Today, it’s the final Buy of the year. Next week, we’ll be doing one last roundup on Monday and recaps the rest of the month until I start on 2015 rookies that could make an impact. In other words, where the hell did the summer go? And does this mean I have to go back to spending time with Cougs? To paraphrase the Broadway musical Rent (or maybe it was Abe Lincoln), eight thousand, two hundred million seconds, five hundred trillion milliseconds and three fortnights ago, our forefathers had a full head of hair and began on a journey to win their fantasy league. Today, I sit in front of you, a changed man, if we were to count my underwear. No longer do I love unconditionally any man (in redraft leagues). Now I simply like hot schmotatoes. And today’s hot schmotato is Ender Inciarte. So, sneaky good, he’s got CIA in the middle of his name. Ender has six steals this month and is hitting .400 in the last week. There’s no time to worry about the future, only the present. I call this Ender’s Game. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Jake Smolinski – And now, the end is near. And I face the final hot schmotato. My friend, I’ll say it clear. I’ll state my case for Smolinski, of which I’m certain. I’ve lived a life that’s full, though I could have done without Prince Fielder. And more, much more than this, I did it off waivers.
Wilmer Flores – I already gave you my Wilmer Flores fantasy. It was written on the broad side of a barn.
Freddy Galvis – Every hot schmotato this week a third baseman? Where was this bounty of crap when Zimmerman went down? Not to answer, but to ruminate.
Chase Headley – I can’t believe he’s owned in less than 50% of leagues…Actually, I can. Because he sucks, which is appropriate since his name starts with Chase Head.
Derek Jeter – I just went over him this morning. Scroll down. Further. Now, right down that alley, Karen.
Jonathan Villar – I wonder if I could get H.R. Clinton at a book signing to X out ‘GE’, add an R and make it “It Takes A Villar,” and sign it to SAGNOF. On a side note, I Googled “Hillary Clinton lesbian?” and only Jenny McCarthy has questioned this. What has the world come to? By the by, I enjoy how I Googled that like it could be true but I just hadn’t heard yet. I’m a moron.
Rougned Odor – He had 6 homers in August/September with two steals. Nah, it ain’t much, and I still think he might be a year away from really excelling for mixed leagues, but he’s only going to be 21 years old in February of next year. Yes, he’s not even legal to drink yet. Yes, Part II: More Agreement, he’s going to be special by the time he gets to 24 or 25 years old.
Emilio Bonifacio – Emily Boneface finished his novella that was largely based on the feminist movement of the 1870s, and is now stealing bases like crazy. In honor of Dolly Madison, Sylvia Plath and Beyonce, won’t you give Emily Boneface one more chance?
Ryan Rua – Let’s just call this the week the Rangers were good. Maybe they’re playing so free and easy because they’re not constantly worried about the Feds raiding the clubhouse and finding kilos of the devil’s dandruff.
Josh Reddick – He’s hitting near-.600 in the last week. No joshing, Gibson or Johnson.
Chris Coghlan – Hitting near-.500 in the last week with two homers, which is mostly due to a huge game this past weekend, but whatevs. *shrugs* What kind of sample size you got? Why are you dropping your pants? No, stop! Not what I meant!
Zach Putnam – If one save from Putnam makes the difference in your league, then that’s awesome, shizz is tight and that’s how it should be at this time of year. If one save means nothing, you should not own any closers. Drop them for something you could use. This message is brought to you by the Fantasy Master Lothario.
Jared Burton – I swear I almost wrote Levar Burton. Six months of writing about fantasy baseball and I’m daffy, y’all! And my rainbows are all reading.
Drew Hutchison – As with the past couple of weeks, these starters are all about the Stream-o-Nator. Could’ve wrote Ryan Vogelsong here or Ian Kennedy or Rafael Montero or Tommy Thomas or Jose Collmenter or J.A. Happless or anyone. Go to the SON and glare into its infinite light and choose wisely.
SELL
Any Player That Can’t Help You – Guys and four girl readers, this is it. Yes, the season felt longer than Ken Burns’s Roosevelts documentary. Yet, it felt like it was over in a blink, which is not like Ken Burns’s Roosevelts documentary. “The Rough Riders were comprised of a circus clown, a vegetable pickler and a dwarf. That’s not true, but I’m just wondering if anyone’s listening to all of this.” That’s actual narration from the documentary. I played it back to transcribe it. You need to win your fantasy league for your country, your family that you abandoned six months ago and freedom. Drop who you don’t need, and grab who can help you. NOW! Caps for emphasis, not because I have a heavy pinkie.
Avisail hurt his back last night
@J-FOH: Thanks for the heads up! Removed…
@Grey: I cried a little and replaced him with the Rusney Trombone
That’s the team name of at least 12 teams in next year’s RCL, betcha
@Grey: HA! Play my Rusney Trombone! Rim the Rusney Trombone!
At least 12!
@Grey: Im waiting for a team named Greycarlo.
That’s my boy!
@Grey: jef is using that? We known it wont be sky
Sky who?
Y’all snitches be trippin
JFoH started it I believe… I was caught in his hateweb…
@Grey: well played
I put you both on mute at this point. Y’all can drink from the same haterade bottle all you want.
Okay, I give in! Good call on the voice actor doc… Why does changing one’s voice amaze me more than anything else in the world? Splitting atoms? Whatever this guy is talking like a baby!
It’s hard to stay mad at me.
It’s borderline operatic control of your voice. It’s amazing. Makes me wish I stuck with doing impressions when I was younger. I coulda been somebody!
