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Author: Grey

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Prepare Yourself For Some Votto Erotica

August 20, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 158 Comments

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Went looking for Joey Votto stats since the All-Star break and I found this tidbit:

In case you missed the fine print, that’s from 2016, so kinda pointless, but it shows he loves himself some hot air. Joey is filled with it! And so am I. Wanna elbow bump or shake hands? Elbow? Okay, cool. Here’s another one:

That was 2015. I’ve proved my point. Earlier this year, during the trading deadline week, he came within one homer and about two feet in Metco of tying the Devil Dale Long’s Home Run Record, which is the best baseball record. With his 27th homer last night, Joey Votto has 16 homers and 39 RBIs in the 32 games since the break. Not only is Votto hitting for a solid average (.281), but he’s also hitting for power, and, you kinda get the impression, he could do whatever he wanted with whatever pitch he saw. Personal anecdote alert that I’ve recounted before. Fast forward a blurb if you’re not interested. When I was in my teens, I went to baseball summer camp. The guy who ran it was a Yankees’ scout, so he’d have players come in to teach us fundamentals. One guest was Mike Pagliarulo. I know, I know, this is like the opening monologue before someone sings Springsteen’s Glory Days at karaoke. Any hoo! Pags was the best hitter I ever saw within three feet of me. One kid there was a minor league pitcher, and Pags was so dramatically better than him, it was obvious the kid would never go anywhere. If Pags wanted to hit a home run to right against this kid, he did. Up the middle? No problem. Home run to left? Sure, why not? So, my point (!), against this minor league pitcher, Pags did what I imagine Votto does against major leaguers. Votto is my Pags of the majors. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Freddie Brings His Brand Of Cycle-Ogical Terror To Miami

August 19, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 178 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”844743″ player=”10951″ title=”RZBL%202021%20WAIVER%20WIRE%20Week%2019″ duration=”152″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2021-08-13″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/844743_t_1628816018.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/844743.mp4″]

“The 1994 classic, Blank Check, is possibly the best film ever, better than those Godfather films. Did you know they aren’t even about the perils of being a Godfather? Like what gift do I give my godson for his fifth birthday? Or what happens when my god daughter’s mother is hitting on me? Anyway, Blank Check is a ten out of ten, better than Dunston Checks In. The only drawback I can see is I thought Blank Check was initially about what the Braves will be offering Freddie Freeman this offseason.” Sorry! I was just typing up my IMDB Blank Check review. Yesterday, Freddie Freeman acquired his 2nd career cycle, going 4-for-5, 4 runs, 2 RBIs and his 27th homer, as he hits .301. His Ks, walks, BABIP, HardHit%, HR/FB% and spread of balls to his pull side vs. opposite way are all in line with previous–Okay, is he a robot? Thought we were starting to see the beginning of the end when he was struggling with his average in the early months, but that was fraught for naught. I’m sure we’ll see more cycles in the future for Freeman if he ever gets that Braves’ blank check. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Logan Webb Pitching Like Wolverine Meets Spider-Man

August 18, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 188 Comments

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I had the worst intro to a post in my head and because of OCD and other complicated factors I kinda have to do it now. The worst intro ever to any post ever written: It’s time we talked about (insert subject). Hey, Awkward Intro Sentence, how about you just talk about the subject and stop talking about how it’s time we talk about it! This…this whole talking about a terrible intro for an extended period of time? It’s much worse! I’ve worsened the worst! Luckily, we’re going from worsening of the worst to one of the best of the last three months. So, it’s time we talk about (side-eye) Logan Webb. On one breaking pitch to Jonathan Villar, it was like, “Bye-bye for now, you’re no longer needed.” Speaking of breaking:

Yesterday, Logan Webb went 7 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.92, and he has the 2nd best ERA in the major leagues in the last three months (1.64). Only pitcher’s ERA that is better since May is Jacob deGrom. He’s only allowed 17 earned runs since May 1st! That’s 64 IP, and 11 starts. The thing about his ERA too, it’s not all smoke and mirrors. He’s a 9.5 K/9, 2.7 BB/9 guy, which isn’t quite an ace, but it’s not far off from a fantasy three with two leanings, i.e., May not be Breaking Bad-level good, but he’s definitely a bad man who is breaking good. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Rays Going To Lowe’s For Yardwork

