On May 23rd, Jason Heyward was scratched with a sore thumb. Seems harmless, right? As they say in Norway, “A-ha! (Best group ever.)” Turns out he has a strained ligament in his thumb and is headed to the DL. Member when I said I dropped him about a month or so ago? In your face fantasy baseball gods! (It was a shallow, no bench league, stop judging me for dropping Heyward. I can feel your stares.) Since May 23rd, Heyward has a line of 16/2/12/.210/2. If my math is right, that’s not a good month. No wonder he dodged the Strasburg bullet train last night. He’s scurred, Mystikal. Okay, I do really like Heyward, but this thumb injury could linger until the offseason. Not a great sign. He may not revisit his mollywhopping, pony stick ways until into The One-One. For those doing a bid in redraft leagues, DL him if you can and hope the rest helps his sucky thumb. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Tim Hudson – 7 IP, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks. Has a poor xFIP, a terrible K-rate and a meh walk rate. It’s not a trick, it’s an illusion!
Kris Medlen – Braves announced that Medlen will stay in the rotation after Jar-Jar returns because any other move would’ve been maddenin’.
Stephen Strasburg – 6 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks. Rest assured, Beckett Sports Card Monthly still plans on running its Strasburg cover for 16 consecutive months, ESPN will still work Strasburg into every baseball highlight and Strasburg, Virginia will continue to sell bumper stickers that read, “Virginia is for Strasburgers.”
Chase Utley – Will have an MRI on his hand today after hurting it on his slide into 2nd. They might want to MRI his hip while he’s in there. If you own Utley, this would be a good time to start praying to your Philly Phanatic bobblehead.
Raul Ibanez – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer. He’s been flatlining so long I didn’t think Bacon and Kiefer could’ve brought him back. Maybe he has a pulse after all. We shall see. Or not. Your choice.
Johnny Cueto – 8 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 0 Ks vs. the Phils. Sonavabench! How did he not strikeout anyone and hold the Phillies to 1 run? Cueto, we were friends and now I feel like I don’t know you at all.
Scott Rolen – 1-for-3 with his 17th homer. Should be a fun throwback Homer Derby at the All-Star Game with Rolen, Konerko and Wells. When Berman says back-back-back, he might be talking about a back injury.
Aaron Heilman – Two errors led to Heilman blowing the save without giving up a hit or a walk. Qualls was seen mumbling in the bullpen, “I’m not crazy, the closer role is cursed, I tell ya! Cursed!”
Adam LaRoche – Hit his 12th homer yesterday. It’s not quite the 2nd half yet, but no reason to tell LaRoche.
Chris Carpenter – 7 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks. Didn’t look like himself last night after being hit on the forearm by a comebacker. He stayed in the game, so it obviously wasn’t that bad, but it’s worth monitoring.
Carlos Quentin – Another day, another homer and another day at the office after a two month vacation.
Travis Snider – Continues to pull a Kotchman and now isn’t expected back until after the All-Star break.
Joel Zumaya – Out with a severe arm injury. His season might be in question. Leyland said, “That’s an awesome bad feeling to see something like that.” Did Tigers management tell him they’re trying to appeal to a younger generation and he needs to use “hip” words? Did he lose a bet and have to use awesome in every sentence? Or did someone pack his Marlboros with weed?
Francisco Liriano – 6 IP, 6 ER, 11 baserunners, 6 Ks. Awesome!
Miguel Olivo – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 11th homer as he bats .303 on the year. So the Wieters draft pick isn’t looking that good.
Hong-Chih Kuo – Got the save yesterday and could get another today as Broxton gets two days off after pitching four of the last five days. That’s one way to manage the bullpen. Another way would’ve been to just not bring Broxton in for the last four non-save opportunities.
Chad Billingsley – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks in his return from the DL. 6 innings, 98 pitches, a few runs, a few walks, some hits… Yup, Bills is back.
Michael Bourn – 4-for-6 and a home run. Someone test his urine!
Jose Tabata – 1-for-4 with his 3rd steal in the last five games and 5 steals in 17 games. Gotta love a guy that knows how he gives fantasy value.
Neil Walker – Probably going to the DL with a concussion, unless he’s hardheaded.
Mike Aviles – 3-for-4 and that’s exactly what Aviles do. Not a flashy 3-for-4, but a 3-for-4 neverthehoo!
Jason Bay – 2-for-4 with 2 homers. Now if the Mets bring in the fences 100 feet to mimic the bandbox Puerto Rican stadium, Bay will be in good shape.
Ricky Nolasco – 7 IP, 3 ER, 4 Hits, 0 Walks, 9 Ks. Hey, look who it is, ’08 Nolasco. Hey, ’08 Nolasco, say hello to your mother for me.
Kerry Wood – 1 IP, 0 ER with 2 Ks for the save. Right after the last out, the Indians emailed the entire league. Subject: Wood. Body of the email: He’s heating up!!! Better make your offers soon!!! No offer too small… Seriously, no offer.
Victor Martinez – Will go on the DL as the Red Sox call up Gustavo Molina. No relation, but it brings up an interesting idea. I wonder if I changed my name to Grey Molina if the Astros would be interested.
