Am I suggesting that you start Dustin May (FD $8,300/DK $8,200) today just so I could use the Happy Gilmore quote? It definitely went into consideration, and in one of my recent articles I recommended you Triston McKenzie, so I didn’t want to keep pushing him on you. Corey Kluber is always a Streamonator call, and the bot likes Kluber today, but I don’t. Max Fried is having a great year, but the Phillies are 4th in MLB in OPS vs LHPs. So it boiled down to a) who’s pitching for the Dodgers?, b) wait he’s pitching in San Francisco?, c) against a bottom-third OPS team vs RHPs at home? I didn’t even have to give you the d). Wait, that doesn’t sound quite right. OK, the d) is Ks.

May has a top-5 fastball velo in MLB, along with a 30% CSW%, is top-10 in HC%, and a Z-Con% that’s almost 8% better than the MLB average, which means he’s basically throwing you nasty stuff in the zone and you still can’t hit it. He’s struggled his last two outings with control, which has led to him giving up a few extra ER. Do the Giants and their cavernous park scare anybody? With the Dodgers already clinching almost everything clinchable, does May pitch free and easy and just decide to throw nothing but cheddar cookies and say “Go ahead and try to hit it, G-men?” It’s May Day in September and I’m feeling Happy.

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Lucas Giolito, SP: FD $9,000/DK $7,800 – Jeimer Candelario, Jonathan Schoop, Akil Baddoo and Javier Baez all crush Gio in head-to-head matchups over their careers, with none of them batting lower than .300 against him. Rookies Riley Greene and Spencer Torkelson are both hitting over .300 in the last week. Gio has spent the entire 2022 campaign dogwiping all over your staff’s ratios. So why am I including him here? Because he’s Streamonator’s 2nd-ranked SP today and the Tigers have been shut out 21 times this season. TWENTY-ONE TIMES. 

J.T. Realmuto, C: FD $3,300/DK $6,500 – Not only has Realmuto been the most valuable C the last seven days according to the Razzball Player Rater, but he’s also facing Max Fried, who he’s tuned up to the, uhh…tune of three HRs and a .355 career average over 31 ABs.

Josh Naylor, 1B: FD $2,700/DK $4,200 – Naylor? I barely know her! As if that’s ever stopped me. Anyway, Naylor has more caught-stealings (1) than HRs (0) the past week, but that doesn’t stop Hittertron from recommending him against Josh Winder and the Twins today. Vladdy and Goldy are the usual top two 1B picks, but after them, the bucket of bolts says to roster Naylor.

Tommy Edman, 2B: FD $3,600/DK SS-only – He isn’t at the top of Hittertron’s picks for today, but you only have to look past one name to get to Edman, Hittertron’s 2nd-ranked bat. Edman is hitting .400 the last week with three bags, and he’s been hitting in the lead-off or #2 spot in the order every game lately. You want DFS guys who will accrue ABs for extra opportunities to score for you, so Edman in front of Au Shizz, Tornado, Pujols, etc should be enough to excite you, and facing Justin Dunn should send you into the good shakes.

Matt Chapman, 3B: FD $2,500/DK $4,700 – You wouldn’t need oven mitts to hold Chat Mapman lately, but when he sees Jordan Lyles on the mound, you may want to have them handy. In 19 ABs against Lyles, Chapman has gone yard four times.

Bobby Witt Jr, SS: FD $3,800/DK $5,400 – BWJ is Hittertron’s top-rated SS (if you aren’t playing Edman at SS), and it’s easy to see why today as he faces Michael Wacha in Fenway. Julio Rodriguez is getting all of the hype, deservedly so, and Adley Rutschman has been impactful for the Orioles, but what the season Witt’s having is deserving of legitimate attention too. When is too early to draft him in 2023? Third round?

Tommy Pham, OF: FD $3,400/DK $4,600 – Hittertron loves the BOS/KC matchup in Fenway today, with Raffy Devers and Xander Bogaerts also getting the mechanical love. I’ll go with Pham here since I don’t feel nervous that one of the other guys will slap me if I don’t pick them.

Juan Soto, OF: FD $2,700/DK $5,100 – I don’t care how badly he’s struggled since the trade; if FanDuel is going to put him at that price, I’ll take my chances every single day.

Cedric Mullins, OF: FD $3,100/DK $5,200 – Cedric the Hittertainer is seven for his last 15, with a HR and a bag, and may get to tee off for the Birds against righty Trevor Richards. Meaningful baseball for Baltimore means Ceddy bringing it all for your DFS teams today.


I’m Only Happy When It Rains

I’ve been leaning on @BallparkWeather all season and it says everybody’s got a green light today/tonight–play ball!


Doing Lines In Vegas

Detroit is terrible at giving up first inning runs, and as mentioned above, they’ve been shut out 21 times this year. Let’s bang CHW at +110 to score first *AND* win. If you’re feeling bold, go CHW +225 at -1.5 run line and over 7.5 total runs. (all odds from Draftkings Sportsbook)