As I was thinking about Rudy going off and getting married, I needed a good cry, so I burned myself a sad song CD.  Rather than try and find 15 songs that all had the same sentiment, I just put Why Can’t I? by Liz Phair on there 15 times.  By the 12th repeat, I started to realize something, Liz Phair is talking about closers.  Picking up setup men that you hope become the closer?  “It’s an itch we know we are gonna scratch.”  When will Matt Thornton become the closer?  “Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch.”  Octavio Dotel is called into the game?  “Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you?”  I know exactly what you mean, Liz Phair.  Frankly, I’m surprised no one else picked up on this hidden meaning.  This is our Helter Skelter.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Jonathan Papelbon (Daniel Bard, Hideki Okajima)
2. Jonathan Broxton (+1) (George Sherrill, Ramon Troncoso, Hong-Chih Kuo)
3. Mariano Rivera (-1) (Joba Chamberlain, Alfredo Aceves, Damaso Marte)
4. Carlos Marmol (+2) (John Grabow, Carlos Zambrano)


Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

5. Joakim Soria (+2) (Kyle Farnsworth, Josh Rupe)
6. Francisco Rodriguez (Fernando Nieve, Jenrry Mejia)
7. Heath Bell (-2) (Mike Adams, Luke Gregerson)
8. Jose Valverde (Joel Zumaya, Ryan Perry)
9. Brian Wilson (+1) (Jeremy Affeldt, Sergio Romo)
10. Francisco Cordero (+1) (Arthur Rhodes, Nick Masset)
11. David Aardsma (-2) (Mark Lowe, Brandon League)
12. Rafael Soriano (Dan Wheeler, Grant Balfour, J.P. Howell)
13. Billy Wagner (Takashi Saito, Kris Medlen)
14. Ryan Franklin (Kyle McClellan, Jason Motte)
15. Jon Rauch (+12) (Matt Guerrier, Jesse Crain)
16. Andrew Bailey (+1) (Michael Wuertz, Brad Ziegler)
17. Brian Fuentes (Fernando Rodney, Kevin Jepsen, Scot Shields)
18. Leo Nunez (Dan Meyer, Brian Sanches)
19. Matt Capps (+5) (Tyler Clippard, Brian Bruney, Mike MacDougal)
20. Matt Lindstrom (+10) (Brandon Lyon, Sammy Gervacio)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Chad Qualls– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit LaRoche in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

21. Bobby Jenks (Matt Thornton, J.J. Putz)
22. Trevor Hoffman (-4) )(Carlos Villanueva, Todd Coffey, LaTroy Hawkins)
23. Kevin Gregg (+2) (Jason Frasor, Scott Downs)
24. Octavio Dotel (-6) (Evan Meek, Brendan Donnelly, Joel Hanrahan)
25. Brad Lidge (+4) (Danys Baez, Jose Contreras, Chad Durbin)
26. Franklin Morales (+2) (Manny Corpas, Rafael Betancourt, Huston Street)
27. Chad Qualls (-4) (Juan Gutierrez, Bob Howry)
28. Neftali Feliz (-11) (Frank Francisco, Chris Ray)
29. Chris Perez (-3) (Rafael Perez, Tony Sipp, Kerry Wood)
30. Alfredo Simon (-15) (Cla Meredith, Koji Uehara, Mike Gonzalez, Lester Freamon)

  1. from the previous post (arrrggghhh, just missed the grey cutoff, sorry):

    @Mitch & @Tony: My guess is that the Tribe gets to Romero tonight in Cleveland.

    Romero’s left/right splits from minors and last year don’t look too great and he’s starting to issuing more walks.

  2. Stephen says:

    What about Carlos Vilanueva as Hoffmans’ backup?

  3. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Arthur O: dont say that

  4. from prior post, sorry:
    Strasburg promoted to 3A; for all of you in NL AAA Leagues.
    Any excitement purcolating over Morrow? Last three starts (KC, Tampa, Oak) terrific & @ Clev. next. Higher upside than Cecil, Fister and all the other arms du jour?

  5. Grey

    Grey says:

    @zombie: Over Fister, but Cecil over him. I’d own him vs. Indians.

  6. timSTi says:

    @Grey: With a staff of Nolasco, Kershaw, Baker, Correia, CJ Wilson, Sanchez, De La Rosa, & Vazquez, is Vazquez droppable for Joba?

    This is a 10 team 7 keeper with a 1300 IP limit. We have 5 SP spots and 3 RP spots active. I have Simon in an SP spot and would intend on throwing Joba in an SP spot too as he’s eligible. My RP’s would then consist of Dotel, Marmol, Morales, Simon, & Joba with Wood on the DL. I’m 2nd to last in saves with the leader having twice as many as me. I think I could easily make up some ground with 5 sucky RP’s as opposed to 3. Just dont want to jump ship on Vazquez too soon.

  7. William says:

    @Grey – I dropped Franklin Morales but he’s a FA now. My “closers” right now are Heath Bell, Frank Frank, and Alfredo Simon

    I’m thinking of picking up Morales again but I need help in identifying a drop – the candidates are: Andruw Jones (who i just picked up as a plug for Granderson), and Ervin Santana

    My SPs currently are – Johan Santana, Cole Hamels, Wandy Rodriguez, Clay Buchholz, AJ Burnett, and Ervin Santana

    Bit of a pickle because SVs are always tricky in H2H.

  8. brad says:

    @timSTi: If it’s me I’d drop Wilson before Javy. Do you have any offensive bench players?

  9. Van Hammersly says:

    Lester’s waiting out in the O’s bullpen right now sanding the edges on some dollhouse furniture, just biding his time.

  10. Grey

    Grey says:

    @timSTi: Don’t drop Vazquez.

    @William: If you drop Ervin, will he be picked up? If not, go for it. But I’d prefer SPs over RPs in H2H. H2H is tricky. Are you *the* William H.?

  11. timSTi says:

    @brad: Only bench player is Rollins as my DL is filled with Cruz & Wood.

