When I think of the term “Hebrew Hammer” I think of Moishe Steinbergowitzman, the handyman that put the deck on my neighbor’s house. That dude was out there every morning at 8am hammering away, except for Saturdays. Friday nights must have been his night to cut loose and throw back some Manischewitz. Of course there is also Mordechai Jefferson Carver, the baaadest Heeb this side of Tel Aviv. However, neither of these descendants of Abraham are the Hebrew Hammer to which I am referring.
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What does the new spin-off of the Walking Dead have to do with the update? Very little. I just wanted to be topical and I also feel like a zombie as we are within a month of the finish. I have been told that roto is too long and gets boring. I have always disagreed with that thinking. I like the marathon, even though it’s probably shaving years off my life. This week, I go a little big with the charts and a little low on the words. I was covering for Magoo and spent my Labor Day working on two posts, but it’s cool, I’ve heard less of me and more of you is what’s preferred in the update. To stay on the topic of you, how you doin? Getting those game starts caught up? Batty calling on the regs? Let me know what strategy you’re using. Seriously, you got to finish strong. Before I go, if anyone was wondering, I do watch Fear the Walking Dead and have probably watched every episode of the Walking Dead at least twice… some three, maybe four times. I like the new show. You?
Please, blog, may I have some more?
First and foremost, I want you to know I worked very hard on that title. Like, I spent all of 10 minutes on it. That’s a million years in Fantasy Sports years so be thankful. Admittedly, I didn’t really watch Buffy growing up…or ever for that matter. Believe it or not, not every person who grew up with the 90s as their child/teen playground watched every bad show produced. Dawson’s Creek? Nope. Frasier? Eh, got the comedy, but it wasn’t my bag. Honestly, Seinfeld, Simpsons, and a plethora of awesome cartoons ruled my World. I’m here to tell you that Duckman was the shizz. Still is today. Also was a fan of The Critic, Ren & Stimpy…basically, cartoons gone wrong worked for me. I guess what I’m trying to say was, Sarah Michelle Gellar didn’t do it for me so I had zero reason to watch the show. I’d guess this true of most males my age but what the frick do I know, Duckman and The Critic only lasted 5 seasons total, Buffy 6! Alright, I just finished one of my worst fantasy football drafts with Nick Capozzi, JFOH, and crew and am drifting down the bitter path so let’s get back on track. Danny Duffy was a sleeper for some coming into the year. Yeah I don’t know why either, I’m just putting that out there. What I do know is that the Orioles on the year K 22.7% of the time against lefties and own a 25.4% K rate to go with an 80 wRC+ over their last 14 days. I wouldn’t go anywhere near him in cash but for tourneys, he makes for an intriguing high upside SP2 and at the middling price of $5,600, he allows you to price in all the big bats your heart desires. Obviously it would be a nicer call if Duffy were in KC but beggars can’t be choosers when searching sub $6K. So go…heck, I don’t know. I’m supposed to make a Buffy reference here. I like SMG in The Grudge, does that count? Let’s just roll on. Here’s my ‘at least it was better than Twilight’ hot takes for this Friday DK slate…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kemp Padre Getting Friendly With The HRs
September 11, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 181 Commentsby: Grey
Yesterday, Matt Kemp went 2-for-3 with his 21st homer, and his 5th homer in the past ten games. With the help of his last ten games, he’s quietly put together a decent season. You’re likely thinking, “Quiet, yes. Decent? Well, he’s worn pants, if that’s what you mean by him getting himself decent.” On our Player Rater, where do you think Kemp ranks overall? For all players, not just outfielders or hitters. If you said top 40, you’d be right and you likely cheated, because he did not feel like a top 40 fantasy player. Outfield is absolutely stacked this year, and Kemp is only around the 15th best outfielder. He’s been better than quite a few guys that you might think have been better Michael Brantley, Mookie Betts, Adam Jones…Okay, maybe you don’t think Adam Jones has been better. Kemp is still nowhere near what he once was, nor will he be in 2016, and moving to San Diego from LA has had its challenges. For instance, there’s real military at games and not just Mark Harmon fresh from the set of NCIS. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Bear or Bull: Pitchers For The Stretch Run
September 10, 2015 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 24 Commentsby: Big Magoo
I’d like to start things off this week by giving a shout out to J-FOH for covering the trash/treasure post this week while I was busy fighting traffic and stuffing my face in the Philly area during the holiday weekend. Great job, buddy. And by the way, the food pics will keep coming as long as you swear by those “Philly cheesesteaks” by that sandwich chain out on the west coast. I can’t even… Let’s move on, shall we?
