Rick Porcello was masterful Friday night, turning in one of the best, most efficient, pitching performances we’ll see all season, holding the New York Yankees to just one hit (a home run) and striking out nine for a complete game win. His only hiccups were a HBP to begin the game and a solo home run to rookie 3rd baseman Miguel Andujar, after which Porcello proceeded to retire the next 21 straight batters with ease. More like Siiiiick Rick, brah *shock emoji* Or Quick Rick? IMHO (the “H” stands for handsome) this was the best start we’ve seen from a Boston pitcher all season, and that’s saying something for a team with Chris Sale on it. The former Cy Young threw first-pitch strikes to 23 batters and threw 68 strikes of the the just 86 pitches to get through this one. Veintidos, which might be the worst nickname ever, moves to 14-4 with a 3.84 ERA and 1.16 WHIP.  Most amazing for me, however, was that a Yankees/Red Sox game took just 2 hours and 15 minutes! It was the fastest Boston/NY game since May 6, 1994! So keeping in that spirit I will wrap this up quick. The last two Sox pitchers to 1-hit the mighty Yankees line up facing the minimum batters were Pedro Martinez in 1999 and Roger Clemens in 1991, and those are some pretty great names to have in your company.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

July 9th at 4pm marks the exact time I’m certain Prospector Ralph’s mind will explode with excitement. That feeling of pure elation can only be achieved in one scenario. Watching the game’s budding talents in the 2017 Futures Game – streaming on MLB.com – after spending countless hours researching and following prospects of this caliber (From the Razzball family and its incredible base of readers, we sincerely thank you for your work Ralph!). Well, maybe there are a few other scenarios. According to BuzzFeed there are 42 others where this pure form of joy and satisfaction arises. They include unraveling knittingcrunching leaves, and breaking the yolk. Aside from the fact that I’m certain breaking the yolk is a sexual innuendo for something completely different, we live in a truly sad world if these things make people as happy as Ralph on Futures Game Sunday.

Please, blog, may I have some more?