  12. CoreyII says:

    how is Matt Capps a Donkeycorn when the Brain Freeze category is named after him?

  13. William says:

    @Grey – She Bang! Everytime someone asks me that question I think back to Michael Bolton from Office Space. Though I have exploited the name in accepting several ladies’ facebook friend requests…

  14. keith says:


    What do you think:

    Give: Utley, Swisher
    Rec: Pujols ,f. Lopez

  15. keith says:


    jose lopez

  16. Marqo says:

    Mo should be No.1 easily… What’s his ERA? Yeah… What’s Paps ERA? Yeah… If you can choose one guy to close out the game for you in the 9th Inning, you’ll take Mo every single time!

  17. Terrence Mann says:

    I noted a couple days ago that Simon is listed as a starter at yahoo.

    Noticed today that Chacin is listed as a reliever for any of you guys looking to manipulate lineup requirements.

  18. @Grey: speaking of DL (in general), is Furcal in for a repeat of his 2008 campaign (hot start, injury, season over)?

  19. nick m. says:

    @Grey: can you rank these pitchers in H2H for the rest of the year as you see them: J. Vazquez, E. Santana, B. Cecil, W. Davis, Strasburg, and R. Wells? Thanks.

  20. nick m. says:

    oh…. and Ian Kennedy…

  21. Curse of the Goat says:


    I’ve got Broxton, Street, C. Perez, R. Madson and A. Simon on my team. I’m clearly struggling for saves.

    Out of the following set-up men who are available in my league, which TWO get the most saves by the end of the year?: Gutierrez, Hawkins, Lyon, Meyer, Wuertz, Guerrier, Lowe, Affeldt, Adams, McClellan.

    Thanks in advance.

  22. Tony says:

    @Marqo: healthy sure, who got the save the other night, not rivera, he’s ailing….. thats why he’s not #1

  23. Mann of Sandd says:

    LMAO….Lester Freamon. Too bad Omar’s gone, he would have been the man to beat in that bullpen.

  24. Wilsonian says:

    @Grey: checked out your previous Buy/Sell on Chacin. Does he have a spot in the rotation? It looks like he might just be a fill-in for the time being. That being said, who do you like in a 16 Team H2H? D.Lowe or Chacin? I really want to get rid of D.Lowe, if people haven’t noticed…

  25. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    OMG! Marmol is a $12 Salad!

    I have never owned a $12 Salad before. This violates everything I stand for. I feel both giddy/dirty.

  26. Terrence Mann says:

    @Wilsonian: Francis, De la Rosa, and Hammels are all currently on the DL. Francis has a AA rehab start this week. The other fill-ins, Greg Smith and Esmil Rogers have looked bad. Chacin will pitch at least through May. With the Rockies injury bug, I pretty much expect him to have a rotation spot the rest of the season.

  27. The list is Extra-Freezy this year.

  28. ThePoonTycoon says:

    is it bad that across my 3 teams i own far more of the brain freezes than i’d care to admit?

  29. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: ha, same here. got marmol for $5 in an auction league, which was cheaper than most closers.

  30. Wilsonian says:

    @Terrence Mann: very good points about their injuries. Would you drop D.Lowe for him in a 16 Team H2H? He’s rotting on my bench, as I’ve only (luckily) spot started him lately – we only have a 15IP floor.

  31. Grey

    Grey says:

    @CoreyII: I blame my copy and paster.

    @William: Ha!

    @keith: Take Pujols.

    @Marqo: He was injured a few days ago. Last week he would’ve been #1.

    @Arthur O: Could be

    @nick m.: They’re all matchups at this point. Wells, Ervin, Javy, Kennedy, Cecil, Davis….

    @Curse of the Goat: By the end of the year, who you should own now? I’d own Gutierrez.

    @Mann of Sandd: Hehe

    @Wilsonian: Chacin over Lowe, he’s starting until he explodes or Rosa returns.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Hehe

    @ThePoonTycoon: Live on the edge.

  32. Bill Lumbergh says:

    @Grey Just received a trade offer of his Scherzer for my recently picked up B. Cecil. 12 team H2H dynasty league. I’m thinking “accept”. Thoughts?

  33. timSTi says:

    @Grey: Huff, Venable, S.Hairston, Thome, or Hart over B.Wood in a Util spot? I’m getting killed in AVG & RBI’s. Deep 10 teamer w/ 14 starting hitters.

  34. JR says:

    Looking for power, and have runs to spare. Also I just lost K. suzuki for a bit. How does give Jose Reyes and get McCann sound?

  35. Howard says:

    What are you guy’s thoughts on Billy Butler going forward? I’m really struggling for power, and have been playing Smoak in the utility spot. Is it worth looking to deal Butler and slotting Smoak in at first?

  36. William says:

    @Grey – Ervin Santana or Shaun Marcum?

  37. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Bill Lumbergh: Eh

    @timSTi: Eh… Depends who’s currently hot. I’d stay put for now.

    @JR: It’s fair, I’d try for someone with more power though if that’s where you’re hurting.

    @Howard: Depends what you’re getting.

    @William: Ervin

  38. Rick Dempsey says:

    @Grey: Did you see any of Baker’s start last night?

  39. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Rick Dempsey: No, I flew in late. Saw only a box score.

  40. Frank Rizzo says:

    In a Yahoo League where we can start up to 4 SP’s and 1 RP at a time, Simon could be a steal. He’s got SP only eligibility at the moment. That’s potential gold. Picked him and Joba up and now could potentially get 3 saves in a night. Don’t hurry back Mariano, ya hear?

  41. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Grey: No wedding deets? Did you give a toast? Did you reference Oscar Gamble? Is Oscar Gamble Rudy’s dad?

    Did you dance the Macarena? The Mashed Potato? The Jerry Lewis?

    Did you wear a tux? Powder-blue? Powder-green? Cummerbund? Speedo?

    Was there a DJ? A band? Was it Sixpence None the Richer? You were in Austin, right? Was Rick Linklater there? Or that weird dude from the ‘Slacker’ poster?

