Hop in the way back when machine with me, would you? This machine could take us anywhere in time. We might see dinosaurs, the signing of the Declaration Of Independence, the toppling of the Berlin Wall…nah, sounds boring, let’s go back to 2015 when I wrote about Rubby de la Rosa instead! I’m merely pointing you to my Rubby de la Rosa Fantasy because I want you to realize I might be biased even though I’ll promise you I’m not biased. Editor’s note: he’s biased. Hey wait, I’m my own editor, what is going on!?!?! I’m also pointing you to said article because it had perhaps the most eloquent handy joke you’ll ever read on the internet. No one does crass with class quite like Razzball! But really, I’m telling you the talent is there and we saw it in his last start against the Cardinals where he shut out the redbirds over 7, K’ing 10 while only walking 2. It would be silly to expect those exact same results, but we might be seeing a breakout I’ve been waiting on for a bit. Now not to damper my own post, but I fully note that Rubby’s problems have been versus lefty bats and tonight’s matchup will more than likely face at least four southies which could be daunting. Tack on that Jose Fernandez will be chalkier than pepto bismol, you’re heading against the grain so for me this almost has to be a tourney-only call unless you’re taking both pitchers from this game to protect yourself from the dangers of the world outside the Miami dome. Fair enough if you do, but I think we have some other ways to go than that so let’s move on. Here’s my Han shot first hot taeks for this Wednesday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Tue 8/5
ARI | ATH | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | OAK

Matthew Wisler threw a gem yesterday — 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 Walks, 4 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.24.  Or if you like portmanteaus and/or vomit — Matthrew up a gem.  By the by, after anyone says their name is Matthew, do you always want to say, “Gesundheit?”  “Name for the cup?”  “Matthew.”  “Wow, it’s allergy season, huh?”  That’s me as a barista, a job I never had.  I’ve actually held one real job in my entire life.  I’m like Mark Cuban without the money.  Since I own Wisler in more leagues than I care to admit, I watched the whole game.  Prolly first time I watched one of my pitchers while listening to the opposing broadcast, but you cannot beat the Mets announcers for a broadcast booth or for stories about insane cocaine intake in the 80s.  Wisler was dancing a 94 MPH fastball just at the knees, spinning a backdoor curve that had Neil Walker look more like Neil Statue.  Duda?  Go take a doodie, it’d be more productive than facing Wisler!  Asdrubal?  Well, he actually hit the ball hard.  Quite a few Mets did.  It was like, “Matthew!  Damn, I think I caught something,” and the Braves would look up with a ball in their glove.  So, Wisler’s performance last night was a gorgeous line, but I wouldn’t go near him outside of the deepest of leagues.  In shallower leagues, Matthew?  God bless you for last night, but I don’t need those tissues.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Velocity. Youth. Durability. These are a few of the traits that are common among breakout pitchers each and every season. This weeks’s top add, Oakland A’s starting pitcher Rich Hill (51.4% owned; +35.6% over the past week), possesses none of these qualities. Why is he such a hot commodity then? It’s simple. Strikeouts. Through 32 IP this season, his 41 Ks are tied for the 6th highest total in all of baseball. How he’s accomplishing this impressive feat is a bit more complicated. Hill is a 36-year-old with 532 MLB innings on his resumé, and just 104.2 of those were recorded during the 2010-2015 seasons. That’s less than 18 innings or roughly three starts per season. Not terribly encouraging on the durability front. What Hill does have going for him is a knee-buckling curve as well as an effective fourseam fastball which he is able to command effectively against both right-handed and left-handed hitters. This combination has allowed him to rack up the strikeouts as well as induce groundballs at an elite rate. In fact, he’s one of only two qualified starting pitchers this season to produce an 11+ K/9 with a 50+ GB%. The other pitcher is Noah Syndergaard. Grab Hill if he’s available  and enjoy the numbers as long as the old man is able to stay on the field.

