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Let’s quote the Random Preseason Commenter, “You don’t have Matt Thornton in your top 20 closers?  Hey, Grey, how does it feel to suck at life?  Oh, and while you’re sucking, blow me.  Thank you.”  This isn’t to point out I knew Thornton would be terrible, but to say again how fickle closers are.  He wasn’t in the top 20 because he had very little experience as a closer, and to say he was a lock as an elite closer was absurd.  The whole point with closers is the same as William Goldman’s famous quote regarding Hollywood, “No one knows anything.”  Soria has a 5+ ERA, Mariano’s blown two saves, Brian Wilson has a 9+ ERA and Fernando Rodney… Well, you knew he would suck and he did.  In the preseason, I also said that Ryan Franklin would lose the job.  I didn’t think it would happen that fast, but there ya go.  I have more faith in Mitchell Boggs keeping the job and his accounting firm above water until October than I have in Ryan Madson, but he’s a closer too so he too should be owned.  It’s all about SAGNOF, ya’ll.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Heath Bell (+1) (Mike Adams, Luke Gregerson, Chad Qualls)
2. Carlos Marmol (+2) (Kerry Wood, Sean Marshall)
3. Mariano Rivera (-2) (Rafael Soriano, Joba Chamberlain)
4. Jonathan Papelbon (+1) (Daniel Bard, Bobby Jenks)
5. Jose Valverde (+1) (Joaquin Benoit, Ryan Perry)

Donkeycorns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

6. Joakim Soria (-3) (Aaron Crow, Jeremy Jeffress)
7. Craig Kimbrel (+7) (Jonny Venters, George Sherrill)
8. J.J. Putz (+7) (David Hernandez, Juan Gutierrez)
9. Francisco Rodriguez (Jason Isringhausen, Bobby Parnell)
10. Chris Perez (+2) (Tony Sipp, Chad Durbin, Rafael Perez)
11. Huston Street (+2) (Matt Lindstrom, Rafael Betancourt)
12. Brian Wilson (-5) (Sergio Romo, Jeremy Affeldt)
13. Francisco Cordero (+3) (Aroldis Chapman, Nick Masset)
14. John Axford (-4) (Kameron Loe, Zach Braddock, Takashi Saito)
15. Leo Nunez (+5) (Clay Hensley, Edward Mujica)
16. Joel Hanrahan (+6) (Evan Meek)
17. Drew Storen (+12) (Sean Burnett, Tyler Clippard)
18. Jordan Walden (+6) (Fernando Rodney, Hisanori Takahashi, Scott Downs)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Kevin Gregg– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Brian Roberts in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

19. Brandon Lyon (+4) (Mark Melancon, Wilton Lopez)
20. Matt Capps (-3) (Joe Nathan)
21. Kyle Farnsworth (+8) (Joel Peralta, Jake McGee, J.P.Howell)
22. Kevin Gregg (+3) (Koji Uehara, Mike Gonzalez)
23. Brandon League (+2) (David Aardsma)
24. Brian Fuentes (+4) (Grant Balfour, Andrew Bailey)
25. Jon Rauch/Frank Francisco (+2) (Octavio Dotel, Jason Frasor)
26. Mitchell Boggs (-10) (Jason Motte, Ryan Franklin, Miguel Batista)
27. Jonathan Broxton/Hong-Chih Kuo/Vicente Padilla (-19) (Matt Guerrier, Kenley Jansen)
28. Ryan Madson (-7) (Antonio Bastardo, Jose Contreras, Brad Lidge)
29. Sergio Santos (-19) (Matt Thornton, Chris Sale, Jesse Crain)
30. Darren Oliver (-6) (Arthur Rhodes, Darren O’Day, Neftali Feliz, Anyone With Intimidating Facial Hair)

  1. michael bourne says:
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    Madson is -7? Boggs is down 9? Where does that number come from? Love closer updates and general grey blog posts! Thank you for razzing. Still have 3 top 15 donkeycorns and 1.5 brainfreezes.

  2. Jangles says:
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    Nice work Grey. Quick question: Ryan Roberts or Freese (or Aviles) as McGehee thumb insurance? Thanks dude

  3. Nuke LaDouche says:
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    Thanks Grey! I got the Hanley side. I don’t really feel like its close. I still have Axford, League, Lyon, and Oliver to close for now.

  4. bobert says:
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    Start Liriano today?
    Also, any of the following as potential streaming starts: DlR, McCarthy, Jurrjens, Wade Davis.

  5. bill says:
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    Bartolo Colon or Esmil Rogers? 6×6 with QS.

  6. Salty Balty says:
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    I’m offering Madson and E. Jackson for A. Rios. Am I giving up too much? I still like Jackson for spot starts and holds is a category, so Madson is valuable even when he’s not the 9th inning guy. I’m pretty sure Rios is due for a bounceback, but he’s had some long uber-horrible stretches before in his career. Also, I have Bourn, but am still pretty light on steals.

    As always, thanks.

  7. Eddy says:
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    Out of curiosity:

    Is Santos’ #29 spot because his job isn’t stable (yet), or because of actual skills?

  8. Wilsonian says:
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    Twins/Rays game postponed.

  9. Wilsonian says:
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    @Eddy: I would assume stability. Dude has some nasty stuff and really deserves to be the closer. He reminds me of a Marmol-type (not to mention the fact that he was a position player just a couple years ago).