    Who’s your favorite Beastie Boy? Team DJ Hurricane or Team Money Mark?

  42. Frank Rizzo says:

    I’ve been offered Aramis for Ian Stewart/Marlon Byrd. Stewart/Byrd are bench guys for me. Aramis would be too since I have Youk as my 3b but if Aramis breaks out of his slump it could give me trade flexibillity. Good one for me?

  43. Dingo says:

    You shouldn’t be sad about Rudy getting married, Grey. Someday you too may be a polyester bride.

  44. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Yeah, I gave the best man’s speech. Quite possibly the worst speech ever given in the history of best men, according to 99% of the wedding. Audible groans and I think the grandmother booed. I was a pariah. People still couldn’t make eye contact with me the next day at breakfast. The wedding video will be me saying, “Hello, everyone–” Weird jump cut. “–Congrats!”

    @Frank Rizzo: I wouldn’t.

  45. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Frank Rizzo: Think I’m-a change up my style just to fit in?

    @Grey: I can’t imagine that’s true, unless you went off on a long digression about Ian Stewart’s fly-ball rate. Besides, there’s always that 1%. They are the true connoisseurs.

  46. Wilsonian says:

    Going forward – Joba or Bard?

  47. William says:

    @Grey – Just to let you know… I’m still on the Carlos Quentin Bandwagon. Looking at his Y! ownership trend, it seems there’s plenty of room to stretch out. You still on there with me?

  48. Tarasco's Secret Stash says:

    Is there some modicum of good still hiding inside the shell of Ben Sheets, or is he worth cutting ties with at this point in favor of Morrow or Cecil?

  49. mc serch says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: gotta kick it old school with hurricane…ad-rock for delivery and mca for the dude who’s life i wish i had

  50. Fletch says:

    I received an offer from a guy who wanted to trade me McCutchen for S. Drew. I took it and then snagged Tejada off waivers to replace Drew at SS. My outfield now is Crawford,
    J. Upton, McCutchen and Cargo. Good trade?

  51. Curly Day says:

    Is Treme making you miss The Wire Grey? Do you wish Albert Lambreaux was really Lester going back to his roots in NO after giving up on B-more?

  52. mc serch says:

    @Grey: Hey Grey. Only got one spot to play with cause of my extensive list of disabled players, sooooooo….drop Frank-Frank for Joba? Only way that makes sense is if Mo ends up on DL, right?

  53. Buge Hoobs says:

    In my 10 team 5×5, I just missed picking up Freese from FA by 15 minutes. I’m sure that there has gotta be a term for that, just unaware or it.

    Anywho … the guy dropped Fukudome to get him. Is there any reason why I shouldn’t try picking him up from waivers??? His numbers look fine to me. Or is Swish a better long term pick up?

    Is it time to bail on Span for Swisher/Franceur/JDDrew/McLouth yet ???

  54. sean says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I hear that and echo your shame and excitement. Maybe it’s just my Catholic guilt.

    This is only semantics, but I think it runs afoul to the notion of a $12 salad to list Marmol there. He’s the perfect definition of a donkeycorn. We trust in Marmol being absurdly filthy and he has rewarded us with nothing short of a Tijuana donkey show thus far.

  55. Howard says:

    @Grey Love the Liz Phair reference! Why are my bullpens so full of Brain Freezes? I mean!!! It’s like an freakin’ Dairy Queen over here! Why? Because I refuse to pay for saves! SAGNOF!!!

  56. sean says:

    @Buge Hoobs: Why would you bail on Denard. If you drafted him with reasonable expectations (plus in the R, AVG, and SB categories) then he’s well on his way toward delivering. The average got off to a shaky start, but he’s 6/1/5/.300/1 in his last 30 ABs.

    A team rostering Span has totally different needs than the team looking for Swisher, Frenchy, etc. You have to understand your needs before you make that move…

  57. Howard says:

    I just wanna Qualls out on a Lidge and jump Hoffman!!!

  58. Niq Castro says:

    @Buge Hoobs: do you have someone to plug in when fukudome is vs LHP? Personally I’d go swisher. Fuku’s streaks are very long and messy.

    Also, who’s the better option? (5 standard cats + hits and obp)
    -Nyjer/Gardner: (I say gardner)
    -Smoak/Robot Jones (both on bench, hard to justify em both. I’m still devoid of opinion here)
    -Alcides/no one/Pennington till rollins is rollin’ again

    (Alcides- steal a base or six!!!)

  59. brad says:

    @Curly Day: Treme is no Wire, but it’s still pretty damn good. It is really weird to see Wire actors not being Wire characters though.

  60. KarlJ. says:

    Ugh, so I just traded Konerko straight up for Andrus. I desparately needed a SS ( Alcides just wasn’t cutting it) and the only option on waivers was Alex Gonzalez (yuck)
    Thought I was getting Wandy too but that part of the deal fell apart.
    Didn’t really sell as high on Konerko as I would have liked but nobody in my league was really buying his hot start.
    Quentin now gets plugged back in my UT spot so hopefully he picks it up now and gives me comparable numbers to Konerko the rest of the way.
    Tell me I didn’t totally just make a really bad panic move.

  61. NukeLaDouche says:

    @grey Pierre, Rajai, Fowler, or Borbon? I need steals badly, but I don’t want my average blown up in the long term.

  62. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Niq Castro: smoak over robot. smoak will be batting close to or above .300 by the end of may if he keeps his K and BB rates the same and keeps hitting line drives at this rate (25% line drives, only .148 babip).

  63. Josh says:

    My team is off to a 1-3 start in a 12 team H2H league. My pitching has been getting it done, but not my offense due to a lot of underacheiving. My offense looks like: 1B- Votto 2B-Utley SS-Reyes 3B- Stewart MI- Alcides CI- Smoak OF-Sizemore, Bay, Granderson(Now DL’d but I was benching one of Bay/Sizemore/Granderson anyway), Rasmus, and Austin Jackson.

