I’m a tad worried about theĀ comments this headline may generate, so maybe I should explain: this isn’t aĀ Classified ad, butĀ an ode toĀ Chris Sale. Because todayĀ The Condor, a.k.a. the Jersey Slasher, takes the mound with his stupid-low 1.92 ERA and 73 Ks in 52 IP. If this were any other pitcher, I might offer a caveat that this start versus the Rays takes place at Fenway, but Saleās been better at home (1.50 ERA in 4 starts at home versus 2.49 in 3 starts away). And Tampa has not: their road BA is .210, versus .265 at home (apparently theyāre the only team that knows how to play at the bloody Trop). This is also tasty because TampaĀ does not do well against lefties.Ā I expect them to go quietly against Sale. That said, on FanDuel today, weāre pretty much going to have sell ourselves on a street corner to be able to afford Sale (especially ifĀ youāre earning Canadian dollars!).
So if youāre not into what Chris is selling, itās also a Rockies-at-home weekend, Fact Fans! If I were a lazier girl, Iād say āif you donāt want to pay up for Sale, just stack every Colorado bat you canā and cut this post short, but that would just not be cricket (if it were cricket, Iād be watching a five-day-long game involving men wearing white trousers with red smears on their crotches, whichā¦ You know, I kind of miss cricket). And there are several tasty Miami-Atlanta match-ups today, too, so Iām gonna try squeezing some Dodgers, Mariners and Marlins into my lineup. Letās see how I got onā¦
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Hereās the FanDuel lineup Iāve entered for Saturday, 13 May (GPP, 1:05 All-Day):
P Chris Sale, $11,800
C Stephen Vogt, $2,500
1B Cody Bellinger, $4,100
2B DJ LeMahieu, $3,300
3B David Freese, $2,500
SS Darwin Barney, $2,200
OF Tommy Pham, $2,700
OF Magneuris Sierra, $2,400
OF J.D. Martinez, $3,300
Here’sĀ a quick breakdown on why Iāve done what Iāve done, and some other options:
Chris Sale, SP: $11,800 ā I think I pimped myself out enough for this guy in the lede. Even at $11,800, Iām still rolling with him because pitching is kind of tough today. There’s Chris Sale… and then there’s everyone else. After Sale, Stream-o-Nator likes Matt Moore at home versus Cincinnati (a pretty big drop from Chris Saleās SON$36 [thatās Stream-o-Nator dollars!] down to SON$19, though), and then it looks to Ricky Nolasco (an even bigger plunge to SON$8), whoās pitching at home versus Detroit, which is … nice stadium, possibly tough team? However, note that as I’m doing myĀ ritual tweaking-of-the-post early on Saturday, last night’s postponementsĀ have thrown things up in the air a little (there’s some debate over who will pitch for the Nats today: will it be Scherzer [oooh!] or Roark [nah!]?), so you may have other options. But from where I sit right now, if you steer clear of Sale, Iād go Matt Moore ($7,600).
Yadier Molina, C: $3,200 ā True story: Back in 2011, I gave Yadierās brother JosĆ©, then-catcher for the Blue Jays, his Twitter name. He was in the hunt for a handle, and I tossed out ā@joeycatch8,ā a stupid play on @joeybats19, but he liked it. Iāve always had a soft spot for anything Molina, and thatās bolstered today, with Yadiās 10 for 24 numbers against Jon Lester.
Victor Martinez, C: $3,100 ā Say it with me, kids: āHey FanDuel, VMart is not a catcher.ā But heās amassed a decent 8 hits in 20 ABs versus Ricky Nolasco in his career, so he could be worth a look. And this price aināt half bad.
Stephen Vogt, C: $2,500 ā This is my āIām punting catcher!ā choice. Heās not going to make the earth move for me, Iām aware. But you know, given his price and the fact that Hittertron likes him 5th-best for catcher today, and that his matchup is in Texas where the ball may actually go somewhere (as opposed to at home), this may not be horrible? And that was another Ringing Endorsementā¢ from VictoriaB.
Cody Bellinger, 1B: $4,100 ā Today Cody Bellinger and his come-hither stare head to Coors and Iām all-adrool. Heās been hitting ever since he was called up, and itās a nice lefty-righty match-up versus poor Jordan Lyles, who sports a 7.98 ERA. (Sidebar: Do you ever imagine pitchers standing in front of the Coors clubhouse mirror pregame, staring sadly at themselves and repeating the mantra, āItās just 6, 7 innings, maybe 8 if weāre lucky. Itās like 3 hours of our life, then we can go get ice cream.ā? Because I do.)
Starlin Castro, 2B: $3,700 ā I feel like I mention my Darlinā Castro every other week, perhaps because he just wonāt stop hitting. Iām especially hoping he keeps it going in Yankee Stadium today against Mike Fiers, whom heās seen well in the past.Ā Annnnnd as of Saturday morning, the Astros-Yankees game has been postponed, so I give you my Starlin-Fiers blurb as a freebie for your Sunday DFS instead. But for today,Ā try DJ LeMahieuĀ who, at $3,300, is weirdly cheap for Colorado.
Dee Gordon, 2B: $3,400 ā Hereās the next installment in the fabled East Coast throwdown (hint: not really a thing)āthe Atlanta-to-Miami match-up I was rambling on about earlier. If you’re not tempted by LeMahieu, Dee Gordon hasĀ a 7 for 23 history versus Julio Teheran, and if he can get on base, he’s always a threat to steal.
