I sure wish Grey would do his 2015 fantasy baseball rankings.  Wait, I am Grey and this is those rankings.  Holy crapballs, this is the greatest day ever!  Now, only 400,000 words more until I finish my top 400 and I’ll be done.  Worst day ever!  Damn, that excitement was fleeting.  Well, not for you because you don’t have to write all the rankings.  You lucky son of a gun!  I wish I were you… *wavy lines*  Hey, why am I balding and wearing sweatpants?  *wavy lines*  Hmm, maybe we’re okay with who we are.  Now before we get into the top 10 for 2015 fantasy baseball (though I imagine every single one of you has skipped this intro paragraph), I’m gonna lay some ground rules.  First, keep your hands and legs inside the trolley.  Second, send me all your money.  Damn, tried to trick you!  Okay, here’s where you follow us on Twitter.  Here’s where you follow us on Facebook.  Here’s our fantasy baseball player rater.  Here’s our fantasy baseball team name generator.  Here is all of our 2015 fantasy baseball rankings.  Here’s the position eligibility chart for 2015 fantasy baseball.  And here is a picture of my son.  What a punim!  You may not get all of those links in such a handy, easy-to-use format ever again this year, so make proper note.  Now my expositional half insists I breakdown some generalizations about these 2015 fantasy baseball rankings.  The 2015 fantasy baseball rankings will be an ever-evolving mass like the blob.  This fantasy baseball top 10 for 2015 list is as of right now and could potentially change with a big injury or Mike Trout quitting baseball because he’s bored with being the best and wants to play competitive Mahjong.  So while it is the 2015 fantasy baseball gospel, take it with a tablet of salt.  Tomorrow we will cover the rest of the top twenty for 2015 fantasy baseball, then we will go around the horn with a top 20 list for every position.  Then for pitchers and outfielders, I’ll turn the dial to 100.  Listed next to each player are my 2015 projections.  Did I consult with whoever else does projections?  It would be ignorant not to, but in the end they are my projections.  Players need 10 games at a position to get included in the positional rankings.  Finally, as with each list in the 2015 fantasy baseball rankings, I will be mentioning where I see tiers start and stop.  I look at tiers like this, if Giancarlo Stanton and Paul Goldschmidt are in the same tier, it doesn’t matter if one guy is ranked 2nd and one guy is ranked 5th, they’re both very close.  It comes down to personal preference.  I would prefer the guy at number two better than the guy at five, but you do you, I’ll do me and let’s hope we don’t go blind.  Anyway, here’s the top 10 for 2015 fantasy baseball:

1. Mike Trout – This is the first tier.  This tier goes from here until here.  I call this tier, “No one else is Mike Trout.”  For a few years now, I’ve put other players in Mike Trout’s tier, but, brucely, there’s no one else that belongs in Mike Trout’s tier.  He wins leagues on his own.  If you win the fantasy lottery and get to draft first and you don’t draft Trout, then you are daft, which is the beginning to this fantasy baseball tongue twister.  You are daft if you draft anyone but Trout down by the sea-sharrio; then sit back and peep this sce-nahr-i-o.  Trout’s floor is 30 HRs, 15 SBs, .275.  Or to get punny on your ass, Trout’s plankton on better than the fourth best hitter in fantasy.  That’s right, McCutchen can’t touch Trout’s floor.  And why only expect the worst from Trout?  Again for emphasis, why would we expect the worst from Trout, still only 23 years old?  As Kendrick Lamar would say, ya fish don’t kill my vibe.  Where’s Trout living?  In roe housing.  Take it, Highlights.  2015 Projections:  108/33/106/.281/20

2. Giancarlo Stanton – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Goldschmidt.  I call this tier, “You got the 2nd pick, so flip a coin.”  What I mean by the tier name is, after Trout, there’s a few guys you can draft that all have different reasons for being drafted 2nd.  I put them in this order due to a mix of floor and ceiling.  Stanton’s floor feels stable at 32 HRs and his ceiling feels high; think 50 HRs.  If there’s one hitter that could pass Trout for fantasy value, I’d take Giancarlo’s chances.  Or to misquote Henny Youngman, I take Giancarlo’s chances everywhere and they always find their way back in my dreams.  Now, because Giancarlo seems to have blocked my calls and I’m forbidden from going within 500 feet of him, I will need to leave a poem for him here and hope he gets it.  I call this poem, “You Must Be Tired Because You Keep Running Through My Mind.”

You could rule the world by hitting those white stitched-up spheres,
When you face the Brewers next year, they’ll be tears for Fiers.
I put my heart on eBay and there was only one bid,
It was for $325 million, which is around half that in quid.
Okay, so you’re my honey,
Like ODB say, now give me my money!
Together we’d be in heaven,
For 2015 Projections: 93/43/109/.270/seven.