    Our league is short on pitching and I could probably pull off one of Werth or Upton if I gave either Kershaw or Price. I know it sounds like a steal, but in reality with the shortness of pitching in our league and the fact that my numbers are skewed by Ubaldo’s absurd start, do I pull the trigger on one of those guys to help my miserable OF or wait for one of the big guys to come around?

    Also I’d like to sell on Austin Jackson, but everyone knows he’s gonna regress, so what’s the point of giving him up? Might as well hold on to him for the Runs and SBs he’ll still provide at the top of the Tigers lineup… unless you think it’d be worth trying to trade for some MI help over Alcides’ 0 steals.

  64. Buge Hoobs says:

    @Sean and Niq: Thanks. My OF right now starts 4 of these: Kemp, Abreu, Span, Damon, with Granderson on DL. Willingham is my UTIL.

    In my league, the owners are typically very fickle and drop some big names early. I threw the Span idea out there because I haven’t heard much of him this year and get tempted by some of those othe big names out there. I want to make sure that I’m not missing out on an obvious oversight. For instance, I wasn’t aware of Fuku’s split stats. But, as I said, I need to act quick when big’uns gets dropped and don’t always have time to sit and crunch the numbers.

    My approach to the U has always been to plug in the best available all around player. Is Willingham doing that for me, or would one of the others be a better long term fit?

    My needs … well I got hit by the DL bug early, so it’s tricky to deduce my true needs. Kinsler, Roberts, Cliff Lee, Montero, Granderson

    Why would you bail on Denard. If you drafted him with reasonable expectations (plus in the R, AVG, and SB categories) then he’s well on his way toward delivering. The average got off to a shaky start, but he’s 6/1/5/.300/1 in his last 30 ABs.

    A team rostering Span has totally different needs than the team looking for Swisher, Frenchy, etc. You have to understand your needs before you make that move…

  65. Buge Hoobs says:

    Sorry for the repeat of your comments. Gotta get the kids out of the room next time.

  66. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Wilsonian: Joba for vulture saves.

    @William: I’m still hoping he breaks out at some point.

    @Tarasco’s Secret Stash: I’d look elsewhere.

    @Fletch: Nice

    @Curly Day: David Simon has a free pass for me to watch the whole season, but I’m not loving Treme so far.

    @mc serch: Wait until the DL.

    @Buge Hoobs: Swish is not a long term pickup, ride the hot bat until he goes cold pickup.

    @Howard: Ha

    @Niq Castro: Gardner, Smoak, Alcides…

    @KarlJ.: It’s fine.

    @NukeLaDouche: Fowler

    @Josh: I’d take Werth for Price.

  67. Curly Day says:

    @Grey & @brad, the Washington Post said Treme has the potential to be better than The Wire. I’m still waiting, and like you said will watch the whole season. Lester and Bunk just make me think of the good ol’ days – maybe that’s working against Treme. (Entourage is coming back soon right? to make my HBO subscription worth it.)

  68. Commish Cauda says:

    ***16-team, H2H-POINTS League***

    I could use a SP. Trade Torii Hunter for Scott Baker? It would mean starting starting your boy Maybin everyday until Blanks remembers how to hit

  69. El Burro says:

    @ Grey: 14 team – 30 man rosters / pretty deep H2H weekly league. 6×6 (Total Bases)- need to fill a UTIL spot with Grandy DL’d — so need to choose between these bats, which do you like best going forward:

    Reimold – own currently. not happy.
    Snider – available, been garbage lately.
    Freese – available (will have to use #1 waiver priority for him), been en fuego.

    thoughts appreciated.

  70. Matty D says:

    Callaspo or J Lopez as an infield bench option?

  71. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @mc serch: Hurricane — he’s got clout. You other DJs, he’ll put your head out.

    @sean: Ha! Marmol is singlehandedly keeping my BrainFreezeBullpen together.

    @Fletch: Yes. Fletch lives!

  72. Mr. Rickey says:

    Any chance Storen closes games this season for the Nats?

  73. Steve says:

    @Grey: Don’t tell me you told that story about your dog. You know, THAT one.

    And don’t ask me how I remember this shizz, it’s just how I roll.

  74. mrbaseball says:

    I want to trade Ubaldo Jiménez for hitting – – is he as good as I think he is and I can a get a good hitter in re-turn

  75. Bodymore says:

    @Grey what is your take on Billingsley for Jones?

  76. mrbaseball says:

    grey my 20 team Dynasty League we are talking about – its much easier to find pitching than hitting

  77. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Curly Day: Yeah, not crazy about seeing Bunk and Lester in different roles. Hard to not compare.

    @Commish Cauda: It’s okay.

    @El Burro: Freese

    @Matty D: Lopez

    @Mr. Rickey: Never know, long season.

    @Steve: Ha… I don’t even remember telling that story on the blog, but, no, didn’t tell that one.

  78. Bodymore says:

    @Grey Adam Jones , sorry bout that

  79. Grey

    Grey says:

    @mrbaseball: He could win the Cy Young this year.

    @Bodymore: I’d take Jones. Depends on needs.

  80. Commish Cauda says:

    @Mr. Rickey: I would think with the way the Nats are playing (i.e. competitive), they would stick with Capps for the entire season as opposed to trading him at the deadline and inserting Storen into the fire.

    Storen could end up in a set-up role by season’s end, by Tyler Clippard has been lights out too. There’s really no reason for the Nats to bring him up…

  81. Steve says:

    @Grey: They were simpler times.

  82. Bodymore says:

    cool, I took Jones and need OF

  83. GopherDay says:

    @Grey: In a dynasty league, who would you want going forward? (This year and beyond) AJ Burnett or Kevin Slowey?

  84. William says:

    @Grey – Thoughts on Kevin Slowey? I traded him for Aardsma and feel a bit of buyers remorse… please reassure me!