Here are a couple of other interesting adds/drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What a week week 4 was, especially for those RCLers who drafted Dee Gordon.  Gordon had an ADP of 21.35 for our RCLs and never made it past the middle of the third round in any RCL draft.  What a rude thing to awaken to Saturday morning.  Sleeping off that Friday night fun, Gordon owners woke around noon on Saturday to see their (possibly) lone source of stolen bases will be out for half a season.  So what is an RCLer to do?  With the inability to DL him, you’re either forced to drop him, or let him burn a very valuable roster spot for 3 months.  I highly doubt anyone would trade anything of value for him at this point.  When he does come back will he be rusty?  Will he be PED free and back to hitting just above the Mendoza line?  How many bases can he steal in the final 60 games and will that be worth the wasted roster spot?  The way I turn and burn my roster, I say absolutely not.  Give me Rajai Davis on days he plays and the streaming middle infield of Alcides Escobar, Danny Santana and Jonathan Villar to make up the difference and let someone else be hogtied with Dee for half the year.  It’s a darn shame that a batting title is now tainted over this, but there’s really hardly any downside for Dee here.  He got paid, a guaranteed contract, and that’s worth whatever shade is thrown his way now.  Sure, he loses about 5 million of that contract to the suspension, but that’s hardly a deterrent when there’s another 45 million that’s all but in the bank.  It’s too bad and it’s also too bad that not a peep of this was known about before now.  Dee allegedly tested positive during spring training.  If any hint of that had leaked, at least fantasy drafters would have something to go on and possibly avoid him.  Instead, they’re left high and dry.  This is a pretty big suspension for league dynamics everywhere and I wouldn’t be surprised if the likes of Billy Hamilton and Jarod Dyson are traded for a premium over the next couple weeks.  Here’s what else happened in the RCLs this in the week that was, week 4:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Once in a while, a break is a good thing. It’s especially a good thing in DFS. Yeah, yeah, I always see people on Twitter saying things like #keepgrindin, but a losing streak is a losing streak and who really wants to see their bankroll dwindle away because they are chasing a winning night. A little over two weeks ago I went through a stretch where I couldn’t lose. I cashed nine out of 10 nights, which is relatively impressive. The streak ended last Tuesday with a brutal night and continued on Wednesday with an equally unimpressive showing. With that said, vacation called and I went to Boston for the weekend. I didn’t play DFS, I rarely thought about it, and most of all, I enjoyed the break. I came back with a vengeance on Monday night and cashed in all of my double-ups and 50/50s making the four-day break worthwhile. So let this be a lesson. If you’re getting hammered every night, step back and take a breather. Or, just drink more and pass out. Either way, you’ll be drunk or you’ll save your bankroll. You can’t win every night, but you can certainly win the majority of games you play. Oh, and even with his $12,100 price tag, feel free to use Jake Arrieta against a very good Pittsburgh offense. He’s the best pitcher in baseball not named Clayton Kershaw.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Pod returns with a hot new show full of yelling, weirdness, and even with some Grey stalking! That’s right, we learn about someone Grey used to stalk while growing up, and mayyyyybe continues to stalk to this day… Also on today’s show, we reply to some of your awesome comments from last week’s Pod post, Victor Martinez‘s hot start, and what to make of Brandon Drury. Shocker! Grey has fun pronouncing that name! We then get into a hotly contested trade I made in the Perts RCL which I’m sure you commenters will endlessly ridicule, the Dee Gordon suspension, and hot pitching prospects getting called up. There’s just so much going on, that Grey only had 3 or 4 tangents instead of his average 10! Small sample size though, I imagine on the year that will regress to the mean of about 10… Here’s our latest edition of the Razzball Baseball Podcast:

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Devin Mesoraco was diagnosed with a torn labrum in his shoulder after missing most of last year with a torn labrum in his hip.  My Latin may be off, but I believe tearing two labrums means severe vagina pain.  The last thing he’ll want to do is be squatting.  Devin Mesoraco now has more torn labrums than Nadia Comaneci.  This torn labrum finally gives Mesoraco an alibi to his ugly.  If he were going to get a torn labrum of somewhere, I would’ve thought it was his most prominent feature, his sunken eyes.  Uncle Fester called, he wants his face back!  Tucker Barnhart (1-for-4, 1 run, hitting .298) will take over the catcher duties for Mesoraco.  Barnhart has 3-homer power, so he’s not recommended outside of leagues that are Cousteau deep.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Man, what a week for starting pitcher callups!  Thankfully we’re seeing Major League clubs unshy of bringing up their future aces instead of being little scaredy-cats and using the Super 2 as a crutch.  “Stop wasting some of your better pitched innings in the Minors, ya bums!”  That was me two years ago.  I was also skinnier and not married yet, so not everything has gotten better…

Right on the heels of the Jose Berrios callup, the A’s promoted Sean Manaea after an absolutely meteoric rise after being traded by the Royals in the Ben Zobrist deal.  Manaea always had power stuff and great K-rates, but never quite harnessed the command to get himself atop prospect lists.  But when you have awesome pure stuff, sometimes one minor tweak can take you from “meh” to “mania”!  After a 21:4 K:BB in Triple A over 18 innings this year, it certainly came with a lot of fanfare that Manaea was getting called up, and he’s surely scooped up in almost all leagues at this point.  Is he worth all the hype?  Here’s how he looked on Friday night in his MLB debut against the Astros:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sinatra