3. Jose Abreu – You can look Abreu’s 2014 one of two ways.  One way to look at it is he was on pace for 50 homers when they went to the All-Star break.  The other way to look at it is he only hit 7 homers in the 2nd half.  It’s a glass is half full vs. half empty scenario.  Did you know that if you were to pour the half empty glass into a smaller glass it would be a full glass?  Yeah, I think deeply.  Take his 7 post-ASB homers and pour them into a smaller glass labeled “Post-All-Star break” when his K-rate went down, his OBP went up to .435 from .342 and his batting average went up to .350 from .292.  The half glass of water is now running over with other wonderfulness in the smaller glass.  McCutchen led the league last year with a .410 OBP (yeah, that’s pathetic compared to five years ago), and Abreu had a .435 OBP in the 2nd half.  Prettttay, prettttay good.  On a side note that I like to call Fun With Baseball Stats.  The Grande Dolor had exactly 18 homers with the bases empty and 18 homers with men on base.  Even crazier, he had exactly 36 runs from those 36 homers.  If you found that even crazier, I have 500 Gregg Jefferies rookie cards to sell you.  Frank Thomas won’t be drafting The Grande Dolor third, but that’s because he drinks Campari straight up because he’s already got the bitters, but I will be.  2015 Projections: 86/32/110/.306/4

4. Andrew McCutchen – Remember way back in Giancarlo’s blurb how I was talking about floors and ceilings and you were like, “Is Grey building a house?” and I was like, “No, I don’t even know the difference between screwdrivers,” and you were like, “Screwdrivers?  Are you talking dirty to me?” and then we started cackling and our neighbor knocked on the door and said, “Keep your cackling down,” and we did until you showed me that pic that you thought looked like a cross between a young Roger Ebert and our very own JB?  Ah, yes, good times.  Now we’re back to business!  McCutchen’s stats are like they’re on the 7 1/2 floor in the Mertin-Flemmer Building — low ceiling, high floor.  2015 Projections:  92/22/94/.309/20

5. Paul Goldschmidt – Yes, two of the top five guys had season-ending injuries prior to mid-September last year.  Gee, thanks for raining on my parade, Bobby Darin.  You’re swell!  By the by, Bobby Darin was famous for Don’t Rain on my Parade, Splish Splash and Beyond the Sea.  Is it me or was Bobby Darin into watersports?  So, Au Shizz, like Giancarlo, had a season-ending injury.  Unlike Giancarlo, I have some pause on Goldschmidt’s injury, since it was a fractured left hand, and Giancarlo’s was just a fractured dimple.  No one ever hit 30 homers on dimples alone.  Though Jose Canseco’s could’ve prolly hit 17 to 20.  Also, prior to the left hand injury, Goldschmidt’s power looked closer to 27-ish than 35-ish.  All indications are that Au Shizz will be fully healed, and I hate to question a novio of mine, but I have so0me trepidation, so there ya go.  Still, he is only 27 years old, capable of 35 HRs and .300+ average and I can’t drop him any lower for fear I’ll have my Au Shizz Fan Boy card revoked.  I pay $19.99/month for this stupid card!  2015 Projections:  94/29/103/.292/12

6. Adam Jones – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Miggy.  I call this tier, “Your safeword.”  You’re in the throes of a fantasy draft.  You’re choosing sixth overall and the draft plays out exactly as it is above.  1-5 are gone and suddenly you’re pushed up against the wall.  The binds tighten for who you can choose.  A bead of sweat slowly drips down your forehead.  The haunting words, “Water, water everywhere, not a drop to drink,” ring in your head.  An elderly Asian woman spreads hot wax on your hairy buttocks.  You gulp, she rips the wax and you scream.  You’re not sure why you’re getting a Brazilian wax while you draft.  Something about wanting to do more things together with your woman.  You let the pain continue for another 89 seconds.  Finally, with one second to go before you get autopicked, you say your safeword:  Adam Jones.  You feel a tinge of sorrow that you had to say your safeword, but you’re at least grateful you’re out of pain, until the elderly Asian woman turns you over and begins to manscape your front.  Jones isn’t going to leave you feeling like you won your draft in the first round (or anyone in this tier), but it’s four years in a row now that he’s played at least 151 games and has put up number one outfielder stats.  I’d prefer to say my safeword in the first round and save the kinky, risky shizz for the 10th round.  2015 Projections:  90/28/101/.280/10

7. Edwin Encarnacion – He’s averaged 37 home runs over the last three years and hasn’t hit below .268 in any of those years.  Let’s write “Good news” on that.  He hasn’t played in more than 151 games in any season of his career, last year he played in 128 games and he’s now 32 years old.  Let’s write “Bad news” on that.  His walk rate went down below its pre-breakout level, his K-rate went above his pre-breakout level and his line drive rate dropped.  On that, let’s write “More Bad News.”  Let’s go back to the “Good News” and remember only three players hit 37 homers last year and Edwin has averaged that over the last three years.  2015 Projections:  87/37/107/.272/5

8. Miguel Cabrera – This is the lowest I’ve ever ranked Miggy since I started this blog in 2007.  You remember 2007.  It was the year when you promised yourself, “If I can just get to 2015, I’ll be rich and successful and will have wiped out Ebola!”  Don’t worry, there’s always your 2008 dream, which was, “If I can get to 2015, I’ll be rich and successful and will have wiped out Ebola!  And if not 2015, then by 2016 for sure!”  I nearly ranked Swiggy up around 3rd overall, but there’s word that he won’t be ready for Opening Day.  I hate that.  I’m an injury-phobe.  If a player’s injured, I stay far away.  Swigs, though, played hurt last year, and still had a decent year.  He seems capable of having solid years deep into his 30s, a’la his teammate and last year’s favorite Zombino, Victor Martinez.  As for the big Miggy years, I think they’re only closer in your rear view mirror.  2015 Projections: 95/27/106/.305/1

