SAGNOF Report: Like Taking Second Base From A Baby

May 7, 2018 | Uncategorized | 8 Comments

SAGNOF info is the best way to get a leg up on the SAGNOF trade. (I challenged myself to use that anagram twice in the same sentence.) Challenge accomplished, and in the first line too! Wish I had longer arms than those baby T-Rex arms because the pats on the back wouldn’t stop. As I continue the back lauding, the week upcoming is a bear market in steals. The year is mimicking the previous year’s steals downward trend, as it is down almost 8% of the pace from last years total to date. So if you have a valuable piece of steals bait that isn’t doing so great, let’s say his name is “Billy Hamilton” and you are having trouble getting ample trade value for him… read this post so it can be explained that despite his sub-200 average and lower than expected 5 steals to date, he still has stolen base value. Yes, you are going to have to trade for 75 cents on the dollar, but explain this to someone looking for steals and are down on Billy that he is still top-20 in steals and with that 5 steals total, he would be at 20% of most teams total steals on the year in fantasy. That number obviously changes by league type and such, and I took an average of all the leagues I myself compete in (median is 31). So while I sit here and let you either figure out how to sell high or buy low on Billy Hamilton, continue the read and learn about the steals that will come, have happened, and the week’s thievery to be. Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bullpen Report: Uh-Oh Ottavino

June 2, 2017 | Closers, Middle Relievers | 12 Comments

by: Smokey

The season to date leader in holds heads to the DL and one of the better bullpens in baseball is in a tailspin… not so fast! The Rockies have reliable arms that can cement games just as well as Adam Ottavino has done for the year. With the likes of wily veterans in Mike Dunn, Chris Rusin, and even a little smattering of Jake McGee, the sedimentary bunch is going to attempt to hold down the fort. The comforting thing is that the Rockies lead MLB in holds as a pen, least amount of blown saves and have the most games pitching with a lead with 99 total. The scary thing with the shoulder injury is that Ottavino is a stash, or a dash, and replace with new military holds parts made from recycled relievers. Wait a week, see if the 10-day DL stint is a pain in the tuther end, and I can see if you need the space in Holds leagues, the move make sense. I would most likely grab Dunn, Rusin, and McGee in that order, as the setup game in front of the Dutch Master is going to be pieced together differently than what we saw so far. No need to panic though, there are tons of saves in the 6-8 innings to go around. Speaking of which, let’s see what is going down in the neighborhood of hold-dom…

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Bullpen Report: Hand To Hold

May 21, 2017 | Closers, Middle Relievers | 16 Comments

by: Smokey

What I particularly like about relievers is versatility. The situation in San Diego is the one in particular I want to discuss. We were all lured into the Carter Capps preseason love, and I was on the wagon driving the horses as well, but his injury and the results that we expected aren’t coming as fast as we hoped. He isn’t bowling over anyone in the minors, sporting a 6-plus ERA, and the obnoxious K-rate hasn’t materialized. Now onto the major league roster which isn’t lighting any fires. They are second from the bottom in bullpen ERA, have only 12 holds on the year, and now their closer has hit the skids. He being Brandon Maurer. Enter who I think should, could be the next man up while we wait (forever) for Capps. Brad Hand offers that former starter turned good. I may just call him the Vigilante of holds and possibly saves very soon. He has the K-rate, the BAA and the moxy to do the job… it is just a matter of if SD is ready to pull the trigger on something because Maurer looks cooked. Regardless of his situation moving forward or your league perimeters, Hand is worthy for a spot because of speculation and the K’s that he will produce. This is the bullpen report for this week, so let’s see what’s happening in the setup game and the hold chase…

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The McCullers Of McMoneys

April 5, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 523 Comments

by: Grey

Me watching Lance McCullers:

The genius thing in that gif is the moment where Tom doesn’t seem like he knows which way to twirl the pool stick, looks about to mess up, and crack a smile, then spins and starts walking away. Scorsese likely had cleaner takes, but it brilliant that he uses a slightly flubby take because the character Vince is so full of himself even when he shouldn’t be. There were no such flubs in Lance McCullers’ start yesterday (6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks). May your God strike me down if this guy isn’t so butter that I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter sees him and says, “You are more butter than I can ever hope to be,” then I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter bows repeatedly, backing out of the room, saying, “Your butterness, I am not worthy.” As I said repeatedly in the preseason, I was thisclose to putting McCullers in my top 20 starters overall, but his health deterred me. Well, de-turd this, because he looks healthy and I wish I owned McCullers everywhere. If he throws 180+ IP, he could be a top ten starter. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bullpen Report: 2017 Holds Rankings