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Closer Report, Week 23: The Red Sox Fantasy Bullpen Death
September 10, 2015 | Closers, Middle Relievers | 15 Commentsby: Smokey
From Koji to Ross… Sounds like a bullpen whirlwind in the shade of a Justin-to-Kelly type scenario. Have things goten so bad north of me… NJ… that they are just trouncing anyone out there. Any retreads? Well, it’s full on guess mode at the late stages of the season for the B0-Sawx. If you are really scraping for saves this late in the game, than you my friend are a desperate man in search of desperation and regret. The Red Sox as a team are near the bottom in blown saves, bullpen ERA and basically look drab and beaten down. The only good news there is I think the Bruins start soon and Papi is chasing 500. Listen, I get that you play to the end of the season, but is Robbie Ross really the direction you want to go to when the end is near? Do yourself a favor, add a quality non-closer work on your rates, your free-style composure and possibly go shop at the merry-go-round for some really cool back to school clothes. Your pitching stats and your swagger will thank you with some compliments and some vulture wins.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Turn the channel. Well, at least during the commercial breaks. Yes, the NFL season starts tonight (Tom Brady is going to do work, y’all), but it’s still baseball season. Admittedly, I’ll be watching the football game, but I’ll be channel surfing during the long commercial breaks to keep track of my DraftKings lineups.
I’m especially going to be checking in on the Mets and Braves game. No, I’m not a fan of either team, but I’m a fan of Bartolo Colon. He’s not a good pitcher, and what he did last week isn’t indicative for what he’s going to do tonight, but my god. He’s so entertaining to watch. Isn’t that what sports should really be about? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
Anyway, let’s get straight to the cash, homie.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Archduke Of Strasburg Empire Takes Feet Off Ottoman
September 10, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 242 Commentsby: Grey
You wanna know what’s on my mind? “If the Nationals wouldn’t have shut down Stephen Strasburg three years ago, would they have been eliminated a day earlier this year?” No, that’s not on my mind. “Is there anything to your business idea of selling 500-foot rulers outside the courthouse to people who just got restraining orders?” That’s been on my mind, but that wasn’t what I was thinking about now. “What does Strasburg offer us for 2016?” Yes, that was what I was thinking. How did you read my mind? “I’m you.” Shh, you’re ruining the illusion. Yesterday, he went 7 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 13 Ks. Prettttay, pretttay good. Of course, Effin Stressbird has been an ulcer all year with his 4.30 ERA, 1.23 WHIP and continual injuries that have left him with only 98 1/3 IP. When digging deeper — and it hurts me soul, Lupe Fiasco, to say this — he doesn’t look bad. His velocity went up this year to 95.3 MPH from 94.8; his K/9 is down 10.1 to 9.7, but I think that’s just due to his control, and a 9.7 K/9 isn’t bad. He hasn’t been as sharp with command, but couldn’t that be due to the back problems he’s fighting? I hate him as much as anyone that is making hashtags by combining MLK and the dipshit in Kentucky, but if I’m looking at his stats with impartial eyes, he doesn’t look terrible for 2016. For this year, just give me three more effin starts like last night, you Effin Stressbird. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
And Now For Something Slightly Different
September 9, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 45 Commentsby: Mike
Before I lose everybody to the football side (where Jay and crew are doing some killer stuff BTW) I’d like to give you a sneak peek at the offseason prospect lists coming your way this offseason. While writing up the top ten prospect lists for each organization last year, I found myself frustrated by how the traditional top ten prospect list doesn’t really do it for me as a fantasy player. What if a team has 12 prospects I need to know? What if another one only has 8? How do I know which ones are going to help me in my redraft league versus which ones are going to be sitting on my farm for three-plus years? I know I’m not supposed to scout the stat lines, but which stats are important to include anyway? If you haven’t noticed by now, I like to sit around by myself and ask a lot of questions. Sometimes an idea bubble floats up from the ether…and other times I just pass out in my Frosted Flakes. In both scenarios I’m wearing a bathrobe. It’s the official uniform of the fantasy writer. Back to business. Here are some of the changes I’m planning on making during the 2015-2016 offseason…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jackie Bradley Jr.’s Power Trip