9. Anthony Rizzo – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the top 20 for 2015 fantasy baseball.  I call this tier, “The ceiling can’t hold us.”  I’m a big believer in a player’s third season is their breakout and around the level we can expect from them give or take a few stats.  As they move towards the age 28, it’s usually getting more stats.  As they move past the age 28 year, it’s usually subtracting some stats.  It’s pretty rudimentary, but I’ve had the best fantasy baseball rankings for the last two years, so whether you believe in this anecdotal evidence or not is irrelevant.  I believe in it and it works.  Natch!  Last year, I was crazy high on Rizzo, and it paid off.  He was headed into his third full year and ready to explode.  Explode he did — 32 HRs, 5 SBs and .286.  There’s nothing in those numbers you should be worried about.  Going into last year, there was some concern he couldn’t hit lefties.  Last year, he hit .300 with 8 homers off southpaws.  This is why I get so infuriated when young players are platooned without ample opportunity to show they can hit same-sided pitchers.  Infuriated, y’all!  Rizzo is only 25 years old and getting better.  Could he be Au Shizz as soon as 2015?  I have no doubt.  Au Rizz!  2015 Projections:  93/36/100/.262/7

10. Carlos Gomez – I’m fairly confident in my rankings up until this point.  Maybe Jose Daria Abreu only hits 7 homers in the first half and we realize he was a 7-homer half hitter and not a 29-homer half hitter.  Maybe dog butts are a passageway to the future and that’s where the term hindsight came from.  Something always goes wrong with the top 12 that is somewhat unforeseeable without butt-sniffing dogs.  The reason why I say that now is Carlos Gomez’s stats the past three years definitely make the case for him to be ranked here, but he’s the first player I’m truly scared about disappointing.  The reason why I still ranked him here is because there’s no scientific evidence to make me worry, it’s just my gut and I just ate a tuna sandwich that smelled funny.  The last two years he’s hit .284, and last year he even cut his Ks and upped his walks.  Age can be tricky for speed, he’s 29 years old and last year he stole the fewest bags of the last three years.  He still stole 34 bases though, so hold the phone on calling the Mayans on the Gomezcalypse.  2015 Projections:  89/24/70/.279/28

328 Comments
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Eddie
Eddie
7 years ago

But is there great keeper value in Cutch? I mean I am losing a 1st round pick for him as to where I would be losing a 20th round pick for Rendon

Eddie
Eddie
7 years ago

Grey.. I’m in a little bit of a pickle here. I own Abreu, Jones, McCutchen, Rendon and Rizzo…….. And yes, I won my fantasy league last year. Who would your keepers be in order? I am definitely keeping Abreu since I am losing my 8th round pick. These are the rounds (and the pick I would lose) I got the others last year…

McCutchen (1)
Jones (3)
Abreu (8)
Rizzo (7)
Rendon (20)

Bye Felicia
Bye Felicia
7 years ago

Mc Rankings = I’M LOVING IT
Adonis… Giancarlo…. * Swooning in poon

asdfasdf
asdfasdf
7 years ago

Hey Grey, what do you think of Wada in a dynasty? How would you rank him with Volquez and Taylor Jordan? By the way we use QS instead of wins and also use K/9. Thanks a lot!

Montezuma's Revenge... right now
Montezuma's Revenge... right now
Reply to  asdfasdf
7 years ago

@asdfasdf: just guessing that anybody is nearly any young pitcher with chance to stick as SP might be higher than volquez in anything with K/9

jal179
jal179
7 years ago

Getting Trout is like getting Gretzky in the 80s– u get him u win.

Beyond him, I’m very frisky for the Dolor or Rizzo in the first with a side of Joey Bats or Carlos Gomez in the 2nd, and Donaldson in the 3rd. Cmon spring

The badger
The badger
7 years ago

I’ve been a follower on the Grey Train for a few years now and I’m loving that the rankings have begun BUT

This top 10 is pure lunacy. It could end up being right but too many risky plays for my taste. Take out Abreu, Rendon, Rizzo and Jones and hello to Kershaw, C Gomez, R Cano and J Bautista

Just an opinion but I like safety in my first round not one season wonders who are just as likely to fall quite a bit.

First time disagreeing with the boss since I turned up here too

Montezuma's Revenge... right now
Montezuma's Revenge... right now
Reply to  The badger
7 years ago

@The badger: the lack of kershaw doesn’t have anything to do with “reaching” or recency bias (like it at least could be with the hitters); there’s mountains of theory and data on this site for years about just why pitchers aren’t ranked in top end of rankings. And saying Jones is a one season wonder leads us to the wonder of whether or not you actually read the above. And if Jones is somehow a one season wonder what would that make Cargo 2?

Buge Hoobs
Buge Hoobs
7 years ago

Eww, an ever so rare f*bomb!
Can’t wait for your positional rankings and pairings!!

Wake Up
Wake Up
Reply to  Buge Hoobs
7 years ago

@Buge Hoobs: agreed…and agreed

GhostTownSteve
GhostTownSteve
7 years ago

From the department of what could go rwong department

I love the Rendon call, Albright. Just the kind of forecast that has served you well in the past. So many of the peripherals support this prediction. ISO, BB/K rate, SB%, batted ball distance, prospect status, just a ton to say, not only repeatable with upside.