August 17, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 192 Comments

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My brain whenever I see Brandon Lowe: “It’s Low, right? No, you idiot, it’s like Lau! LAU! LAU! Say LAU! Which is pronounced like Low, right? NO! It rhymes with chow! It’s Lau!” Then, I compose myself and pronounce it as “Low.” Literally, without fail. I hope you do this too, so I’m not alone. It would make me feel better. Thank you. Yesterday, Lowe–Lau! But spelled Lowe!–went double ding dong, as he led-off (3-for-4, 3 RBIs) with his 27th and 28th homer. Also, in the Hooters-adjacent Tampa Bay-adjacent St. Pete’s Basilica, Kevin Kiermaier (1-for-4) hit his 4th homer; Brett Phillips (2-for-4) boogied his way to his 10th homer and Mike Brosseau (1-for-4) hit his 5th homer. Now I see why Brosseau, “Whoa.” Lowe, though (doesn’t rhyme), is repeating his HR/FB% from last year’s breakout, along with FB%, and HardHit%, but not really his strikeouts. He’s way more aggressive at the plate (O-Swing% and Swing% up), and unfortunately for him, he’s making more contact on junk pitches. Wish the average was higher for Lowe (that’s not a pun, it’s Lau not Low), but he’s established himself as a 32-homer guy with upside for 2022. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Gilbert Arizona Rises Like a Phoenix

August 16, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 303 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”844743″ player=”10951″ title=”RZBL%202021%20WAIVER%20WIRE%20Week%2019″ duration=”152″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2021-08-13″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/844743_t_1628816018.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/844743.mp4″]

The stage was set. A 27-year-old with three and two-thirds innings in his major league career under his belt. Zero starts prevously. A Rule 5 no-nothing arm from the 6th round of the 2015 draft. He was traded from the Dodgers to the Phils for Garlick. Not even a root vegetable! Not even a rutabaga, they said! Then left him unprotected, and the Diamondbacks grabbed Gilbert in the Rule 5 draft. A draft where players are divvied up by one team saying, “We’ll take him,” then every other team has to the count of five to say they want him. And no one wanted Gilbert! His own father, Gilbert Gilbert, didn’t even want to name him Gilbert Gilbert Gilbert after his father, Gilbert Gilbert Gilbert. Forgotten, abandoned, and then:  History.  Tyler Gilbert (9 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 2 walks, 5 Ks) threw MLB’s 8th no-hitter (because they don’t count games that are seven innings long as real games) in his first major league start. With that historic, momentous game under his belt, grab him now for fantasy? God, no! He sucks. I mean, maybe in NL-Only. But while holding your nose. The other three guys to throw no-hitters in their first start were Bobo Holloman, Bumpus Jones and Ted Breitenstein. Two of them were in the 1800s when baseball were made rocks. Bumpus and Bobo sound like great company for a traveling circus. Either way, Saturday made for a memorable night for Gilbert. Just last year he was an electrician’s apprentice, so he went from lights on to lights out. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Buying Rosario Doesn’t Take Amed Degree

August 13, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 221 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”844743″ player=”10951″ title=”RZBL%202021%20WAIVER%20WIRE%20Week%2019″ duration=”152″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2021-08-13″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/844743_t_1628816018.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/844743.mp4″]

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

I keep saying it, but what’s saying it one more time! It’s so unlikely that Amed Rosario would come out of the Francisco Lindor trade with Andres Gimenez and Amed be the one with the most value this year. Like 100 to 1 odds? Maybe, but maybe what we’re not remembering is something I mentioned on the podcast the other day. Whatever burns the Mets in the most dramatic way will always happen. If it means, Justin Turner, at the age of 28, has a high of two homers in any season, then gets traded away from the Mets and becomes a perennial MVP candidate? Then it will mean that! If it means Zack Wheeler goes to a division rival and becomes a Cy Young candidate, then that’s what will happen. If it means the Mets will make a lopsided trade for a top ten bat in Lindor with a much ballyhooed prospect and a throw-in, then that throw-in will become a top producer. These are the rules of the Mets. Amed Rosario only became a “throw-in” because he didn’t live up to the hype, but it wasn’t that long ago there was hype. He was a 15/19/.287 hitter as recently as 2019, and he’s only 25 years old. We should’ve never stopped thinking Amed Rosario could be good, because he never stopped being good. Sure, he had a bad 2020 season, but everyone — including you, me and all the people we know — had a bad 2020. If Rosario’s available in your league, grab him for power, speed and average. He also brings an added special ingredient:  the smite of the Mets Gods. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Pina & Urias Take Hendricks All Along The Dongtower

