You know that slo-mo video of Homer Simpson taking a cannonball off his belly?  This looked more painful. When Carlos Santana, the future of the Indians franchise, went down in this collision, his knee said, “I wish I were Joe Theismann’s knee.”  To stay in the world of The Simpsons, you can see the exact moment when Cleveland’s heart breaks.  Carlos Santana’s collision was like The Decision, Part II.  Only more ghoulish.  I’d be shocked if Santana’s back this year.  Hopefully, he’ll be fine for next year.  On the bright side, Cleveland, you’re still not Detroit.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Shelley Duncan – 4-for-5, 1 Run, 2 RBIs.  Surprised there weren’t any other injuries reported from Shelley Duncan high fives.  He’s always so intense.  Here’s him taking questions after the game.

Adrian Beltre – 2-for-3, 2 homers and 5 RBIs.  Ever wonder how Stonehenge was built?  Beltre did it in a contract year.

Kevin Youkilis – Day-to-day with a jammed thumb.  My grandmother used to make a delicious thumb jam.  I miss you, Minky!

John Lackey – 5 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 14 baserunners, 7 Ks.  I dropped him about two starts ago.  He then went out and threw a shutout, then a quality start.  That gave someone confidence to pick him in my league and start him vs. the Indians.  Muahahahahahaha…

Trevor Cahill – 9 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks.  His K:BB 73:41 in 125 2/3 IP isn’t good.  His xFIP is almost a run and a half worse than his ERA.  Yet, his 0.99 WHIP and 2.72 ERA make me wish he were beguiling me while I owned him.

Jeremy Hellickson – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  I don’t know what the line looks like to you, but I watched 95% of this start.  Looked dominating through three and worked around a cheap walk and hit in the fourth, remaining composed.  With ease, he was hitting 92 and 93 with his fastball and controlling his off-speed pitches well.  He was also sent down right after the game.  If you’re out of it in keepers, I’d grab him right now and hold on.

B.J. Upton – 3-for-4 with 3 steals.  Well, if it ain’t the Bossman clocking in four months late.

Matt Joyce – 2-for-4 with 3 homers in the last week.  He’s not going to win any batting titles, but he does have pop and he’s playing every day.

Dan Wheeler – Got the save since Rafael Soriano had worked three days in a row.  Gives you a hint of where Qualls is in the pecking order.  See, the guy in the Buddy Holly glasses isn’t as dopey as he looks.

Carlos Pena – Was walking on crutches today.  No, it’s not a new dance craze, he has a sore foot.

Justin Morneau – Tried to hit in the cages but couldn’t do it.  It’s being speculated that he’s weeks away.  Just-Morn, indeed.

Matt Kemp – 5-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 18th homer.  Kemp collected more hits yesterday than he had collectively in the last 8 days.  He hasn’t had a crazy hot streak all year.  Now would work for me.  Get to it!

Travis Wood -7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks.  You didn’t need to be Ms. Cleo to know this was going to be a nice start for him vs. the Pirates.  I’d definitely own him going forward, just be ready to jump ship.

Orlando Cabrera – Left the game with a strained oblique and is headed to the DL.  Can’t wait until fifty years from now a player has a groundbreaking surgery to fix obliques and then it’s named after him.  Say the Ken Griffey Jr. Jr. Jr. Surgery.

Joey Votto – Sat out yesterday with a sore wrist.  Get well soon, Joey!

Joel Hanrahan – Entered a losing game in the 8th.  Take whatever you want from that.   Still think him and Meek are both vying.  Vie, baby, vie!

Rick Ankiel – 2-for-4 as he started vs. a lefty.  Cox may be playing Ankiel more than Melky because he’s a better fielder.  Doesn’t make Ankiel mixed league material yet, but it’s worth monitoring.

Randy Wells – 4 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks.  I don’t believe he even wanted to pitch well for the last month.  He just wanted to build confidence up in me so he could do this to me.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, and why do you keep fooling me?  Are you mad at me or something?  It’s not cool.

Ryan Braun – 5-for-7, 3 Runs, 2 RBIs.  Prince Fielder; 5-for-7, 2 Runs, 5 RBIs.  McGehee; 2-for-5 with a homer.  Hart; 4-for-7.  Alcides; 3-for-5. Edmonds; 2-for-3… Even Counsell went 2-for-2.  Honestly, I’m not even sure how this game is over.  There doesn’t seem like there were enough outs made.  Did the Cubs forfeit?

Jake Westbrook – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Yes, this looks like a positive sign moving forward, but it was against the Astros.  I’d still be cautious outside of NL-Only leagues.

Sean Burnett – 1 2/3 IP and his first save.  Somehow Sean is the Burnett you want to own.  Go figure.  Or don’t.  Your choice.  Storen pitched 2 innings on Sunday and Burnett entered to face lefties originally.  He’s worth owning if you’re hurting for saves, but Burnett will be mostly a situational closer.

Chase Headley – 4-for-5, 3 Runs, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer.  Nicest thing Headley ever did was have this game on a short schedule day so I didn’t have him on my bench.

Yorvit Torrealba – 3-for-5 and batting near .600 over the last ten games.  I doubt it lasts forever, but if you just lost Santana, Yorvit’s hot.

Andrew Bailey – Won’t return when he’s eligible on Friday, but could return soon after.   If you think the only German words that have a place in baseball are bratwurst, sauerkraut, and lager, I hear ya, but I’d own Wuertz while Bailey mends.

Ryan Howard – Headed to Philly to be examined by doctors.  That’s a good sign in opposite world.  While in opposite world, you can pick up Lyle Overbay to be your first baseman.  He’s awesome!  Hopefully the doctors just need to prescribe some rest and cheese steak soup for Howard.

A.J. Burnett – 4 2/3 IP, 8 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks.  This might be news like, “and water is wet,” but Burnett’s unownable.

Nick Swisher – 2-for-5 and 2 homers.  He makes me almost want to add sideburns to my facial hair accoutrements.

  1. Alex says:

    Out of curiosity who is your favorite MLB team? Also should i bench Posey for Suzuki for now Posey has cooled down…….

  2. Doug Ault says:

    Will Carlos have to cancel his fall tour?
    Lucky I have McCann on the same team

  3. Ryan says:

    Which of these trades should i make in my 20 team h2h dynasty league?

    trade #1 I trade evan longoria jon lester and j.p. arencibia for carl crawford joe mauer and cc sabathia

    trade #2 i trade evan longoria and homer bailey for josh hamilton jered weaver and ryan webb

    20 Team h2h Dynasty League

    c russel martin
    1b miguel cabrera
    2b neil walker
    3b evan longoria
    ss ryan theriot
    if chase headley
    lf jose tabata
    cf colby rasmus
    rf justin upton
    of ryan ludwick
    util lastings milledge
    bn edwin encarnacion
    bn j.p arencibia
    bn matt joyce

    sp jon lester
    sp colby lewis
    sp chris carpenter
    sp clayton kershaw
    rp rafael soriano
    rp jose contreras
    rp jason motte
    p scott downs
    p jason hammel
    p hisanori takhashi
    bn michael wuertz
    dl aaron harang
    dl homer bailey

  4. Earl Battey says:

    I’m still trying to turn one of my 6 closers into someone I actually want to have for the stretch run. One owner really wants RSoriano, and I made some offers that would make my team better. He countered with this one: my Soriano, Greinke, and Abreu for his Lester and Nelson Cruz. I would probably use the extra roster spot to pick up Wandy. In effect, I would be getting slight upgrades in the OF (if Cruz stays healthy) and SP (Greinke for Lester) while Soriano for Wandy.

    Good enough, or should I keep looking?

  5. Earl Battey says:

    EDIT: while swapping Soriano for Wandy.

    By the way, it’s a 5×5 Roto non-keeper league.

  6. kujo says:

    Some add on to what german is Wuertz in baseball: Zimmermann is translated Carpenter. Can see why that wouldn’t work for him. Ryan Feierabend actually reads ‘end of the work day’ or ‘closing time’. Sporting a 7.22 ERA isnt really living up to that name though.

