MY INITIAL FIVE SELECTIONS HAVING BEEN MADE, I decided to stop a moment and look around. I had come into this effort so headstrong, and so assured, that I did not consider for a moment what my opposition might be up to. I had assumed that my zigging and their zagging would leave me feeling accomplished.

Quite the contrary.

I had been correct in my assumption that The Acefecta would be unique as far as strategies go, and yet, gnawing at my mind like the ceaseless banshee shriek of nails dragged across a blackboard was one fact: I was not the only manager who found himself with three pitchers after five rounds.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Mon 8/4
ARI | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | ATH | CHW | OAK | SEA | WSH

Since we’re talking closers, I just want to expand a bit on my closer strategy. I mentioned in part 1 of this article that my plan at closer is to wait and grab two of the tier 3 closers and then just try to play the FAAB game. Some may scoff at that idea and think it’s too risky but I think it’s the best play in this format. I get it, it’s human nature to crave safety and security. We come out of the womb and one of the first things we do is try and latch on to our mom’s boobs because that’s comforting. Similarly, many of us want to grab an early closer and feel that warm comfort of knowing that we have 30 saves locked up. Is grabbing a closer like sucking on your mom’s nipples? Somewhat. While there’s really not much downside to breastfeeding (at least according to my lactation consultant), there is a huge downside to taking a closer in those early rounds.

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This was the hardest draft of my life. I kid sometimes you can draft something like four of five guys in my top 20 overall, unless you’re in a league with 11 other Greys. Well, this league felt like I was in a league with 14 other Greys. This draft was like everyone was sitting in my head and moving my arms and I was Howdy Doody and my team turned to doodie and GET OUT OF MY HEAD, I scream as I take two Dusty Baker collectible toothpicks and jam them into my ears. Honestly, this league kinda filled me with joy. Y’all are so good. I was very impressed with everyone’s drafting. No teams jumped out as complete messes. Well, except for mine. It was like you flew out of the nest, turned around to me your Daddy Bird, smiled, and then motioned for a woodpecker to take out my branch so I would fall to my death. Why are you working with woodpeckers behind my back?! (By the by, we just added ten more RCL leagues due to demand — Play against a hundred of your greatest frenemies! — signups) Anyway, here’s my 15-team, mixed league, NFBC Draft Champions recap:

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We all have different conceptions of what is/isn’t gross. I hate mayonnaise. It’s the most disgusting thing and the mere sight of it makes me want to puke. Mustard too. I can deal with ketchup, but sometimes it makes me gag as well. I know, I’m a freaking weirdo. I don’t care. I don’t care. Grossness is triggered by any of the senses. Some can’t stand the sight of toe jam, while others cringe at the sound of nails scraping a blackboard. Smell can make one float in the air like Pepe Le Pew or barf like Stewie Griffin. I traveled to Hong Kong many years ago with my wife and one day she brought a bag of durian into the hotel room. Once she opened the bag, the smell. The god-awful smell permeated the entire room. It was straight-up chemical warfare. I keeled over into a fetal position, put a pillow over my head, and held my breath. I would rather die than smell another whiff of that fruit. Then my wife kicked my balls and inserted a piece of durian into my mouth. O. M. G. Heaven. Bliss. Which brings me to Robbie Grossman of the Detroit Tigers. He looks like shit and probably smells like shit after playing nine innings, but is there some savory sweetness for fantasy that can induce a chef’s kiss?

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When I decided to name this piece the RP Thrift Shop I couldn’t get the Macklemore jam by the same name out of my head. So here I sit, wearing a fake mink coat, shaving the sides of my head. Like Mack I’m not looking to spend $50 on a t-shirt. I’ll take the 99 cent stuff that smells like R-Kelly’s sheets. Thus, the framework is laid. Let’s talk relievers. Maybe Ryan Lewis will drop a bomb chorus for us.

 

The Gucci shirt: Edwin Diaz

If you just look at Diaz’s 2020 surface numbers when you’re in the draft room you might click his name when it’s your pick. What those numbers leave out is how the Mets protected him from his Molotov throwing self for an entire month of a two-month season. Sounds exactly like someone you want to invest a top 100 pick on.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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‘Member the days when I told you that you needed a top 1st basemen and you shouldn’t look for sleepers at this position? Don’t remember? Prolly for best, leave more room in your brain to remember an excuse for why you didn’t exercise. Previously, I’d tell you to go to my top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball (not clickbait at all) and draft some top guys and stop fooling around with sleepers at this position. Of course, I’m malleable like Gumby and this year we need to look for sleepers at 1st base *ducks head*.  Whoa, someone threw a wrench into this! Fine, Pete Alonso and Matt Olson get my nethers ablaze, but 1st basemen dry up quick. As with other positions like the catchers to target (again, not clickbait), these are 1st basemen that are being drafted late. For the 1st basemen, I’m going with an ADP of 150 or later to be included in this post. Anyway, here’s some 1st basemen to target for 2021 fantasy baseball:

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Razzball Commenter League drafts are going off in full force!  It’s officially DRAFT SZN.  Don’t let the chance to play with your favorite writers and commenters in free leagues for an overall top prize pass you by!  Almost every spot is taken in our first round of drafts, but we’ve added more!  Based on comments from you all we’ve added another draft for our European friends and a few more money leagues.  With the drafting of leagues comes the return of the RCL ADP spreadsheet!  Now we can really dive into the data and over-analyze to our hearts content.  From the spreadsheet you can see all the RCL ADP data, the ADP over time as well as a breakdown of round 1 data.  Ronald Acuna is dominating the number one draft pick so far (10 of 11 leagues) and 15 different players have made a first round appearance.  Granted, we only have 11 leagues worth of data to comb through, but it’s a start.  Go sign up for a league drafting in the next couple weeks and contribute to our data pool.  The more data, the better I always say.  It’s so easy to sign-up, it’s really just one click!  Use it as a mock draft that is actually useful.  We drafted the Writer’s League this weekend and will be covering it in the coming weeks.  Today, we’ll be going over how to approach your pitching in the RCL format, hopefully to get you prepped for the first draft of the year.

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If you were here last week for Your Favorite Rookie Sleeper’s Favorite Rookie Sleepers Volume 1you might remember we were scheduled to discuss Tyrone Taylor today. A huge part of my fascination with Taylor came down to Lorenzo Cain being old and injured. I’ll be surprised at this point if Cain ever returns to his previous life as an everyday centerfielder. With Milwaukee’s signing of Jackie Bradley Jr., Cain became an extra piece. I know the Brewers front office initially said he’d remain the centerfielder with JBJ sliding over to right, but that was before Cain attempted to resume playing baseball, which did not go well. He’s laid up with leg troubles, probably needs a cane to walk, so there’s still glimmer enough for Taylor to break camp with the big club. Still, he’s less appealing to me today than he was last week. Jackie Bradley Jr. is a very good big leaguer in a great place to have his career year  thanks to a very kind park for left handed hitters and less-than-exceptional slate of pitchers in the NL Central. 

I still like Tyrone Taylor as a player and think he could break through in a big way next season when Cain and Avisail Garcia aren’t around, for what it’s worth. In hindsight, I should not have declared my next three sleepers that far out anyway. A week in Spring Training during the heart of Draft Season is worth at least a month of the off-season calendar, and I’d never pick three players I’ll be talking about a month from now, I think. I’m often a mystery to myself, truth be told, so let’s push forward and find out who’ll get the feature-piece treatment this week. 

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And the men who hold high places

Must be the ones who start

To mold a new reality

Closer to the heart

 

What? You didn’t know that Toronto-based prog rock band Rush were huge roto baseball fans? That song was released in 1977 — the same year the Toronto Blue Jays played their inaugural season. It’s actually about their love for under-appreciated closer Pete Vuckovich who saved 8 games for the blue birds that year. A lot of us have that same love for certain closers and when it comes to draft time we think with our hearts rather than our heads. 

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Here, friend, are some catchers that I will be targeting at my 2021 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone. I’m not going to get into the strategy of punting catchers. Been there, half-drunkenly wrote that during the Ottoman Empire. Applies to oranges, it still applies. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2021 projections and blurbs I wrote for them. This is a (legal-in-most-countries) supplement to the top 20 catchers of 2021 fantasy baseball. Now, guys and five girl readers, I am not saying avoid catchers like Yasmani Grandal if they fall, but, to get on this list, a catcher needs to be drafted later than 200 overall, and, to preemptively answer at least seven comments, yes, I will go around the entire infield, outfield and pitchers to target very late. Anyway, here’s some catchers to target for 2021 fantasy baseball:

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THE INVITATION CAME ON 8 FEBRUARY in a gilded envelope, printed with the finest inks of the Far East, on the heaviest parchment I’d ever felt. One knew, simply by sight, that the contents of the envelope were destined to change the life of the man– or woman– to whom it was addressed.

It came from a man named “Donkey Teeth”… I assume this is a man, as sure as I am that the post was not, in fact, sent by the sentient protrusions from the alveolar of an ass. This Mr. D. Teeth was inviting all recipients of the missive to something called a RazzSlam.

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Part two of our dramatic two part series on the Top 100 Outfielders for 2021 Fantasy Baseball comes to it’s conclusion this week. Will Grey join the two great kingdoms into one fabulous list? Will we spend 40 minutes discussing Jarred Kelenic? Will we talk about Dylan Carlson? Will the name DJ Stewart be uttered? I’m not telling you’re just going to have to listen as Grey and I drop a gem on em’ like P-Dolo and Havoc. It’s the latest episode of the Razzball Baseball Podcast!

Please, blog, may I have some more?