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Please see our player page for Cesar Valdez to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

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Hope everyone had an Ian Happy Memorial Day, only without that schmohawk and all the other Cubs. One, which would’ve been nice is Javier Baez (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 12th and 13th homer, hitting .260). At this point, I wouldn’t mind if all my hitters were as stingy at taking walks as Baez. Hey, Juan Soto, study the Baez TechniqueTM, which is literally swinging at everything. Embrace the unknown. Baez is like a BASE jumper. Instead, he practices the act of jumping on every pitch no matter where it is thrown. The BAEZ jumper. Also, in yesterday’s game, the Padres weren’t smart enough to avoid Patrick Wisdom (3-for-4 and a double slam (2, 3) and legs (1), hitting .467). I have dreams of streaming a guy who has a game as good as Wisdom, then I wake in the middle of the night, sweating and Cougs turns to me, “What are you dreaming of?” I reply, stoically, “Having Wisdom.” Then she asks, “Is that why you’re sleeping while wearing your monocle?” And I gently remove it and say, “No, I fell asleep looking for an ingrown hair.” If you streamed Wisdom, that’s just smart stuff, and, with Bote and Hoerner out, Wisdom might benefit with more play, like when you’re competing against an 6-year-old in a Math-off. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Explain to me how you had to draft a top ten starter and Freddy Peralta (7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.77) wasn’t going to be good enough. Explain it to me like I’m a five-year-old. A well-read five-year-old, of course. Like I’ve read some of the classics, like that caterpillar turning into the butterfly book and the Berenstain Bears (eat that, Mandela Effect!). Explain how a guy with a 14+ K/9 and 2.92 FIP isn’t exactly what you want in every league and is worse than who? Who’s he worse than?! I’m all charged up because I ate some candy. I’ll calm down by the third blurb of the post. Explain to me how Freddy Peralta with an .130 xBA on all pitches, which is the top 1% in the league, and a top 5% in the league xSLG, and a top 3% strikeout rate in the league is not an ace? Explain how an expected ERA of 2.21 isn’t an ace. I’ll wait! (After the third blurb, I’m still running on sugar.) Explain how a guy with a .115 xBA on his fastball isn’t an ace. Explain it! Okay, I’m not even going to make it to the third blurb, I need a nap. Freddy Peralta is an ace, aside from his walks. If he can lower his walk rate, he’s a top five starter. Right now, he’s roughly a top 15 starter. Get on board or explain to me why not! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s only appropriate that on Kentucky Derby weekend Minnesota rookie outfielder and hotshot phenom mega-prospect slash heartthrob Alex Kirilloff had a little home run derby of his own Friday night going 2-for-4 with his first two career home runs and four runs batted in. That deserves a second Mint Julep! Don’t mind if I do. Derby Day is all about waking up at 6AM and wearing your fanciest hat, only to wait around all day to watch a two-minute race that only a handful of people really understand. White people in the South dressing fancy and day-drinking?? Hmm, is this a racist thing? Are we sure it’s not a racist thing? Okay then if Gronk’s doing it, I’m picking Essential Quality to win big, mostly because that’s the only horse I know. But speaking of Essential Quality, let’s discuss Alex Kirilloff in case some of the hype faded after he went an uninspiring 3-for-26 with six strikeouts to start his major league career. “These things take time,” is a way you’d never hear a horse race described but could be true for a player like Alex. If you grabbed him last week when Grey told you to BUY or last November when you read his Alex Kiriloff fantasy, your patience is finally being rewarded. Here’s what Grey said about AK last week, “Alex Kirilloff could be Alex Verdugo from the moment he’s called up until the end of the season. Today, it’s all Alex talk. ‘Alexa, who’s more all Alex than other Alexes?'” That’s me quoting Grey, talking to a robot! And Alex Verdugo–wow, whata comp! I say that lovingly AND sarcastically, but the truth is the guys got pop and should hit for decent average. Think a 25-30 homer .275 average-type with a few steals thrown in to make you extra squee. If those look like numbers your team could utilize you’re not alone, and you’re in luck, Kirilloff is still available in over 60% of fantasy leagues and probably shouldn’t be. I’m going to toast my third mint julep at 8AM to the Twinkies, tip my fanciest sweat-stained baseball cap to Alex, and I’d add him everywhere I could. All bets are Kirilloff!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ah! My good and noble reader! It has been too long since last I regaled you with tales of my raising of an army for the RazzSlam!