  7. @grey Looks like the gamble with Burnett paid off with his first save. Of course I didn’t have him active. Instead I had to watch Lindstrom’s save opp disappear into thin air as Houston pounded the StL bullpen in the 9th.

    If you needed HR/RBI the rest of the way in NL-Only, would you go for Wallace or Ankiel?

  8. Giant JJ says:

    Have you seen Posey play? Hall of Famer… I believe it already.
    My berkman and moylan, his Burnett, gordon and ishikawa. 20 mixed

  9. Jeff says:

    Better keeper – Posey or McCutchen? We only keep 3 players from one year to the next. Both would cost an 18th round pick next year (15th year after, etc).

  10. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Jeff: i’d keep dread pirate simply because the risk of keeping a C is so much higher. plus dread pirate is a legit 20-40 threat with a .300 avg.

    @Earl Battey: i’d do that. i’d say lester and cruz are pretty significant upgrades over grienke and abreu. lester gives you more Ks and W opportunities, and is a strong 2nd half SP. cruz has possibly been the best per game OF in fantasy this year. plus you don’t have much leverage with 6 closers. you can’t argue about how valuable soriano is for your team when you have 5 guys to replace him with. and being roto, i assume you have a hefty lead in saves with 6 closers, time to start improving other spots.

  11. ThePoonTycoon says:

    after i saw supernatural’s knee get blown up, i posted something on my league chat room about how it must really suck to be a cleveland sports fan (the browns, the decision/lebacle, c lee and cc getting shipped out and immediately pitching in world series, grady sizemore going from future 40-40 guy to injured and irrelevant by 27, and now supernatural having his knee busted blocking the plate in a meaningless season for the indians). and that’s just the past year.

    really though, people deciding whether to keeping posey and dread pirate or some other young future star having a nice season, go watch santana’s replay over and over and remember how much more injury prone Cs are than other position players. go look at how many short DL stints mauer’s been through already.

  12. Dan Z says:

    @ Grey

    I am a santana owner with no backup catcher, currently have a 30+ hold lead in my league, is trading Mike Adams for Kuo and Napoli worth it?

  13. ThePoonTycoon says:

    also, freaking awesome to have a brewer centric lineup in h2h this week…braun + prince + mcgehee + weeks

    even weeks and his 1-6 was productive enough for 3 RBIs and 2 Rs.

    normally don’t want this many guys off 1 team, but not many 3B options and couldn’t turn down a steal of a trade for prince, and weeks as a low drafted 2B is looking outstanding.

  14. Ross says:

    @Grey – on carlos pena – was that by any chance a saved by the bell reference – the one with the dance at the max – or am I way off?

  15. ThePoonTycoon says:

    12 team, 20 cat roto league

    i’m way out front in power and traded votto for c lee and kung fu panda a few weeks back.

    now, do i go with kung fu panda or ike davis as my regular 1B?

    and do i drop the non-regular 1B for travis snider?

  16. Jon says:

    I think what makes the Santana collision look so bad is the way his shoe bends funny upon impact. The good news may be that his foot was not still in his shoe. The shoe came off on impact so I am hoping he is not too hurt.

    Luckily an owner in my league just dropped Montero last week. Am I missing something about Montero?

  17. @Ross: Please, please tell me it’s a Saved by the Bell reference. That was my first thought too.

  18. Ben says:

    Who would you rather have going forward in a H2H league… Dempster, T-Wood, or Cahill?

  19. Mr. Rickey says:

    Deep NL only – Gload or Isikawa

  20. Philomath says:

    Which two SPs would you rather have long term (keeper league): C. Bucholz, P.Hughes or M.Cain? Thanks in advance!

  21. Wah says:

    Please rank these 3 for the rest of the season:


  22. Turd Ferguson says:

    @Ryan: I wouldn’t make either of those deals. Longoria’s nails in a dynasty, and I’m not that high on Headley as his replacement at 3B.

