Brett Cecil appeared in the April 23rd version of the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell. I liked his strikeout stuff and thought he was up to the task. He secretly confided in me it was a lot of pressure on him. He never had a mustachioed man ask anything of him, at least not one that wasn’t wearing a raincoat and no pants. His WHIP sits at 0.77 through 20 2/3 innings. Thank you, can I bring you your slippers? He has 21 Ks. Yup, more than a strikeout per inning. Last night, he had a perfect game in the 7th inning and ended up going 8 innings, 1 ER and 10 Ks. He’s getting a bit lucky, but he’s worth owning in all twelve team leagues, while ten teamers should hover their grabby hands just over his name. Honey, could you bring me a Dr. Pepper? My grabby hands are busy, woman! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ryan Madson – Will have toe surgery after kicking a metal chair. The metal chair is day-to-day.
Joe Blanton – 6 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks. That looks like about what you’ll get from Blanton every time out. Give or take 1 earned run, according to 100 simulations run by a 100 monkeys dressed as William Shakespeare.
David Freese – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs. No one’s been hotter in the last week. Now has 3 homers in the last seven games and batting near .500.
Jaime Garcia – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks. If you’re bored at your job, Dave Duncan can turn you into a major league pitcher and help you win a Cy Young.
Cesar Valdez – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks vs. the Suck Asstros. Valdez is fine in NL-Only leagues because he should keep the ball down, but looks like he’ll be more valuable to the Diamondbacks than he will to your mixed league fantasy team.
Mike Pelfrey – Had an MRI for shoulder tightness, but he was cleared to start Friday. The MRI showed “pitched poor on Saturday vs. a good team” but “hopeful he’ll be better against” a “poor Giants offense.” Yes, MRI results read like a Zagat review.
Javier Vazquez – First bit of good news for Vazquez owners this year is the Yankees are skipping his turn in the rotation. There’s some taxi drivers rubbing their hands together hoping Javy gets into their cab.
Jorge Posada – Left the game with tightness in his right calf. His left calf sends its best. Posada’ll miss a few days.
Randy Winn – 1-for-3 with a 3-run homer. I was looking up his numbers yesterday making sure there was nothing to see here and there isn’t, but something did stand out to me. His age. How is he 35 years old? C’mon, doode looks like he’s 62. He was 35 when he starred opposite Billy Crystal in Running Scared.
Nick Swisher – 3-for-3, appeared in Friday’s Buy/Sell and is still hitting over .400 in the last seven days. ROTIOAOWAYSETWOASPAYOWTWH!
Mariano Rivera – Rivera joins Posada as the sore half of the core four. Rivera felt stiffness in side after Friday’s game. The Yankees withheld telling the media until yesterday. Don’t these people know The Star Ledger’s got papers to sell! It makes me a tad suspicious that the Yankees didn’t say anything about Rivera until yesterday. (BTW, Tad Suspicious is a character I adopt while playing Clue.) I’d absolutely grab Joba if he’s out there.
Adrian Beltre – 2-for-5 as he hit his first homer of the season. That puts him just off his pace from last year when he hit 8 homers.
Austin Jackson – 3-for-5 as he fell a homer short of the cycle. He’s now hitting .377. Okay, all I’m saying is his BABIP is .527, which means he could pop a bunt up to the catcher and it would fall for a hit.
Max Scherzer – 4 1/3 IP, 10 ER. Look around, the people who are standing are Scherzer owners. They can’t sit down.
Rich Harden – 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 9 Ks and most importantly no walks. Looked like vintage Harden, which is weird to say for a 28-year-old, but there ya go.
Frank Francisco – 1/3 IP, 2 ER. Two steps forward, one near blown save back.
Andruw Jones – Konerko has, like, 27 homers; Andruw Jones has 8 homers and 5 steals. In a sad twist of fate, they’re both going to be toddlers by the end of the season.