I really only found two things to give me paws. One is there is some suggestion of a sag in the splits. His Sept/Oct was bolstered by a very high BABIP. But for the most part his splits are luck consistent. Not too much of a concern.

Here’s my thing. He mashed fastballs last year. 13th best vs the fastball among qualified players per Fangraphs. And he saw a lot of fastballs. One of 28 players to see 60% or more fastballs, one of only three players to see 60% or more fastball and hit at least 20 home runs (A. Gonzalez, M. Trout). Just to give you an idea who sees fastballs, the top 5 last year were Revere, Hamilton, Span, Jeter and D. Gordon. Segura, Aoki, LeMahie, Eaton, Andrus, Hechavarria all on the list of top 20 fastballs faced. He also saw a fair number of strikes. Only Longoria and K. Davis (who were just ahead of him in Ks seen) saw as many strikes and also hit 20+ homers. In other words, the league treated him like a speed guy. When a guy has a season like Rendon had last year the league invariable increases their focus on getting him out. It seems clear that the approach suggested by the numbers is few fastballs and more out of the zone. His BB rate did climb in the second half and his ISO fell 40 points while his OBP went up. Any time you have a player with a track record this short, league adjustments always need to be part of the equation.

I still really like the boldness of the pick but something about it also sets off spider sense. I’ll see if I can dig up anything more on him.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  GhostTownSteve
7 years ago

@GhostTownSteve: welcome back buttermaker!

Wake Up
Wake Up
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: you know I’m in! FCL !!!

Wake Up
Reply to  GhostTownSteve
7 years ago

@GhostTownSteve: Please tell me that this is so…this is he…this is so he…him!

When Gregor Blanco woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a monstrous vermin…

Jw
Jw
Reply to  GhostTownSteve
7 years ago

Please don’t dig up anymore. You over analyzed the fuck out of the pick and now we all have a migraine

Kid A
Kid A
Reply to  GhostTownSteve
7 years ago

@GhostTownSteve: the prodigal son returns. don’t ever leave us again, you beautiful bastard.

Banana
Banana
7 years ago

Grey, you’re my favorite

Jw
Jw
7 years ago

Ballsy putting Rendon at 10 but I like it. Dude has upside written all over his Latin mustache

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

Question about draft strategy and using your ranks… Let’s say I want to draft using your ranks (not too far from the truth). Let’s also say that most of my league drafts according to how ESPN pre-draft ranking is (later in the draft they consider needs). I found out last year that ESPN allows you to substitute your ranking for their ranking for drafting purposes, so you can see who’s left on the draft board sorted according to you rankings. I did that last year and had a good draft but I found that I could have done a lot better.

For example, you and I both thought Jose Bautista was going to be a lot better than ESPN thought. You had him 14. I had him 18. ESPN had him 46th! I ended up picking him with the 23rd overall pick (3.3 in a 10 team draft) when there was a decent chance I could have waited until my 43rd pick (again assuming my league mates go by ESPN ranking).

So the question is how I should adjust the ranks I put in for drafting purposes so I am optimizing the value my picks (value in this case is the difference between when I pick a player and where I have him ranked).

My first reaction was, if I value someone higher than ESPN does, take the player’s ESPN rank and subtract a certain number. If I value someone less than ESPN does, rank that player with the same ranking I have.

Does that sound right? If so, what do you think that “certain number” is? Should I set the certain number as a percentage of the difference between the 2 ranks? So in Bautista’s case, maybe I subtract 30% of the difference, so I would rank him 41 instead as compared to ESPN’s 46. If so, what’s a best guess at a percentage?

If it doesn’t sound right, what would you suggest?

I unfortunately won’t know until 5 minutes before the draft what order and though I’d like to have both lists in front of me, after the first couple of rounds our draft tends to get a lot faster – the league manger moves the amount of time from 90 seconds to 30 seconds just to get it done. So….if I have my best guess ranking considering the above definition of value in the system it would make drafting a lot easier and “accurate.”

Tom
Tom
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Thanks for the reply. The problem is when the draft gets to 30 seconds or less starting in the 4th round (most of my league mates would make their picks in 20 seconds or less to be safe especially if some are just picking the next ranked ESPN guy), all of the sudden it’s way to hard to keep up with scratching guys off of my rankings while checking what my needs vs who’s left all while players are yelling trash talk etc.

Any other thoughts about how to accomplish this?

Aubrey Plaza's Pillow
Aubrey Plaza's Pillow
Reply to  Tom
7 years ago

@Tom: do mocks at whatever site you’re drafting for, have both your own ranks and site’s, so you can flip back and forth (i know this is easily doable in yahoo, anyway), get ready with who you want, but like Grey said, get a feel for where those guys usually go, and you won’t have to grab them as high as you have them ranked sometimes. If the time is a problem only join leagues with 90 seconds per pick.

Kid A
Kid A
7 years ago

Rankings day AND the return of Crammy all at once?

Piddle Piddle Piddle.

Now gimme some OTS, and I’ll start doing ass doughnuts on the carpet like a chihuahua with a tapeworm…

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Kid A
7 years ago

@Kid A: I talked to him via email today, give it some time to make your donuts

Wake Up
Reply to  Kid A
7 years ago

@Kid A: And, Mo comes out of retirement to close out the series!