  23. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Ryan: i wouldn’t do either deal.

    i can’t imagine someone in a 20 team league has a better dynasty outlook than a core 6 of cabrera, longoria, j-up, rasmus, lester, and kershaw. it would take a whopper of a deal for me to move any of those 6 over the next couple seasons.

  24. Jeff says:

    Rank these SP’s for the rest of the year – Primarily interested in ERA and WHIP – Garza, Nolasco, Billingsley

  25. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Alex: I wouldn’t own two catchers. Guess what my favorite team is.

    @Doug Ault: Hehe

    @Ryan: Neither.

    @Earl Battey: Looks fine for you.

    @kujo: Ha

    @NLFantasyBB: Wallace

    @Giant JJ: Burnett who?

    @Black Beard: Yeah, seriously.

    @Jeff: What Poon said.

    @ThePoonTycoon: Yeah, they’ve had a rough go of it.

    @Dan Z: Sure

    @Ross: Yeah, it is.

    @ThePoonTycoon: I’d lose Ike for Snider.

    @Jon: No, you’re right. The cleat falling off probably saves him 6 additional months on the DL. I’d grab Montero.

    @Ben: Cahill

    @Mr. Rickey: Gload

    @Philomath: Buccholz and Cain.

    @Wah: Dempster, Beckett…

    @XNadyMen: Hehe

    @Big Nate: Ha

    @Jeff: Nolasco, Garza…

  26. Eddy says:


    In a bit of a dilemma here. Yesterday you suggested keeping Cargo (13th round) Miggy (1st) and Wright (2nd) for next year. I enjoyed starting Hellickson last night and was wondering if you’d take him at the 23rd round instead of one of the above.

    If the answer is an obvious no, at least make me feel like less of a tard by throwing an ellipsis at the end of your answer.

  27. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Eddy: Nope…

  28. TJ says:

    Niese or Padilla going forward? I still have this mental block that I can’t fully trust Padilla.

  29. Grey

    Grey says:

    @TJ: Padilla

  30. brad says:

    In my 14 team keeper league I was just offered a keepable A-Rod. (2nd round) for my non keepable Evan Longoria.

    I know I like Longoria more than A-Rod, but how much? (I am very much in the hunt this year, as is my would be trading partner.)

    If I don’t get A-Rod I can choose to keep one of Rollins (2nd), BJ Upton (3rd), YoGa (4th) and Nolasco (5th). What would y’all sages do?

  31. Eddy says:


    Hehe thanks. I’ll see if I could throw him and Domonic Brown at some team for a SP. What tier more or less would I be looking at for a keeper package of those two?

  32. Eddy says:

    Oh and, D.Brown vs Sean West @Fla or Choo vs Beckett @Bos?

  33. Ciao Grey — Is it crazy to start Duensing @TAM tonight? It’s in a 20-team roto league and I can really use the innings.

    I can see some signs that says it’s OK: Tampa’s hitting just .246 against LHP, Peña’s probably out, and Duensing’s been solid since joining the rotation. But I have a hard time looking past the fact that the Rays may be the best team in baseball, they’ve won 9 of 10, and they’re playing at home.

    What do you think? In a league that deep do you roll the dice, or play it safe?

  34. Grey

    Grey says:

    @brad: I’d take A-Rod.

    @Eddy: A number two SP.

    @Eddy: Choo

    @Enrique: In a league that deep, I roll the dice. Obviously it’s risky.

  35. sal says:

    @Grey: Thoughts on this Yunesky Maya cat??

  36. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    Hellickson grew up 2 blocks from my house.

    Yay Iowa.

  37. PoopyPantsMcGee says:

    So I find myself in a pretty competitive 20 team mixer and based on his poor last month, someone drops Brennan Boesch.

    The only spot I had at the time was a similarly performing Drew Stubbs. I went ahead and pulled the FA add trigger.

    Good move or bad?

  38. ThE sHiT says:

    @Grey: Giving up KelJo, gettin Bruce. Slidin Beckham into 2B slot. Still ok 4 me?