March 3, 2017 | Closers, Middle Relievers | 58 Comments

by: Smokey

A funny thing happened on my way to work today, I sat there in my favorite sitting place and did some research. I looked at the availability of information provided by the other experts in the world of fantasy baseball, and then correlated that to what I do best. That, my friends, is bullpens. We as a collective fantasy universe play in leagues with the illusive yet sultry stat category known as the Hold. In fact, in some further research that I have done, an estimated 30% of all fantasy players play in a league with some sort of Hold associated with the final outcome in the standings. I mean, 30% is basically like winning the popular vote. [Jay’s Note: I love you Smokey.] But I am standing here aghast at the amount of research poured into this fantasy industry by experts all around the world, yet here I sit. Giving you the most diverse, in-depth, informative (yet funny), and groundbreaking stat analysis that not even world-wide leaders give… for free might I add. I love me some bullpens, and if you don’t play in a league that adds diversity to the game to include them, then maybe you should down shift a bit and give it some thought and do a league that includes it. Don’t do it for me, do it for yourself. Because this way I gain, at least one reader from each person that does it. Go search the inter-webs for holds type information, you get a column sorted catastrophe written by some intern who doesn’t know the difference between good and well. So stay here my friends, I am the goods through and through. I dropped the Holds chart weeks ago and now you get just straight cheddar and some rankings.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Healy? Um, Worth A Buy But May Combust

September 23, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 288 Comments

by: Grey

Ryon Healy couldn’t have come at a better time for the A’s. Their corner infidels were about as weaksauce as they come. Mark Canha? More like Can’t-hit. Andrew Lambo? More like ‘that Lambo is bahhhd.’ Yonder Alonso? More like ‘over Yonder’ as in everyone’s over him in value. Though, looking at Healy’s minor league numbers, he doesn’t look much better. However, Josh Donaldson wasn’t much to look at in the A’s minor league system either. It wasn’t until he came up and the A’s adjusted his swing to get more lift than a Beverly Hills surgeon. Not saying in 2017, Healy will be Donaldson, but we shouldn’t write him off as a 15-homer hitter either, as his minor league numbers may indicate. Why didn’t the A’s give Canha, Lambo, Alonso and others the patented lift? An anecdote to illustrate: for a few months, I wore shoe heels like Tom Cruise to give myself an extra two inches. It was impossible to tell I had them in, they elongated me! I looked like Fred Astaire (as old people told me)! But after a few months, I got bunions the size of pearl onions and couldn’t walk. I had to stop with the lift because it wasn’t natural and making things worse. Maybe those other players couldn’t do the lift because it didn’t feel natural to them. Of course, none of this matters for this year. I’d grab Healy for the last ten days. Doode’s fahrenhot! Doode is straight butter that a professional hibachi chef puts on a sizzling lobster tail! Doode’s Kurt Russell in Backdraft! Healy is a social worker at a female prison that married a Russian mail-order bride! Wait, that last one is a plot point for a Netflix show. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For He’s A Jolly Porcello

September 20, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 266 Comments

by: Grey

I’m OCD about my iTunes. I listen to a new album a few times, pick out some songs that I like, five star them, and then play them endlessly until I’m sick of them. My top 20 for most played is embarrassing. I like Lil Wayne more than anyone should ever admit. Sometimes I have a song on repeat, and I’ll get a phone call (rare; only old people use the phone for calling people), the doorbell will ring (less rare; Cougs orders a ton of shizz on Amazon) or I’m just called away from my desk for some reason. Then I’ll forget I have a song on repeat and I’ll go to lunch, dinner or…No, those are the only reasons I leave my fantasy cave. When I come back and see a song’s play count has been artificially boosted with me not listening, I will edit info in iTunes and reset the play count to where it was before the accidental repeat. It’s important to have a gage to tell how much you like a song. Do you like it enough to play it 200 times like, say, Aloe Blacc’s Red Velvet Seat or do you like it enough to listen to it 120 times like, say, Tom Petty Yer So Bad (actual play counts)? Why do I bring this up now? Because Rick Porcello should roll his win count back to 15. 21 wins?! C’mon! That is misrepresenting him in every conceivable way. Yesterday, Rick Porcello went 9 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.08, to move his record to 21-4 <–LIES! He’s pretending to be Eazy E vs. Johnny Cash (great song; play count 278) when he’s really Randy Newman’s Short People (good song, but you ain’t listening to that nonsense more than once every few months; play count 59). His ERA isn’t even accurate. It’s saying, “I’m Bon Iver’s Skinny Love (play count 175),” when it’s really You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb by Spoon (play count 96). The only thing that is sort of legit is his 0.98 WHIP, but that’s more Men At Work’s Overkill (play count 186) legit. Have a season, Rick Porcello, but you are so Rihanna’s Diamonds (play count 86) and not Martians vs. Goblins (play count 365). Also, if you want more, we talk about Rick Porcello on today’s podcast. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