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Kid A
7 years ago

@Kid A: start making donuts

Bocephus
Bocephus
7 years ago

10 team keeper

Already keeping Goldschmidt (Rd 7), B Hamilton (Rd 17), and A Chapman (Rd 19)

Can keep 3 of the following:

Kershaw (Rd 2)
G. Cole (Rd 20)
B. Dozier (Rd 22)
K. Bryant (Rd 22)
J. Pederson (Rd 22)

Which 3 to keep? Also, keep Kershaw or trade him for someone with more value?

Thanks, Grey!

Oranje
Oranje
7 years ago

Keeper and contract league…here are my decisions so far…any changes?
G. Stanton: 4 year contract $29
A. Rendon: 2 year contract $5
E. Hosmer: 2 year contract $23
B. Posey: 2 year contract $25
(All of these contracts lose a year at the start of the season)
Keepers with next year’s price:
S. Strasburg: $21
T. Tulowitski: $29
T. Frazier: $10
B. Harper $10

My other options to wild card are J. Arrieta ($5), R. Castillo @ $5, or D. Gordon @ $7. Any changes to my keepers? Thanks.

Oranje
Oranje
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Sorry…The contracted players are kept. My initial thoughts are to keep Tulo, Strasburg, Harper, and Frazier as my additional keepers. Do you agree with these keepers or would you keep one or more of the following: Arrieta, Gordon, Castillo…I also have Hamels and Greinke to choose from but they lack the value of the other player.

MasterofGrond
MasterofGrond
7 years ago

So hype for another season of fantasy baseball where my team will crap the bed more violently than me after a dozen ex-lax and bean tacos while I pine for the glory days of the 2013 RCL.

tanner
tanner
7 years ago

I have Rizzo in a dynasty league.. how far ahead of a Freeman is he?

I have a offer of Freeman + Betts for Rizzo… is that worth biting on?

tanner
tanner
Reply to  tanner
7 years ago

@tanner:

I should clarify… 30 man rosters… 10 keepers a team. HTH points league where SP rules due to high points for QS and W, -1 per K for hitters.

nick the dick
nick the dick
7 years ago

Hey G, i’m not really a big fan of your ranking posts and I could take or leave January Grey. Pretty sub par effort if you ask me. I expect much more from you.

(Disclaimer: This is an attempt to keep you humble and grounded amongst the incessant praises. The views expressed in the above comment are solely the opinion of nobody. January Grey, this post, and any proceeding posts are clearly amazing. Readers are compensated with a wealth of knowledge and humor. This has been a free advertisement of NtD Enterprises LLC)

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick: the non ass kiss ass kiss. Brilliant!

Wake Up
Wake Up
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick: that is literally the best comment in the history of the 6000 year old world…

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Wake Up
7 years ago

@J-FOH: @Wake Up: sometimes you gotta remind the man basking in the glow of the LA sun that he is from the Jersey slums…

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: We will never forget

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick: hey it rained for like two days *looks out window* oh sorry sun is back out. time to throw on some shorts and flip flops.

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: Hey it rained here today too! After 2 days of snow…Nice sheet of ice we got going on now. Blistering 35 degrees today. Nice change of pace from the teens its been. Your rains and my rains ain’t the same! Cut from a different cloud.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick: whats a sheet of ice. I only know about the cubes

Wake Up
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: They prolly have trees…with leaves, too…google them…they’re majestic…

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Wake Up
7 years ago

@Wake Up: I have a fake tree next to my palm tree

Wake Up
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: *throws a flip flop at the computer screen*

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: I like how you’re super stingy with the Ha’s today too. Good luck trying to get a capital A, let alone an exclamation point.

Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick: Right? I have a spreadsheet set up where I’ve logged all my “Ha’s”, “HA’s” & “HA’s!” in order to calculate my weighted and unweighted Ha/HA, Ha/HA!, & HA/HA! ratios. So far, I’m way below league average.

**sad emoticon**

J-FOH
J-FOH

@Mr. Han’s Militant Vegans No More: where do you put awesome? gotcha? totally?

Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: peripherals. I’m still way under league average there too (~RCL ranking of 459).

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: dont get much worse than gotcha

Wake Up
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick: yup…

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Wake Up
7 years ago

@Wake Up: I’ll tell ya, a huh? always hurts. It’s like getting an F on homework you worked really hard on.

Wake Up
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick: I read that too fast…thought you said something about how you really worked a hard on…

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Wake Up
7 years ago

@Wake Up: thats cuz youve watched one too many Lifetime movies or Van Halen videos

Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick: Wow! I’ve always been a back of the classroom kinda person… you know, not really caring. But this is going to be tough. Maybe I need to go to AAA or AA commenting. Do they have classes???

**confused/sad/low self-esteem/what is life really all about emoticon**

nick the dick
nick the dick

@Mr. Han’s Militant Vegans No More: if at first you dont succeed, cry cry again

nick the dick
nick the dick

@Mr. Han’s Militant Vegans No More: if only we could all have Wake’s magical powers of HA

Wake Up
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick:
Lifetime…gotcha

Van Halen videos…huh?

Now, I’m seeing that you only said one F…a sign?

