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If you thought this was a post on Aaron Judge, I don’t blame you. We here at Razzball always like to word play with the titles, but today I’m taking it next level by bringing it back to the literal. Got it? Yeah, me neither. Anyways, society is always espousing that we not judge a book by its cover. Sage advice and, since I’m a part of society, I shall pat myself on the back. In the early days of man’s existence, instantaneous judgements needed to be formulated for survival. Is that furry animal with big teeth friend or foe? As time progressed, life got more complicated. Are those breasts real or fake? Is it you or me? Taste great or less filling? No longer was life simply about eating or being eaten. Mankind has reached a certain level of consciousness to tap into the brain power that has allowed us to manipulate and/or be manipulated. Translation: not everything is what it seems. For this week’s edition of Bear or Bull, I will look at Chris Owings and Logan Morrison, two players at opposite ends of the production spectrum to begin the season. A 2-for-1 special! Who’s better than me??!! Don’t answer that.

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Mahle is pronounced mahl-EE. So, if the headline seemed a little off, there you go. Now go back and read it again. I thought it was maul myself, so thank goodness I caught it before I wrote the title. Anyways, this is such a great time of the season for fantasy. The hormones are still pulsating, the optimism is still flowing, and the scrutiny from every action on the diamond is simply amazing. It’s as if everyone is on Ritalin. As a result, the emotions are high and perceptions are warped. Overreaction Theater is sold out. For better or for worse, enjoy this blessed time before the grind and dog days take over. In this weekly piece, I’ll take a look at one player that has performed above or below expectations and provide a verdict for his future prospects. This week will be none other than Tyler Mahle.

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The AL East is “big boy” baseball. Four teams from the division ended 2017 in the top 10 for home runs in all of baseball. The Yankees were first with 241, the Orioles were fifth with 232, the Rays were sixth with 228….Hold up. The Rays? Yes, the Rays. The final team was the Blue Jays with 222. With great power, comes great responsibility. Unfortunatley, there was a lot of DGAF’ing, as the Rays were second in MLB for striking out and the Orioles were eighth. From a pitching perspective, it would makes sense then that three of the teams (BOS, NYY, and TOR) ended top 10 in strikeouts. TB ended 11th. Big boy baseball indeed. To cement the point home, four of the teams (BOS, BAL, TB, and NYY) were bottom 10 in sacrifice hits. TOR was 13th. Small ball, schmal ball. Chicks dig the long ball. Ladies and gentlemen, the AL East.

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For the upcoming season, Fangraphs has four teams projected for a run differential greater than 100. Three of those teams reside in the AL Central. Ha! For shits and giggles, the fourth team is the Miami Jeters. No wonder Chief Wahoo’s smile is so big. The division is straight forward so my only question regarding the AL Central is: why is the logo for the White Sox black? Wouldn’t white with black trim make more sense?

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The American League West. Home to the defending World Series Champion Houston Astros. Home to the best player in baseball. Is that Mike Trout or Shohei Ohtani? Home to the team that has a need for speed, as the Seattle Mariners acquired Dee Gordon. Can some of that speed and “other stuff” be transferred to the arm of Felix Hernandez? Home to the only team that has had a Bush own the team, pitch for the team, and had, not one, but two POTUS’s. Or is it POTI? Home to the team with the second-lowest payroll in all of baseball. The Oakland Athletics are at $50.7 million for the 2018 season, while the Boston Red Sox have a $229.7 million payroll for the upcoming season. Ladies and gentlemen, the American League West.

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Today, we take a look at the positional battles for the National League East, a division that is quite emblematic of the US of A. The power and leadership resides in Washington DC. The New York Mets have the money, 11th highest payroll in baseball, but they are not the Yankees. Atlanta. Sorry, I mean Hotlanta, always gets overlooked, but there’s tons of talent down south. We may be seeing lots of non-Native Americans tomahawk chopping on TV very soon. Philadelphia is usually in the shadow of New York. Well, the Eagles won the Super Bowl, so suck on that New Yorkers. I kid. There’s tons of young talent on the Phillies, especially on the pitching side, but they will continue to play in the shadow of their brethren to the east. Miami. This is where things break down. A city of opulence and culture, yet the Marlins sold off all their assets like a Pookie crackhead would for one last hit. The only way I can tie this into the US of A analogy is that Miami is located in the state of Florida, a state in which the lawmakers said that porn is dangerous but refused to talk about assault rifles. Ladies and gentlemen, the NL East.