SAGNOF Report: Stealing For The Future

September 19, 2016 | Steals | 6 Comments

by: Smokey

It’s never too late to start talking about next year, is it? Well, that is the direction I am heading. I don’t know if anyone has noticed, but second base, and for that matter middle infield, is going to be an interesting position come draft time or even for some keepers. This is the first time in a few years that there will be a dearth of players with a value at the position, so I am personally sorta excited, about as excited as getting a onion ring in my french fry order. The middle rounds for these second base eligible guys is going to be an interesting pecking order of who covets who more, and what we have seen this year steers them. Now, this is a steals post and most of the guys I am talking about are going to have value there and in some ancillary stat contributions, I am not talking about the over-drafting of Brian Dozier, and to some extent, Robbie Cano. Steals only guys, they in this case, have faces until at least your draft or keepers are pot committed. So this week, I am looking at some second sackers that will shine for you next year based on the second half stats. For giggles afterwards, since the season isn’t over, some two-week guys that will help you down the stretch and of course some save stealers…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razznasty Dynasty League Update: The Hippo, The Bug, and The Raskal(s)

August 3, 2016 | Our Leagues | 68 Comments

by: Geoff

As the season begins to wind down, and the grind of the first four months feeds into the stretch run of the final two months. The contenders begin to rise to the top in Razzball’s own dynasty league the Razznasty. We got a serious race going, with the top spot changing hands multiple times over the last few days. RCL Czar Matt Truss sits atop the mountain, for the next few hours at least. BTW Matt you are a Czar, watch out for Commies old friend. Look at that a Russian history lesson mixed with fantasy baseball. I’m gunning for a Smithsonian gig one day. In the meantime I’ll keep providing you with gushing articles about prospects, dynasty strategy, and PROSPECT PODCASTS!!! I hope everyone is ready for our first episode coming tomorrow!!! We’ll be talking the prospect side of the trade deadline, and some of the recent weeks callups. Benintendi anyone? Yes, I have to mention him twice a post.

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Closer Report, Week 17: The Calm Before The Deadline

July 30, 2016 | Closers, Middle Relievers | 22 Comments

by: Smokey

I was going to just delay this post due to inclement weather, but Grey’s super Doppler 5001, which is also a giant B.S. detector, wouldn’t let me. So here we sit, some 48 hours before the list that you are about to see means about as much as single-ply toilet paper… Really, what cheap s.o.b. concocted this idea of pinching pennies? I mean everyone has had a run-in with it at some point. Awful. It’s part of the reason I have a salt-water bidet in all three outhouses at the Smokey compound. So back to the deadline… closer gossip teams are lining up other contenders closers in such a bullish market, namely the rumors surrounding Mark Melancon. The market and teams that need reliable relievers, let alone closers, is the Nationals, Indians, Rangers and Giants. It is just the land of confusion and there is not enough LOOGY’S to go around. I will touch on who I can see where after the bump to prolong the suspense, but the teams I just mentioned are teams to monitor on the opposite end of closers, because if the big names start rolling, all but Cody Allen looks to be out of a job. Here’s what I can see going down by the deadline in the bullpen game, plus some rankings and next in line stuff. Plus, Razzball Soccer has started pumping out quality, so go over and check it and join the official game…

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Closer Report: Second Half Rankings

July 16, 2016 | Closers | 38 Comments

by: Smokey

I am always a day late and a buck short on the posts because I am relegated to be the Saturday morning cartoon of the Razzball variety. No worries, I mean, who doesn’t love 80’s cartoons and can’t list 10 shows that would drastically alter children’s universes today? One word… Snorks. So with everyone else doing the second-half rankings, I felt it was my duty to give the closer rankings based solely on the second games remaining. The elite will still be the elite, the mediocre are still mediocre, and the middling teams will still be middling. I don’t care what algorithm Jimmy Bill came up with to have expected win totals and blah blah. Expected win totals are an indicator of save expectations. because the percent of saves converted in wins by teams has been pretty stagnant at 52%, give or take a few sheckles each way. So looking at the games remaining, some teams have less games to play then others, and some have more so the expected totals for some teams will be different then what you would expect them to be. So as a wise person once said to me in throws of fantasy passion, lets have at it. Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

SAGNOF Report: Street Detour, Snakes On A Save And Boston Duo

July 11, 2016 | Closers, Middle Relievers | 42 Comments

by: Smokey

The changing parabola that is the saves game is taking over the first “S” in this weeks post. Steaks are boring, throw rocks at them. The “saver stitch” has changed in several different destinations, and the funny thing is, I just wrote about closing situations two-and-half-days ago. Strange days indeed, my friends. The closer in the Desert, the Beantown, and now, the City of Angels, is possibly up for grabs. Check the bottom for the first two, as I would like to concentrate on Huston Street. He pulled up lame on Sunday and with the All-Star break here, we will anxiously await his massive 5.7 K/9 rate. The rumor mill was already circling for Street to be a trade candidate in a few weeks, now the possible injury puts a dent in the already dented can. The adds for the Angels are a yuck Joe Smith, who if possible, has been equally as bad as Street. My speculative pick if Street is more injured than it appears is Deolis Guerra for a bit, before seeing what Cam Bedrosian has. Baby Bedrock was a tout of mine a few months back and stumbled. Guess what? He is back, but no one cares because the Angels are bad and not anything or anyone watches except the cast of Angels in the Outfield. So those looking for a speculative add for the boring non-three days of fantasy, check the stacks of Angels and be ahead of the curve, instead of having trouble with it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?