Jonathan Broxton is out with elbow pain. Andre Ethier is out with an inflammed elbow. Since Casey Blake has a staph infection in his elbow, him, Broxton and Ethier must’ve rubbed elbows. It’s an idiomatic joke! Dodgers Fever. Take some penicillin! If this elbow thing was being passed around the Dodger clubhouse any quicker….Alyssa Milano would get royalties! Ah, you knew that was coming. That’s what Alyssa said! With regards to junk-in-his-trunk Broxton, I’d grab Padilla then Kuo. I think both should be rostered in every league for right now. Wouldn’t be surprised if this week it’s Padilla then Kuo takes over for two months. In deep leagues, I’d even grab Kenley. He should be back shortly. As for Andre the non-Giant, he should be fine, but he’s been known to take a 15-day stint at a Beverly spa now and again. BTW, yesterday, Jay Gibbons hit 3rd. He can’t even see! The Dodgers first three hitters were Gwynn Jr., Aaron Miles and Gibbons. I’d rather have Cincy’s Triple-AAA lineup with Sappelt, Frazier, Alonso and Mesoraco. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ted Lilly – 6 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks. Now at a 4.93 ERA on the year. Just as I drew it up when I drafted him to be my not-so-flashy-but-solid contributor to my fantasy teams. Maybe I spent too much time breathing in the air in Port-a-Johns when I was younger, but I think Lilly’s still gonna end the season with a 3.70 ERA.
Ben Revere – Ben Revere is coming, Ben Revere is coming! Ben Revere sounds like Affleck’s alias when he checks into hotels. “When Matt Saugus shows up, send him up to my room.” That’s Affleck talking to the front desk manager. Revere is SAGNOF! He had 7 steals in only 23 games this year in Triple-A and 36 steals last year in 94 games at Double-A, or as Lohan calls it AA. The prizzoblem is Delmon’s due back soon and Revere might not have a place to play, so the Twins could make like Kendrys, add an S and put Revere into reverse. In AL-Only leagues, obviously you still need to take the flyer right now. If Revere starts hitting, the Twins could sneak him into their lineup even with Young and Nishioka returning. Casilla is obviously ripe for a benching. Ca see ya! In most mixed leagues, I’d let it play out for a few to see Revere’s playing time.
Alex Rios – 3-for-4 with his 2nd homer in three days. The buy low window is shut.
Orlando Hudson – To the DL. Shocker! It’s like having money on the 6 and 8 with a hot roller. It’s gonna hit eventually.
Eric Patterson – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer. Should get 2nd base eligibility with O-Dog O-ut. Right now, we own Patterson in an NL-Only league. The power isn’t for real, but for a short shot of SAGNOF, I could see adding him in mixed leagues.
Brad Hawpe – 2-for-3 with his first home run. Now one off the pace being set by Eric Patterson. Because I don’t own Hawpe anywhere, I honestly didn’t know how bad he’s been. A .183 average and one homer. What hitters would sign with the Padres? They really need to move the fences in front of the Randy Jones and Nate Colbert statues.
Aneury Rodriguez – 5 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 3 Ks. He’s got a live arm. I like him and I’m not just saying that cause I actually own him. Well, maybe a little. Has a decent K-rate and a terrible walk rate on a terrible team which limits him to NL-Only leagues for now. Maybe a streamer in mixed H2H leagues, but you need to be slightly desperate.
Brandon Lyon – 0 IP, 3 ER. When he comes in for a save and you own him, it’s likely the worst news you hear all day. If I felt differently, I’d be Lyon.
Mark Melancon – Worth a speculative add in case the naked pictures Lyon has of Ed Wade’s Toupee are burned and he’s finally replaced.
Travis Wood – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks. I really hope he’s not bumped from the rotation because he should be even better than he was yesterday, which wasn’t bad.
Carlos Pena – 2 homers, 2 days. Member when Lind started hitting homers last week and I said how I hate to drop guys like him and Pena because when they get hot, they hit 5 homers in the matter of days and it was like they were never slumping? Yeah, Pena’s now hot.
Marlon Byrd – Out of the three hole, he hit a three run homer while batting .290 on the year. Yet, he still only has 8 RBIs on the year. That’s enough to make Tim Kurkjian’s voice crack.
Allen Craig – When Freese went down, La Russa said the 3rd base job would be shared by Descalso and Punto, so, of course, La Russa has done nothing but play Allen Craig. *shakes fist, accidentally bangs funny bone, shakes entire arm* Craig has a decent bat if he plays every day. He could hit 12-14 homers, steal 10 bases and have a .280ish average in a few months time. It’s also worth noting La Russa could bench him for Punto at any point for no apparent reason.
Pedro Alvarez – I don’t want to think he didn’t play yesterday, instead I like to think he walked 4 times. Cause that’s our relationship, he sucks and I lie to myself about it. Alvarez, I’d catch a grenade for you. You bastard!
Tommy Hanson – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks. I loved Hommy Tanson in the preseason, not sure why I don’t have him on any team. “Such has been my fantasy life so far,” Grey said as he wiped away a single tear a’la a Native American watching someone litter.
Tim Hudson – 9 IP, 2 baserunners (1 hit), 6 Ks. The Brewers are a solid lineup to be one hit. Maybe they caught Braddock’s sleep disorder.
Clayton Richard – 5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks and 6 unearned runs. That ticker shock was actually a relief. Hay-zeus Chreesto, I thought he really gave up 7 runs.
Max Scherzer – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks. Schweet, schweet Scherzer.
Al Alburquerque – 1 IP, 2 Ks. You know where Al Alburquerque is from? Santa K.
Adam Lind – 4-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer. To think you wanted to drop him less than two weeks ago, for shame.
Brandon Morrow – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks. He’s a bit of a WHIPping post nightmare, but his Ks are delicious.
Frank Francisco – 1 IP, 1 ER and the save. A day after Rauch got a neck tattoo that read, “BS,” Frank2 came on and did a pretty mediocre job of proving his worth. I imagine it’s still a time share.
David Freese – After his successful surgery, Freese said, “”They put the bones back together, put a plate over it, and then put five little screws in there.” Sounds like he had the surgery done at Ikea.
Tim Lincecum – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 12 Ks in Metco. Mets should’ve dressed Mr. Met up in a toga so he’d look like a giant doobie.
John Axford – 1 IP, 2 ER. Kazaam!
Zack Greinke – 4 IP, 4 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks. He’s not returning from an arm injury, so I’m chalking this up as rust.
Vance Worley – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks. It’s one thing when you’re looking bad compared to Halladay, Oswalt and Hamels, but can’t Joe Blanton catch a break to collect his self-esteem?
Joel Zumaya – Will undergo exploratory elbow surgery. Which means they will shrink Rick Moranis and send him in to check it out.
