Jarred Cosart was fantastical last night in his season debut pitching 8.0 shutout innings, and surrendering just 2 hits and walking three. The rookie carried a no-hitter into the 7th inning before Ben Zobrist spoiled his fun with a 1-out single. The 23-year-old had the longest no-hit bid in a debut since 1972, and he was the first Astro to go eight scoreless in his major league debut. The Astros big get from Philly in their Hunter Pence trade, Cosart has a mid-90’s fastball and a sick curve he used to baffle the TB hitters last night as he shut down the scorching hot Rays who had won eight in a row. The fact that Cosart was facing off with Tampa’s ace David Price, makes his feat even more impressive. Brandon Barnes also impressed, making a circus catch in the outfield to preserve Jarred’s no-no in the sixth, but who cares, that won’t help your fantasy team. Jarred actually had a chance at the complete game shutout in this one and came out for the ninth, but was pulled for Jose Veras after walking the first batter. Naturally, after the game the Astro’s sent him down to AAA, but I imagine after this outing he should be back before the end of the month. If he were to get recalled after the All-Star break, he would likely face the Oakland A’s next week. Grey told you to BUY him yesterday, so obviously he foretold this start (he’s a wiiitch!), but Cosart is certainly worth stashing in deep mixed and all AL-Only leagues. With talented arms like Cosart, Appel, Lyles and Peacock, the Astro’s have assembled an impressive “future stars” pitching staff, and if games like this are any indication, we won’t be making fun of the Houston Lastros for much longer.
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:
David Price 9.0 IP, 8 hits, 2 ER, 3 K. Hard to be disappointed with a complete game, but is this all you got DP? It’s the Astros, I was expecting a minimum 10 Ks, and can you be a bit more gentle with my WHIP next time? Still, if you’re looking to buy an ace for a second half, the Price might still be right for David. Cha-ching!
Jose Veras 1.0 IP, 2 hits, K and his 18th save. It wasn’t pretty you guys. He almost blew this one for the rookie but whoa–18 SAVES!? I am even more surprised that the Astros managed to win over 18 games.
Starlin Castro 2-for-3 with his 6th HR. The All-Star break means mid-season awards, and Starlin gets my award for most disappointing first half from a Cubs player. He was in pretty good company here though, as is the Cubbies way. He does have two homers in his past four games; he should be better in the second half.
Carlos Beltran 3-for-4, run, RBI. Came a HR short of the cycle, Carlos does it all, folks. After the game, I’m pretty sure I saw him battling monsters in a giant robot suit in Pacific Rim. By the way, Jax Teller fighting aliens with robot armor — this is how you make a great stupid summer movie, folks. If only they’d play baseball in those suit, it could done change the game, ya’ll!
Jurickson Profar 2-for-4, RBI. They jury is in and their verdict is I’m a total sucker for Profar. My sixth sense is telling me Profar has a good second half. My sixth sense is fantasy, in others words, it’s not real. But I’m still not giving up on this kid. Not yet!
Miguel Cabrera 1-for-2 with his 95th RBI. Miggy gets my vote as the best player in the world for the first half. We are just lucky to get to watch him, or own him — if only on one team.
Doug Fister 6.0 IP, 8 hits, 2 ER, 5 K and his 7th win. Here’s a guy I think is due for a better second half, and the run support sure is nice as the Tigers scored 7 runs on 11 hits. It’s a nice life pitching in Detroit. Now, living in Detroit? Notsomuch. (Don’t get too upset Detroiters, you know I love you. Don’t shoot me!)
Adam Jones 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBI and his 17th HR. Jonesy gets the “Player I’m Most Happy I Drafted Before Josh Hamilton” award for the first half. But really, this award could have gone to almost anybody.
Chris Davis 2-for-4, 2 RBI and his 35th HR. CHRIS THE DISH! Only Reggie Jackson, Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire had more home runs at the All-Star break, and for all we know Davis could hit 4 more this weekend. No big whoop. THE POWER OF CHRIS COMPELS ME! THE POWER OF CHRIS COMPELS ME!
Chris Tillman 6.0 IP, 8 hits, 3 ER, 5 K. Uhh, oh, hey other Chris. Sorry I was actually talking about the other other Chris, but hey, 11 wins, now that’s pretty impressive, too! Did you hit any home runs?
Jim Johnson 0.1 IP and his 32nd save. Tommy Hunter made this game look closer than it was giving up 2 ER on 3 hits in 1.1 IP, so Johnson came in for the 1-out save. He may lead the league in blown saves, but he also leads the league in saves, which kind of makes sense. It’s math, people! Just ask a nerd!
Corey Kluber 7.2 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 8 K. It was Klubering time and Corey smashed the Royals handily with his big green fists of justice. Errr, yeah. SMASH! Statheads say Kluber’s 3.02 xFIP suggests greener pastures ahead in the second half and his 94/22 K/BB ratio is real pretty.
Cody Allen 1.0 IP, 2 hits, 1 BB, 3 K and his 2nd save. Chris Perez was unavailable to pitch so instead he spent the evening picking on fat kids at the schoolyard. He is the real life Kenny Powers.
Bruce Chen 6.0 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, 1 BB, 4 K. Chen was outstanding in his first start of the season, dominating the respectable Injians offense. The 2.04 ERA sure is nice, could be streamer worthy, but he’s def worth a grab a AL-Only. Ned Yost caught Bruce hours after the game in the locker room Dancing in the Dark, so Chen was obviously psyched with his performance, too.
Stephen Strasburg 2.0 IP, 5 hits, 7 ER, 4 BB, 2 K. Strasburned! The Strasborg had a serious system malfunction against the lowly Marlins giving up a career high 5 ER in the first inning. I have to admit I feel very betrayed right now. I slept without my lucky plush Stephen StrasBear last night for the first time in a long time. Let’s just hope he learned his lesson.
Giancarlo Stanton 1-for-4, 2 RBI and his 9th HR. Grey told you to BUY and if you ask me which player I think will hit the most homers in the second half (besides Chris Davis, you guys! obvs!) I’d go with Giancarlo Stanton and that’s with the expectation that he’ll miss at least 25 games.
Nate Eovaldi 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, 4 BB, 5 K and his 2nd win. I guess the Nationals offense is bad again?
Eric Young, Jr. 2-for-5 and a run. We’re going to tell you to BUY him every week until he is 100% owned or otherwise seriously injured. Hopefully the former. He grabs my award for first half player most likely to steal 100 bases in the second half. Hey, if you can dream it, he can do it!
Jeremy Hefner 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 3 K. Grey told you to BUY and when not chillin’ in the Grotto, Hef has amassed a 1.76 ERA over the past month and a half. He’s just under 30% owned in RCL and set to start against the Phillies after the break. Me likey.
Brandon Phillips 1-for-4, 2 RBI. Now has 71 RBI. Sweet sassy molassy! That’s good for fifth in the major leagues, behind heavyweights Miguel Cabrera and Chris Davis (that wasn’t a fat joke). Sometimes I wonder if Frazier or Bruce batted behind Votto, if they’d be the one who I’d shower with all my praise? Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be the rapper my 14-year-old self thought I would be. Sometimes I also wonder if the psychedelic drug usage will ever catch up to me–wait what was that? No one asked you, tiny pink elephant.
Pedro Alvarez 1-for-5 and his 24th HR. Pedro gets my award for the “most home runs by a player I owned everywhere last year and own nowhere this year” also known as the FMFBBL Award for Outstanding Achievement in D’oh.
Hiroki Kuroda 5.0 IP, 6 hits, 0 ER, 5 K and his 8th win. Kuroda lowered his ERA to a league leading 2.65, which apparently wasn’t good enough for the All-Star team. Go figure. No matter, he was playing for a little something extra last night. He did it for Jeter!
Mariano Rivera 1.0 IP, 1 K. Mo grabs my “Most Likely to Know the Location to the Fountain of Youth” first half award. I wonder if the fountain can have reverse effects. I can’t wait to be a mean old man, drinking all day, chain-smoking, verbally abusing my live-in nurse and telling Clint Eastwood to “get off my lawn.” In the future, I have a lawn. And I like to keep it nice, so get the hell off it!
