So it’s Saturday, you ain’t got nothing better to do so slide on over to DraftKings. I mean what ekse could you be doing that will take the time it takes to set-up a lineup. Mowing the lawn, really it will still be there in 10 mins. Take the kids to school, come on man there ain’t no skool on Saturday. I am out of other stuff that may be going on to be honest. We here at Razzball give you all types of daily tools, Stream-O-Nator and Hitter-Tron, I mean what else do you want? How about a long boring diatribe by a dude form NJ? Well if you said yes to the diatribe, first go get a dictionary and make sure you know what that means. Second go to the garage or work shop grab a lump hammer and smash yourself over the hand with it. I am boring and what I am going to talk about usually starts with por and ends with an n. So enjoy the weekends’ palate of yummy baseball goodness. Oh and good luck.
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Who could have predicted that Justin Morneau would have a career revival after moving to Coors Field? Nearly everybody. Yes, he’s clearly benefitting from his favorable home park, but he’s also hitting well on the road. He appears to be swinging at nearly everything and, fortunately, is hitting it so far. However, this approach isn’t sustainable, even in Coors. I think he’s a great sell-high candidate if you can find somebody who believes that he’s going to maintain anywhere near this level of performance due to his new home ballpark. Even with some regression, I think the park and aggressive approach will allow him to have a noticeable improvement from his past couple seasons, with a .280/.350/.480 line going forward. This is roughly his career slash line, so it’s a reasonable expectation for him. Anyway, here are some other players on my mind and what it means for OPS and OBP leagues:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Growing up was tough in the Phillies organization. His older brother, Ryan Howard, got mixed up with the “Three Outcome” gang and couldn’t get out when the homers stopped coming. His moms wanted a better life for Jon Singleton and called up his Pops in Houston to provide a safer home. In a perfect world, Jon wouldn’t have to grow up fast — stay with the minors — but they need a man in the house in Houston and who they have at first base now could only look worse if he had jheri curl. In the last few games, Chris Carter’s DH’d and Marc Krauss has played 1st base. Doesn’t entirely matter, the Astros have to make room for Singleton. Makes no sense to keep him in the minors. Just as it didn’t for Springer, and they called him up. Why do we care? Singleton is in the mold of a young Ryan Howard. He could hit 40 homers right now. In the minors this year, he has 8 homers in 19 games while batting .325. There’s nothing left for him to prove. I’ve already stashed him in one league, and I rarely waste roster spots on rookie stashes. Moo stashes on the other hand, well… I did already give you a Jon Singleton 2014 fantasy, but that was projecting for a June call-up, and I think he could win the landmark case of sooner vs. later, which would tag about six homers on his projected total. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?“He is a prince of Dorne. Men and women will line up to f*ck him until the day he dies.”
[Game of Thrones spoilers ahead!] The probable reign of Prince Giancarlo Stanton, aka The Yardfather from House Ravishing, is upon us. Has anyone among you ever witnessed such a statuesque and magnificently proportioned beast? Has a single one of you viewed a more virtuous and angelic presence, possessing both kindness and strength? Here and now I command you to step forward if you have knowledge of a more deserving candidate! Did someone just say, Adam Jones? That sort of insolence is usually rewarded with a swift kick to the chin from my steel toed, ostrich leather boots! Stanton leads the majors with 27 RBIs and holds a sturdy .357 OBP, and that’s with the usual disgraceful lineup protection. I swear to the Elder Gods, I almost came in my Versace man-thong when Stanton crushed that walk-off grand slam against Seattle (my home team) last week. Is Prince Giancarlo’s emergence near the time of disgraceful King Joffrey’s death coincidence? I think not.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Stepping aside from my DraftKings role here, I used to feel sorry for coach Porter. He’s dealing with all the fluff that won’t be in an Astros uniform by 2015 in his starting 9 minus Springer right now. He’s there to instill the day to day process and hustle into these kids. But you know what he’s not here to do? Stir stuff up. Yeah, yeah, you’re trying to show your team that you have heart by taking exception to Jed Lowrie‘s bunt in the first when you’re down 7-0 in the first inning last week. Well then don’t play the shift! Give up now, Bro Porter, or forever hold your beef. BTW, I don’t call people Bro unless I don’t like them, Porter. So now that we’re clear on that mess, Bro Porter had the audacity to send his reliever out to plunk Jed last night