Totally… I did a great Mr Kinsella from 3rd grade! They cheapened it by having Breckin Meyers though, he’s not a voice actor, he’s an actor who can’t get work
Hahahaha…he was great in ‘Go’! When you say his name fast, he sounds like a clothing store at the mall.
Haha… Good call…
Go was one of those movies that was everyone’s best role
Except for Timothy Olyphant…The Girl Next Door!
Oh that’s word
Which reminds me. No Elisha Cuthbert nudes in the world makes me sad
I think it’s spelled noodes… Elisha Cuthbert or Q-Bert? Think on it.
Q-Bert is always nude! Or noode…and now that I’m thinking about a hairy looking ballsack with an ‘elephant trunk’, I’d rather not think about it.
Oh man, Q-Bert’s a cock and ball? That makes everything so much better!
Puts a whole new meaning to the ‘thought bubble’ full of @#$#@#$#@.
Haha
@J-FOH: I passed grey a bottle of my own secret formula of haterade on Monday night. Mute me all you want but until we get audio on here you will just have to read with your eyes closed
@Grey: you can’t resist can you?
It’s difficult
@J-FOH: Real bummed on that one- got him on my h2h and can’t replace him. Fortunately, opp has Big Papi, so we’re sort of even.
@royce!: h2h is about a bitch
Random thought. I don’t think a pitcher should win an MVP. That said, there’s no real all-around dominant NL hitter, and surely not one on a playoff contender. Is Kershaw going to win the MVP almost by default? I mean there’s Stanton, but only 145 games and last time I checked, being on a good team was sort of a tenet.
Hard to imagine Kershaw not winning it this year…As you said, who else? I love Giancarlo, but on the Marlins? 36 HRs? It’s solid, but it’s not like a 55 HR season on a bad team…
@Grey: @J-FOH: I’m not saying a pitcher couldn’t be DESERVING of winning an MVP, I just don’t think they should be ALLOWED to win it. They have the Cy Young. If any player can win an MVP, then offensive players should have their own award also. I mean, if there was no Kershaw this year, would Wainwright win the MVP? I don’t like trying to compare pitchers vs. hitters when discussing an MVP.
Yeah, but no one said MVP was most valuable hitter… There’s silver slugger awards or some shizz that no one cares about for hitters…
@Grey: Ha. Are there? Yeah definitely didn’t know about that. Screw ’em them.
@Cram It: I would usually agree with that. But he has hands down blown away the other pitchers and with as deep as he goes in games, he saves the bullpen and impacts the team for next few days as the other arms get rest. It would be a joke if he doesn’t get it. I thought LaRoche deserved it two years ago when he carried the Nationals to the playoffs with some of the most timely hitting I have ever seen. He ended up getting snubbed by the writers who threw all their love at Posey. I never know what these idiots think but they are idiots writing about a joke of a game any way. Viva los fantasy!!!
@Cram It: I agree. Closest NL batter is McCutchen…crazy thing, though: by Fangraphs standards, Kershaw only has .2 higher WAR than Kluber.
@royce!: yeah because cleveland really sucks and speaking of cleveland where the hell is gareth?
watch any good new shows?
@J-FOH: Good point- if Kershaw had as many starts as Kluber, he’d probably have 25+ wins, which would be insane.
Re: shows- Nope. I’m still trying to catch up with y’all on Silicon Valley. Read some crazy books lately, though. A High Wind In Jamaica is one of the strangest books about childhood I’ve ever read. It’s like the Swiss Family Robinson, but written by a nihilist that thinks children are inherently evil.
Did Werner Herzog write it?
@Grey: Ha! No, it was Richard Hughes, published in 1929. They made a movie about it in the 50s or 60s, but I don’t know if they just made it an adventure movie and omitted the weirdness.
What was the name of the movie? Same name?
@Grey: Yes.
@royce!: Hunh, never heard of it
@Grey: I just watched the trailer and am under the impression that the translation from a book to film didn’t quite work. Maybe it’s ready for a second try
I just saw the movie poster and it didn’t seem like what you described from that alone
@Grey: I think the producers thought they could cash in on the 50s-60s pirate adventure thing, and toned down the story line a bit, but the book has a weird, dark humor and some very violent scenes. Coen brothers maybe could have pulled it off a while ago. Being written in 1929, it also has a lot of casual racism, so it might be best left alone…
Ooh, Coen Brothers are a good call… You watch Fargo show?
@Grey: The NYRB edition (the most recent American edition) has cover art from Henry Darger, which should give you a vague idea of what I mean.
Yup, totally
@Grey: I have not watched the Fargo show. It’s on the list, but so many shows are on the damn list…I wanna watch True Detective before Fargo, and I still have to finish Silicon Valley…I’m so far behind on television.
If I may: Silicon Valley, Fargo then True Detective… Trust me…
@royce!: meet some of the kids my daughter goes to school with and you will believe. As my child gets older i watched the most mind numbing things on TV. Silicon Valley is great. I liked Blackish the other night. Strangely I thought of Grey when i watched it.
@J-FOH: I’m afraid of that as mine gets older…I should check out Blackish.
@royce!: children aren’t inherently “evil” but without being socialized/trained in certain ways they are sociopaths, since we all are, till we’re trained not to be.
Sup Girl
Sup F
Odor or Rua or smolinski…if you could only take one?
Rua
Actually Jake
@Grey: ok thanks would replace De Aza
Cool
@Jason: if this is the right Jason (of the at least 8 around here) we’re in one league together (how did you do in that one?), and we also have same questions, only about 4 days apart.
@grey who you like better for the weekend?
Pearce or Jake Marisnick
need some HR’s RBI and Runs
Pearce
Maybe replace Avisail with Snider?
I’ve had all schmatotoes in Sep. Works better than a star-studded lineup that ain’t hitting.
Yeah, go for it
Reading Rainbow reference. Love it!
Do I win an autographed moustache poster? ;)
Haha… Yes!
@Grey: Sweet, that puts me in the drawing for the “Have Grey and Rudy Draft with You at Your Fantasy Draft Sweepstakes”.
Next year is gonna be different, I tell you!
Haha… Is airfare included for us and can we just go to Vegas?
@Grey: We normally draft in San Diego, but I think we can change it to Vegas for one of the March Madness weekends if you guys are in. I’ll cover airfare, but you’re on your own for hotel, gambling expenses, hookers and coke.
Sure, you get the lightest expense! Did you come out for the San Diego tour stop?
@Grey: no, didn’t know about it. you coming again?
At some point, I’m sure… Not on my immediate docket
I’m going to win my 6×6 12-team league again this year. The only question (apart from “where do babies come from?”–I finally have a good lead!) is whether it’ll be by more or fewer than 20 points. I only lead in a few categories, and that barely, but I have 8+ points in every category.
Meanwhile the guy leading in SB is in 8th place overall but has 203 steals, 53 ahead of the next guy (in 6th place overall), who is in turn 35 SB ahead of the next guy (me!). These category dominators refused to trade their Dee Gordons and Altuvi throughout the season.
In the 1930s, France built hundreds of expensive forts to guard against an attack on the German border. The rest of the army got some American cheese (a great insult) and a 6-pack of leaky prophylactics, because there was no way they needed anything other than forts, right? But the Germans avoided the fortifications by invading through Belgium.
If you’re winning a category by having twice as much in that category as the guy with two points less, you are building a line of useless forts. You are also in a terrible extended metaphor. Finally, you are probably a Nazi.
Happy postseason!
Haha… I’d go with they’re building forts around Elba Island and protecting an exiled dictator…
I’m going for the championship in this league I’ve been in forever and right now it’s neck and neck. It’s 4-6 with two ties (its 6×6 h2h) and most of the categories are close enough that they can swing either way. I’m feeling okay about the offensive side; I should be able to take three, possibly four categories. On the pitching side, I’ve ditched ERA and WHIP (thanks in no small part to SON; shame on me for streaming but they were all high dollar starts and almost all of them got bombed) but I’m up 4-3 in wins, 43-37 in K, tied 3-3 in saves and down 3-6 in QS. If I get 4 more wins, 45 more K, 2 more saves and about 5 more QS I think I can win this thing. With the following group of mostly chumps, how likely is it that I get those stats by Sunday night:
Vance Worley
Hisashi Iwakuma
James Paxton
Carlos Carrasco
Rafael Montero
Derek Holland
Henderson Alvarez
Wade Davis
Jared Burton
Francisco Rodriguez
Neftali Feliz
Santiago Casilla
You seem like you should be close for QS, could come down to Iwakuma bouncing back
I know you’re Jetered out, but the game was unreal last night. My buddee who came with me is battling me for the championship AJ’s bomb in the ninth helped a lot, couldn’t of asked for a better ending, AJ HR and Jeter walk off. Headed to Fenway now!!
Wow, diehard, huh? Nice… Enjoy it!
FYI, Yankees are trotting out their D lineup tonight.
Also, in 6×6 (OPS), Mesoraco is out for the second straight day. Combined with other benchings, I have holes at C and Util tonight. I have 1 move left. Use it on the best available C (Norris: HT $8.2 for the last 3 games) in case Meso has an injury and continues to sit? Or use it on one of the above schmotatoes? Of those you listed who are in the lineup tonight, Reddick ($16.6) is strongly preferred by Tron for the weekend, but other names available are the Rangers, Inciarte, Marisnick, Coghlan and Sparkakis.
Or hold the move and see what my team needs tomorrow or Sunday?
I’d go Ender
@Steve Stevenson: FWIW – Pena always catches Cueto and Cueto is pitching Sunday… which means Mes will probably finish his season tomorrow (Saturday).
Nice The Boss trick…illusion!…allusion? Nice The Boss allusion. It’s The Boss right? JonBossJovi? I give up. I get all the Jersey ones confused!
Chris Christie
@Grey: Chairman of the Bored?
Carrot Top’s finest hour (he only performs at the Luxor in 5 minute increments)
@Grey: HA!
@Wake Up: LOL!
Ok I am down to my last two moves in my league.
Would like to grab one more pitcher and one more bat.
Who do you like best
Duffy @ CWS
Montero vs HOU
Haren vs COL
Granderson
Inciarte
Marisnick
Arcia
Vargas
Rua
Pollock
Odor
Thanks!
Montero…. Ender
@Grey:
I grabbed Montero. Streaming Niese today as well. Fingers tightly crossed that the Mets can manufacture a couple of runs
Im not loving Enciartes matchup against Y.Molina. If he isn’t stealing bases, his value isn’t as high. Who do you like second best for Sat/Sun
Marisnick
@Grey:
Cool. thanks again for the help all season.
No problem
Think my opponents Waino might sit Sunday?Down 1-2 in W’s(he’s got Kluber going now,then nobody except Waino.,debating using 1 or 2 of my 3 last moves to stream.
I’ve got Hutch and Tillman tonight,looks like a split.
I’ve got Stras and Cueto left.
@Hondo: I can’t win ERA or WHIP,5×5 league.
Waino won’t pitch on Sunday
@Grey:
Thanks.Carrasco vs COL or Haren vs CLE for the W tomorrow?SON has them close.
@Hondo: Sorry,I reversed the opponents,it’s Haren vs COL,Carrasco vs CLE
Carrasco
For pitching was, so very deep.
And Kluber’s great, but don’t dare keep.
To stream the men SON truly feels;
And not SP of first round heels.
The record shows drafting pitchers blows –
I did it on waivers!
Haha… Nice!
with the dickerson news at least we find out why he’s been out of lineup 2 out of last 3 games. and after soler’s been looking post birth of that human he made, along with very commonly known incubation period of humans often being 9 months, i have come up with a helpful schedule for MLB players to both have their offspring(s) (since they seem so damn intent on doing that so often), while also not missing games. this seems important since it is quite clear it’s not good for anybody’s mental state that A. they can’t have sex with mother of child for months directly after, and B. babies are known to cry a lot and keep up parents, resulting in little rest for new fathers. So we’re left with pent up (if monogamous to mother of offspring (that’s a whole different problem)), tired players.
Schedule is (tentative):
all impregnating of humans (at least the ones you plan on admitting to and being responsible for) should be held in the months of January-June, so all offspring would be had in non-regular season months.
I’m here to solve problems ya’ll.
@Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: only 9,632 words to go!
Ha
hells yeah, free save just from leaving stroman in (it was on purpose, knew he’d get some RP action. didn’t expect save though). nice. good job TOR managment!
Nice
So my opponent just lucked into another Zimmermann start, making it so that he has 3 more starts (Cole, Wainwright and Zimmermann) to my 2 (Lobstein and Gray). You think I’m right to assume that many if not all of his starters will exit early on Sunday? The same may apply to my pitchers, I know, or at least to Gray, but I’m enough ahead on K and tied on wins so I just really don’t want him getting a lot of wins.
I don’t see any of his SPs starting or going more than 2-3 IP… Gray might not for you, see no reason why Lobstein won’t pitch…
Montero or Burnett tomorrow vs. Hou, Atl respectively, both at home
Montero
@Grey: Thanks so much for the input and since it appears to be wee wee rubbing time here, I’ll say it’s a fun place to be each morning and it’s helped give me an edge with the Yahoo’s of the world. I win $$$ on that forum and this year with wire to wire 1st place showings I’m up 500 smackers and I can use it since I’m on Social Security. I enjoy the sophomoric humor too. You’re not a bad writer, pretty clever, try some short stories or something serious, you have ability.
Thanks for the kind words! Congrats on the win!
drop jose ramirez for segura or hold?
Go for it
Oh me so Rusney oh oh me so Rusney oh me so Rusney me love you long time.
Haha
Gareth the pussy cat just posted this in our league:
“(Kid A), it’s pretty clear you’ve won the the league. congrats. you’ve been played the game well. however when you’ve exceeded your starters limit but go ahead anyway and pick up starter gerrit cole to spite other players who have not exceeded their limits. that’s not tactics. that’s just being a ass.”
Sharing is caring.
@Kid A: now go pickup 9 SP, not just cole. it is smart tactics. that’s one of the points of infinite pickups leagues.
@Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season: it is dumb that anyone could do that and drop those pitchers, without any days spent on your team. you should have to use a roster spot to block. i know in some leagues the site has it set that if a guy gets picked up, then dropped before any games he doesn’t have to go through waiver time, which is fair. I wouldn’t like it much if you could pickup every available SP and drop them the day before, so that nobody could grab any pitcher that pitches the next day.
@Kid A: God I respect you even more. Blocking is beautiful
@J-FOH: I’ll pay you one in return – and you know how much I hate doing this – The way you brought your team back from the edge of collapse to almost winning the belt, is one of the most impressive things I’ve ever seen anyone do in this silly little game. So deft. Respect.
Having said that, I’m going to wipe the goddamn floor with you next year, you bastard.
And go fuck yourself.
@Kid A: thank you. Im putting this one in my memory journal. Good luck next year. I look forward to it
Ha… Rudy did the same to me, I should sic Gareth on him…
If there are no rules against it, it’s legal; such complaints can be filed at the DMV. They care just as much about providing quality customer care as complaints such as that.
@Sky: if you get a notice from the DMV I apologize. I made it in haste. And my phone auto corrected DMV to DUMB. ..twice
They only gave me a notice that my McLovin license had expired and that I should renew
@Sky: ha
@Kid A: my post actually ended with – that’s just being “A DIK.” which is Kid A backwards. Not “a ass.”
Espn had blocked out those last three letters after I had sent it. Oh the Profanity!
I’m actually mad at myself. I’m streaming 6 starters on Sunday and totally assumed Cole was owned. Then I saw that kid a had picked him up.
Ah well. 2nd place and in the high 90’s with my points is a pretty satisfactory result for my first rcl.
@gareth:
And then you follow up with this gem:
“I don’t even know why I got so worked up. It’s not like its for money. But honestly, the way you’ve gone about things has irritated me at times this year. the incessant closer speculating for example. Taunting me about granderson sucking then grabbing him immediately after I drop him is another example. Sure, its the name of the game. I understand that. But you ultimately come off as immature and it gets pretty tiresome after a while. If I do the rcl again next year I think I’d rather it be in a league you are not in.”
Watching you get all lathery kind of makes me sad. Kind of.
Looking into my rotation for next year in a dynasty league (keep them all).
The core of my rotation is:Lester, Zimmermann, Samarzdja, hughes
The almost for sures are: Liriano, Tiajan Walker and the adverb
the current last slots are: Rapheal Montero, Tim Hudson and Vance Worley.
Would you swap any of them out for the following (this is the cream of the crop for FA SP):
Carlos Martinez
Wie-Yen Chen
Bud Norris
chris young (sea)
Roenis Elias
dillon Gee
Brandon McCarthy
Nathan Eovaldi
Brandon Beachy (depends on when he is expected to return)
Martinez over Hudson…Eovaldi over Worley
storen or benoit, who’s more likely to close at start of next year?
@goodfold2: Storen will close next year for sure.
And-thanks for all the this seasons advice Grey.
Tomorrow will be an interesting day.I’ve gotta go fix my Dad’s wheelchair in the morning since the maintenance assholes still haven’t gotten it right,and hope I don’t lose both leagues by an RBI or something if I don’t get back in time to check for moves.
Duct tape for both is my best hope.LOL.
Thanks dude.
Ha, good luck (on both accounts)!
Storen
How appropriate – with Schafer down and looking for sb’s, your final lead buy is Inciarte. You make this too easy.
Regardless of how this weekend ends, I’m happily playing for championships in both my 12 and 20 team leagues. I’ve only been playing this silly game since 2010 – the same year I fortunately stumbled upon Razzball. Always a baseball fan, my knowledge was limited – I could tell you the Red’s starting lineup, but probably more accurate with the 1976 version than the 2010 edition. To borrow a quote from my hometown running back Trent Richardson, “They had to try and learn me.” You have learned me well.
My first year in the 20 team league, I led from start to finish and won the championship – only skills needed were knowing how to read and copy & paste from your web site. I’ve always made the playoffs and never finished below 3rd in either league.
So, a big thank you to Grey, all of the other Razzball writers and all of the Razzball readers who always have such great questions and comments. And Rudy, thank you for that voodoo that you do. Razzball’s smart and humorous writing has made me a better fantasy player, but more importantly a bigger fan of baseball. Hellz yeah!
Thanks for the kind words! I saw Pete Rose recently in Vegas, he looked sad and old, more so than I would’ve thought…
Down to the wire. Pitching is tight in head to head championship. I have one more add left and my opponent has none. I’m down 4 Ks and 2 Ws. I have the following going:
Saturday – Happ, Carrasco, Chen
Sunday – Hamels
Opponent:
Saturday – nothing
Sunday – Cobb, Fiers, Gray, Pineda
Who should I add for the best chance at taking Ks? Ratios aren’t a priority because he’s probably got those locked up.
Today: Lobstein, Montero, Harang
Or tomorrow’s starters: Salazar or Rasmus
Salazar
I need a 2nd opinion, I already havean idea who I should drop, but I’m feeling a little old school today. I have a 6 save led and the next guy below me only has 3 closers. The best he can hope for is a tie with me. I have Casilla, Feliz, Rondon, Mejia, and Robertson. Who would you drop of those five to add a bat for the benched bruce?
Rondon… You could prolly drop all of them, 6 saves would be insane in 2 days
@Grey: I missed cut off time. now i’m blocking for tomorrow
Gotcha, sorry, if it was my fault… Talking vagina cookies in Dan’s post…
@Grey: Oh, the old “talking vagina cookies” excuse…nice try, Grey
HA!
@royce!: I miss you Royce!
@J-FOH: Are you sure you don’t have me confused with SteveNZ?
@Grey: not your fault. I showered too long. Im holding bruce for tomorrow when he will do the double dong. Bold prediction!
If he does a fifteen dong day, his season won’t look that bad
@Grey: 15? I can live with 8, anything less and he’s dead to me…until i draft him in the 5th next year when he falls
Ha, yup… I look forward to begrudgingly drafting him in the 5th as well
@Grey: and then he equaling his 2014 home run total by june 6th
That’s if I don’t own him…
@Grey: and he’s on Rudy’s team.
Everyone good’s on Rudy’s team… Ugh!
@Grey: He might be running the cool kids crew but you’re All That!
Thanks, cuz… He got me this year but I got him last…
Welp likely gonna come in 3rd or 4th in my company H2H this year and get in the money, but hurts to give up my title…
One Thing I learned(mainly from Grey):
Good pitching is generally available on the wire. Pitchers I got off the wire this year include:
Keuchel
McHugh
Peralta
Eovaldi…he was good for awhile anyway
Kazmir
Carrasco
Fiers
Shoemaker
Hughes
Liriano
Hammel..until he got traded.
And I just missed on Arrieta, Roark few others. Thats a good pitching staff.
Team MVP: Miggy. Down year for him, but seeing what others were trotting out there at 3B(LOL Zimmerman and Wright) I think the price was worth it.
Team LVP: Josh Hamilton. I held on to this guy almost all year based on his power potential and batting cleanup in a stacked lineup. I could’ve should’ve just dropped him for Soler who will be an awesome keeper….
Waiver wire MVPs:
Hitter: Corey Dickerson/Chris Carter …Very interested where you will rank them next year.
Pitcher: Phil Hughes
Good trade I made:
Rcvd Jose Bautits and Gee for Hose Fernandez and Jon Lester in early April…I came across an obscure article that showed with GIFs of how Jose F had changed his mechanics for the worst during the offseason and was likely to need TJS. I didn’t think Lester would pitch as good as he ended up but still I won that trade.
Bad trade
Traded Klubes and Gee in early May after about 3 or 4 meh starts where velocity was down for Billy Butler who most of the ‘perts said would turn it around after a bad April…I just watched Klubes hurl 28K’s against me in 2 starts last week as I lost my H2H semifinals..
Will be ready to go get em’ next year. Always a fun read. Thanks.
Thanks! Klubes one hurts for sure, but the other trade was real nice… Always good to trade away starters in H2H…
Damn yahoo’s not updating stats. I want my Mesoraco RBIs!
Where do the standings, uh, stand?
@Grey: I’m up 7-6. Have to win by at least 1 bc he would win the tiebreaker.
I’m up in:
R by 1,
HR by 2,
RBI by 4,
XBH by 7,
SV by 1,
holds by 1,
K by 29.
He’s leading in:
AVG by .028,
OBP by .011,
SB by 6,
ERA by 1.97 (his ERA is .95!),
WHIP by .26 (WHIP is .74!),
and K/BB by 1.82.
So WHIP, ERA, K/BB and steals are very likely his, and only Ks are very likely mine. We’re tied in wins; I have 2 more starts and he has 3, but, as I pointed out above, his starters will probably be pulled early, reducing any chance of a win.
Damn, crazy close… Holy crap on his ratios, that’s insane… Seems like you’re actually getting lucky to be beating him…
@Grey: Well, his pitching has been tremendous, but outside of Cashner’s shizz show, mine has been as well…R just tied up, so we’re back to 6-6. McCutchen is basically carrying his offense; without him, I’d be totally set. 7 R, 2 HR, 8 RBI, 1 SB, .421 AVG, .556 OBP, and 4 XBH. I had him last year and got eliminated in the first round. Good ol’ h2h!
Is this your brother-in-law you’re facing?
@Grey: Ha, no…he was eliminated early. The guy I’m facing is a NY financial analyst that is a lot more on top of his shizz than my brother-in-law. He just took the lead in R so I’m now losing 6-7.
Dah!
@Grey: Lobstein just made this a lot more difficult…
Yeah, that was a mess… What’s the tally on the scores?
@royce!: XBH are also pretty likely yours.
@Grey: And it’s been almost an hour and the stats have not updated.
@royce!: it’s not just you.
@goodfold2: usually this shizz only takes like under 2 hours though.
Leave it to Yahoo
@Grey: yahoo is the frank stallone of the fantasy world.
Ha, yup
and that was about the start i’d figure for a guy with an elbow in that condition, maybe more homers though. somehow didn’t have it last time out.
Yeah, that was ugly…
@Grey: i don’t mean liriano’s 4 walks so far either.
I know, Yanks trying to save $4500 on Tommy John surgery…
@Grey: but they’ll have no problem throwing 500 million to albatross contracts to scherzer/lester in offseason. is there really a way to run a team worse than what NYY are doing with tanaka?
Yeah, baffling
Yahoo’s back up,the effers.
Thanks
@Grey: De nada,Y tu tambien para este ano.
(I had some work done on my Dad’s handicapped bathroom today,just had to get the final habla-ing out of my system.LOL.)
Gracias amigo!
That hot carrasco sauce is tasting good tonight
Yumyum
Grab lobstein for a one start advantage over opp? Or grab Cain sugar. Hitting close pitching too.
I have montero holland and wood going and maybe zimmerman or Roark.
He has Burnett collm enter and house
He leads I. Runs by three RBI by 5 SB by 1 I have hr by 1 avg by a good amount and total bases by 10.
Pitching I have wins by one he has saves by one he has ks probably won. He has both ratios. I have QS.
@Jay: shoot, missed lobstein didn’t realize what time it was.
What about Miley at STL?
If you need it… Don’t know your options…
@Grey:
Miley is best avail SP tonight OR TOMORROW.
Or I can go after offensive cats and grab either Cain or reddick based off HT
Just not sure which way to go. Would re
@Jay: Geeat just list wood so it’s looks like Miley out of necessity now.
Reddick or Cain have much higher values. I just came down from the paint thinner. **looks at ticket** oh, it was round trip.
Yup
I’d go Miley
@Grey:man I just got f’d by yahoo. Picked up Miley but wasn’t able to get him in because yahoo sucks.
Is Derek holland a Christian scientist? Take some exception and get your ass on the mound I gotta championship to win.
Ha
Sure
Hi Grey, learned Alex Wood won’t make start tomorrow. Who will replace him in your opinion? Thanks.
Probably bullpen guys
6 innings, 10ks so far..mmmmm it’s the spice green carrasco sause…Fire Tail for everyone!
@jef with 1 f: *Spicy
Haha… Hot peppers, vinegar and Ks…
damn Alex Wood now Holland..both scratched from their starts. Plouffe goes down earlier in the week. I might run out of players by tomorrow
Damn
@Grey:
Maybe it’s a good thing. I’m in first by 9.5 points and a blowup of either pitcher could have dropped me.
Oh, yeah, not worth it
Moving the thread down. I’m still behind 6-7. Only category that has changed hands is R, and opp is up by 1. Thanks to Lobstein, assuming that all of Zimmermann, Wainwright and Cole don’t get destroyed tomorrow, he will win ERA, WHIP and K/BB handily. I just hope than none of them get a win.
@royce!: Opp has Cuddyer, so I really need Haren to strand him…
@royce!: Ugh. Why the hell would I think that Dan Haren would ever help me?
Ha, dah
@royce!: this is fabulous. Now they pulled Miggy and JD Martinez, so there’s no chance I’ll get a R out of either.
Ugh
Yeah I doubt they get a win let alone go deep enough for it
WET TAIL WALK OFF!!
Wow, wet tail!
The main cat I had to catch up with in one league was RBI’s.
Duda might’ve saved my(dry) ass.
Also,not to ramble but I don’t like or dislike the Dodgers particularly,but I watch a lot of the home games because of Vin Scully.I’d listen to Vin do the weather or the news. I’d be willing to witness Duda take a dump if Vin Scully did the up to date info and included pertinent info about Duda’s Grandpa’s bowel movements during a snow storm that came in from the East,dumped(haha) 11.1568 inches of snow.
A cow froze next door and the sky was a smoke colored hue.24 telephone poles had to be replaced as a result.
17 painted Barns where destroyed,while only 12 unpainted barns suffered the same fate.
The dead cow was taken to an orphanage,where a young Nun named Sister Alyssa used it to feed 36 orphans.
There have only been 3 storms in that area in the last 123 years that where within 10% of the total one day snow accumulation.
In the neighboring state,they average an annual of snowfall of perhaps 2 inches less,depending on the rain from the previous spring,which increases the moisture content that is retained int the ground.On sunny wintry days some say this releases into the sky where it becomes snow,depending on the wind direction.
OK,that didn’t really mean anything.You just wasted 27.647 seconds.
Haha… Nice Scully inspired story
Looks like I’m going to win one and lose one…I’ll take it…Carrasco a big reason why I’m going to win one..who’d a think it?
Yeah, this time of year is weird if you have to rely on pitchers…
Grey, my final add question of the year.
Need a pitcher that can get me Ks and a win, both equally important.
Tropeano vs. NYM
Christ Heston (from SF) vs. SD. …..From Yahoo: “The 26-year-old right-hander posted a 3.38 ERA, 1.17 WHIP and 125/51 K/BB ratio over 173 innings at Triple-A Fresno this season.” Has a 6+ K/9, 4.50 FIP in minors this year.
Tropeano
I’m apologizing early…my fact of the day tomorrow might be a little hard to understand and not make any sense at all. I plan on still being drunk in the A.M. from all of the champagne I’ll be drinking tonight.
Make sure you find me in the clubhouse and spray with your fizz…
Still losing 6-7. Opp increased his R lead to 4. Besides R, only categories that seem within reach is W (currently tied), but I can’t tie so I have to take R. Moreover, I’m only leading SV and holds by 1. To complicate things, my last starter is Gray, but as an M’s fan, I don’t want the A’s to win. Today is already stressing me out.
On the other hand, the most recent episode of the League was possibly their best yet.
@royce!: Edit: *category. Wish it was plural.
@royce!: I wish you luck
@jef with 1 f: Thanks, Mr. with 1 f! And congrats to you. Hope the champagne treated/is treating you well!
Ugh, now it’s stressing me out! C’mon, Mariners, take it to 163! I’ve never seen The League…
@Grey: I think you told me that before…I still recommend it.
Gotta be better than Lobstein
@Grey: Indeed. My other options for the week were CJ Wilson or Tropeano, neither of whom would have helped much, so no harm, no foul.
The most recent League episode focuses almost entirely on two of the side characters, Dirty Randy (Seth Rogan) and Raffi (Jason Mantzoukas), so it’s not representative of the show as a whole…I’d recommend watching the episode alone, but fear that the prior episodes are vital to really appreciating it.
Is that episode on Netflix streaming?
@Grey: Nah, but I think you can watch it on the FX website.
Ah, gotcha… Okay, will look for it… You finish Silicon Valley?
@Grey: Nope, only through the first four episodes. I have heard something about the finale being amazing…hard to recall exactly, as I was playing poker while it was discussed…something about an amazing throwback joke or a joke that took the whole episode to set up…so I am definitely excited to make it to the end.
Whole season is really great, you see the mural yet?
@royce!: Nope. So much to look forward to!
@Grey: you don’t need to know much about fantasy football to like it.
I don’t?
In reference to the newest term that entered the glossary, i’d like to note that toe knee arm ass and myself had come up with chicken sit on june 21 in the jean a sais buy article when i stated i was sitting tanaka, lester, scherzer, teheran, ventura, ryu and keuchel in my h2h matchup to preserve ratios. I asked if we should make a term for sitting all your studs and chicken sit was born, yet you had nary a comment on it at the time. Full credit to this GG character is a bit of a stretch. Cust sayin…
Could you give me the link? I’ll add your names in….
@Grey: ah i mean its in the one called jean a sais buy from jun 21st i dont know how to send the link right to the spot i wrote it. Its no biggie man i dont care who’s credited for it
Thanks, royce! I’ll make the change when I get home… I didn’t comment again on it back there, so I hadn’t seen it, presumably…
Maybe that’s thanks royce!!
Every pitching category counts today, but the biggest emphasis is Wins. Who are you benching out of this group? Im not sure if you’ve seen the starting lineups but the Orioles aren’t benching anyone, and Gray got lit up against the rangers two weeks ago…
[email protected]
Colon vs Hou
Dickey vs Bal
Thanks G
I wouldn’t bench anyone…Gray if I had to… Starting everyone doesn’t mean they will play the whole game…
@Grey: Haha I mean I would fire everyone if I had the option to, but I also have King Felix, David Price, Alex Cobb, and Mike Fiers going, so I can only start two out of those three…Need some serious wins!
Then I’d bench Gray
@Grey: Thanks G
Not a great start- hard to make up a 4 R deficit when you’re 0 for 7.
Still early!
@Grey: Kinsler HR! Now down by 3 R.
Yes!
@Grey: And now Rizzo! Down by 2!
