When Ike Davis told reporters,”Gag me with a spoon,” red flags were raised. Why was he talking like he grew up in Reseda? It wasn’t the dreaded Valley Fever, was it? Like, oh my god, it might be. Valley Fever, from what I gathered from Google, WebMD and other non-reliable sources, could knock Davis out […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Joel Zumaya
The 2012 fantasy baseball rankings are just about in the bag, but first we look at the top 20 middle relievers for 2012 fantasy baseball. No, next we’re not going to do the Top 20 Guys Who Will Have The Most Balks. Chillax. The only people that seem to pay attention to middle relievers are […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?On the heels of the top 20 closers for 2012 fantasy baseball — or heals if you’re talking strictly about Huston Street and Andrew Bailey — comes every closer for 2012 fantasy baseball. This is the post you’ve all been waiting for since earlier this morning! Sorry to put you through that hour and a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Jonathan Broxton is out with elbow pain. Andre Ethier is out with an inflammed elbow. Since Casey Blake has a staph infection in his elbow, him, Broxton and Ethier must’ve rubbed elbows. It’s an idiomatic joke! Dodgers Fever. Take some penicillin! If this elbow thing was being passed around the Dodger clubhouse any quicker….Alyssa Milano […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Zack Greinke fractured his rib while playing basketball. Word is he jumped from the free throw line and tried to dunk over the Brewers’ 2011 expectations. Prince Fielder would’ve missed the shot before looking bad. Since we just drafted Gallardo, I’m glad he doesn’t play hoops with Yovani. Greinke will miss 3 starts, so take […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?For the first time in over two years, Jonathan Papelbon is no longer a $12 Salad. I know, call your Congressman. Pass Prop 12. There’s been signs for a long time that he wasn’t the same closer from 2007. I didn’t want to move him because he seemed like the epitome of a $12 Salad. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Chase Utley was placed on the 15-day DL with a sprained thumb and he might need surgery. This injury opens up a big gaping hole in his owners’ hearts that can only be filled with junk food and hardcore drugs. Utley may not have been playing his weight in pomade, but at least you had […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?On May 23rd, Jason Heyward was scratched with a sore thumb. Seems harmless, right? As they say in Norway, “A-ha! (Best group ever.)” Turns out he has a strained ligament in his thumb and is headed to the DL. Member when I said I dropped him about a month or so ago? In your face […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Brain Freezes lived up to their names last month. With Jenks, Hoffman, Gregg, Dotel, Lidge, Funklin Morales, Qualls, Perez, Wood and Simon all putting dry ice on your fantasy baseball team and then shattering it. No one ever said owning Brain Freezes would be easy, but does it have to be this hard? Can’t […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?As I was thinking about Rudy going off and getting married, I needed a good cry, so I burned myself a sad song CD. Rather than try and find 15 songs that all had the same sentiment, I just put Why Can’t I? by Liz Phair on there 15 times. By the 12th repeat, I […]
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