  10. Wilsonian says:
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    I got your point on the catcher question from the previous post. That’s why you’re the guru and your point was well taken.

    Can you rank these following SPs for the rest of the year in an 8 Team League:

    Gio, Bills, D. Hudson, Kuroda, Shields, Kennedy, Masterson, Nolasco, Beachy?

    Thanks, as usual.

  11. OaktownSteve says:
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    Kenley Janen starting to come around. Sick stuff, sick k numbers. Location problems give you a heart attack if he closes though. No question he’ll get a shot to close somewhere sometime before his time is done. By the end of the year, probably the guy. Any LA press as to whether Guerrier actually gets a shot? If Kuo is back by Friday and continuing to throw well, he’s gotta be the guy, no? Broxton cannot last. He looks so cooked.

  12. SDPete says:
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    In a large auction league that starts 3 RP, my team has managed to get 3 closers (Kimbrel/Axford/Boggs) for a combined $1.60 when the league average for the top closers in auction is $10-11. I’m about to change my team name to SAGNOFfice Space. Of course, all three of those guys could simultaneously brain freeze me. Such is life. Good work as always.

  13. Hans says:
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    @Grey In your post about two weeks ago “Every Rose has its Thorton” or something along those lines, you failed to even mention Sergio Santos in the entire post, when he was the obvious heir apparent with Sale and Thornton struggling during save opps. I even posted in that column saying that it was irresponsible to not even mention sergio santos in the article. Thoughts on this now? your pick up santos now is two weeks too late. good thing I grabbed him already.

  14. Hans says:
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    Jonathan Broxton now taken out of the primary closers role…..Ned Coletti said the Dodgers will use a combination of Kuo/Broxton/ and wait for it Vicente Padilla…..

  15. herschel says:
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    from molly knight on twitter: “Ned Colletti says Broxton is being removed as Dodgers primary closer until he gets his confidence back. Team will use Padilla/Brox/Kuo.”

  16. Casey Blake's Beard says:
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    10 team H2H league. I’m currently running only 2 closers out there: Farnsworth and Capps. I waffle between being okay with just the two closers and then feeling like I’m punting saves.

    I also like my team and don’t really want to drop any of these possibilities: Mark Reynolds, Hafner, Gardner, David Murphy, D Hudson, Narveson, Beachy, Jhoulys.

    The following are available: Kuo, Guerrier, Nathan, Santos, Wilton Lopez, Melancon, Fuentes, Joel Peralta.

    Drop who for which long term closer possibility?

    Thanks in advance.

  17. OaktownSteve says:
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    …starring Benicio del Toro as Vicente Padilla?

  18. Casey Blake's Beard says:
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    Seeing Herschel’s quote, Padilla is also available.

    Drop Gardner for Padilla, Kuo, Guerrier, Nathan, Santos, Wilton Lopez, Melancon, Fuentes, Joel Peralta?

  19. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @michael bourne: Their change from last week.

    @Jangles: Freese

    @Nuke LaDouche: No problem.

    @bobert: I would.

    @bill: Rogers

    @Salty Balty: Sounds fair.

    @Eddy: He has two career saves with one being yesterday and no job security.

    @Wilsonian: Thanks for the heads up!

    @Wilsonian: Bills, D. Hudson, Kuroda, Gio, Kennedy, Shields, Beachy….

    @OaktownSteve: Yeah, Kuo’s the guy when he returns in a few days.

    @SDPete: Ha!

    @Hans: I wouldn’t say he’s obvious even now after getting a save. If he blows the game today, you really think he’s getting the next save? If there’s two lefties in the ninth, he’s getting the save?

    @herschel: Thanks for the heads up!

    @Casey Blake’s Beard: Do you have bench hitters? Then lose one for Kuo.

  20. birrrdy! says:
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    Grey, what are your thoughts about the Padilla comment? Kuo is gone in our league, and we run waivers tonight. Should I take a stab at Padilla? I have Storen and Burnett and was going to drop Burnett to do it.

  21. Josh says:
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    Hey there Grey, would you drop Tori Hunter for 1 of these guys?

    Jason Bay
    Carlos Beltran

  22. Is it a bad sign that I have one Donkeycorn (Hanrahan) and three and a half Brain Freezes (League, Frank Francisco, Santos, and Oliver)?

    Never pay for saves. Unless you can’t compete in saves, and then you should probably pay for saves.

  23. Casey Blake's Beard says:
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    Hi Grey,

    My bench consists of David Murphy (just picked him up last week), Aviles (need his eligibility), Hafner (I’m a believer that he’s back), Freddie Freeman (just picked up — need him as 1b backup), Mark Reynolds, Gardner (could drop as I have Tabata), and then I’d have to drop one of the above when Aaron Hill comes off DL, or ditch him as well.

  24. MattW says:
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    @Grey: carlos lee or vlad for the rest of the season?

  25. Jangles says:
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    Breaking news, Padilla and Kuo will close by committee. I grabbed Padilla, making me a saves lunatic along with the rest of my league

  26. Mr2Bits says:
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    Grey : Is it worth losing Oliver now to grob Kuo until he comes off the DL on friday? Only prob is Kuo will eat a bench spot as my DL is full.

