In Order To Zebby The Twin, You Have To Zebbeat the Twin

Zebby Matthews will be called up on Sunday. Or as Lionel Richie would say, “We’re going to Party, Zebby, not Festa, forever. Come on, and sing my song!” Lionel Richie is a big-time fantasy baseball guy, by the by. He drafted Jose Berrios and named his team Jose You, Jose Me, Say It Together, That’s The Way Jose Be(rrios). Zebby’s velocity is up this year (97 MPH 4-seamer, 95 last year), and his control is immaculate. He could be an ace. Of course, he’s a rookie starter, so it could go oopsie-roofie. I’d prioritize Zebby in every league, even the shallowest. Lil’ Zebby is a snack! Some of the preceding is from last month when I thought he was being called up already. And that’s me paraphrasing me! In Triple-A this year, he has 32 2/3 IP, 10.5 K/9, 2.5 BB/9, 1.93 ERA (!!!) and gorgeous peripherals like that every step of his way in the minors. In Itch’s last Prospect Stash post, from this past Sunday, Zebby was a listed stash, and Itch said, “I figured Zebby would be a Twinkie by now, but they went to Festa first, and Chris Paddack has clung to his rotation spot. Not Zebby’s fault, is all I mean to say. He’s got a 2.30 ERA and 34 strikeouts through 27.1 innings. He has given up 25 hits, I guess, and he did get smoked in his cup of coffee last year, but he’s throwing harder now and warrants another shot. Someone else I’d like to give a shot to is Grey, with my fist.” C’mon, man! Now that he’s finally getting the call, I’m Zebb’d up and ready to rock him on my teams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Carlos Correa – Collided with Byron Buxton (hit his 10th homer prior to leaving) and both are in concussion protocols. As frequent commenter Five-on-One said, “Talk about smashing a china plate against a crystal glass.” It’s like two bulls ramming their horns into each other, but instead of real bulls, they’re piñatas. It is like the old screwball gag where two guys carry a glass pane across a road, except the car coming the other way is a Cybertruck. After the collision, Correa’s bottom half felt great but the top half was determined to build up a dictatorship and nuclear arsenal.

Chris Paddack – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.05. Ya know what’s become an absolutely nutty development this year? The O’s are an easy matchup. What an utter disaster. I blame Gunnar.

DaShawn Keirsey Jr. – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Fun fact! He sometimes abbreviates his name, “DK Promo Code Jr.” If Buxton misses time (If?! HA!), Keirsey could see more at-bats. He’s 28, so take these stats with some NaCl, but he went 14/36/.300 last year in Triple-A. He won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, because he’s here right now for deep leagues.

Tomoyuki Sugano – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.08. Yesterday’s start was meh, but it’s better than his occasional too mo’ yucki.

Landon Knack – Roberts said Knack will remain the Dodgers’ 5th starter. I’m not sure if this is a positive or negative development. His command is wonky at times, so I’d leave him for deep leaguers, or wait until he looks better.

Shohei Ohtani – 2-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 14th and 15th homer, hitting .310. ‘Member way back to about a month ago someone kept commenting about how Ohtani was going to struggle this year because of his shoulder? Now that Ohtani is leading the majors in homers, you think that person will mention how Ohtani is not struggling at all in any way?

Max Muncy – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 3rd homer, and 2nd homer in two games. If he were dropped, he should be undropped for power.

Andy Pages – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer, 2nd homer in two games, hitting .291. Now hitting 5th in the best lineup in baseball. Cust kayin’.

Hyeseong Kim – 3-for-3, 4 runs, 2 RBIs, hitting .429. Sofa Kim hot!

Hunter Brown – 8 IP, 1 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 1.43. Astros starters with a sub-1.50 ERA through eight starts:  Roger Clemens, Justin Verlander, Gerrit Cole and Hunter Brown. Yesterday, though Brown allowed his first homer since his first start and lost, so boo, you stink. Okay, seriously, Hunter Brown is the 2nd best pitcher in baseball right now. No, the best isn’t deGrom, but (continued in next blurb).

Jacob deGrom – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.29. He did out-duel Brown last night in a vintage deGrom game. Though, is “vintage deGrom” injured and out for four months? Then not “vintage deGrom,” so to speak.

Jake Burger – 2-for-3, and his 4th homer. Good Burger!

