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Oh no, I feel my alter ego B. Fire coming on for Bryan Reynolds, The Rap:

Fantasy Master Lothario, don’t abbreviate,
Don’t flip giant index cards like INXS that rhyme with hate, procreate or Kate…
& Allie! Like, oh my God, gag me with the spoon,
Valley! That Indian Pirates pitcher’s name wasn’t Rajneeshpuram Commune,
Ma Anand Sheela! With rhymes on both sides of the comma,
Tequila! Pee-Wee Herman knocking bikes over, oh, the trauma,
Center? Nah, Bryan Reynolds is a left fielder on the Pirates who’s been hitting for the last few weeks.  There’s a chance he flames out, but Reynolds did have five homers in only 13 games of Triple-A, then was promoted and began to do the exact same thing in the majors.  It’s not surprising with the two leagues sharing balls.  By the way, this might be the wackiest early storyline. Because Triple-A is using the same balls it doesn’t mean a ton because there are different pitchers in the minors.
Bunch of whiners!

*rubs towel on sweaty forehead* Thank you, thank you.  For my next song, we have a special guest…Lastings Milledge!  Okay, okay, Lastings, you don’t have to high-five everyone in the audience.  Any hoo!  Reynolds has been hitting near-.350 across two levels (Triple-A and majors) and has 10 homers in only 54 games.  He’s a definite buy.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball: