-seum will help with that, and facing the M’s didn’t hurt. The command will be low 3-ish BB/9 with a 8.7-9.1 K/9. That’s roughly a high-3 to low 4 ERA with neutral luck, and a Streamonator call. Whispers softly, “He’s a mediOAKer starter.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Unlucky 13 Royals Left For Dead In House On Haunted Rich Hill

May 26, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 431 Comments

by: Grey

Those pitching last night: Clayton Kershaw vs. Zack Greinke. Two surefire Hall of Famers, one who will give the shortest Hall of Fame speech on record. Also, pitching last night: future first ballot Hall of Famers, Jacob deGrom and Max Scherzer. Two more must watch: Cy Young candidates, Corbin Burnes and Joe Musgrove, toeing the rubber to go against each other. All in one night. That’s what we had yesterday. And the best pitching performance was the 41-year-old, 88 MPH hurler, Rich Hill aka Dick Mountain aka Dick n’ Blisters. That’s why baseball is incredible! Predict that shizz! Yesterday, Rich Hill went 8 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 3.63. His perfs (the kids call them that — the kids younger than Hill) 10 K/9, 3 BB/9, and almost exactly pitching to his ERA, as his luck has been virtually neutral. Will it continue? Well, since he saved his arm by taking all of his 30s off for blisters, maybe? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Watch Hiura Back

May 25, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 535 Comments

by: Grey

Let’s take one more victory lap around my standing desk prior to moving on for good. A hirsute Donkey Teeth said to me in March, “I need a bold prediction from you for this season.” I wrote back, “That they’ll let you within 500 feet of a school.” He wrote back, “About baseball.” I wrote back, “The school will have a baseball team?” He wrote back, “Major League Baseball.” I wrote back, “Venmo me $100 for wasting my time.” Then, after a week back-and-forth, I said the first bold prediction that came to my mind: Keston Hiura‘s batting average would bottom out and he’d be demoted. He was going in the first 50 picks of drafts. This was not a willy and/or nilly bold prediction. People loved Keston Hiura. After that bold prediction, I doubled down, and he was my first sell of the season, telling you to get rid of him the day after Opening Day. *begins to pant* Okay, I’m winded, victory lap over. Keston Hiura (1-for-3, 1 run) was recalled yesterday, and I picked him up in all leagues. I, Mr. Don’t Draft Keston, picked him up? Yes, because now his price isn’t a 4th round pick, but free. Free’s good. Hiura still had strikeout issues in the minors — 34.2%, which is honestly laughably bad. If his price weren’t free, I’d prolly pass. It’s funny how many people are now suddenly excited about Hiura when he seems to have exactly the same problem. Serious question: Are the Brewers capable of teaching how to not strikeout? *looks randomly at their entire team* Forget it, I can answer myself. So, grab Hiura for the speed/power, but don’t be surprised if he still hits in the .180 range. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Austin Powers: The Riley Who Four-Bagged Me

May 24, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 585 Comments

by: Grey

Maybe I’m just a guy that puts feety pajamas on over his head. Maybe I walk into a Subway and ask a sandwich artist, “Do you smell onions?” Maybe I stare at people playing Jenga and try to move the pieces with telekinesis. Maybe I pronounce the D in Django. Maybe I call diner waitresses “Sweetheart” and old guys “Sonny.” Maybe I could be wrong, but Austin Riley (2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer, hitting .320) feels like he’s headed to be a top 25 player drafted next year. In December of last year, I wrote an Austin Riley sleeper. I have hand eyes like in Pan’s Labyrinth, and those hands are pressed up against Statcast. I said in that sleeper that Riley was a guy who could be drafted after 250 and have top 50 overall value. It was December and I wrote that in November, so while I was very fortune tellery to foresee Austin Riley, his ADP was 202th overall in NFBC, not 250. Still huge value if the top 50 value comes to fruition. As I mentioned last week, he flattened his swing a lot, becoming more of a .280 hitter, than the .240 one he was coming into the year. The only question mark now is with a flatter swing, can he still homer? This week’s six homers does a good job of saying flatter does not make the ironing bored. Pun…and a miss! Anyway, here’s what I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Buy Vidal So Soon

May 21, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 569 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

“If you don’t look good, I don’t look good,” said famed hairstylist Vidal Sassoon, as he was trying to get his son, Bob, to take off denim overalls and put on something else. Affronted, Bob Sassoon later took on his father’s hair empire, literally head-on, when Bob started manufacturing baby wigs. “When they emerge from the womb, they should look da bomb,” said Bob Sassoon, managing to make that awkward bomb/womb rhyme. Unfortunately, his baby wig business went belly up after two months with loses totaling twelve million dollars. The story, thankfully, doesn’t end there for the Sassoons. A disgraced Bob changed his last name to Brujan, and named his firstborn son, Vidal, vowing now to capture the hair dye/shampoo market. Again, much to Bob’s chagrin, Vidal Brujan became a baseball player, not a hair stylist, and Bob again disowned a Vidal right before he was about to become wildly successful. Any hoo! Here’s what Prospect Itch has said about Brujan previously, “It’s rare enough for a 40-steal player to enter our game. Even rarer to find one who hits enough to earn himself regular playing time. Rarer still to find one who speaks five languages. I mention this last piece because language learning requires the same determination needed for the grind of baseball. You’re going to make mistakes. Might look like an idiot. Might often feel dumb. But you have to keep putting yourself out there. And as long as you stay positive and focus on the long term, you can improve a little bit every day. In 2014, Tampa signed Brujan out of the Dominican Republic for $15,000. He was illiterate at the time. Now: five languages. Grey can’t speak one.” Tough but fair, tee bee aitch. Brujan is on the 40-man roster and coming our way very soon. He will be an immediate impact guy for fantasy in all leagues, and should be picked up now. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Giants Maul Mal Mahle