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Wake Up
7 years ago

@Wake Up: Just when im riding high you hit me with a gotcha….as if youve never been hot for teacher

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Wake Up
7 years ago

@Wake Up: and i aint no one F!! #fact of the day

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Wake Up
7 years ago

@Wake Up: I can’t tell if you like Nick or you think he’s a dix?

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick: what does van halen and lifetime have to do with each other and choose your words wisely hip hop

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: teachers giving students hard ons. Didnt think it was that far of a reach

Wake Up
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: Got nothing but love for all of the Razzra…possible exception: Jeremy!

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick: I never got wood from a Lifetime movie…nor do I really watch them. Good to know you are such a lifetime fan.

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: I think youre missing what im saying here. I know Lifetime movies have alot of teachers seducing students. Hot For Teacher is Van Halen, yes? *checks google* See it does make sense! I was neither saying I watch Lifetime nor listen to Van Halen.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick: you like Lifetime movies, own it.

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: Tis’ true. Milf city and strewn with young hotties bringing the drama, whats not to like?

Wake Up
Reply to  nick the dick
7 years ago

@nick the dick:

well played!
I can tell you one secret that Grey shared with me years ago…he always/only writes wearing mom jeans…now, I only type wearing yoga pants…
You just gotta find YOUR inner britches!

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Wake Up
7 years ago

@Wake Up: yoga pants have a way of making any ass look amazing and I assume youre no exception so I can see the logic behind it. Me? I only read Razzball bottomless as to not ruin any freshly laundered garments during Giancarlo blurbs

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Ain’t no half steppin!

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: I did and it was as awesome as it was unexpected.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: the sleeves are rolled up!…most likely because it’s too warm for long sleeves. But rolled up nonetheless

Kittywrangler
Kittywrangler
7 years ago

The boys down at the station said you may have an infestation ?

mark
mark
7 years ago

5X5 Roto with the following scoring cats…. OBP, Runs, HR, RBI, SB-CS…..Wins, Loses, ERA, K, Saves

Would you keep…..the always hurt Carlos Gonzalez or the aging Adam Wainwright?

Wake Up
Wake Up
Reply to  mark
7 years ago

@mark: CartGo…

mark
mark
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Thanks Guys

Jon
Jon
7 years ago

Would you trade Cobb for Kipnis?

Wake Up
Wake Up
Reply to  Jon
7 years ago

@Jon: kipnis side

Jon
Jon
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: I’m really anxious to see where you have Kipnis this year. An owner in my league is selling, I could use a 2B, and I’m trying to settle on a fair pitcher price. Cobb might be it. Thanks!

Wake Up
Wake Up
7 years ago

Wow. This is weird, I had Trout ranked first too! You me? Me you? Ha choo, spit…if you’re standing, sit…pitcher in the first, don’t want none of it…pacman hardwoods…all over it…don’t never quit…Abreu, second half…just a blip…a busted lip…like su New novio…r to the izzo plus six…HaHa to the Dix!

Wake Up
Wake Up
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Rendon the New Cano?

Nice poetry skills!

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: yeah, you would fit in with the japanese

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: oh but i will tell you. Stature!.. you might be kinda tall in Tokyo. But still, thats the only comp. I think that would make a great band name. Kinda Tall in Tokyo!

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: more punk rock

Sky
Sky
7 years ago

I came, I saw, I read. All I gots ta say is NOLAN ARENADO FO LIFE

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Sky
7 years ago

@Sky: SKY! you have your crush, Grey has his and mine is a ?

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: Fantasy crushes….go! Kolten Wong.

Mike
Reply to  Cram It
7 years ago

Ike Davis! [dodges tomato]

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Mike
7 years ago

@Mike: Mike Likes Ike!

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Mike
7 years ago

@Mike: I’m just glad that POS is out of NY.

Mike
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

ya cut me Grey. ya cut me deep.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Cram It
7 years ago

@Cram It: It’s really Avisail, I love the look of young Miggy in his eye. And that he bined Prince’s wife, after what Prince did to me last year he deserves that shizz

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: I see big things from him this year also. I was gonna say him but Wong is just so much cuter.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Cram It
7 years ago

@Cram It: you like small asians?

Gareth
Gareth
7 years ago

I’m personally not picking Adam Jones in the first round.

He’s consistent, but the lack of steals (7 steals last year) is the separator for me. He’s a fast athletic guy. Is there a reason he doesn’t run more?

Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
Reply to  Gareth
7 years ago

@Gareth: so that he does his job/drives the ball and doesn’t get hurt legging out a SB. some of the other metrics described in Rudy’s article show this too, but they seem to be more descriptive than predictive.

Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More

@Mr. Han’s Militant Vegans No More: I knew I didn’t come up with that on my own. I must have been remote viewing Grey’s genius.

ERad
ERad
7 years ago

Look! She came!

And she came too!

Ah, it’s good to be back in the confines of Razzball.

Big Magoo
7 years ago

Ah, my Red Ryder air rifle has arrived. So nice when the first set of rankings is published.

The only major surprise for me is seeing Rendon ahead of Joey Bats. I’m guessing the age is scaring you off on that one.

I’m not sure that Adam Jones is a “safe” pick either, though you can’t argue with his results over the past few years. That 2.8% BB% is really ugly though. He’s had a sub-.320 OBP in three out of the last four seasons. Might be closer to 80 runs than 90. The steals could be settling into that 6-8 range at this point of his career too. I’d take Gomez over Jones without hesitation.