  85. Commish Cauda says:

    @GopherDay: slowey

  86. Mojo the Helper Monkey says:

    @mc serch: I’m not too sure you want MCA’s life these days. Nathaniel Hornblower came down with cancer in ’09 :(

  87. Mr. Rickey says:

    @Commish Cauda: I guess I’m skeptical that the Nats keep this up. Of course, I’m a Reds fan and have experienced many competitive seasons . . . . if they had ended in mid-June. Also, I’m in a keeper league so I’m inclined to hold Storen if I can without hurting myself.

  88. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Grey: Madson is out 8 weeks with the broken toe.

    Who’s a better spec stash? Joba or Contreras?

    Apparently Manuel is on record saying Contreras is next in line if Lidge falters.

  89. Grey

    Grey says:

    @William: You’ll be a’ight.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I heard that about Contreras, but that sounds kinda bonkers to me. I’d go with Joba.

  90. SamYo says:

    Ubaldo for Lester straight up, I’m getting Lester. Which side would you prefer ?

  91. Kazmere says:

    Possible Posada replacement if he misses more than a couple days?
    AJ, Barajas, Jaso, Buck, Torrealba, Hundley

  92. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @SamYo: Keep Ubaldo. Why do people want to trade Ubaldo? Is he too good for you? Are you too happy with the results so far?

    Unless you’re trading him for a first-round offensive talent like Ryan Braun, why trade him?

    Hey, 7 IP, 13 Ks, 6-0 on the year. Yep, time to trade him for another, different starter.

  93. sean says:

    @Kazmere: Punt.

  94. sean says:

    Asdrubal out tonight with a quad injury. Not sure if it’ll need time on the DL

  95. john says:

    Anyone letting the pelotas drop and starting Ervin tonight?

  96. sean says:

    @SamYo: Ubaldo. Unless you’re afraid of owning the NL CY…

  97. Grey

    Grey says:

    @sean: Thanks for the heads up!

    @john: I wouldn’t.

  98. john says:

    @Grey: Always with the safe choice…you never let me have any fun or excitement!!

  99. Niq Castro says:

    @SamYo: Walk away from the computer or whatnot…. keep Ubaldo!!!

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: re: Ubaldo/too good/too happy. TOO FUNNY.

    @mrbaseball: Don’t trade him unless you get a TOP hitter (1st rounder or 1st/2nd best at some/not all positions).

  100. Mitch says:

    @Arthur O:
    Cabrera is out tonight. I’m even more confident now that Romero dominates. It’s Shin-Soo Choo versus the world. The Indians line-up is garbage.

    Anyway, which 2 of Morales, Sandoval, Zimmerman?

    And Lind or CarGo?

  101. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Mitch: Sandoval, Zimmerman… CarGo looks like he’ll outproduce him, but he’s a bit riskier.

  102. El Burro says:

    @ grey – thanks, appreciate the take. I thought Reimold would be much better than advertised, but his heel and wear/ tear is still lingering. Im worried Freese is flash in el pan and I hate jumping on that this early, but hes hitting 5th in a solid line-up and been producing quite well. Reimold seems like fodder, so Im ok with it. Wouldnt surprise me to see him Freese put up #’s similar to what I thought Reimold’s line would look like this year — 85/20/80/10 .290. You project the same?

  103. Kazmere says:

    Orlando Hudson v Willis or McGehee v @Kershaw?

  104. bobbo says:

    Trust Wainwright tonight in Philly? He didn’t look so hot against them last year. I know he’s a stud, but….

  105. sean says:

    @bobbo: Your aces can’t be matchup pitchers. Your back end is for matchups. You have to take whatever your aces give you.

  106. Wizo says:

    my Coles Hamels for his Josh Hamilton? have loads of pitching depth

  107. longbeachyo says:

    Watch… now that I benched Matusz he’ll throw a one-hitter against the FREAKIN’ Yankees! That’s just my luck…

  108. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Wizo: That’s fair.

    @longbeachyo: Yeah, I wouldn’t worry about that.

  109. mrbaseball says:

    I must have drafted the wrong players – I am 1 – 10 on my teams in hitting so far

    I quess I should have drafted these players who already got hits for tonight

    F. Lewis-M. Grudzielanek – T. Hafner – J. Bautista-J. Baker -A. LaRoche -R. Bernadina – R. Hanigan-A. Pagan-M. Downs

  110. sifl says:

    I have pitching depth and am looking for a replacement for Granderson – what do you think of my Oswalt for his Robot Jones? What about Jered Weaver for his Robot?

  111. mrbaseball says:

    With all the hitters the Yankees have – this is how they scored their run

    R. Pena grounded out to shortstop, F. Cervelli scored

  112. Eddy says:

    Man, I was looking forward to watching Lincecum for the first time this year against the Marlins. 4 IP an 9 Ks later, I want him to go away :(

  113. Buge Hoobs says:

    Is it just me or does Cervelli look like the Great Gazoo in the batter’s box?

    He just took one in the nads making a nice catch for the third out though.

  114. Maitland says:

    @Mann of Sandd: I like Omar more for the starting rotation. Definitely an innings eater, 200+. Now, Brother Mouzone seems like the type of dude who could come in and close a game out cold and calculated.

  115. Buge Hoobs says:

    Anybody else read lips? Looks to me like Cervelli just got to third again and greeted Tejada with a big ol’, “Hi, Dumb-Dumb!”

    Hmm … these Kays got me thinking now … maybe Cervelli over Napoli??

  116. penpen says:

    Anybody watching Romero tonight? Second time through the lineup they really got a bead on him.

  117. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Buge Hoobs: I think he asked Tejada where he gets his HGH. Napoli over him.

  118. Grey

    Grey says:

    @penpen: Yeah, saw a bit of it.

  119. penpen says:

    @Grey: His changeup did look pretty amazing for a while there. It’s a downer though when he wild pitches all his little dinky walks and singles into doubles and triples.

  120. mrbaseball says:

    my hitting is looking so bad – I am thinking of picking up The Hairston Brothers

  121. BKK says:

    @penpen: He still managed 8 K’s so far thru 5.