May 21, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 310 Comments

by: Grey

Hello darkness, my old friend…I sing to the T. Mahle coming out my butt a day after eating Chipotle is this enough details for you I can’t even punctuate I’m so miserable. WHAT THE EFF, Tyler Mahle (2 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.20)? 4.20 is right because I want to get high to numb the pain. Eff me, that was brutal. Maybe I can sit down again in June. Right now I’m too sore from ingesting that T. Mahle. One of those Giants buggers, Steven Duggar (2-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs) and his 2nd homer, and on top of that Mahle shelllacking — yes, I’m still on that! — no one on the Giants is anywhere near my teams, except Tauchman and he didn’t even play. Holy sit! Darrin Ruf (4-for-5, 4 runs 2 RBIs) hit his 6th homer. Ruf’s having one of those years where you wouldn’t dare pick him up in mixed leagues, but is having a great deep NL-Only year, considering he was picked up off waivers, which is what I tell myself when I want to feel pain, because I dropped Ruf the 2nd week of the season in a 12-team NL-Only league. Haha, I am sucking it up, folx! Also, in on the action is Brandon Crawford (3-for-6, 3 runs, 6 RBIs, hitting .261) and his 11th homer. He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy column as he’s been for the last few weeks. I almost removed him because he really shouldn’t be on waivers, and I think it’s just ESPN fantasy baseballers being goofy. If you want to see the Buy/Sell now, subscribe to our Patreon. Next up, Evan Longoria (3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, hitting .248) hit his 5th homer, and the Giants are the best team in the majors. Welcome to 2021. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

CK None

May 20, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 451 Comments

by: Grey

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We have six no-hitters by May 19th. Seven no-hitters is a modern-day season record. At this point, it will be more novel when someone throws a ten-hitter. Soon we’ll be celebrating: Kyle Gibson just threw a 7-hitter! He allowed hits! Never is now, Mr. Gibson! This is like 2001 and Barry Bonds is throwing a no hitter every game. Conspiracy Theory Alert! Rob Manfred is going to use this year to explain why the mound has to move back a foot next year, and then we’re going to have our first 100-homer season. I will bet someone this happens. We’re thinking small, Rob Manfred’s evil mind is thinking big picture. Or pitcher, in this case, because only jacked guys will be able to reach the plate. So, Corey Kluber (9 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 1 walk, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.86) threw a no-hitter against his old club, the Rangers. Not the other team that the Rangers killed. The question for us is Corey Kluber fixed. Or at least usable, which I honestly had questions about coming into the year. His numbers look number two to three-ish. He’s not an ace — 9 K/9, 3.6 BB/9, 4.17 xFIP, using xFIP there because I do believe he’s been a tad ‘lucky’ on homers. It’s solid, usable, and rosterable, which is what I say before he throws a consecutive no-hitter next time because: 2021. By the way, Johnny Vander Meer’s family moving his crypt from stadium to stadium this year must be exhausting, and there’s no way Johnny Vander Meer’s record makes it out of 2021. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Charles Barkley Sums Up Tigers’ Starter And M’s Bats In No-Hitter As “They’re Both Turnible”

May 19, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 422 Comments

by: Grey

They should have a contest where one lucky fan tries to no-hit the Mariners. Yesterday, Spencer Turnbull no-hit the Mariners (9 IP, 0 ER, 2 walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.88), because the Mariners are being no-hit every day of the week that ends in Y. Armando Galarraga called and said big whoop. Yo, he sounds bitter. Didn’t they give Armando Galarraga a car after his kinda perfect game? They should give Spencer Turnbull a salmon thrown to him by someone in Seattle wearing rubber boots. How about teams that have a team batting average under .205 get to use the juiced ball? Sure, it’s an arbitrary rule, but so is the dropped third strike rule if you think about it. So, I hope you used the Streamonator that told you to start Turnbull. Beyond that, Turnbull looks like he’s, uh, turned a corner. He’s throwing his offspeed stuff more, and results are good: 8.1 K/9, 2.1 BB/9, 2.75 FIP, so close to neutral luck outside of home runs allowed, but he doesn’t allow homers ever. He’s not an ace, but that’s a usable number three to four, and since the no-hitter happened after I wrote the original opening, you’re getting a special treat today. A double lede! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Author: Grey

Read some of Grey's 4911 posts

Baez & Wisdom Treat San Diego To Chicago Style And Go Deep At the Dish

The Land Of The Free And The Home Of The Braves Is No Longer Ozuna’s Anthem

The Search For The Next Coors Buy Is Never-Brendan Story

If You Don’t Manoah, Now You Manoah

The Arm On, Arm On, Arm On, Arm On, Arm On Kaprielian

Unlucky 13 Royals Left For Dead In House On Haunted Rich Hill

Watch Hiura Back

Austin Powers: The Riley Who Four-Bagged Me

Buy Vidal So Soon

Giants Maul Mal Mahle

CK None

Charles Barkley Sums Up Tigers’ Starter And M’s Bats In No-Hitter As “They’re Both Turnible”