So, the high ceiling tier is to be continued. Don’t let Harper suck you in, Grey. Don’t do it!

Big Magoo
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Upside is great in the mid-late rounds, but a risky upside play in the 2nd? Eh.

That being said, things start looking iffy this year at the back end of the 1st round. Arguments can be made for a bunch of players after that. I just see too much risk in Harper that early on.

If you’re going with upside, might as well be bold. Soler power!

Big Magoo
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: You can’t throw me off of the scent! I know that Harper’s just around the corner, haha. Nice try.

The thing with Jones is that I can easily see a 82/26/90/7/.278 type of line from him this season. Even in the current environment, that doesn’t look like 1st round material to me. The only category that I see him clearly outperforming Gomez in is RBIs. Maybe 2-4 more homers as well. Gomez should have more runs, and about 25 more steals. Average should be about even. I see Gomez as the player with the higher floor, which is why I compared the two. I probably won’t be owning Jones this year unless he slips into the mid-late 2nd round area.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Big Magoo
7 years ago

@Big Magoo: ok, so you’re really Gomez and Gareth is really you?

Big Magoo
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: So I like .280/20/30 players. How can I be Gomez? I still like Gerrit Cole…

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Big Magoo
7 years ago

@Big Magoo: sorry, Gomez agent

Big Magoo
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: It’s not just his lack of walks, though his walk rate last season was just over half of what it was in ’12 and has fallen for two straight years. His ISO dropped below .200 for the first time since ’11, and he seems to be running less as many sluggers do as they start to age. He only scored 88 runs last year with a 40 homer Cruz hitting behind him. Lots of concerns here…

Big Magoo
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: I’m not saying that you don’t like Gomez, just that I’d take him over Jones. I never considered Gomez to be a true 40 steal player, but he’s definitely a 30 steal one.

The question is would you rather have a .280/23/30 player or a .280/28/10 guy? I’d prefer the former over the latter…

Big Magoo
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Gomez has hit .284 in each of the last two seasons across 1,234 plate appearances. I’d say that’s a large enough sample size to determine what type of average can be expected of him going forward…

Big Magoo
Big Magoo
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Deal! I’ll even do my best to avoid talking about Gomez tomorrow…

Big Magoo
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Of course, I love a good debate. Just sayin’ that I’ll leave Gomez and Harper for others to talk about tomorrow if they choose to.

I don’t want to beat a dead horse. You can see that on one of those ASPCA commercials that makes you feel like a monster if you decline to donate any money to their cause.

UL's Toothpick
UL's Toothpick
7 years ago

Man, I have been trying to read between the lines and the tea leaves all winter. Did not see the Rendon ranking coming. I just knew you were going to put Arenado in the top 10 though. Can’t wait for tomorrow…

Tony Rendo
7 years ago

And its Rendons 3rd year!

Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
7 years ago

Grey… Chanca Piedra. Good Stuff!

Tigres
Tigres
7 years ago

Grey, love that you have the boldest top 10 out there. Thanks in advance for making the next four weeks awesome.

Del Griffith
Del Griffith
7 years ago

Good afternoon Grey!

I am very excited to see our novio Stanton ranked #2, I slightly wept last year when you had him as the #10 outfielder.

Quick catcher question. I know you went over Stephen Vogt last week, but with Jaso getting traded in the Zobrist deal does that help him get above 125 games?

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

Curious….when you do your rankings do you take your projections and convert them into z-scores or some such thing to get the order?

Jack
Jack
7 years ago

… and then the Asian women says “at least your not getting your eyebrows done.” Kinda like me saying “you don’t have to re-rank based on OBP”.

Jack
Jack
7 years ago

…and then after the Asian women says your finished and you’re breathing normally again, she exclaims “Ooops, I missed a spot.” I’m sure that displeasure doesn’t rival the displeasure of me asking….any chance you could through in an OBP projection for the rest of the list?

Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo
Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: hell YA

J-FOH
J-FOH
7 years ago

Since everyone is talking about ranks and love I’m going to pass on that and talk about hate and worst cooks in murica. I’m a little iffy on Rendon at 10 but I get it like those pants you wore at the San Diego tour stop you need to make a bold splash. With no more laroach, a kempish time to get a surgery for Werth, the glass twins ( harper and Zim ) I have a feeling the Nats may not be the best place to hit. But alas I’m just playing the Devils advocate. Does Desmond get traded and could those listed above even be considered protection.

Now worst cooks did you watch it last night?

UL's Toothpick
UL's Toothpick
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey:

Michael Taylor going to be a factor.

UL's Toothpick
UL's Toothpick
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey:

Would like to see Taylor play. Hope he can hang.

Werth may disappear for 10 days if he doesn’t hire a better attorney…

UL's Toothpick
UL's Toothpick
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey:

I am with you. Unless Harper goes down he goes to bench or AAA. hell, they may play someone like Mclouth to start the year anyway.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: The jury is out on Desmond deal. Their pitching makes them contenders, like everyone else. With Werth I’m making the parallel with Kemp who chose to have his surgery in January and never came back right for the whole season. With his age and the late surgery he can do his damage on your team cause he wont be on any of mine. Of course, I’m playing devils advocate here and I won’t give you any spoilers for WCA

Alan
Alan
7 years ago

Grey, you know when you are really hungry and then the food comes out and you eat and before the bill comes.