Shawn Armstrong – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 2.89, and his 2nd save. Or rather Shawn Throw-Armstrong. Hashtag nailed it! Luke Jackson is banged up, Chris Martin is feeling Yellow and banged up, Robert Garcia throws with his left arm. Enter Throw-Armstrong. There’s an opportunity here for someone to take the closer job, if Jackson can’t return, or returns and looks as bad as he did when he left.

Nick Martinez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.66. Streamonator loved this start, because it was against the White Sux at home, so, yeah, no dur.

Will Benson – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. he’s starting because Friedl’s banged up. What’s that? Friedl’s always banged up? Haha, I know. Funny stuff. Well, uh, Will’s playing center for that reason. I guess technically Connor Joe (1-for-4, hitting .190) is playing because Friedl’s out. In case you were wondering where did he come from and where’d he go? Connor-eyed Joe.

Elly De La Cruz – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 8th homer, hitting .256. Ya know when girls go boy crazy? I’m that, but I’m Elly De La Crazy! I love everything about this guy. Can someone roughly half my age who has never met me become my father? I’m calling up an attorney to find out.

Matt McLain – 2-for-3, 2 runs and his 6th homer, hitting .182. Welp, I’m prolly not going to bring up McLain to BDon now.

Kevin Gausman – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.59. You see where I wrote “Schadenfreude” on the pool deck? I did that so I can bask in Schadenfreude. Lotion me up now, pool boy. I want to bask!

Addison Barger – 2-for-4 and his 2nd homer, 2nd homer in four games. Yes, he’s absolutely in this afternoon’s Buy column. He’s got muscles like Yandy, but actually swings up. That’s a big yes from me, dawg.

Nathan Lukes – 1-for-3 and his 3rd homer, 2nd homer in five games, and platooning out of the 9-hole. If he’s a hot schmotato, then do your thing, young prematurely balding man, but Lukes is a batting-average-first guy, which is a lot less interesting to me than big power or speed.

Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – 1-for-2 and his 5th homer. You drafted him around 12th overall, and that was all due to what he did from June 1st on last year. Do I think he’s still overrated? Yes, but there was a reason why he was good last year.

Brandon Lowe – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 6th and 7th homer, hitting .220. This was on the road in Toronto — that’s also why Yandy was barreled up (on a boat at Niagara taking pics with tourists, wearing a barrel) — but since it’s a short schedule day, it gives me time to dig in on something. As predicted, Big Stein Stadium has helped the Rays. In 2024, their park was 27th in offense; it was 16th for homers. This year it’s 14th overall and 8th for homers. In 2024, it was dead-last in HardHit%; this year it’s 6th.

Zack Littell – 7 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.31. Since I was looking for the Brandon Lowe blurb — Blarb? — the new home park has hurt the pitchers, as we all imagined. Home ERA last year was 8th best on the league with a 3.63 ERA; this year it’s 3.86, which is 18th in the league. There’s many other factors, of course.

Josh Lowe – 3-for-5, 3 runs and his 1st homer, as he was activated, and played his 2nd game of the year, as he hit leadoff. He played 106 games last year and 135 games the year before, but produced solid stats. Last year was less solid-ish, but solid-ish enough. This is babbling way of saying Josh Lowe should be rostered in every league, easily.

Kameron Misner – 1-for-4 and his 4th homer, hitting .256, but barely hitting .140 in May, and that was his 1st homer this month. Aranda’s the random Ray who is breaking out, not Misner.

CJ Abrams – 2-for-4, 2 runs and a slam (6) and legs (9), and 2nd homer in three games. He’s 6/9 in 33 games. Mr. Prorater is a literal menace that we will never summon, but that’s not a bad 30/45 pace. [Mr. Prorater crashes through wall] “Did someone say ‘pace?'” Jesus Christ! Get out of here! “Sorry, I thought I heard ‘pace.'”

AJ Smith-Shawver – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.33. More like Smith-Shover! Did I do something? Did someone else do this before? Prolly. Smith-Shover’s last five starts: 30 IP, 30 Ks, 1.50 ERA and a 0.97 WHIP. Not to take anything away from him, but only one of those starts was even nearing a tough start, and the Streamonator loved his last few. Even his next one is decent. With those caveats explored and commented on, his peripherals are decent. Bit loosey-goosey on command, but decent Ks. Again, they were great matchups so a bit of a grain of salt.

Bryce Elder – Optioned to Triple-A, as Spencer Strider will take his rotation spot next week. Elder to the minors was also Gary Glitter on AIM.