Devon Travis, 2B: $2,300 ā So I know Devonās numbers so far this year are aā¦ Travisty. Heās been a deep barrel-scrape you might look to just because heās cheap. But that said! You know I watch the Jays pretty much every day (woohoo! Iām officially outed as having no life!), and I can say that slowly but surely, Greyās former novio is starting to get it together. Also, at time of writing, we donāt even know whoās pitching for the Mariners versus the Jays today, but those poor bastardsāfour-fifths of their starting rotation are on the DLāare not going to be calling up an ace, are they. If whoever they do put on the mound happens to be a lefty, do not stop, do not pass go, put Devon in yer lineup. (Or any Jay, for that matter.)
Nolan Arenado, 3B: $4,900; Justin Turner, 3B: $4,000 ā 3B is a tough one today, I find. These two are your obvious Coors bats, so if you can afford them, have at āer. But Iām being cheap AF and going withā¦
David Freese, 3B: $2,500 ā Activated in the nick of time for my DFS write-up, Freese boasts tiny-sample-size-but-suits-my-purposes-because-this-price-is-dirt-cheap-for-a-3B-help-now-Iām-stuck-in-a-hyphen-train numbers of 4 for 7 versus Taijuan Walker, and this is in Arizona, to boot. So come on in, David, the waterās fine.
Jean Segura, SS: $3,800 ā Iāve been watching Johnny Safe (or Johnny Safeco, perhaps?) for a couple of days now in the Jays-Mariners series and heās been terrific (in fact, heās 14 for 30 over the last 7 days). Heās been performing well even at home (.448), so wind him up, set him down in hitter-friendly Rogers Centre and watch him go. Also, he might have faced Marcus Stroman only once, but he is 3 for 4 (and I want to add that I adore Stro and am rooting for him, but he hasn’t passed the eye test in his last couple of startsāhe might have looked good on paper, but he was saved by great defense last time out. If he can force ground balls, OK, but also note you’re not going to get a ton of KsĀ out of him). So thereās that.
Freddy Galvis, SS: $3,200 ā Iād kind of forgotten this guy existed until Grey mentioned him in his buy/sell column on Friday (and he told a splendid joke! The boss giveth, and then he giveth some more). This is a pretty solid match-up against Gio Gonzalez: Galvis is 10 for 38 against him lifetime, with 2 HRs, at a decent price.
Darwin Barney, SS: $2,200 ā Thereās no guarantee heās going to play today against the Marinersā PTBNL, but if he does, definitely give him a look. Heās not going to give you power, but at this price, weāre OK with a hit or two and an empty average (heās currently sitting at .303), right, kids?
Marcell Ozuna, OF: $4,000 ā OZUNAĀ mash Teheran 15 for 36, 3 HR. OZUNA like being homeāOZUNA hit .396 dere so far dis year. OZUNA no know why we always make him talk like dis.
Matt Kemp, OF: $3,900 ā Is it just me, or are there some players you never seem to hear about, so youāre surprised to see theyāre just quietly getting on with it? Matt Kemp is one such: I seem to have missed the memo about him slashing .339/.369/.613. Couple this with a 7 for 16 match-up history versus Edinson Volquez, going down at Turner field, and I’d definitelyĀ let Matt get me all unKempt. Ooh er, missus! (I seriously do not know whatās happening to me today. I think it must be spring.)
Christian Yelich, OF: $3,400 ā Hmm, Iām feeling a little Yel-ich for Christianās 11 for 34 history versus Julio Teheran. He may be sitting on a really average .258 average for May thus far, but heās done something every day.
J.D. Martinez, OF $3,300: Just Dong is baaaa-accck. And he’s 9 for 24 lifetime versus Ricky Nolasco. He’s in a bad hitter park today and he may still be finding his groove, but these are nice match-up numbers at a good price.
Tommy Pham, OF: $2,700 ā More like Tommy Bam, amirite? At least I hope heāll continue to bam today, as Iām playing him in part because Iām running out of money right now. Ha. Ha. But seriously, this should be a good lefty-righty situation, versus Jon Lesterāactually, Tommyās hitting anyone in a pretty equal-opportunity fashion.
Magneuris Sierra, OF: $2,400 ā I cannot believe that more mothers have not named their children āMagneurisā. I also cannot believe that this Magneuris beast is priced a mere $2,400. In 4 games in his big-league career (also known as āthis weekā), heās shown he can get on base, and when he does, he has plenty of ability to steal. Check that heās in the lineup, but if he is, play him.
Lastly, before we go to the weather report, I’m giving a quick Queen-Victoria-on-a-baseball cap H/T to my boy, Dr. Easy, for todayās post title.
Really lastly, a reminder to buy yer mama/baby mama some flowers tomorrow! (Razzball, where “DFS” stands for “Damn, that’s Full Service”.)
Iām Only Happy When It Rains
So I’m staring at the weather report, which says “no likely delays or postponements”, but as previously mentioned, the Astros-Yankees game has been postponed. Welp. You’ll want to keep an eye on the east coast weather today, methinks.
Doing Lines In Vegas
The Red Sox are the favorites to beat the Rays at -195, and the Giants are -149 over Cincinnati (those are your aforementioned Sale and Moore starts, respectively). The slimmest oddsāand thus possibly most interesting to watchāare for Oakland over Texas at -101.