  39. Grey

    Grey says:

    @sal: Who?

    @IowaCubs: His family was on TV last night at the Rays game. Didn’t mention you.

    @PoopyPantsMcGee: It’s okay. Boesch was playing over his head, but Stubbs slumps terribly. Six of one…

    @ThE sHiT: It’s okay.

  40. Doc says:

    Medlan tonight vs. mets or bumgarner @ colorado tomorrow? Gotaa be medlan right?

  41. PoopyPantsMcGee says:

    @Grey Followup – In same 20 team league, I’m totally starved for offense, but have somehow managed to assemble the following staff of SP:

    J Garcia
    Brett Anderson
    E. Santana

    Completely silly and unnecessary to have all these characters while I’m sporting no offensive weapons to speak of. I’m currently in third anyhow and looking to trade for an offensive piece. Which of these would be your top 4 to try and trade, and what grade of bat should I be looking for? Everyone in this league needs SP but I can’t seem to get a deal done.

  42. Jeff says:

    Shields, Liriano, Lilly – Rank for rest of the year – Primary interest is ERA and WHIP.

  43. PoopyPantsMcGee says:

    @ Jeff

    Liriano, Lilly, Shields – easy.

  44. Grey

    Grey says:

    @PoopyPantsMcGee: Garcia, Strasburg (assuming non-keeper), Anderson, Garza…. But trade Lincecum if he gets you a bat and that’s what you need.

    @Jeff: What Poopy said.

  45. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Doc: Medlen

  46. PoopyPantsMcGee says:


    Thats more or less what I was thinking. What kind of bat should I be getting in return for Garza? Delmon Young? Justin Upton? Carlos Beltran? Nick Johnson? (kidding). Would you rate Garza’s value as higher or lower than Hunter Pence?

  47. Giant JJ says:

    Sorry Grey. AJ Burnett, Gordon and Ishikawa for Berkman and moylan. 20 teams

  48. Gibby says:

    I’m with you brother Grey, it just isn’t cool when Randy Wells makes you think he might be a decent option in deep leagues and then he goes out and plays “turdburglar” on the mound. I have dropped him in both leagues that I owned him and will not be looking back……………………………………………………………………..nope, still not looking back. (you look for me and tell me if he is crying)

  49. Wilsonian says:

    Ok, posting a question for my Pops in our 8 Team H2H League. We get 5 keepers, they can be anyone, any position, no draft penalties, just the first five picks of the draft are keepers. He was offered a trade of Haren/Heyward for Weaver/BJ and wanted to know my opinion. While Haren can be a monster, Weaver has been one all year. And honestly, in an 8 Team league, I’m not too sure of Heyward even being keeper worthy, but there is that possibility. He’s in 3rd, so he isn’t out of the race, or anything. These are our categories:

    H, R, HR, RBI, SB, BB, K, AVG., W, L, SV, BB, K, ERA, WHIP, Ks/9. Thanks man.

  50. Alex says:

    You told me not to own 2 catchers so who do i drop out of Posey and Suzuki?

    Is it the Mets?

  51. Grey

    Grey says:

    @PoopyPantsMcGee: I’d take Young and hope for Upton.

    @Giant JJ: I’d want the Berkman side.

    @Gibby: Ha

    @ThE sHiT: Oh, the newest raftee… I thought it was a joke on Yuneisky Betancourt that I was missing.

    @Wilsonian: I’d want the Heyward side.

    @Alex: Suzuki

  52. PoopyPantsMcGee says:


    I’d rather have Haren than Weaver (based solely on career dominance) and Heyward has potential 30/30 all over him. Obviously Upton is a 5 tool player who could blossom literally at any time but has underperformed so far – call that a wash, maybe slight advantage Heyward. I’m unsure if I’d keep any of the four for sure unless my team was very poor.

  53. ThE sHiT says:

    @Grey: Lol thats cold dude. But still funny. Yeah i thought it was a joke on Betancourt also. Im very interested to c how this plays out.

  54. Grey

    Grey says:

    @ThE sHiT: Hehe


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