after he’d already gone 3/4 against his team while he was down 8-1. Now, I’m not a big believer in ‘revenge’ games but Oakland is just the better team right now, Bro Porter, and you’ve essentially kicked the hornet’s nest. What’s this all mean to you, you ask? Well, I’m hard-pressed to believe this mess puts a charge into the lethargic Astros and Jesse Chavez gets to mop up. I’m not gonna lie and tell you I’m a full season Chavez believer but what I do believe in is this: the Astros as a team strike out at a 4th worst 24.3% strikeout rate and Jesse averages over a strikeout per inning on this young season. When you add those numbers together, JC Super-Arm is due for at least 57.2 Ks today…give or take about 50. The reality is, he has zero weather issues and looks to be the safest arm to rely on for Friday given the weather concerns circling the East Coast. Even though the Stream-O-Nator is lukewarm on the idea, there’s some gold here and I’d take advantage if I can afford it. I’ll put it to you this way: the highest rated batter on Hitter-Tron for this tilt that plays for the Astros is George Springer and he’s batting .171 at the moment. If this were twitter, I’d say #yikes. But it’s not so I’ll move on and remind you that today – yes TODAY – is the Sweet Spot kickoff. We’ve been talking about it for forever and now you get to put your moola to work. I wish you the safest of journeys on your trek to financial glory. May the best man/woman/fantasy baseball vermin win. And with that, let’s get on with the pickins…
Please, blog, may I have some more?Go, go, go, go, go, go. Go, Corey, it is your birthday. We want to party like it is your birthday. *dance like a white man that has on parachute pants* We will sip Bacardi like it is your birthday. And you know we do not give an expletive it is not your birthday. I see Corey Kluber on my iPad and I want to kick him in the ass, but I still can’t make heads or tails of him. “Mr. Kluber, why do you bring anguish to my potluck dinner?” Justin Masterson had RSVP’d already with anguish! Ugh, I really don’t know what to make of Kluber. He’s hella risky and, yes, I still say hella. After his start yesterday — 9 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks — you obviously have to own him if he’s on your waivers. The good news is his BABIP is obscenely unlucky (.353). The bad news is his velocity is down. He gets the Angels next and the Stream-o-Nator doesn’t like it and I’d be lying if I told you I had the utmost confidence in him. In other words, own him, but it could be a rocky road without delicious marshmallows. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ah, charts with actual stats are so much nicer to look at. The first bullpen report of the year was like reading Playboy in braile, ’cause technically we shouldn’t need both hands, but we do. The cream is rising to the proverbial top when you look at the chart below. The familiar names are settling in, and if you drafted some of them, or they have been mentioned in the closenado of 2014 for save chances, they probably are owned, were owned or some semblance there in between. Middle relievers are like that old cartoon Pound Puppies, yeah they are cute and good ‘n all, but they are still living in the pound in acartoon. No homes to go to, no freedom… Sad, but as kids we were fooled. Relievers are much the same, they never really have a home unless we give them one.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The first time I got a Led Zeppelin album was when I was 11 years old and my brother hooked me up with Led Zeppelin II. What a life changing moment, I was so utterly in love and confused all at the same time. What great riffs and mind bending sounds that turned everything musically I knew, which was very little, upside down and changed the course of my musical tastes from then on out. I wasn’t afraid anymore to try something I hadn’t watched on MTV or heard on the radio. Back then, 1986, we had very few options for our music and you had to use nobs and a steady hand to “tune in” to get static free tunes. Cute story J-FOH! I know 3rd personality, what is the point? Well 3rd personality, like our lead today, Scott Kazmir, we have a starting pitcher that is someone that is confusing to love, has forced us to change our tastes, and reminds me of a mesmerizing jam that takes me back to Fast Times at Ridgemont High. In the buildup to Rat’s date with Stacy, Damone advises him on his 5 point plan and tells him to play side one of Led Zeppelin 4, but low and behold he has Kashmir on the radio, which is off Physical Graffiti, the putz can’t even follow the plan. I feel like Rat when I keep passing on Kazmir in roto leagues this year. But why? I can’t get over the train wreck that he was for so long after starting out so promising. I think Matt Moore is ready to be the next Kazmir. We’ll see you back to relevance in 4-5 years Mr. Moore. Cleveland did a nice job in their reclamation projects last year, WTF is going on this year, and you need to trust him going against the Astros. He should be good for 8 K’s and a big fat W.