    I currently have Marmol, Hanrahan and Farnsworth as my closer with Feliz on the DL.

  27. trick dad says:
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    cano/gordon or dunn/uggla?

  28. wynams says:
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    I’m lining up all day long to take Fuentes 25th overall (behind Axford, Broxton, Gregg and League wtf?) guess thats why I am 3-0

  29. Hardcore Midget says:
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    I have Gregg and Frank Francisco. Should I drop either of them for Santos? Or maybe drop both and also pick up Padilla or Kuo?

  30. Hans says:
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    @Grey I would say sergio santos is definitely the guy to get the next save for the White Sox. Thornton and Sale look somewhat scared in the 9th inning. I would also say Santos ends the year with the most saves for the Chi Sox. One other thing I gave the heads up not herschel on broxton/kuo/padilla. Check the comments….If you LOVE SAGNOF like I do follow @closernews on twitter.

  31. Wilson's Beard says:
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    Lind or Berkman?
    Morneau/Krispie or CarGo/Lily?

  32. Kazmere says:
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    Drop Rodney for Kuo?

  33. Casey Blake's Beard says:
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    @Hans: My apologies for not giving you your propers.

  34. Mr2Bits says:
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    @Casey Blake’s Beard:

    Sounds like Hans wasn’t given enough attention as a kid.

  35. Doc Pounder says:
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    What kind of OFer do you think Jed Lowrie could fetch? 11 team 5×5 roto. My 2 UT’s are Miggy and Morneau,Pedroia@2b,and reyes @ss. Gardner and Lind are killing me.

  36. Hans says:
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    @Casey Blake’s Beard my apologies for you having freddie freeman as a backup 1st basemen on your team….that should work out well for you

  37. MrHappyTime says:
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    Someone just dropped Rios in my league, would you drop Torii Hunter to get him?

  38. Doc Pounder says:
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    Sorry about lack of info above.My other OFers are Krispy,Cruz,Raburn, and Fowler,with LoMo and Pagan on DL.

  39. Ian says:
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    Check out my craptastic relievers: Thornton, Santos, League, Oliver and Feliz (DL). Cut MadBum lose to add Padilla ya think? I’m reluctant to drop Bumgarner with his velocity actually being UP from last year, but I can’t take any more crappy outings from him. I could drop Narveson too though.

  40. Jack Kersey says:
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    Hey Grey,

    What are your thoughts on Delmon young right now? He just got dropped and I have waiver priority and am holding Rajai Davis and Borjous in my keeper.

  41. nick m. says:
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    I have Broxton and Santos with only one more move for the week – who is the better pickup: Kuo, Thornton, Padilla?

  42. Giant JJ says:
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    God damnit I love this site. Thanks for being born Grey.

  43. @Hans
    I found your mild attack on Grey and his failure to mention Santos as sad/inconsiderate. Maybe I’m too sensitive toward/protective of Grey who does all this work (essentially for free) to help us out. Your tone was a tad shitty bro. Have you bought him a margarita yet?
    Grey is one of the best around. When is the last time you publically thanked him or complimented him on some savvy advice or tip that helped your team?
    BTW, just because… I hope Santos chokes and never sniffs the 9th again. Cheers!!

  44. ken plane says:
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    @Hans: Man – did you have to go on the DL from all that patting on the back?

  45. Hans says:
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    @Dr. Stats yeah I got fired up over this Sergio Santos thing a little bit. I have bought Grey a dacquiri and thanked him for all the fantasy advice he gives everyday in the “Every Rose has a Thornton” article after questioning why no mention of Sergio Santos. Grey is the best fantasy baseball blogger around and I take his advice. There is no one I enjoy reading more. As me and one of my buddies say it’s my fantasy baseball cup of coffee every morning. So here’s to Grey and Sergio Santos.

  46. Fletch says:
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    @Grey: Some guy in my league is a BIG Fuld fan for some reason, to the point where he offered me F-Her for Fuld, A. Cabrera and E-Jax. Needless to say I took it. Good deal for me? Does F-Her start rolling soon or even get dealt before the deadline?

    Even if F-Her doesn’t pan out, the 3 guys I am trading were all waiver pick ups so nothing really lost. I still have Tulo @ SS and J. Upton, Kemp, McCutchen and Stanton if the OF. I will have CC, Kershaw, Marcum, Chacin, Ogando and now F-Her.

  47. Giant JJ says:
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    I picked up Kuo and Santos last night. Thanks Grey, you mustache on caramel and nougat. This isn’t the only site I read, but it’s the most important one, and the most fun.

  48. @Hans
    Well said brother. Grey deserves our humble thanks. Good luck with our fake baseball addiction!

  49. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Grey: ha,i dont specifically remember,but i bet alot of people gave you shit about thorntons preseason ranking,ive got a feeling bastardo ends the year closing for phillies,from what ive read theres still no word about uehara taking over for gregg anytime soon is there,

  50. Mr2Bits says:
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    Grey : Whats your thoughts on Ian Kennedy or Ervin Santana for Kendrick or Lind?

    Which combo do you prefer?

