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We’re back with what I like to call: My Conspiracy That Getaway Day Is The Best Day For Pitching. Am I wearing a tinfoil hat? Yes, what’s the alternative? I forgot my Big Jugs trucker hat and you want me to get melanoma? That’s awful, friend. This conspiracy theory, that the lamestream media is saying is more misleading than The Clinton Kill List, might just be confirmation basis, but, I ask you, gentle reader with a fading hairline, what good is a confirmation basis if that shizz ain’t confirming anything? I got more blind spots than an Airstream trailer, but I see every pitcher around baseball yesterday pitching well, and I ask you, take my hand and follow me to Conspiracy Loonloon Land. Take my hand metaphorically! Let go of my hand, you weirdo! So, Kodai Senga (6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.95) threw another gem. Was it because it was Thursday? Who’s to say? (It was.) I begged people to draft Senga this year, as he was going around 175 overall and an absolute steal. Speaking of which, I present to you frequent commenter, Oaktown Steve’s comment from yesterday that everyone should read:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Here’s a Story…What, too obvious? Sure, but Trevor Story returns and faces Brady Singer? You can’t tempt me with that. You can tempt me with Brady Singer (6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 5.05). Can Streamonator, if you like, but, since June, his ERA is 3.53. But the real Story–God damn it! Trevor Story (0-for-4) as he was activated from the IL. He’s been gone so long when I googled Trevor Story, Google asked me, “Don’t you mean Trevor May?” I said no and it asked, “Trevor Williams?” I said absolutely not, and it asked, “Trevor Megill? Stephan? Larnach? Oh, I know! Trevor Rogers?” No, no, no, no, no, no and no. Trevor Story! From ages (or fromages, if you’re French), 23 to his 30 years old, he’s played in 839 games and has 174 HRs, stole 113 bags and hit .268. Putting on him what he did at age 25 in Coors to what he can do these final seven weeks seems unfair, but why do I have to be fair? He’s capable of 20/7/20/.280 /7 in 150 ABs. That’s great! Definitely worth rostering. Do I think he comes close to those numbers? I’d put the under on each. I’m really skeptical he’s going to be running. Welcome back, you have been anything but a neverending Story. A Start-and-Stopping Story? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“What a day for a game! We have Max Scherzer and Justin Verlander squaring off today to decide who goes to the World Series for the American League, and–hold on, clear the room! Mr. Met, no! Don’t do it!–*tv channel goes to static*” Okay, this is going to sound crazy, but the Mets did well at the deadline. It’s not how they would’ve imagined it in the preseason, but unloading two fossils for prospects, and they can just buy again this offseason. Of course, they’ll likely take the prospects they just got and trade them for, like, George Springer, but it’s a strategy. Now, due to their luxury tax implications, it’s imperative they lose as many games as possible, which brings me to: You too can be a Mets starter! Just head down to Metco and line up! Auditions start at 2 PM on Thursday. So, Justin Verlander returns to the Astros…*yawns* If the biggest move during the Trade Deadline is Justin Verlander returning to Houston, then what a snooze. Let’s go Yankees, do a move no one likes! Let’s go Dodgers, grab another player no one wants! C’mon, Rays, grab another forgotten starter and make him an ace! A guy Verlander’s age doesn’t change suddenly. He can be great for ratios, and give IP, but his Ks have gone bye-bye and he’s not locating as well. He goes to a tougher park, but an easier division, though the Astros face a bunch of AL East teams in August. I’ll say it’s lateral, and you should know what you’re getting. Well…You could be getting a one-day contract to pitch for the Mets! Just head down to the stadium!

As it turned out, all of that Verlander business was a preamble for a historical event that was about to happen that night. Was it Lance Lynn’s first crotch grab on his new team, the Dodgers? Well, that did happen, but no-no. Framber Valdez threw a no-hitter with one walk and 7 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.07. So, The Framchise threw the Astros’ first lefty no-hitter on a day they brought back a guy with three of them. It’s pretty inspiring. Maybe you’re next for the Mets! Seriously, they need arms, head down to Metco this Thursday.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Are the top 20 1st basemen for 2023 fantasy baseball good? How do you define good? Is good definable? Are you Plato? What is a Plato? Any hoo! This post goes on for about 1.8 million words, so let’s dive in. Here’s Steamer’s 2023 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2023 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. The projections noted in this post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop. Subscriptions are up and running, and you can already get Rudy’s Draft War Room. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