  122. Bill Lumbergh says:

    @Grey: OK, same owner just offered me his Scherzer for my Jhoulys Chacin. Again this is a 12 team H2H dynasty league. Chacin is currently occupying one of my “Minors” roster spots, so I’ll have to drop Gio to clear up a roster spot (would have to make a move anyway since Chacin has been called up). Thoughts on this offer? You ‘da man!

  123. Eddy says:

    Interesting note: Evan Meek has already pitched an inning in the game and it’s still in the 7th. Looks like they’re standing true to their word with Dotel remaining closer. For now.

  124. Grey

    Grey says:

    @penpen: Yup

    @mrbaseball: Hehe

    @Bill Lumbergh: You’re taking on someone else’s headache, not crazy about it, but in a dynasty league I could see it if you’re ready to not play Max for a bit.

    @Eddy: Thanks for the heads up!

  125. john says:

    @Grey: I’m thinking with tonight’s performance, Ervin has earned himself a ‘Start until he blows up’ status.

  126. Martin says:

    @grey- would you trade scott baker for rasmus and clay buckholtz? I would then have to drop DLR, Cueto, Cecil, Capps, or Fragu.

  127. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    I’m curious, Grey… do you own Gordon Bencham in any leagues? If so, how much more leash are you planning on allowing him? I own him in 7 of the 9 leagues I’m in and have my own idea on how much more of this I can stomach, but I’m curious to read another perspective.

  128. Eddy says:

    What’s up with Cole Hamels either having bad games, or games where he pitches into the 8th and still doesn’t get run support? And what happened to Boston’s 17 runs from last night? A couple more couldn’t trickle over into Lester’s start? Ugh.
    @Awesomus Maximus:
    I’ve been meaning to say thanks for bringing “The King of Kong”, “Word Play” and “FantasyLand” to light in one of the comments you made a while ago. Loved loved loved King of Kong since I’m an avid gamer and FantasyLand was just superb. Great stuff, thanks for the heads up.

  129. Tom Emanski says:

    Grey, I find your lack of faith in Sniderman disturbing

  130. Tom Emanski says:

    @Awesomus Maximus: 7 of 9?! I thought having him in one of my two was bad enough. He’s really frustrating.

  131. Eddy says:

    Currently got a 1.12 ERA and 1.02 WHIP. Sparkling SP for me tonight, albeit devoid of a couple of well-deserved wins. Do you think Kershaw will keep the ball rolling vs. Mil?

  132. Grey

    Grey says:

    @john: I’d say that’s fair, though I don’t like guys going against the Yankees.

    @Martin: Sure, drop Cueto.

    @Awesomus Maximus: In one league, he’s been benched indefinitely. It’s a 20 team league too, so the choices aren’t great.

  133. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Eddy: Hope so. My pitching has been insane today too.

  134. Eddy says:

    Yea, looks like the calendar flip to May has done nothing but good. If I HAD to ask for one hitter and one SP to get it going, it’d have to be Adam Jones and Wandy. Other than that, I can’t complain too much.

  135. BKK says:

    Do you think Toronto could use their DH for 1B?

  136. @Grey:

    Mine has too. I’m waiting for Kersh to come ruin my WHIP still tho.

  137. 0.42 ERA, 1.22 WHIP, 18 K in 21 IP, not too shabby.

  138. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Elijah: 22 1/3 IP, 0.81 ERA, 1.12 WHIP and 24 Ks.

  139. mrbaseball says:

    @Awesomus Maximus – I own him in 7 of the 9 leagues Gordon Bencham – I quess it could be worse – someone wanted him worse than you in the other two leagues – I would wait them out and then you can own him in all 9 leagues – that would be the right thing to do

  140. mrbaseball says:

    Hey Awesomus Maximus be the first in your league to own The Hairston Brothers

  141. @Grey:

    Lovely!! Kershaw seems to do better at home so we got that going.

  142. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @Eddy: Not a problem, glad you enjoyed them.

    @Tom Emanski: Yeah, seemed to always get him at (what I thought was) a good price in my auctions, especially given the 2B/3B eligibility looming.

    @Grey: Hrm… the other options in a 20-teamer certainly makes it a lot easier to hold him. I own him in 10-teamers, so I have options aplenty, but I’m not buying into the “pitchers have the book on him” rap I’ve been reading. I keep thinking, “Today is the day he turns it around”, but those days are adding up. Of course, as I write this he’s 1/1 with 2 BB and a SB, so today actually could finally be that day.

  143. bobbo says:

    Is Heyward a beast, or what? He’s getting intentionally walked in the 5th inning. Sheesh.

  144. William says:

    @Grey – I’ve been giving you crap about Ervin Santana all day. I bow down to you tonight sir.

  145. Leadoff walks! Hurrah!

  146. mrbaseball says:

    Oswalt vs Kennedy tonight it kind of like 1963 all over again

  147. Juan Guiterrez still pitching setup btw.

  148. Tom Emanski says:

    Are Borbon and Carlos Lee going to turn it around. They got dropped in my 18 team league. I could drop Blanks for one of them.

  149. Josh says:

    @Grey: When I said Price or Kershaw for Upton or Werth I meant Justin Upton. You still would take Werth for Price over Upton?

  150. GopherDay says:

    Its becoming tradition for fans to charge the Phillies now!!

  151. GopherDay says:

    And I’m loving Jose Contreras’ rogue win!

  152. Eddy says:

    Wow, Kershaw, really? I don’t know what in the world compelled me to start him today. Christ, he’s such a mess!

  153. Kershaw killing me. Argh,

  154. penpen says:

    @mrbaseball: LOL holy crap that’s too good to be true! PLUS the game is in Texas; that’s too much. Strangely, I was watching Seinfeld last night and caught “The Boyfriend”.

  155. BKK says:


  156. @Elijah:

    There goes my entire good day, crap.

  157. Eddy says:

    Wait, how come all those Kershaw runs are unearned?