The 2018 Razzball Commenter Leagues are now open! Free to join with prizes! All the exclamation points!

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The National League Central, the division that cannot be won unless you have a C in the name. Let’s see, the Chicago Cubs won in 2016 and 2017, the Cardinals won from 2013-2015, and Cincinnati won in 2012. A glitch in the Matrix occurred in 2012, when the Brewers took home the crown. Other than the Houston Astros, who won four division titles (1997, 1998, 1999, 2001) before getting the boot to the American League West in 2010, it’s been all Cincinnati, Cardinals, and Cubs. Pittsburgh. Where you at? Ah, it’s good to have baseball back. Each week, I will go through the position battles for each division. Let’s take a look at the NL Central.

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Spring Training is upon us! If I was a round pitcher filled with red liquid that could walk and talk, I’d scream, “Oh yeah!” Unfortunately, the only thing I am is round. Anyways, this time of year always reminds me of Jerry Seinfeld. We go to the doctor’s office and they tell us to wait. Then we get excited when they call our names so that we can go wait in the smaller waiting room. That’s where we are at in the baseball season. In the small waiting room. Close, yet so far. Over the next six weeks, I will be going through one division a week and will focus on the position battles for each team.

The 2018 Razzball Commenter Leagues are now open! Free to join with prizes! All the exclamation points!

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As I was scrolling through the FantasyPros rankings, looking for someone to write about, I started getting despondent. There was no one to write about because the stable of great writers at Razzball seemingly touched on everyone! But, like a good little grasshopper, I kept mining for the Bitcoin. Then, I found him: Manuel Margot. Sexy? Definitely not, but neither was Biggie, and he got us to bob our heads up and down and wave our arms in the air from side to side. Speaking of which, I couldn’t get this song out of my head while I was thinking about Margot.  Yes, I was hypnotized.

You want the fantasy hoops? Even if it sounds like a STD? SON’s got you covered over Razzball Basketball!

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The suspense must be killing you. Yolmer Sanchez is the first MLB player to what? There are times when a wham, bam, thank you ma’am or sir are in order. You’re on the run and you hear sirens? Perfectly acceptable. You’re at home chillin’ like a…..You hear someone pull into the driveway? Gotta knock it out real quick. Now, I try not to be a selfish person. I like to please. Sometimes it turns into a wham, bam, what the hell was that? But, at least I tried.

Anyways, Sanchez’s full name is Yolmer Carlos Javier Sanchez Yanez. I’m guessing he went with Carlos, as that would make it easier to transition in the USA. I’m kind of curious as to the Sanchez Yanez part? Is his last name Sanchez or Yanez? Now, I’m thinking five pieces of paper were thrown into a hat and then….the magic happened.

So, when the White Sox drafted him in 2009, his name was Carlos Sanchez. At 5′ 10″ 175 pounds, he projected as a utility infielder that would make a living playing solid defense and making contact. Which basically translates to “meh.” Over an eight-year career, he played in 788 games. He never hit more than 10 home runs in any season and often had an average  in the .250-.260-ish range. 201 of those games have been at the major league level.

Then, a funny thing happened in 2017. He changed his name to Yolmer. He’s now 195 pounds. And he’s hit 11 home runs in 465 plate appearances. Ok, he’s probably weighed 195 pounds for a while now, but 11 home runs? If that’s not evidence for funny balls, then I don’t know what is. There’s a non-zero chance that it could be the magic of the name hat, though.

So, what to make of Yolmer going forward?

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I get it. With that freaking lunatic in North Korea doing lunatic things, it’s only natural for the negativity to permeate to all Koreans. But Shin-Soo Choo? Grey wrote in last week’s Buy/Sell column, “Hey, it’s Willie Calhoun’s prospblock! Hey, Willie Calhoun’s prospblock, say hello to your mother for me.” Why Grey why? Why can’t it be Delino DeShields? No need to answer that. How about Nomar Mazara? Carlos Gomez? I’m sticking up for Choo, but what can he do for you?

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Since returning to action after a three-month layoff due to injury, Kevin Kiermaier is batting .357/.650/1.007 with two doubles, one triple, three home runs, eight RBI, six runs scored, and one stolen base in 40 at-bats.

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Prior to the start of the season, the Tampa Bay Rays extended Kiermaier with a six-year, $53.5 million contract. They believe in him. Should you?

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