Things are… not going well, I’m afraid.

With the injury to Austin Nola documented in my original missives, to the occasional negative-earning performance by Danny Jansen and the continued toiling on the farm of one Adley Rutschmann, I can on very few occasions secure scoring of any kind from both of my catcher positions. Which, given my unabashed and very public distaste for the role, brings me no shortage of rage.

I find myself, as of this writing, mired in 220th place, of 240 competitors. I do not intend, dear reader, to remain at such a mockable rank as this, and so I have turned my efforts to the mysterious legend that can save one and all from the fates of injury, demotion, and generally piss-poor performance.

Have you heard, then, of the legendary FAABidden Island?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Yabba Dabba Baddoo! Big Bad Baddoo Daddy! He’s a Baddoo Baddoo man! Who? Akil Baddoo, that’s who who. Whatchu gonna doo doo when Akil Baddoo comes for you you? You you have no answer because Baddoo makes the rooroo-ules. Don’t you you see see I’m Greybot3000 and and I am am malfunctioning…please oil my joints. Steam pours out of Greybot’s ears, slowly he falls over and puns mutter out onto the floor. Yikes, I might need a mechanic. So, Tigers have Grossman, the two outcome player leading off, then it just gets progressively worse until the 9th place hitter and Andre 3000’s ex namleganger, Baddoo. If I’m the Tigers, I’m staying the hell away from Joe Exotic, and I am not leaving Baddoo in the nine hole. Let my man sink or swim, and move him up to the three hole. He might be a hot schmotato, but he had a year at the tender age of 19 in Class A, where he hit 11 homers, and stole 24 bags. He’s never struggled with strikeouts, and actually could have a .360-ish OBP. With a 55-grade power tool and 60-grade speed, you might just sneak into a 25/20/.260 guy. Whatever the case, I grabbed him everywhere. Now let’s put on our pinstripe suit, patented leather shoes, and watch Big Bad Baddoo Daddy swing with their hit song, You & Me & Baddoo Makes 3. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome Back!  Week 1 is nearly in the books and what a wild ride it has been!  I like to describe Head to Head fantasy baseball as a long race with approximately 25 mini races along the way. The first leg of the race has been interesting, to say the least!  COVID tripped up the Nationals before they could get out of the gate. Yermin Mercedes went from 0-60 in 2 seconds flat!  Nate Lowe got out to a commanding RBI lead and if Fernando Tatis Jr was a racehorse, there would be rumblings about the glue factory.  Please don’t mistake my sense of humor, or lack thereof, for anything short of disappointment for the Padres, and for baseball in general.  I wish Tatis a speedy recovery!  He is just too good of a talent to go to waste.  Let’s turn our attention to Week 2 and which players are going to give you a leg up in your matchups!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Stephen Strasburg went 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 8 Ks. And, um. That’s roughly one-thousand percent surprising. Take every cat that’s every jumped out of a closet in a movie and put ’em together and you have a catomic bomb of shock and it’s less shocking than how well Strasburg pitched. Take the “I see dead people” twist and put it in The Crying Game “ding dong” twist and that’s nowhere nearly as surprising. Take a surprise party where the guest of honor has a heart attack and you have something, okay, about that surprising. Yet. Dot dot dot. Still don’t trust Strasburg. If you have him, then I wish you well, but it would not be me. Now I’m simply second-guessing whether or not my fears were for naught. By the way, try to say “naught” without sounding like you’re in a movie in South Boston with Ben Affleck. You simply cannot. “Where’s my munchkins?” “I went to Dunkies and they were out.” “Naught?” “Naught.” See what I mean? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The best haircut I ever received was from a bald man. I don’t usually get anything fancy — just a trim here, a buzz there. Throughout my life I went through all the same generational hair trends of men currently in their mid-30’s. As a pre-schooler in the early-90’s my Mom spiked my hair straight up a la Bart Simpson because who was cooler than the Bart man? Then in the mid-90’s, I transitioned to the Jonathan Taylor Thomas Home Improvement middle part because all the girls thought he was so cute. In the early 2000’s  I jumped on board the ‘Caesar’ bandwagon popularized by George Clooney in his ER/From Dusk Till Dawn days and that’s pretty much where I’ve remained. Low maintenance, good enough, it was “The Rachel” for men! Back to the point of this story — the bald man. Who better to appreciate hair than a bald man? I got out of his chair looking like a million bucks and the bald man was proud of his work. 