Patrick Corbin 6.2 IP, 9 base runners, 1 ER, 10 K and his 11th win. PatCo has been fantastic and gets my first half award for “player I was most terrified was going to blow up in my face any minute.” Grey told you to SELL, and I couldn’t have pictured a better start for Corbin to sell high off of. Now’s your chance, you guys! I’ll wait.
David Hernandez 1.0 IP, 2 K and his 2nd save. The committee is in full swing! We will now stand for Heath Bell’s fillibuster…[fart noise]. Thank you, Heath, we will take that into consideration.
Carlos Gomez 0-for-4, 4 Ks. CarGo Lite is 1-for-24 in the past week with 2 SB and a HR. The regression to his average is likely gonna hit him like the Mack truck in Final Destination (remember those movies? A bit surprised there isn’t like 10 of those by now…) but at least the power and speed are still here.
Joe Saunders 7.0 IP, 7 base runners, 0 ER, 5 K and his 8th win. Joe gets my award for first half player I would never own no matter how good he pitches. And that’s saying something, he’s pitched pretty good lately!
Jerome Williams 3.1 IP, 6 ER. Stream-O-Nator loved this start but John Connor warned me about SoN, this is how SkyNet begins. Gulp. That large Austrian man is no man, he’s a former governor!
Raul Ibanez 3-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBI, and 2 HR (23rd & 24th). I don’t even know what to say. Raul was a landslide for my first half award for the player who thinks it’s still 2006. After the game he went to the movies to see Borat (he like!) and walked home listening to SexyBack on his Microsoft Zune.
John Lackey 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 4 BB, 2 ER, 5 K. Carried a no-no into the fifth, his biggest blip was surrendering a HR to Jed Lowrie. After being their worst nightmare last year, Lackey has practically been the pitcher of the Red Sox’s dreams lately and carried them to their 58th win last night, breaking Boston’s record for most wins before the All-Star break. Sigh, fans know this can only end badly.
Koji Uehara 1.0 IP, 3 K, and his 8th save. With the Kimbrel! Andrew Bailey has pitched better lately, and Boston acquired Matt Thornton from the ChiSox last night, but Koji’s in the zone, yo! He should be a top closer in the second half, and hopefully I don’t Kojinx it.
Yoenis Cespedes 0-for-2, 2 SB. Just 20 more SB and 15 more HRs and we’re good, me and you. While you’re at it, could you raise that batting average 20-30 points?
Jarrod Parker 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 3 K. If you started him versus Boston you have more faith in him than I did, but Parker was stellar. After a rocky start to the season, Jarrod has turned things around in a big way. I’m buying Parker, but not on DVD, sorry Jason Statham.
D.J. LeMahieu 3-for-5, run RBI. Hey, DJ, play my song and keep those hits coming! You get my award for first half player most likely to keep my heart rate up and my hallucinations coming despite my physician’s warnings. When you play dub step I think it shakes my soul. In a good way.
Yasiel Puig 0-for-2. Left game in the top of the 5th inning with a hip injury. Grey just told you to SELL, which further proves my theory that Grey may very well be a warlock.
Clayton Kershaw 7.0 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, 10 K. Kersh gets my coveted “Pitcher I Wish I Could Own in the Second Half” first half award.
Juan Nicasio 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 3 K and his 5th win. And to think, this time last week the Dodgers had a formidable offense on their hands. Womp womp.
Justin Upton Both of baseball’s favorite brothers, Justin and B.J. Upton left this game with injuries — talk about your family problems! AMIRIGHT!? LOL! Sounds to me like your classic brothers prank, skipping out to break two days early. What am I going to do with you boys! (That’s Mama Upton). I heard they are going on a road trip to the California wine country to find themselves. Hopefully they find their souls and their power swings while they’re there, oh, and Sandra Oh! She’ll probs be there, too. With Jason Heyward nursing a hamstring injury and Jordan Schafer and Evan Gattis on the DL, we could see some interesting names in the Atlanta outfield this weekend. Oh brother(s)! These two get my vote for biggest brother-brother busts of the first half, an award previously held by J.D. and Stephen for many years. Congratulations Uptons. No, your father isn’t mad at you two, he’s just really disappointed, you have all but destroyed the batting average of his fantasy team.
Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long! Enjoy the All-Star break!