I heard Kendrick Lamar say “Keep playin’, man” in the song We Cry Together — a great song for a couple’s first dance at their wedding, by the way — and I had a vision. I heard “Keep playin’, man” and I saw Nick Senzel. He was “playin’.” Out on the field and just “playin’.” What a world. From top prospect in 2018, with the label “future All-Star as soon as 2019.” Just absolutely overcoming all odds, from losing a blonde dame in Golden Gate Park that gave him Vertigo to talking like Jimmy Stewart that drove his friends and family crazy to googling “Nick Senzel injuries” and having Google say, “C’mon, man, you need to be more specific.”

Seriously, look at that. 364,000 results in 0.47 seconds is Nick Senzel’s injury history to a tee. In just the first four rows listed there, he had four different injuries in one month in 2019. I’d laugh if I wasn’t worried it would somehow cause a butterfly to flap its wings into Senzel’s oblique and injure him. With all that said, Nick Senzel was the top option on the 7-day Player Rater rostered in under 25% of leagues, so here’s to him finally making it all come together and “keep playin’, man” for at least another week. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Chazz whiz, he looked good! Wait a second, did I just invent his new nickname? From Ground Chuck to Chazz Whiz: The Story of Charlie Morton as told to me by Statcast sliders. Yesterday, Charlie Morton went 7 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners (zero walks), 11 Ks, ERA at 4.84, and now we’re talking II. Related to but not Travolta and Alley, and no relation to Michael Harris II. Morton did look legitimately better than he’s looked recently. The lack of walks, and holding the Ks. The Morton issue was always mechanical, and that can get fixed at any point. He might’ve done it. It’s honestly impossible to know. As BDon and I have been saying on the podcast for the last few weeks, it was the curve that abandoned him. Not his velocity. The curve:

Looks pretty back if it’s generating swings and misses like that one. Will be interesting to see how he builds on this. Philly won’t be an easy assignment for Chazz Whiz; they’ll wanna get their licks. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Woke up yesterday morning and Googled to see if there ever was a movie made called, Call Me By Your Mom with Timothee ChalaMILF, then Christian Yelich (4-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, 5th homer) hits his third cycle vs. the Reds. Could this be a coincidence or deja vu? Whenever I think of Yelich, I think of Mr. Redleg:


Excuse me! His name is Mr. Redlegs! Wait, am I talking about cojoined twins now? Co-Dick? Corey Dickerson did nothing yesterday (or all year). Yelich was an early season goof-up by yours truly. He looks markedly better than last year. I saw his sample size — hey now! — in the first two weeks and thought we were in for another long season of ground balls, but he’s actually improved. He’s hitting everything hard, and in the air again. Yelich might not be the Yelich of old — the top 10 overall Yelich — but he could easily be a low-end top 20 outfielder. Now, I’m off to see if anyone will invest in Call Me By Your Mom. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

No hitters are funny, aren’t they? They’re baseball at its finest. Baseball thrives off of statistical anomalies. It’s why there’s so many Jayson Stark-types that spit at ya stuff like, “This is the first time a player has hit into a double play while his 1st base coach was in the 1st base coach’s box talking on a bluetooth to his mistress,” and other oddities. The no-hitter highlights the oddity. It takes great pitching to no-hit a team, but varying amounts of luck. Reid Detmers was on the leaning side of the scale for an extreme amount of luck. Well-struck balls right at fielders. Hit ’em where they ain’t the Rays ain’t did. It’s also incredibly funny that Detmers’s peripherals got worse from a no hitter, but you throw 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 walk and only two strikeouts, and that will happen. His ERA is now down to 3.77. A solid, unremarkable unhittable performance. One of baseball’s oddities. It’s another oddity that the highlight of a no-hitter was a home run by Anthony Rendon. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy mid-September, friends!  The excitement that was in the air this spring as we headed into a full year of baseball after 2020’s bizarre mini-season feels like it happened a lifetime ago; we’re at that point of the year where it’s just about impossible to care about your fantasy baseball teams if they’re stuck at or near the bottom of the standings.  Congratulations to everyone who is still in the thick of things with something to play for as we enter the home stretch, and let’s do what we like to do here — this week we’ll stick to the National League, as we look at a few NL hitters of varying ownership levels that may be of interest to those in deep — or maybe even slightly shallower — leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?