  51. Mike D. says:
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    @Grey, @Dr. Stats, @Hans

    I agree with Dr. Stats, 100%. Let’s not turn Razzball into every other website community in cyberspace, okay?

    Grey is a fantastic, funny ‘pert (<— and that's me voicing the thoughts of the multitude of dudes/three chicks who love Razz!).

    While he's only perfect something like 90% of the time (ha!), he is tirelessly devoted to helping our teams. And the posts! Filled with pop culture references that all of us "Old School" guys understand and love.

    In the words of Jackie Moon: "EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!" (At least, here at Razzball. I'm pretty much a douchebag everywhere else!).

    – Mike D.

  52. JamCanig says:
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    Grey, my pitching is in shambles in my money league! I’m sporting an era of almost 6.0 and whip of 1.62! My rotation was cheap thanks to keepers and consists of Ubaldo, Liriano, C. Lewis, Gio, E Jackson, Beachy, Zimmerman and McClellan. My “supposedly” three worst pitchers have been my best and I have watched their best starts from my bench. I need vino whenever I think of this travesty; Sto fottuto! My “solid” front four is as perverse as Berlusconi and getting worse by the week. It is still early, but I’m so far behind that it seems I’m reaching a tipping point. The best SP’s out there are Wolf, Humber, Duensing, Fister, Chen and Hochevar. I have a CI I can cut for one of them, but should I cut E Jacks for any of these yawnstipaters? All opinions welcome, thanks.

  53. bogbert says:
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    Grey, would you use McCarthy or Jurrjens as a streaming starter today?

    Also, in a 10-team league, my rotation is Gallardo, Liriano, Marcum, Gio, Morrow, Bills. Should I permanently add any one of the following? — McCarthy, Kennedy, Beachy, Anibal, Wolf, Baker?

  54. Fletch says:
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    Beachy or Narveson?

  55. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Hans: i think the reason theres a split closer ruliing in L.A. is because kuo wont be throwing 3 days in a row for the foreseeable time being,i think he will be 1st closer when available though,assuming he doesnt screw up

  56. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Mr2Bits: i doubt you get kendrick with those maybe a slow starting lind for kennedy,santana is on the waiver wire in most 12 team leagues,

  57. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Fletch: beachy,

  58. herschel says:
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    Roger Bernadina called up by the Nats. According to Grey, “I could see Bernadina being one of those guys that goes from not being on anyone’s team to being on everyone’s team by the end of the year.” And thats me copying and pasting Grey…

  59. JeffyJ says:
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    @Dr. Stats,

    Your rousing call to appreciate Grey inspired me to but the man a dacquiri. Someone should also add a button to bake him special brownies.

  60. AdamH says:
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    FrankFrank or Kuo?

  61. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @JeffyJ: brownies,now thats an idea

  62. @JeffyJ
    I always have the ingredients (ok, wait…weed yes, eggs maybe?) for those special brownies on hand. Maybe, Grey and I will get epically stoned and write a post about how Bobby Thigpen will return to the Chi Sox thus ending the Santos/Thornton debacle.

  63. Mr2Bits says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC:

    Well the problem is I have Kendrick and Lind and can;t play them due to me having Youk,Berkman and Bautista. I’m having to sell these guys 60 cents on the dollar for #2-#4 starting pitchers as nobody will bite for anything solid.

  64. Casey Blake's Beard says:
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    @Grey: I freaked out and jumped the gun, dropping Gardner before receiving your sage advice. Now I wanna puke.

  65. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @AdamH: roll the dice,i like kuo more but tomatoe tomauto

  66. mc serch says:
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    @Hans: well done Hans….nice recovery…thought you were going to be a dooshnozzle who was going to have to be voted off the island …as a fellow Santos owner (and now a proud Padilla owner too) please join me in downing this shot of tequila in Grey’s honor ….viva la SAGNOF!

    @JeffyJ: I’ve got the brownies locked brotha!

  67. birrrdy! says:
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    I second Giant JJ’s comments. Thanks, Grey!

  68. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Mr2Bits: kendrick is 2nd also,with 6 hr,s. you should get a decent starter or a good closer for him,or pair him with berkman and try to upgrade there,that said,im not a believer berk hits 30 or plays 140 games

  69. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @mc serch: im in bro,think ill have a couple myself,

  70. DonCoburleone says:
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    Grey I see you have League ranked ahead of Santos so help me out here: I have 4 “closers” at the moment (F-Rod, Storen, League and Santos). I am going to drop 1 and I figured League was the no-brainer of this group but for the rest of the season would you rather have League?

    Also, when are you going to do the RCL Standings? You’ve probably let everyone know already but I (unfortunately) don’t have the time to read everything you write.

  71. Bricklayer Brad says:
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    Lincecum for Yovani/Jason Heyward? Keeper league

  72. John says:
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    @Grey: Would you start Norris tonight vs STL?

  73. mc serch says:
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    @JamCanig: stay the course…its April…..maybe pick up wolf and lose the CI….i dont think anyone on your staff is droppable at this point….liked the berlusconi ref

  74. mc serch says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC: two tasty chocolate treats for the man with a drink in each hand!

  75. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Ian: Eh

    @Jack Kersey: I’d give him a whirl.

    @nick m.: Kuo

    @Giant JJ: No problem.

    @Fletch: Yeah, great deal.

    @Giant JJ: No problem.

    @AL KOHOLIC: Yeah, of course. Cause he was a sure thing, like Santos now suddenly.

    @Mr2Bits: I’d take Kendrick.

    @Mike D.: Ha!

    @JamCanig: Ha… Hold for now.

    @bogbert: Jurrjens

    @Fletch: Beachy

    @herschel: Thanks for the heads up!

    @AdamH: Kuo

    @birrrdy!: No problem.

    @DonCoburleone: Probably next week. Rudy and VinWins I believe are doing them. Can drop League, but he’s safer than Santos right now. That could change by next week.

    @Bricklayer Brad: Gallardo

    @John: Yup

  76. Nuke LaDouche says:
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    Alcides or Aybar?

  77. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    grey we need you to pull a few strings with the dodgers,ill take the strikeouts but we want gordons steals,e-mail me personally so steve doesnt get him 1st hehe

  78. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Casey Blake’s Beard: broxton has 40 pounds on mattingly,i think matt dog tucked his tail there,all i know is he needs to do whats best for the team and that seems like a no-brainer

  79. Steve says:
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    I know Broxton’s not been good, but if a couple of his fielders didn’t have hands like feet yesterday, we might not even be talking about him today.

  80. Casey Blake's Beard says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC: This reminds me a lot of Colletti last year blabbing to the press about Kemp’s play. Good organizations keep this kind of loose talk under wraps. Obviously the Dodgers are not currently a well run organization. But we all know there’s something wrong with Broxton, too. If not physically then definitely with his head.

  81. bobbo says:
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    CarGo is killing me but you don’t bench him as a UTIL for Glass Chipper do you? (yes, OBP and K’s are additional stat cats)

  82. Steve says:
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    Exploding Post-It note just told me that Longo will likely be back next Tuesday now, not Friday as previously suggested.

  83. Casey Blake's Beard says:
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    @Steve: True enough. But this year’s Brox is not the same guy as pre-ASB Brox.

  84. chata says:
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    @bobbo:

    play the daily match-ups

  85. Steve says:
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    @Casey Blake’s Beard: Yeah – no reason to suppose he may not have found a way to screw things up himself.

  86. Bad Bob says:
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    @Grey

    What are your thoughts on Eduardo Sanchez of the Cards? I’m in a league that counts holds and this guy has caught my eye. He just got his first 3 holds last week, has 12 k’s in 7 innings work and owns a shiny 0.00 era and 0.43 whip.

    Also give up on Ian stewart in a Dynasty league or hold and hope he figures things out?

  87. Busta says:
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    Drop Narveson,Beachy or Fuentes (other RP’s are Marmol/Perez/Bailey(IR) to pickup Hellickson? In addition, is he worth using a #7 claim on? I already know not much stock is put into ww claims for bball, but thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

  88. Johnny Disaster says:
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    Grey- Drop Fowler for Kuo? OF consists of Cruz, Tabata, Victorino with Alex Gordon backing up OF and Reynolds (ugh) at 3B. 10 team H2H so OFs are plentiful. Thanks.

  89. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Bad Bob: i really like him but have never been in a holds league,i think he and motte are competing for the 8th inning now and i see him getting it,i also think if motte doesnt keep up the good work and boggs was to fail,he would be a guy to watch

  90. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Busta: im not sure how grey ranks beachy hellickson,i think he likes hellickson a little better but for some reason ,ive got the hots for beachy,id drop narveson for him right now though

  91. Steve says:
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    @chata: In rely to your question from a couple of posts ago, I’m sure MLB.TV would work here, as it’s just TV delivered over the internet.

    Two issues for me. I’m not sure I could get that expenditure (for that purpose) past the Office of Management and Budget, and most baseball is played while I am at work, where I am almost certain the service would be blocked by our corporate firewall.

  92. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Steve: i about bought it when i first got hurt but,Janell gets off at 5,she will watch the reds with me and put up with my constant computer playing all evening,but she isnt going to watch non local games,if there were more afternoon games,id buy it in a heartbeat

  93. K!cks says:
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    Drop Posada for Avila … dumb or smart?

  94. Bob says:
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    @Grey: Lyon and Kuo are available, would you drop Broxton for either one?

  95. Steve says:
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    Posada out of the lineup tonight.

    As if anyone will notice.

  96. peter says:
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    @Busta: @AL KOHOLIC: Agree with AL… if you want to mess around with that piece of AL-East rookie nookie (does hellickson still qualify as a rookie?), drop Narveson. Although I think they’re kind of a push. I wouldn’t bother trying to preserve your claim, either.

  97. William says:
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    @Grey: Time to cut bait on Carlos Pena for Brandon Beachy, Kyle Drabek, Bronson Arroyo?

  98. peter says:
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    @K!cks: Hang onto Jorge.

    @Bob: Nope. The picture in LA is murky; I wouldn’t go dropping Broxton until I see/hear something concrete. And, even then, I might wait a day or 2 to see if things have settled.

  99. Shannon says:
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    Grey : I am one of your three girl readers ;) and am now 2nd in my league (I know it’s early)…I have two brainfreeze (Boggs and Rauch)….I am always winning in saves…should I be looking around for other relievers? Should I pick beachyback up for LeCure? Much thanks~

  100. Tony says:
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    @grey: would you own any of these guys over Colby Cheeeeese Lewis?