Ever made a girl swoon for you? Now, obviously I’m writing this from the angle of a guy, asking the question to other guys, even though if you listen to the podcast maybe we should change that direction after Grey being called effeminate in the most recent episode (haha!). But before you puff up your pride and answer that question in your head, ‘Well, yeah!’ let’s play the comparison game. Teddy Roosevelt says ‘Comparison is the thief of joy,’ and if ole Teddy is right then let me sap your joy for a moment: none of us could serenade and swoon like Frank Sinatra. Dude’s timeless, suave, and the epitome of cool. But why in the world am I beginning a fantasy baseball post by discussing Frank Sinatra’s game? Because even the best of ’em need a little luck.

Typically I argue that fantasy football requires much more luck than fantasy baseball, as the length and grueling nature of the season allows for managers to actually manage themselves into the playoffs and further. It’s a fallacy to believe that luck isn’t involved, though. In ‘Luck Be a Lady,’ one of Sinatra’s most iconic songs, he tells the story of needing Lady Luck’s presence to win his bet. In order to win your league, you better start swooning that scantily-clad dame of fortune as soon as you can. How? Nail the draft, avoid the DL, and pick up the right hitters at the right time. I’m here for the last one, you could probably use some help on the first one, and we’re gonna need a lot of help with that middle portion for this week’s Creeper of the Week (and even the honorable mention).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I hate this. Stupid SAGNOF! Pisses me off to no end. The worst part of the strategy is at times, you have to own guys you may dislike, or in my case, hate. It goes with the territory and when they succeed, it takes away some of the burn of the past. But when they fail, they become deader than Randy Quaid’s career. Like this GIF, sometimes it results in a wedgie and everyone laughing at you. Thanks SAGNOF wedgie. This is what I struggle with, the unsavory characters you have to hang around and the resulting public humiliation when you fail. But when you nail it… BOOM!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I usually look forward to Monday’s during the Fantasy Baseball season, but today’s starting pitching has me a little down. Certainly, if you take a quick glance, things don’t seem so bad as Johnny Cueto, Gerrit Cole, Jason Hammel, Adam Wainwright and Gio Gonzalez are on the bump tonight. Now I know you’re thinking that some of those names are quite attractive, but unfortunately we’ve got some Buttafaces on the slate for today. Gio looks like he got his groove back until you look closer and see he’s faced Atlanta, Minnesota and Philly twice. Cueto has looked lost all season and even though he had 11 K’s and 0 ER last time out, he was facing the Padres. Waino has Philadelphia tonight and maybe he gets back on track, but with his current numbers, he needs a lot more than a solid matchup for me to throw any money his way. Cole and Hammel are facing each other, but both offenses are in the top three in runs and average vs RHP, so probably not the best matchups to jump on. Now that we’ve maneuvered through the mediocre minefield who’s left? Who can turn our Monday frown upside down? That man is Dallas Keuchel and at a reasonable $9,900, he’s our star tonight. He was great in DK last year and even though he’s been struggling this year I think tonight he gets back to his Cy Young form. All but 4 of his 5 starts have come on the road this season and if we take a deeper look into last year he rocked a 1.46/3.77 ERA split. He’s got a great match-up against the Twinkies tonight and my awesome In-Laws Tom & Cindy assured me that the Houston home cooking tonight will be on point for our boy to return to the Dallas Kyer’s Club.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Could this finally be Brett Lawrie‘s post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-POST-post hype breakout?  I don’t want to overrate or prorate or ameliorate a past inveterate obturate to eviscerate execrate, try not to hate, love your mate, mediate or flip through cards like Michael Hutchence forth, Sandoval’s girth, Andrelton’s not from this earth, movie remake that never went anywhere was North by North.  Yesterday, Lawrie went 3-for-3 with his third straight game with a homer, and he threw in a steal on Saturday, not a liar like James Frey, in Florida I need my mosquito spray, I have three albums by The Fray, said no one that wasn’t gay, which is totally okay.  I was very high on Lawrie in the preseason, and right now he’s on pace for 20+ HRs, 12-15 SBs and hitting .290.  On its own this would be implausible, laughable, impossible, insoluble in water, but he hit 16 homers last year, is only 26 years old and has easy 15-steal speed, so it’s not INXS of the possible.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?