This is like that

Cram It
Cram It
7 years ago

Grey, have you done of these NFBC leagues where the draft is a week a long, 50 rounds, and no in-season pick ups?

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Word. Want to get in the mix for some big money but the unfamiliarity with the format handicaps me off the bat.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Cram It
7 years ago

@Cram It: magoo is well versed in the NFBC, you should talk to him. email me and I can hook you up with him.

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: Boy you really want me to email you. Haha. I responded to your ESPN league invite with my email address.

UL's Toothpick
UL's Toothpick
Reply to  Cram It
7 years ago

@Cram It:
I did an RCL express draft Friday night. 60 seconds per pick, 50 players, no moves, 15 teams. It was a pretty cool rush.

UL's Toothpick
UL's Toothpick
Reply to  UL's Toothpick
7 years ago

@UL’s Toothpick:
Ha. Not RCL. Meant NFBC !!!

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  UL's Toothpick
7 years ago

@UL’s Toothpick: I like where your head is

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  UL's Toothpick
7 years ago

@UL’s Toothpick: Rush aside, do you like your chances? Is that the format where top 3 in your division gets money, but you can score winnings going up against everyone also?

UL's Toothpick
UL's Toothpick
Reply to  Cram It
7 years ago

@Cram It:

Yes. My first year drafting in NFBC. Todd Zola posted that this league was drating so i jumped in. Could have used the War Room though. Steamer likes this team. This is what I got:

C; Ruiz, Salty, Cervelli, Susac
1B; Belt
3B; Donaldson, Uribe, DJ Peterson
CI; Arenado
SS; A Escobar, Suarez
2nd; Bonifacio, Panik
MI; Schoop, Ev Cabrerra
OF; Stanton, Puig, S Pearce, A Eaton, Arcia, M Bourn, Marisnick, Maybin, Brentz
Util; Napoli
Starters (1-7); Cobb, Arrietta, Carrasco, Shields, F Liriano, Pineda, Corbin
Starters (8-17); Colome, Machi, Bundy, AJ Cole, Delgado, D Hale, C Rasmus, D Norris, R Montero, A Nola
RPs; K Jansen, F Rodriguez, Motte, Hunter, Hochevar

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  UL's Toothpick
7 years ago

@UL’s Toothpick: That shizz is deep. I don’t think I’m ready to throw away $150.

MattTruss223
MattTruss223
Reply to  Cram It
7 years ago

@Cram It: I hated the format, felt pretty helpless not being able to make a trade or anything when I was starting Darin Ruf at first because Prince and Nick Swisher were both hurt. BUT, my favorite part of this game is the daily moves and I like to micromanage/rosterbate. It’s also where I think my edge is, so, yea, not my cup of tea having to sit back and watch my team do nothing. There’s other versions of NFBC though, like J-FOH said, Magoo and Oaktown were in a normal type league last year with add/drops via FAAB and all that. I might look into those this season.

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  MattTruss223
7 years ago

@MattTruss223: Yeah I don’t think the 50 man roster, no moves is something I would enjoy. I need to see if there’s a format more up my alley. Like Sky and I were agreeing last year, I like something in between the RCL daily moves craziness and no moves.

Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
Mr. Han's Militant Vegans No More
7 years ago

“First, keep your hands and legs inside the trolley.”

Leads to obscure Simpson’s reference…

“Now, class, remember. Do not stick any part of your body out the window. We all know the tragic story of the young man who stuck his arm out the window and had it ripped off by a big truck coming in the other direction. “

Gareth
Gareth
7 years ago

ICleveland is currently looking like “the day after tomorrow.”

I’m just waiting for Jake Gyllenhaal and a pack of wolves to show up.

Gareth
Gareth
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: We’ve been hit pretty hard by a snowstorm.
I just took the freeway to downtown Cleveland with like Zero visibility.

You West coasters have it easy!

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: the angels love the white guys

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: its crazy white down there in Overly Caucasian County

Gareth
Gareth
7 years ago

I remember you mentioned somewhere that you thought Rizzo would be this year’s Goldshmidt. Your ranking totally backs this up. No Rizzo discount here!

In some ways Rizzo may be a safer 1st round pick than Goldy, Abreu, Cabrera and Encarnacion – because of injury concerns with those guys.

Gareth
Gareth
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Yeah. Injuries can hit anyone at anytime.
It especially sucks when a first rounder suffers this fate.

Andrew D
Andrew D
7 years ago

My sources say ESPN will have Abreu at #22, Rizzo at #29, and Rendon at #47. Going for a 4-peat this year with your rankings. 50% of the time, they work every time!

Det. John Kimble
Det. John Kimble
7 years ago

Grey,

The rankings starting to come in makes my pants smile.Is the War Room tool coming back this year?

SheriffMcRawDawg
SheriffMcRawDawg
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: @Grey: @Grey: OMG!

Carnac
Carnac
7 years ago

Remember last year when Matt Carpenter was trying to creep anonymously in the Razzball comments? “Why can’t I, I mean he, get 130 runs again? And maybe hit twice as many dingers?”

Wonder who will be poking around with such nonsense this year… Victor Martinez? Charlie Blackmon? If anyone’s writing in all lowercase I’ll be quick to accuse them of being Jose Altuve.