What does this have to do with fantasy baseball, you ask? In my 14-team home league, I’m punting saves. Correction — I’m punting saves + holds. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Baseball watchers are funny, right? Corbin Burnes (6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 11 Ks) was absolutely dazzling. I’m talking one of the best performances of the young season. Everyone was talking about him. Just filth and people wanted that filth rubbed in their eye balls. “Is that eye black?” “No, it’s Burnes’s filth. I applied it myself.” That was everyone. But why was no one talking about Jose Berrios? He matched Burnes, then one-upped him with a 6 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 12 Ks, performance. Is that, oh, I don’t know, as I pause here for emphasis, not good? Both of these guys were fantastic, but one of them gave up a home run to Byron Buxton, and one of them was Jose Berrios. Early season overreaction alert! Both of these guys are going to be top 20 starters this year, but only one of them (Burnes) is being treated that way. Berrios is a safer bet for a huge season, and might actually be able to throw 175+ IP this year. Joe Berry has been berry berry good to me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Aaaand we’re back. Aaand John Means is an Ace now. Wait–rewind. Means stifled the Boston bats and spoiled their home opener Friday afternoon, allowing just a single base runner (one hit) in seven innings of work and striking out five to notch his first win of the season. I know exactly what you’re thinking outdated Fry meme–not sure if Red Sox are this bad or John Means is this good. Well, as bad as the Sawx looked, Means probably pitched one of his best games in ever. He commanded the zone with 65 of his 95 pitches thrown for strikes, and generated 14 swings-and-misses, eight with changeup alone, which can be an especially nasty pitch when he’s got it working, paired with his 4-seamer. After an awful start to 2020, Means finished strong in September with a 1.52 ERA, 0.63 WHIP and 30 strikeouts in 23.2 IP averaging around 94 mph on his fastball, up about 2 mph from 2019. Grey told you to BUY, gushing about his xBA and saying “if he can keep those gains, velocity increases, and stop handing out more gopher balls than a veterinarian with weird party favors, John Means could be a top 25 starter while costing nowhere near that price.” And that’s me quoting Grey! Look, I understand the hesitation owning Orioles pitchers, and Means HR/9 doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. In fact, when I drafted Means on draft day I got a audible “HA!” for the pick. But we’ll see who’s laughing in September. Sure things aren’t getting any easier for the homer-prone lefty as he travels to New York next week to take on the Yankees, but Means is owned in less than 50% of leagues and has got some major breakout potential. I think he’s worth a flier at that price wherever he’s available. Means means business! That’s two “means”, and that means something?  Who else is confused? Where else you going to get an Ace after draft day. Now your chance! I means it!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As we head into the final week of the season, it seems like a good time to look back — well, back a few days or weeks anyway.  Even with only 60 games, many players who started the year as deep leaguers were able to prove they belong in a much shallower stratosphere in 2021.  Take Luke Voit… I told you in my post way back on January 14th of this year that I’d already drafted as my first baseman in a league, liking his value at the time, which was around #200 in terms of NFBC ADP.  Let’s just say that I don’t think any of us will be getting Voit with anything close to a 200th pick next spring.  I’m also pretty sure Alec Mills’ no hitter will keep me from being able to scoop him up at the end of an NL-only draft next year the way I did this year.  So let’s move on and look at a handful of players who have very recently — and a little more quietly — been playing well, with an eye not only on last minute help in 2020, but also potential consideration in 2021.

Please, blog, may I have some more?