  158. penpen says:


  159. Tom Emanski says:


  160. mrbaseball says:

    Kennedy wins the rematch over Oswalt

    1 – 0 – the only run in the game was by

    J. Upton shot over the grassy knoll deep center

  161. Eddy says:

    Ah ok, Yahoo just hasn’t given his ERA the finishing blow then. ESPN has.

    Shit, that could cost me the week man. Ridiculous.

  162. mrbaseball says:

    @penpen Says:yea I notice the game was in Texas –

  163. Tony says:

    can i have some backing on DROPPING jose lopez from seattle? ughh disgusting, took the dude in the 10th rd of my rcl i think….

    i could plug in adam rosales or orlando hudson?

    or slide wiggy into that slot, and snag up a 3B/1B….

    Kouz, jose bautista, casey blake…. bleh, not alot of options, but are ANY of these better than jose lopez or should i wait it out….

    I could also drop Juan Rivera and BENCH J. Lopez til he MAYBE turns it around?

  164. At least they took him out before it was a total disaster hah

  165. knighttown says:

    Berkman + Pelfrey for Kershaw too much?

  166. knighttown says:

    O-Dog or Alexei at MI?

  167. penpen says:

    @mrbaseball: Upton hits a bullet to center… it’s going back, back, back (and to the left)… it’s gone!

  168. BKK says:

    @Eddy: Looks like I’ll be streaming to try and save it now!

    Several teams going

    Hamels x 3 – check
    Oswalt x 3 – check
    Santana – bench – check
    Lincecum – check
    Burnett – Check
    Kershaw x 2 – Screws a beauty outing by cole on both teams where co-owned. KERSHARRRGH!!

  169. GopherDay says:

    Vladdy with a Grand Salamy….I’m hungry now…someone make me a sandwhich!!!

  170. struggler says:

    I wish Kershaw was a candidate stuck on that sinking sub so that present day Kershaw couldn’t make tonights start.

  171. Eddy says:

    Well the bright side for you is that you had enough good pitching tonight that it softened the blow a bit.

    My decision to go with Kershaw over Ubaldo in the draft gets magnified more and more every time Ubaldo goes out and annihilates and Kershaw answers with 17 BBs.

  172. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    On the plus side, Kershaw only gave up two walks.

  173. mauledbypandas says:

    glad I rolled the dice on Ervin, not so much on Kershaw. Who knew the mighty Brewers would beat him like a red-headed stepchild?

  174. Eddy says:

    @Awesomus Maximus:
    Not sure if there’s sarcasm there lol. He only pitched 1.1 innings so yea…

  175. Kazmere says:

    @Grey: Grey, why no love for O-Dog? Swinging a hot bat, SBs, good average.

  176. Eddy says:

    I haven’t even seen season 6 yet, and if that’s a Lost reference to that season, I’m going to be pretty ticked!

  177. Tom Emanski says:

    @Grey: Do you think Borbon could be sent down or won’t get enough steals batting down in the order to have value, or just that Lee will be better? I do need steals. I have to use my waiver priority on the right one.

  178. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @Eddy: Heh… yeah, I own Kershaw in one roto league, so I’m aware. The damage he just did is going to take about 10 quality starts to undo.

    @struggler: Really? You needed to crowbar spoilers for a show that many haven’t seen yet for that weak reference? I’m more annoyed with you right now than I am with Kershaw.

  179. GopherDay says:

    @struggler: @Grey: Yeah, that goes along the lines of a Lost spoiler…Pretty good episode tonight! Too bad Kershaw’s start wasn’t as good!!! I have the same sentiments as you on the part of the sub!

  180. @Grey:

    So where are we at with Kershaw right now? Hold, sell, or just bang my head on the desk and moan?

  181. Longoria cheering me up with another Donk at least.

  182. GopherDay says:

    @Awesomus Maximus: Its everyone on the west coasts fault!! Y’all need to move east!! At least to like Mid-West…Don’t you know California is going to fall off the ocean???

  183. Eddy says:


    Make sure it’s not a metal desk.
    @GopherDay: @Awesomus Maximus:

    Out of all the places to have a Lost episode ruined, Razzball was one of the last ones I’d imagined. I hope I have a random bout of amnesia when I watch it on DVD in a few months.

  184. GopherDay says:

    @Eddy: To be fair, I did not ruin anything!! I just confirmed that something was in fact a spolier. It was a rather weak reference though.

  185. Tom Emanski says:

    @Elijah: I’d hold, but if you want to sell then check your league’s draft results and see who might have wanted him badly but had to settle for someone else. Like me, I wanted him badly but had to take Garza instead. Needless to say, I’m happy.

  186. Eddy says:

    Naw I’m not blaming you. And it probably was, but my friend told me that the latest episode evoked a certain emotion (won’t say it to prevent any further spoiling), which led me to believe one thing, which is probably true.

    Boy that sounded vague.

  187. Nathan says:

    The more I watch this season of Lost, the more I hope that Terry O’Quinn (Locke) goes on to have a very successful acting career. He delivers every single episode.

  188. GopherDay says:

    @Eddy: That was kind of vague….

    And keeping it vague, this episode didn’t really make me emote any emotion. (Like that makes any sense, right?) It wasn’t like clicking for me, but it didn’t raise any more questions, there was one part that evicted some emotion (Still staying vague). This is confusing everyone probably. I’ll stop now.

  189. Nathan says:

    Speaking of Lost, David Wright all of a sudden looks like a legit candidate… for 30/30 .

  190. GopherDay says:

    @Nathan: He’s like a billion years old!!! No! Wait thats Alpert!! No, he’s like in his thirtys…Gah!!! I’m confusing myself!!!

    Who would think that a Lost conversation would start at a Fantasy Baseball website?

  191. BKK says:

    @Eddy: Fortunately, I don’t have him on the team in Tony’s league who I am H2H with this week (he is a little steamed), but fair enough, on another H2H team my ERA 5.4 and WHIP is 1.7. It will take a bunch of clean innings this week to clean that mess up. My Roto team is taking a beating between him Cueto and Hamels start.

