Do you remember back when you were in school when you were walking into class and your buddy asked you how much you studied for today’s test and your immediate response was “oh sh!t” when you realized that you had completely forgotten about said test? You then spent about six minutes trying to “study” all the while knowing you were not going to fare all that well. But hey, you were going to give a shot. You could have just bailed on the class and figured out how to make up the exam, but not today. Well the “oh sh!t” thought is what went through my head about ten minutes ago when I remembered that tonight was Tuesday (not Monday) and I had to write you clowns a post about fantasy baseball. I considered packing it in, but then decided I was going to give it a go.

Let’s take a look at the players that lead the league in the fewest number of plate appearances to accomplish a stat…

In 204 plate appearances Daniel Murphy has 50 singles. That means he hits a single every 4.08 plate appearance. No one else in the league with at least 100 plate appearances hits a single more frequently than Murphy.

David Ortiz has hit 23 doubles so far this season in 198 plate appearances. For those that have no desire to do the math, that’s a double every 8.6 plate appearances. Did someone say this guy was retiring? That just sounds like big poopie to me.

The best in the league is a triple every 43.5 plate appearances. That honor goes to Chris Owings who now has 4 three baggers in 174 tries. I haven’t had a three bagger since college!

The Human Cespedes, any many have already referred to him as, hits a home run every 12.467 times he steps into the batters box. Right behind him, as I’m sure you all guessed, is none other than Adam Duvall (12.692).

Ian Kinsler crossed home plate (aka scored a run) once every 5.11 plate appearances. Prince Fielder is near the bottom of just about every one of these categories. I wonder how the Rangers feel about the trade now.

Any guesses who leads for RBIs? That would that big guy from Boston that claims to be retiring. Ortiz drives in a run every 4.213 plate appearances. By the way, for the record, I do believe he plans to retire. What we are seeing this season is old man strength. I was going to say retard strength, but I didn’t want to be inappropriate and I think someone else might have already said as much.

Finally Bryce Harper makes the list. With 4.4167 plate appearances between walks, Harper reaches ball four the most frequently. This number, however, it skewed by the fact that he leads the majors with 13 intentional walks. If we disqualify him, Paul Goldschmidt slides into first (4.833).

Any finally, the strike out king of the MLB. If you thought I was going to say Abe Froman, that would be the sausage king of Chicago. The strike out king, with a strikeout every 2.718 plate appearances, is none other that Justin Upton.

Let’s keep one thing in mind. I still want the guy that has more total home runs than the guy that hits one in less plate appearances. I’m taking Arenado’s 16 homers over Cespedes’ fifteen.

Well there you have it. That’s what you get when I forget I have a test.


  1. Koehler almost up to one walk per pitch…

    Anibal 2 home runs per game…

    Brett Wallace 2 franks, 1 beans…

    • Grey

      Grey says:


    • malamoney

      malamoney says:

      @Wake Up: Love it!

  2. Breaking Chad says:

    Nice cram job! My computer handled this better than 1 cup for every 2 girls…

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