Nice!
@Grey: Opp has a K/BB of 10.25 for the week. Ridiculous.
That’s insane!
I’m pretty screwed if Zimmermann wins- will have to get a win from Gray, which in turn will mean that the real team I root for in the AL (SEA) will be eliminated…Maybe my fantasy football team will start winning. No time like the present!
Can’t believe Zimmermann went that deep, guess a no-hitter would do that…
@Grey: Just another reason to hate the Marlins…
Marlins cause extreme indifference in most, no?
@Grey: Yeah, I suppose their owner is the one who is hated…but now we have this. Everyone should hate them because they just got no hit and probably cost me my h2h league.
Loria prolly had a hand in that… Asked the city of Miami to pay for no hitter…
@Grey: “It’ll be great for the community!”
Haha
@Grey: I’ve mentioned several times that he can be a strikeout guy any game he wants.I’ve drafted him everywhere the last 3 years.
Probably won’t go as high with a pick as I’d need to get him next year,the secrets out.
Yeah he’s been pretty remarkably consistent
@Grey: was able to trade wright for j.zimm in 16 team espn league that i won last week and have 8 keepers, he’s only pitcher keeper. damn shame i won last week as i would’ve loved to have won today on the strength of that start.
Yeah, that would’ve been nice
So it’s down to this- I need to score 3 more runs than my opponent and have Gray earn a win.
@royce!: Flores R just made it 2.
Nice!
@royce!: I’m locked in for you…I have nothing else to root for
@J-FOH: Thanks, buddy! I also need Jansen to not record a save, but the Dodgers are not playing for anything right now.
@royce!: digging through my voodoo dolls….got it.
@J-FOH: Nice! Got one for Cuddyer, Solarte, and/or Pollock? Cuz none of them can score a R.
@royce!: the legs fell of the Cuddyear one on it’s own… go figure. The Pollock keeps dressing itself in Barbie clothes
@J-FOH: Hahahaha awesome!
@J-FOH: Actually, looks like Solarte isn’t starting! So save the needles for the others…
Rizzo and Soler runs just put me ahead in runs!
Sweet!
@Grey: And Yahoo just scared the shizz out of me, showing we are now tied in runs, but Yahoo also has the Cubs winning 3-2, where the real score is 4-2, and that missing run is Soler’s.
First, Zimmermann, now Yahoo is messing with you… Eff, doode, who’d you piss off?
@Grey: Must be no one because I’m winning 7-6 now. Just need no runs from Pollock, Solarte and Cuddyer, and no save for Jansen.
Sonny came up huge…
@Grey: No shizz. It’s a shame for the Mariners, but there’s always 2015! Seriously, I think they could be very good in 2015, as they didn’t make any asinine deadline trades.
Ha, yeah, I thought that for 2014… Came up just a bit short… Just need effin’ Taijuan to do something
@Grey: they would need to actually start him over such luminaries as chris (not P) young for that to happen.
Ha
So lucky that Jansen wasn’t in a save opportunity… Whew
Get ready to start the offseason tomorrow. Have a few things on my agenda
1) re-watch season one of Silicon Valley in one day…maybe two
2) see more boobs
3) get some sunlight
4) read a book
#2 sounds like fun…
@Grey: it always easy, it’s next to breathing on my life list
You know you could take a nudie magazine out to a nude beach and kill a few of those with one full swoop
@Grey: or got to what do you think of my selfie . com and look at all the “pics”…while at the beach
Ha
@Grey: Get some classy nudie book and he’d have three down!
Yeah, take an iPad with HBO GO on it and he can knock em all off… I should be JFOH social director…
@Grey: If Ted is my new life coach and you’re my social director, then what will we have cougs do to improve myself?
You wanna go to spin classes with her?
@Grey: is that the bike riding one?
Yeah, she can sit on the handlebars and scream at you to get going…
@J-FOH: *drops keyboard*
@Grey: so what you’re saying is she’s good at sitting in front of you while you’re exerting yourself and yelling at you to put in more effort?
HAHAHA… Yup!
@Grey: *drops keyboard*
I’m spraying you with my fizz…IT FEELS SO GOOD!!!
Awesome! Congrats, F!
@Grey: thanks boo..all of your work was a major help
No problem, F
What’s the setting in the RCL for a tie-breaker? Noticed that a few leagues were heading that way.
Paper, rock, scissors? They’re co-champs…
@Grey: Ha ha
I won. Thanks for all the help along the way.
@Royce!: Nice!!Grey is soaking wet tonight
@jef with 1 f: Thanks! And weird!
Yeah, of course, nicely done! Only took us 5 years to get you the win…
Seven, actually! I keep going back to double check the score, like when I took the bar…
Haha… I know that feeling…
Hey Grey,
Didn’t post much this year, but I was around all season reading the articles and comments. Ended up winning both of my leagues. Willin Rosario’s homer was the last AB for the season in one of the league’s and it gave me the win in RBIs and tied it up in HRs, giving me a 5-4 win. Lost my 1st round picks in both leagues (prince and goldy) so that makes it even more satisfying to have pulled off championships in both. Thanks again for all of your assistance. See ya in the spring.
Very nice, congrats!
Back to back baby! Thanks again Grey for dealing with us fantasy crackheads. Our league charges $5 for every waiver move and I racked up $300 in fees haha. I felt like the Yankees of old buying a championship. After fees I still walked away with a grand. Can’t you do write ups for football??? I’m going to miss my morning routine of laughing into my coffee cup. See you next year
Ha, no problem… Congrats!