    -ervin santana
    -zambrano
    -bud norris
    -derek holland
    -myers OR
    -Clippard for some middle relief helping the K stats and ratios?

  101. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Shannon: you go girl,as you probably know rauch could be sharing or lose his closer gig to franky,so id atleast shore up the closer position if possible,boggs i think is ok right now,but 2 bad outings could change that situation quickly to

  102. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Tony: possibly pick up a saves hadcuff,motte/sanchez from cards bastardo

  103. Nuke LaDouche says:
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    My Berkman, Farns, Rauch for his Hanley, Butler just got vetoed. Totally legit trade. I didn’t even ask for Butler. He threw him in when he asked for Rauch not league. Vetoing trades is for turds.

  104. Shannon says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC ~ thanks (Razzball has done that for me ;))–I realize that that Rauch can’t make a mistake right now….I just don’t know who to look for (any suggestions?) I also dropped Lecure for beachy…always liked ‘em.

  105. Shannon says:
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    @Grey yay!! Thanks~feel much better ’bout the brainfreeze :)

  106. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Shannon: if you have the roster space,grab motte or sanchez from cards,bastardo from philly,santos isnt cemented in for the whitesox,gran thornton or sale,contreras might be out there,even romo from the giants in case wilson goes down,check out dunn or sanches(1 hit in 13 innings )from florida

  107. Steve says:
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    FWIW, I had a dream last night that Kershaw pitched his way to a 4-0 win. Only problem was, it was against the Rockies, not the Marlins.

  108. Shannon says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC***furiously writing **** thank you!!!!

  109. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Steve: we are way to into this stuff,glad it doesnt make you go blind

  110. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Shannon: your welcome,keep up the great work

  111. Tony says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC: i would, way gone, its my RCL, plus im solid in saves, leading the league….

  112. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    you really gottalike the 5 doubles and 2 hr,s in only 28 ab,s for sizemore,if only kendry comes back n similar style

  113. William says:
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    @Grey – H2H Standard 5×5 ROTO

    My batters are:

    C- Wieters
    1B- Adrian Gonzalez, Carlos Pena
    2B- Brandon Phillips
    3B- Pablo Sandoval, Mark Reynolds
    SS- Asdrubal Cabrera
    OF- Matt Kemp, Torii Hunter, Ben Zobrist, Jay Bruce, Michael Bourn

    SP- Ricky Nolasco, Josh Johnson, Mat Latos, John Lackey, Derek Holland
    RP- Huston Street, Hong-Chih Kuo, Matt Thornton, Matt Capps

    I stream starters every week. Is Carlos Pena still worth rostering for his power potential? Matt Thornton and John Lackey are clearly stream worthy pitchers.

  114. chata says:
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    @Steve:

    mlb.com …… FREE game of the day …. atlanta @ san diego
    10:05 pm boston time .

  115. B.J. says:
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    Hey Grey I traded Jered Weaver for Robinson Cano. I have Beckham at 2B and Utley on the DL coming back who knows when. Do you like it?

  116. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Tony: yeah,not much to pick from after 12 rcl vuluters hit the free agents,i know

  117. Casey Blake's Beard says:
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    @Wilson’s Beard: Our respective beardsakes should do battle.

  118. Wake Up says:
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    I remember you taking heat on the Thornton thing. I also remember you saying that Wilson would probably disappoint. I also remember you saying Braun would be the MVP even though some said his power was gone. Basically saying you are the man! You didn’t end up blowing him did you?

  119. Steve says:
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    Any chance that the Phils v DBacks finishes 1-0 either way after 9 with the winning run scoring as the result of an error?

    And Coke just got Smoak’d. Much to my annoyance.

  120. Balls Deep says:
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    Grey – I picked up Narveson since I needed a two-starter and am hurting bad. I have a bone to pick with you. Rather than mention he at best is a crafty (note not finesse) lefty with an 89 MPH fastball, you waste two sentences on BS. Anyone that reads “Narveson – 89 MPH fastball, lefty, picks at the corners” would have known to stay away from him. Anything you get out of him IS sheer luck. These things need to be known. Can you please note how some of these guys pitch instead of just telling us yes/no and in-game statistics?

    Or at least give similar pitchers to think about like : Narveson – poor man’s welfare baby’s Jamie Moyer. ie STAY AWAY

  121. Wake Up says:
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    @Grey: Thought you might enjoy this. Just got out of the shower, it’s dark here, and all the curtains were taken down all over the house. Some spring cleaning thing I’m not really familiar with, they just hang there, I don’t really see how they get dirty. Anyway, so I say, “Where are all the curtains you ignorant slut! Turns out she wasn’t a SNL fan…

  122. Eng says:
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    Update: Contreras Grade 1 sprain, least severe. Rest for ten days, then rehab. Back closing in 3 weeks.

  123. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    Harrison gives up 4 hits and 3 walks for 5 runs in the 1st.

  124. Wake Up says:
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    @Grey: Gardner!

  125. vinnie G says:
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    If Axford looses his job whos the first one to get an opportunity?

  126. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    Anybody other than Grey have Gardner starting?