Our DraftKings King and deep league thinker Sky wrote a pre-season article about Mr. Kazmir here. How great minds think alike or is it how narrowly we think with our Led Zeppelin references? It’s the obvious lead in. We could be talking about our Kazmir sweaters, Kazmir scarves, or the Kazmir region of northwest India. But we didn’t and that’s OK. This is daily fantasy y’all, by tomorrow all will be forgotten and we will move on to a new day and a new set of players to tickle our fancy. For today though lets stick to Mr. Kazmir. He’s an expensive play and I get that is not always the best strategy, but after looking at what else is out there I have to highly recommend him. It’s worth the money and here is why. The Astros have the highest K rate in MLB, second lowest runs total, the worst team BABIP, and are the team of my newest hat. It’s f-ing pimp yo’s! Winning at DraftKings is wholly dependent on two things, great pitching matchups like the kind you can find on the Stream-O-Nator and great hitting matchups like the kind provided to you by that commercial grade stainless steal sex machine the Hitter-Tron.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Funny that Mark Trumbo has a stress fracture in his foot, because I now have a stress fracture in my stress-bearing frontal lobe. “You wanna remember your anniversary with the Cougar or Mark Trumbo’s recovery timetable?” Shut up, frontal lobe, I hate you! I wish you were dead! *wavy lines* Hey, I have no frontal lobe anymore. Cool, I really like this episode of The Big Bang Theory. They are a gang of funny people! I wish Slystevesr Stallone would do more movies. He’s so awesome. Slvester? Why is there a red line under that? Damn, I can’t spell my favorite movie star’s name without my frontal lobe! *wavy lines* Okay, I’m glad I have a frontal lobe, but not glad I have Mark Trumbo on multiple deep league teams. Wah, wah, wah, that’s the sound of my sad Trumbone. This could mean more playing time for Tony Campana — SAGNOF! — or steady playing time for Cody Ross — um, AGNOF!, I guess. Last time Trumbo had a stress fracture — how many stress fractures does this guy have? — he was laid up for close to six months. Yay. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Billy Butler burned his fanboys last year, after a strong campaign in 2012. I know everyone around here lovingly (or maybe bitterly) calls him “Moobs”, but that probably hurts his feelings… I bet that’s why he started out so slow this year.
I am tweaking the categories a bit this time, because this methodology is still a work in progress. Here are some quick notes on my patent-pending Jer-o-matic (not geriatric…but similar) system:
- For the injury risk category, a higher score means a player is less likely to miss time
- For the production category, a score of 50% means repeating last year’s production
- Scores about 50% are better than the previous year
- Scores below 50% are worse than the previous year
- A total score of 10 out of 20 is considered repeating last year’s performance
- Scores about this are better than the previous year
- Scores below this are worse than the previous year
So many times the so-called experts give you the names and the numbers, but you never really know how the ‘perts are doing in their DFS play. Well, my unkempt Razzballers, you’re humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru will share with you my results all season long. Will my winnings enable me to spend the winter in Cancun or will I go bust and be left turbanless and living under the bridge? We shall see. So far we’re looking at sand and sunshine. I’ve been in the money in 45 of 65 DraftKings contests. I’ll admit I don’t bet big. (A good tip: never wager more than 10% of your bankroll in any given day.) I also play mainly 50-50s/double-ups and head-to-heads where the odds of cashing are much better. It’s a good way to build a bankroll in the early going. I also use a couple different philosophies when playing DFS. 1) Ace and stack philosophy: One or two teams featuring the days best pitcher and a stack of players from teams that’ll score a lot. I used Jose Fernandez and a stack of Tigers last night. It cashed. 2) Stream-a-tron philosophy: I use Razzball’s Stream-o-nator and Hitter-tron to construct a team consisting of the two best pitchers along with hitters the ‘tron projects to produce that also fit under my budget. This may not win a tourney, but it cashes out in 50/50’s at a pretty good rate. Yesterday the Stream and the ‘tron liked David Price and Hyun-Jin Ryu along with Buster Posey, Miguel Cabrera and Hunter Pence. Not sure how this worked, but as of this writing I’m 27th out of 140 players. That’s one step closer to umbrella drinks and me showing off my tan lines.
With the rambling out of the way, don’t forget to join the DraftKings Sweet Spot challenge and we could frolic on the beach together with our thongs filled with $400,000 in cash. If you’re new to the game, keep in mind DraftKings virgins get a free $2 ticket.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The H is O! Oh, no, Jose Fernandez has me so jazzed, I need to bust some rhymes. I came in the door, I said it before. I never let a top starter magnetize me no more, but watching Fernandez yesterday is biting me, fighting me, inviting me to want a number one starter just this one time. I can’t hold it back, I’m looking at his pitching line — 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 14Ks. Taking off my coat, and that’s me quoting Rakim’s quote, his pitches were kicking it until his last hitter, Ryan Doumit. My mind remains refined, all kinds of ideas. Self-esteem makes it seem like his pitching took years to build, but his age is just twenty-one. Prepared, never scared, he’s just a blessed one. And you know that I’ve never seen that terrible movie with Jamie Foxx, think it was called The Soloist, so Jose F. make ’em clap to this. I said it the other day, but in case you weren’t reading, Fernandez is going to be the best pitcher going into next year. Thought he was a donut, you tried to glaze him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?