  192. Curly Day says:

    Garza or Wainwright for the rest of the year, who would you rather have?

  193. DrEasy says:

    Can I drop Jose Lopez for Juan Pierre? I got the providential Kelly Johnson manning 2B, and I need some steals.

  194. @Tom Emanski:

    I sold in one league early on and got Haren for Kersh+R Soriano. That deal seems pretty good atm. I don’t think hes worth much to sell, but I don’t really trust him to start him right now either.

  195. Kazmere says:

    Anyone have any news on Fowler? Just picked him up for SB, but this is probably going to slow him down.
    ***Dexter Fowler is out of the lineup on Tuesday with a sprained ankle.

  196. Tom Emanski says:

    @Elijah: Good trade. Make sure to trade Haren after the break. Last year I traded Haren for Wainwright straight up and got an absolutely dominant season out of that roster spot after Wainwright finished strong.

  197. Eddy says:

    On another entertainment (but somewhat baseball related) note, someone through a perfect game in MLB 2K10 and submitted the video proof. Why does this matter?

    He just won $1,000,000.

    They’ll appear tomorrow on The Early Show

  198. Tom Emanski says:

    I see Dotel Rwanda got the save with only a walk given.

  199. GopherDay says:

    @Eddy: Dang!! Awesome!!! For them…Haha!! Who’d they pitch? Lincy?

  200. penpen says:

    @Curly Day: As a Garza owner, it’s gotta be Wainwright. Pitches in the NL, has a more proven track record, and he’s off to a stronger start than last year.

  201. penpen says:

    @Curly Day: Garza’s upside is probably Wainwright-level, but who knows if he gets there this year.

  202. Josh says:

    @Grey: After tonight’s start should I still prefer to keep Kershaw instead of Price? Dude got rocked.

  203. Howard says:

    When did the Yankees trade Vasquez to the Dodgers for Kershaw?

  204. Eddy says:

    Not sure, they’ll probably reveal it tomorrow. In the week or so that I had time to invest hours in that game though, it was clear to me that Ubaldo was probably the best SP to play as. He reaches 100 and Lincy only reaches about 94-95.

    That’d be pretty ironic if he did use Ubaldo though lol

  205. @Tom Emanski:

    Yeah I was supposed to have Dotel benched too, oh well that worked out. At least one team had a great pitching day. Kennedy, Hamels, and clean saves from the Brain Freeze Boys Dotel and Qualls.

  206. mc serch says:

    @Mojo the Helper Monkey: yeah i knew that…major bb faux paux on my part…got the adams mixed up.

  207. GopherDay says:

    @Eddy: Yeah, I don’t have a 360 or a PS3, so I’m kind of out of luck when it comes to that. But I’ve played it a couple of times. It would be ironic though.

  208. mrbaseball says:

    For those of you who play yahoo –

    Looks like Yahoo changed the graphics and messed up the functionality in the process. Brilliant move making the change during the evening games

    to make lineup changes – make the changes you want but instead of hitting the Submit button hit the cancel button – it seems to work untill Yahoo figures this out

  209. DrEasy says:

    @mrbaseball: Yeah, and the new graphics don’t even look all that good. Why mess up with what they had?

  210. GopherDay says:

    @mrbaseball: Hmmm…works fine for me. Weird

    @Everyone: I think I know the answer to this, but which side of this trade do you prefer?

    I give: Robinson Cano and Ryan Zimmerman

    I get: Tex and Wright

    I’ll move Kelly Johnson would take over 2B with a lineup shuffle that won’t really affect anything. I’m leaning towards taking it, but what do y’all think? Is Cano’s hot start worth keeping?

  211. Tom Emanski says:

    @GopherDay: Even though Johnson will cool off, you gotta do that trade.

  212. penpen says:

    @GopherDay: gotta make that trade

  213. penpen says:

    Ugh, Shields, quit shining and grant me some goddamn schadenfraude.

  214. GopherDay says:

    @Tom Emanski: @penpen: Its kind of that bitter sweet deal, if you know what I mean. These players have kept you going for so long, but the right deal comes along and BAM!

  215. penpen says:

    @GopherDay: yeah, I hear ya, feels a little cold, trading up and trading in

  216. Steve says:

    @penpen: I hear ya. This is what I traded for last year. Not the crap he continually dished up.

  217. penpen says:

    @Steve: yes! there are many of us on that boat and it is a resentful boat

  218. pubscoot says:

    Chances No Way Jose sticks as closer in Philly? I’m feelin’ it for some reason. Is it b/c I own him?

  219. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Kazmere: Good average, but he’ll cool down, he doesn’t offer anything else.

    @Elijah: You can’t sell him after that thrashing.

    @pubscoot: Bleh

  220. Gubbins says:

    Question for people who care about holds: Why didn’t Wuertz’s outing today get scored as a hold? I can’t work it out.

  221. DrEasy says:

    Kershaw + Morales = Another Bullshit Night in Suck City

  222. dean says:

    hey i have a question about Mark Reynlds. its his 3rd full year in the league and i’ve been trying to get an idea for what babip means to a players sucess. i figured out that reynolds career babip is 354 in those 3 years. obviously this is high and probably hard to repeat, but what if he only strikes out 180 ties this season? Is it possible that if he can sustain a number near his career babip or even more like a 310-320 that he could hit 280-290 with 40 homers and 100 rbis? can somone give me an answer?

    ps: its also fun to say babip like a word instead of spelling t out.

  223. charlie batch says:

    Missed you grey. Even so, Im a little surprised with the lack of Wade Leblanc coverage. Did I miss the memo? With that said, please pick one: Leblanc, Brandon Morrow, Masterson, Wade Davis.

  224. Terrence Mann says:

    @dean: Wondered about this, too. In the preseason predictions, there was a joke about Shin Soo Choo having telekinesis which affected his BABIP favorably.

    But once again this season, Soo Choo is among the BABIP leaders. Maybe guys like Reynolds and Soo Choo are just better at hitting the ball in holes?

  225. Yeah. Just was frustrated.

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