  127. WDE05 says:
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    Picked up Chris Young yesterday…gave up 3 jacks today. I guess I can go ahead and forget about winning HRs allowed this week.

  128. royce! says:
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    @VinWins: I do! Because I’m a stubborn bastard!

  129. chata says:
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    i find that the best way , to give myself a chance of knowing what i’m doing ,
    is to actually watch the ball games .

  130. Anonymous says:
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    http://florida.marlins.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?c_id=fla&content_id=14160775

    Call me crazy, but had Sands’s first step been back, as is the golden rule for outfielders, instead of him hesitating (taking 2-3 steps in and to the left. more to the left, but I digress), I’m willing to bet that he could have made the catch and saved the inning. Doesn’t change the fact that Broxton gave up a solid line drive to Infante, of all people, but with top notch defense, the inning could have been salvaged.

  131. Wake Up says:
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    @VinWins: I do.

  132. WDE05 says:
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    What do you guys think about cutting Clay Buchholz? He’s been varying degrees of shitty in each of his starts and he’s pitching like trash again today. He’s given up 3 runs, but he’s fortunate that’s all given that the O’s have 9 hits and 2 walks through 4 2/3. He’s by far the worst pitcher on my staff thus far this year and I don’t have enough bench spots to sit him while he tries to figure out how to pitch.

  133. Wake Up says:
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    @VinWins: I’ve seen him a lot this year and I think his swing looks great. He has hit a bunch of lasers right at people so far. Pretty soon he’ll start hittin’em where they ain’t.

  134. Wake Up says:
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    @Balls Deep: Wow. You weren’t the one that was high on Thornton earlier this year were you?

  135. RonWashington'sStache says:
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    @Balls Deep: In Grey We Trust. I’m sorry that you don’t agree. Maybe you should go elsewhere for your fantasy needs.

  136. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    Adam Lind 3 for 3 tonight with 2 home runs. Hitting over .330 for his career in Texas.

  137. the grate one says:
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    grey, darren oliver or vicente padilla if youre really trolling for saves?

    thanks

  138. Steve says:
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    Sure glad I burned my #7 waiver spot on Adam Lind in the RCL.

  139. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Steve: yeah i noticed you scarfing him up

  140. Steve says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC: Not doing me much good today. Can’t get any traction. Kershaw hurt me again.

  141. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    i know young wasnt throwing that great but damn,let him finish the 5th and he can get the win

  142. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Steve: bay and ike davis helping me out,delarosa hanging in there

  143. Steve says:
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    Effing Hudson – here we go.

    Al – I have De La Rosa in H2H so need him to hang in there. My opponent has Floyd and Coke shat on me.

  144. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    grady 2 more doubles and a hr,,im really glad for him but im glad i drafted him

  145. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    yeah,that coke line wasnt any good

  146. nyydj2 says:
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    Thornton in for the save, lol.

  147. nyydj2 says:
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    Hey Hans, where is Santos?

  148. Eddy says:
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    Why was Thornton even allowed in the 9th inning?

  149. nyydj2 says:
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    and Thornton proptly walks Tex and Ozzie goes to Santos..(picturing Hans now doing the Blitzkreig Bop).

  150. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    i own a-rod and i hope he takes thornton deep,i have santos to,crazy ozzie

  151. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    serriously,ozzie is a friking idiot,if santos does the job,stop screwing with all your players heads

  152. nyydj2 says:
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    Chisox OF plunges into the wall to snag an Arod drive, would have been the game.

  153. nyydj2 says:
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    OMG. same OF makes a huge diving catch on a Cano drive that would have won the game too. Game over but Santos got drilled getting that save. Lillechrist? Two insane plays to end the game.

  154. wilsoniam says:
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    grey, when does hosmer get the call???

  155. Steve says:
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    This shit in Arizona is going to make me cry.

  156. Busta says:
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    Narveson for Hellickson or J.Zimmermann?

  157. WDE05 says:
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    My team’s 9/26 on the day with 3 doubles…and only 1 RBI. Its uncanny how rarely my guys come up with RISP.

  158. B.J. says:
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    @Grey,

    One more question, which side would you rather have Team A gets Jay Bruce Team B gets Mat Latos

    Team B has McCutchen, J-Up and Grady in the OF.

  159. Carl Spackler says:
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    Mike Leake, or Naverson? Standard 5×5 league

  160. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Busta: id go hellickson@B.J.: since team b can afford to noy have bruce i like it,if latos returns to form,you have an ace

  161. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Carl Spackler: thier both 5th starters,id say who ever has the easiest next 2 or 3 starts

  162. dja says:
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    how would you rank the following for the rest of the year? grady, bjupton, granderson, pence?

    i need to trade at least one, and i am trying to target a gallardo or something, if i can get it. i am sick of benching home runs.

  163. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    frank gets the save,im loving it

  164. Hans says:
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    @nyydj2 hey a save is a save, but I still think Santos is obviously the guy to own in that bullpen…ahhhh the hell with it Santos for President. The Blitzkrieg Bop got a good laugh out of me though…..