September 9, 2015 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 3 Commentsby: Davidwiers
Even before accounting for Jackie Bradley Jr.’s 4-for-4 game on Monday — including a double and a home run — his post All-Star break numbers are enough to impress Mike Trout. Bradley has posted a blistering .336/.410/.692 line, good for a .458 wOBA and 194 wRC+. Those numbers rank third and fourth best in baseball since the break, minimum 100 plate appearances. Bradley was shuffled a bit between Triple-A and the majors, but a mix of trades and injuries gave him an opportunity in late July, and he hasn’t looked back. For the sake of calculation, all numbers here are post ASB and do no include his big game yesterday.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s a simple concept/guideline for life. Don’t make the circle try to fit into the square hole. It’s related to Occam’s Razor which says that the simplest explanation is the one that should be chosen. In DFS this means, don’t overthink things. Take what’s out there on a given slate, and don’t try to manufacture something or divine something that isn’t there. For example, you are looking at a slate and there are only a couple of pitchers that make sense, but you start thinking about diversifying and other techniques that you’ve picked up throughout the season and you begin to talk yourself into a couple of other starters to give you this diversification even though your research, and your gut, told you that there were only the two starters you liked. This is the way you turn your perfectly good knowledge into lost contests with your new creations that didn’t need to be there to begin with.
The alternative in that situation, if you feel like you shouldn’t put all your bankroll eggs for the night into a single SP basket, would be not to play the volume you normally would. If you feel that strongly about diversifying, but the SPs aren’t there to do it, emanate some inner strength and simply not play the additional volume you would’ve if you did have other SPs you liked.
The same goes with hitters. In a bunch of columns this season, I’ve varied the number of guys I’ve listed here. Today, for example, there are probably fewer than in past weeks. Why? There are fewer players I like on the slate, because of the matchup, prices, tap dancing skills, hat size, whatever. Therefore, I am likely going to play fewer lineups, contests, etc, based on this, although it’s tempting to play my full budgeted bankroll for the night because I like the action. But to do that would be me trying to fit an octagon into a triangle hole. Or something. Just don’t.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Professor Tanaka Will School You
September 9, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 296 Commentsby: Grey
Yesterday, Masahiro Tanaka went 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks. I took some guff in the preseason for being down on Tanaka, in the non-sexual way. I projected him for the line of 10-4/3.49/1.15/150. His line right now is 11-6/3.57/1.01/125. Yeah, I was waaaaaaaaay off. Multiple A’s to allow time for an eye roll. Kids write me letters and say, “Unkie Grey, how did you know what Tanucky (sic) would do so mediocrely?” My answer is always the same, I’m a witch. Then I continue, “No, that’s just a broom. Male witches ride around on Vespas.” Tanaka was an easy person for me to avoid this year due to his elbow tendon. For 2016, sadly, I don’t see my enthusiasm changing. Or at any point for him until he has surgery, rehabs for 12-16 months and then returns. I wish he would, because I would like to get excited about him, but it’s just not gonna happen, said like Dana Carvey impersonating George H. W. Bush. Now, excuse me, I double-parked my Vespa on Sandoval’s foot. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
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