I feel like such a dope anytime someone sends me a message written in acronymoglyphs. Sure, I know LOL. I’m not a complete moron but everything else has me going to the good ole Google machine. Even then, I have questions. Do I click on Urban Dictionary or not? The prudent thing is usually to eschew UD but I need the street cred. So, to exhibit my proficiency in acronymoglyphs, this post will be dedicated to my new creation: A. S. S. Anthony Santander Sucks. The beauty of this acronym is that it can be used in a sentence: Anthony Santander sucks A. S. S. He’s the 574th player on the Razzball Player Rater. To be fair, Santander has not always sucked but he’s sucking A. S. S. so far this season, which has led 12.1% of owners in ESPN leagues to drop him. Who’s going to be the A. S. S. at the end of the season?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Sun 8/3
ARI | ATH | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | ATL | CIN | OAK

Here we are on a Wednesday. We had a close double-up win last week and are now 1-1 on the season with our Razzball DFS articles in building winning lineups. I am writing the short schedule Wednesday evening article today so looking to find the guys that are going to be zeroes that turn into […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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In Prospect Itch’s last news report on Sunday, he said, “Athletics RHP Mason Miller was sitting 100 mph in his Friday night start. He struck out 11 batters over five perfect innings and probably belongs in Oakland’s rotation already. I doubt he’ll get there soon. Always tougher to predict these cases where service time–not skill–is the primary determinant of a prospect’s timeline. If it was up to me, I’d just punch Grey’s face all day.” What on earth? So, Itch is right and wrong. Mason Miller was called up to start today, and it is hard to predict these things. I would’ve also guessed the A’s never call up Mason Miller, because the A’s are playing for a one-way ticket to Vegas. Shows you how much pull the Freemasons really have. *pulls string on conspiracy board* If a Mason is a builder in stone, and the team name is in his name as M-A’s-on, then he’s Gavin Stone on the A’s. Whoa, doggie! So, Miller’s minor league stats are hilarious in a good and bad way. He’s got potential to have a 15+ K/9, and might stay healthy for 15 innings total. Since 2021, he has 28 2/3 IP. Oh…*marches to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro*…kay. He’s worth a flyer, but I wouldn’t expect many innings. Only way Mason Miller’s getting 2 W’s with that team before the All-Star Break is if he’s turned upside down. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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“Wisdom is knowing when you don’t know. Wisdom is knowing when you do know. Wisdom is not spraying mace on your apple pie when it calls for mace, because that mace they’re talking about is the outside of nutmeg not the shizz that makes your eyes cry during a riot. Wisdom is not saying, “Nutmeg? I barely know her,” every time someone says nutmeg. Wisdom is Patrick Wisdom (3-for-5, 4 RBIs) hitting his 7th and 8th homer, and 4th and 5th homer in the last four games. Looking for a guy who could hit 40 homers (and prolly .210)? That’s true Wisdom…I think, is that what that says?” That’s me reading a fortune cookie’s fortune that is so long that it’s in such a tiny font it’s hard to read. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Friends and family and enemies who read this for the schadenfreude — we’re 10% into the 2023 MLB season! The Twins and the Rays are the best teams in baseball, and Kyle Freeland is your Cy Young frontrunner. Let’s Freeland GO! 

For longtime Razzball readers, you know the motto is still: Don’t Panic. Three games started. 10% of the season. How many of y’all quit one episode into a Netflix series? Maybe that’s why the icon for Squid Game is that robot girl. Or maybe Netflix thinks the prime demographic for the show are fans of cybernetic giantess fantasies. It’s probably both, to be fair. I, for one, would love to see The Terminator throw 120 MPH with his right arm while simultaneously blasting T-1000s with a gun in his left hand. But until we see Ahnold blasting his way to the mound, we’ve got our human pitchers and they’ve got their flaws. 10% of the season is still a drop of non-GMO motor oil in the sea.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome back!  I hope you survived the weekend and if you’re seeing this, it means you’ve won the war against IT and Spambots in order to gain access to Razzball once again.  Who are the people responsible for these bots?  What is there to gain from crashing a fantasy baseball blog?  I have so many […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?