In the preseason, I said Adam Lind could contend for the MVP. Wow. It’s almost like Matthew Berry put that thought in my head. In a litany of dopey things I’ve said, that might take the cake, frost it and smush it into my face. The Berry feeds the Grey (bad advice), the Berry feeds the Grey (bad advice)… Hi-ho, the marry-o… What was I thinking?! In my defense, he didn’t have an ailing back when I said that flimflammery and I told you to drop him outright a few weeks ago. Oh, well, that’s what you get sometimes from crazy predictions. Just flat-out crazy. Like I should be walking into traffic in a burlap sack crazy. So the Jays added a third A to Lind’s first name, sending him to the minors. Since he was hitting like an infant, it makes sense. In his place, the Jays called up Yan Gomes. What’s with people and the last name Gomes unable to spell John? Yanny was hitting .359 with 5 dingers in Triple-A. Whatever, right? Well, he’s a catcher, so those are like MVP (dah!) numbers. In AL-Only leagues, I could see grabbing him. Right now, he’s behind J.P., Mathis, Lawrie and Encarnacion, but Lawrie’s got a suspension and Edwin just made an error and the Jays game doesn’t even start for 12 hours, so Yanny could see time all over the field. Yesterday, he played third and went 2-for-3. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brett Lawrie – Unable to decide on the shadow coat rack or just bad calls, he dropped his appeal. He is also practicing counting to ten before blowing his top. As soon as he figures out what comes after 6 it should be a breeze.
J.P. Arencibia – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer in as many games. I think he leads my RCL team in homers. Now I will cry.
Mat Latos – 5 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 7 Ks which equals a pretty mediocre start in Metco. This was his chance to string three quality starts together. At best, that chance only comes around once every three starts!
Lucas Duda – I didn’t mention it yesterday when he had a 3-for-4 day because I wasn’t sure if it would be a 3-for-4 day followed by a 1-for-4 day or a 3-for-4 day followed by a 3-for-4 day or a 2-for-5 day. It turns out that 3-for-4 day became a 2-for-5 day and now he looks like he’s a hot schmotato again. And, sorry, I think my 3-for-4 day record is scratched; it keeps repeating.
Ike Davis – 0-for-2 to lower his average to .164. He’ll be fine. He has his family’s support. You know who I really worry about? That poor soul who drafted Hosmer and Ike Davis.
David Wright – 2-for-2 with his 4th steal. I pledged a nickel to Jerry Lewis’s Kids for every time I mention Wright. We’re up to fifteen cents.
Dayan Viciedo – 1-for-4 with his 6th homer and 3rd in the last 4 games, and hitting .381 in the last week. As we know, Viciedo is Latin for I Swing Therefore I Am, and he’s living up to that. In 118 ABs, he has 32 Ks and 3 walks, but if he’s swinging a hot bat, what do you care?
Chris Sale – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks as the White Sox let him throw 102 pitches. Could someone help the White Sox tie their shoes because they’re wearing kid gloves?
Josh Reddick – 2-for-5 with his 10th homer. I wouldn’t use Reddick’s towel to dry my hands, but I’m sure enjoying him on our teams.
Adam Wainwright – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 1 K. Far from a beautiful outing vs. the Melky-led Giants. “Yo, Giants fans, you got Melky in your three hole. Y’all is spoiled!” That’s a Padres fan talking. If you heard this week’s podcast, Rudy and I discussed Wainwright with some favorable mentions and whatnot.
Allen Craig – Out for a few days with a tight hammy. Wouldn’t surprise me to see him hit the DL. Poor guy, can’t have nothing nice with his health around. It’s like Chipper Jones is his mentor. “Now, when you get out of bed, you’re gonna feel your quad tighten up. That’s totally natural.”
Matt Carpenter – 3-for-5, 2 runs as he got the start in right field with Berkman back in the lineup. He should continue to see starts with Craig pulling a Craig. I’m also convinced that the Cards could put anyone in their lineup and they’d hit.
Charlie Culberson – The Charlie Culberson Era has officially begun! That’s almost as electrifying as TBS’s George Lopez Era. Charlie Culberson sounds like he has grit and other intangibles, but for s’s and g’s let’s see what tangibles he has. This year in Triple-A, he hit 5 homers with a steal. The year before in Double-A, 10 homers, 14 steals. His glove’s a bit sloppy, i.e., Charlie Culberson makes fielding grounders cumbersome (say that fast 117 times!). Sounds nice for fantasy, right? Yeah, he might also hit .210. Charlie Culberson not only has a name that only sounds right if you say the whole thing, but he also hasn’t seen too many pitches he doesn’t like. In NL-Only leagues, you can find worse — like the other schmohawks the Giants were playing at 2nd. In mixed leagues, let’s see how ol’ Charlie Culberson plays out.
Trevor Plouffe – 1-for-4 with his 3rd homer. Plouffe goes the dynamite!
Justin Morneau – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer. Don’t sleep on Morneau! Seriously, because if you guys knock heads while laying on top of him, you may seriously hurt him. If you really need a corner infidel, I’d go ahead and grab him. Of ghrabi him, if you like things spelled to look like they’re in the Middle East.
Matt Capps – Perfect inning to notch his 8th save. I’m totally jinxing him by even talking about him, but I remember distinctly during our RCL draft (after ending up with Cano instead of Votto!), Rudy saying to me how Storen and Valverde were the solid closers that I drafted, but how I’m gonna regret Capps. This year more than most, it just proves SAGNOF! Draft three closers, pray they work out and don’t overpay for them.
Mark Trumbo – 4-for-4 with a steal (hitting .370) while Pujols hit his 3rd homer and 2nd in as many games. It only took Scioscia 39 games to figure out a lineup! Don’t worry, it’ll take the Sciosciapath only a day to forget. Oh, and good luck on buying low on Pujols now. Oh, Part II: The Return Of Oh: This Pujols turnaround all started with the firing of the hitting coach.
C.J. Wilson – 3 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners (6 BBs), 3 Ks. Fire the pitching coach!
Mitch Moreland – 2-for-2, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and 2 jacks. Don’t you despise people who call homers jacks? It’s not as bad as people who use the word uber, but it’s not far off.
Ryan Roberts – 3-for-5 yesterday, and, since his Creeper of the Week post on Monday, he’s 7-for-18 with a steal and two new tats.
Justin Upton – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer to raise his average to .224. If you had thoughts of buying low, time could be slipping, slipping, slipping into the frontal suture. Damn you, Autocorrect!
Trevor Bauer – Was promoted from Double-A to Triple-A yesterday as he slowly makes his way to the majors. He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell. Bob Sugar read it and gave me a thumbs up.
Orlando Hudson – Was released by the Padres. You know who’s ears are perking up? Brian Sabean. He likes his meat aged, jerky! I wish Orlando Hudson the best; I always loved his mom, Florida Evans.
Carlos Ruiz – 4-for-5, 3 RBIs and a steal. He’s doing better than my Utility man in the RCL. It’s sad, because it’s true.
Troy Tulowitzki – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. That’s his first homer since April 27th. That’s a long delay on the snooze button.
Brandon Beachy – 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks to lower his ERA to 1.33. Pretttay, pretttay good. He could be a top ten starter this year, and that guy that has an ERA around 2.50 in September. With Beachy, it’s no shore thing, but ride the wave.
Jordan Zimmermann – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks as he was beat by a Barajas homer. Or as J-Z would say B*****s.
Dee Gordon – 0-for-3, lowering his average to .207. If he doesn’t turn it around, we’re about ten days away from him being demoted.
James McDonald – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks. Five and two-thirds and only 5 baserunners with 11 Ks but 3 earned? That doesn’t even seem possible. Raw deal, J-Mac. A’ight, real talk, guys and 4 girls, McDonald used to be a top prospect. It was a while ago now, but maybe he’s putting his shizz on lock. You feel me? Okay, you’re just touching the computer screen; you’re not actually feeling me. McDonald has around a 8 K/9, a strong FIP (2.88), and his walks are in check. If Mickey D’s is out there, I’d absolutely grab him.
Andrew McCutchen – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and 2 homers. He’s going for the record of most homers with the least amount of RBIs. The Pirates are doing all they can to support that record-setting goal.
Matt Moore – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks vs. the Red Sox. I’m sure this was a bit of a sonavabench for a bunch of you, but I’d much rather have a struggling starter do well on my bench than continue to stink up the joint.
Ricky Nolasco – 4 IP, 4 ER. Aw, how sad, he was Rudy’s streamboat in the RCL. Oh, wait, he benched him. Sonavawishhewasn’tbenched!
Jose Altuve – 3-for-5 and his 8th steal. I asked Rudy the other day if he thought Altuve should start being dropped in 12 team leagues. His words were something like, “He’s a .300 hitter with 25 steal speed at the top of a lineup, what do people want from an MI?”
Doug Fister – 6 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners, 5 Ks and took the loss as he ran into the hot-hitting Twins. I’m not completely joking either. They actually have scored some runs of late. Though, Mauer, who’s hitting .265, sure hasn’t been involved.
Welington Castillo – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his first homer. You think he gets this a lot, “Where’s the beef, Welington?” Probably not. I’m not going to say he’s a better option than Geovany Soto. That’s obvious. Soto has a bad case of can’t-hit-to-save-his-life-itis and a sore knee. Welington had 15 homers last year in Triple-A. Right now, he’s just for two catcher leagues, but I could see him stealing more time from Soto even when the latter gets healthy.
Johnny Giavotella – 1-for-4 to raise his average to .176 as the Guido played over Hosmer. Sadly, it makes sense.
Brian Matusz – 6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks vs. Luke Hochevar – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks. That sounds like a tailor-made matchup for some fingercuffing that didn’t work out great for either finger.
Dustin Ackley – 1-for-5 with a steal. Hey, his cleats arrived from Japan!
Brandon League – 1/3 IP, 2 ER. And on the fourth day, God said only Fernando Rodney and Jim Johnson can close with ERAs under 3.
Ichiro Suzuki – 0-for-6 to lower his average to .278. Doode got old fast, right? It’s my Morita Law of Asian Ages. Pat Morita was young and spry on Happy Days, then five years later as Mr. Miyagi he looked ancient.
Hector Noesi – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks to lower his ERA to 5.61. On a side note, I wonder if Carlos Beltran would pay for Jon Niese to have his last name changed to Noesi.