  165. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    no he doesnt i was hoping that was fransisco rod,pain meds are working well wiyj a few margaritas,hehe

  166. BKK says:
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    12 Team H2H (not our league Tony) Holds league so there are many SP on waivers. I’d be dropping the 2nd guy

    Coghlan or Markakis

    Kennedy or Kuroda

  167. Steve says:
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    @Steve: OK. Correct that. I am crying. Sniff.

  168. kangaroo hops says:
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    @nyydj2–Hold your tongue. It’s pretty clear Ozzie was throwing Thornton in to play the lefty matchup. Santos was warming up the whole time.

  169. nyydj2 says:
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    Hey Hans, ARod and Cano both tagged him good but he was throwing some serious heat and he looked very confident, he had the swag and demeanor of a closer. First time I’ve seen him this year and after watching Thornton, I have to agree with you.

  170. nyydj2 says:
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    @kangaroo hops: Did not see Santos warming until Thornton was pitching to a righty hitting Tex, after the lefty Granderson sacrificed Jeter into scoring position, he still left him in to face Tex batting right.

  171. Steve says:
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    @kangaroo hops: @nyydj2: Maybe Ozzie has Thornton in a Holds league.

  172. Steve says:
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    Jesus – had some high hopes for today in the RCL with Kershaw, Oswalt and Hudson all going…

  173. Tony tone says:
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    Drop Hill for Kuo or Oliver? Also, Oswalt or Mauer In a keeper?

  174. BKK says:
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    @Steve: me too.

  175. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Steve: your allowed to use foul language after that line from those pitchers

  176. Steve says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC: It’s annoying all right. And I’ve got no roster flexibility to ship in some MR guys to help out with my ratios.

    My hitters not hitting doesn’t help either.

  177. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Steve: yeah,its the same for everyone but the smallroster size in rcl can really put you in a pinch,especially with a guy like pena not producing,if you drop him to sub for him till he hiys,someone else snags him

  178. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    anyone know what happened to crisp?he hit into a fielders choice and was pulled for a pinch runner,again in the rcl,league cant drop him,and cant drop a closer or 1 of my starters,yeah im whinning to steve

  179. wilsoniam says:
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    @al koholic: in regards to crisp, they said it was tightness in his quad so they pulled him

  180. Steve says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC: Or you have to use your bench for all your injured guys.

  181. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Steve: yeah but at this point id have to drop a closer or my worst starter who would be a guy i really like britton

  182. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    yes cards,give my man boggs a shot at the save and hopefully lyon the loss

  183. Wilson's Beard says:
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    How would you rank these second basemen for the rest of the year: Johnson, Cuddyer, Espinosa?

  184. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Wilson’s Beard: close,i like espinosa the most but i think he could be last of that group

  185. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    boggs looking like shat,blew the save,can he keep from losing

  186. WDE05 says:
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    My pitchers so far this week…

    Narveson – 7 ERs
    Young – 3 ER in 4.1 3 HRs allowed.
    Buchholz- 4 ER 2.1 WHIP
    Harang- 8 ER 3 HRs allowed

    Fucking ridiculous. Last week my staff had a 2.65 ERA and a .96 WHIP with 8 wins.

  187. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Niemann @ Twins or Gorz v Mets tomorrow?

  188. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Steve: the mets are hitting the ball lately,i dont like that matchup,
    im sure after that terrible 4 hit inning,there will be closing comittee back in St. louis,im mean that was real bad

  189. AnotherFalstaff says:
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    @Grey – Buchholz is so bad I’m considering dropping him for Homer or Santos. Lakers involved in a close one!

  190. Steve says:
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    Stupid Arizona relievers better not f*** this up.

  191. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Steve: thier trying to

  192. Eng says:
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    @Steve: Someone dropped Lind? That was moronic even before tonight’s game. Is it an 8 or 10 teamer?

  193. Steve says:
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    @Eng: Was in the RCL and was last week sometime I think. He had been sucking pretty bad.

  194. Steve says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC: Mets only hit .200 against Gorz. Reyes 2-12, Wright 3-12. Though Ike is 3-5.

  195. Lava says:
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    @WDE05: I guess we’ve learned the hard way about hodgepadres.

  196. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Steve: im just really liking bay this year,with ike,wright and beltran ,that lineup is pretty good these days,but we cant sit pitchers against everyone,gorz has a bit high era but whip and k,s are nice

  197. Wilsonian says:
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    Who wins:

    Andrus/Gordon for Drew/pick of Lind, Frenchy, Napoli?

    I have the Andrus side now. I would probably take Lind of the choices as I’ve got Wieters now and don’t see the need for Nap. What do you guys think?

  198. aj says:
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    carlos gomes or mike alviles short term

  199. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Evening sir.

    Niemann @ Twins or Gorz v Mets tomorrow – or stay away?

    It’s H2H and opponent has two starts to my one.

  200. chata says:
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    haha .

    lyons blows the save and picks up the win ……. MOUNTAINTOP !!

  201. chata says:
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    @Grey:
    @Steve:

    pick a side , please :

    a-gon / liriano / marcum
    or
    butler / c.c / verlander

    thanks , guys .

  202. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @aj: Aviles

    @Steve: Stay away.

    @chata: Ha

    @chata: A-Gon… It’s fair though.

  203. Steve says:
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    @Grey: You’re a legend. Thanks.

  204. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    new season of deadliest catch,jake got caught smoking dope,

Comments are closed.