August 13, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 137 Comments

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Burps for five minutes, then sloppily places a lei on a waitress. Unable to resist the primal urges of being drunk and a man, he leans in to kiss the waitress, but, before landing the smackeroo, two bouncers drag him out of the tropical-theme bar and grill. As he’s dragged by the elbows, he screams, “Your burgers at Islands suck!” A very somber Eric McCormack enters, and we see it’s a PSA. Eric addresses the camera, “This is what happens when you have too Manny Pina’s.” Yesterday, Manny Pina went 3-for-6, 3 runs, 6 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer. I’m really starting to come around on the idea presented by a commenter that said instead of drafting a catcher, you draft a team and get that team’s catchers. Like drafting a defense in fantasy football. Also, in this game, that was Kyle Hendricks’s worst nightmare (4 IP, 9 ER,, ERA at 4.15), Jace Peterson (5-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs) came a triple short of the cycle. Hendricks’s previous worst nightmare was getting caught in an elevator with a hungry Daniel Vogelbach. That’s every player’s worst nightmare. Moving on! The other big star yesterday was Luis Urias (5-for-6, 5 runs, 5 RBIs) hit his 15th and 16th homer, and I just added him to the Buy column coming later today. Pretty goofy that he’s only rostered in 30% of leagues. On the Player Rater, Christian Yelich is over two hundred spots lower in value than Luis Urias. Take me to the top of a 100-foot wave in Nazaré, Portugal and throw me into a barrel. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Lewis HR’d, Brinson Repeat

August 12, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 273 Comments

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Before Lewis Brinson (3-for-4, 3 RBIs) homered twice (6, 7) on Wednesday, I wrote him up for the Buy column this week — which is available now on the Patreon. I had included him, because I saw recently that Lewis Brinson was hitting near-.350 in the last two weeks, and had hit some homers, so I was pumped to open his Statcast page to see improvement and! And! AND! Well, no, not entirely. He’s been better than he has been for Launch Angle, getting good wood on ball and xBA is up, but, damn, he still misses so much. If you lift balls with good wood–Wait, are we still talking about hitting? Right, right. Yes, good things will happen. Brinson is hitting balls as hard as Tatis, Verdugo, Story and Walsh. Clearly, great guys to be mentioned in the same breath, but they all make far more contact, and have three-plus times as many at-bats. This last few-week stretch has been great, but when I called him recently Byron Pennieston, because he was a poor man’s Buxton, it still applies. Of course, I’d still grab Pennieston in any league. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ant-Man and the Whops

August 11, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 274 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”840815″ player=”10951″ title=”RZBL%202021%20WAIVER%20WIRE%20Week%2018″ duration=”150″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2021-08-06″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/840815_t_1628231313.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/840815.mp4″]

Is the title anti-Italian discrimination? Lucky I didn’t go with Whop, Whop, That’s How You Drive A Rig-A-Tony. It’s whop as in making a loud blow, like a homer! Hey, I’m half-Italian, I can’t be discriminatory. You can tell I’m half-Italian because I can be loud about absolutely nothing. If I mention Tony Soprano and you don’t do the stations of the cross, I can’t trust you. Taken too soon. *crosses self, kisses hand* I can’t wait for the prequel, that’s got ugatz on nothing not for nothing. Anthony Santander, vaffanculo, where’s this guy been? Anthony, you should be so good, what happened to you? You upset me, you know that? Yesterday, Santander went 2-for-4 with his 8th and 9th homer, as he hits .245. You kiss your mother with those stats? His Launch Angle came down this year, unlike the price of gabagool. It’s brought down his fly balls. *grabs balls* What’s it to ya? His HR/FB% is in the basement with my old Z. Cavaricci pants. He looks like he split his great, although short, 2020 season and his just okay 2019. Yesterday might’ve been the start of hot streak, like this blond going through my rat tail, but his numbers look fairly mediocre, unlike the sleeper he was coming into the year. Unless he can drive through the ball like a Fiat, and Fix It Again, Tony. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

La Pantera, ft. Eloy Jimenez — Don’t Worry, It Only Sounds Like A Pitbull Song

August 10, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 229 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”840815″ player=”10951″ title=”RZBL%202021%20WAIVER%20WIRE%20Week%2018″ duration=”150″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2021-08-06″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/840815_t_1628231313.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/840815.mp4″]

Roughly three months ago, we were talking about the grave, man. Not Kendall, but the one where Luis Robert (2-for-5, 1 RBI) was placed with care next to Eloy Jimenez (2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 4th and 5th homer). Where Yermin Mercedes later joined him, then Yasmani Grandal, then Billy Hamilton, then Adam Eaton, but who cares about him. Really, the only ones not missing time for the White Sox has been the pitching staff. I just jinxed them, didn’t I? No, I haven’t because to offset my jinx, I took a cat-o-nine-tails and whipped my back 27 times, Lucas Giolito’s uniform number. Do I have to whip myself 33 times for Lance Lynn too? I’m not asking you, I’m asking the voodoo high priestess I am Zoom’ing with! The brutal truth is I didn’t have room for Luis Robert to sit on my IL for the last three months, and I dropped him. Well, that’s not the brutal part. The 88 lashes I’m being told to administer to myself for Robert’s uniform number is the brutal part. SOMEONE SAVE ME is what I scream into a Pringles can for later. You never scream an SOS into a can, then cap it in case you can’t scream later? Hmm, weird, must be me–Any hoo! I see Luis Robert as a top 30 bat again. Unlike, say, Chris Sale, hitters don’t need as much time to get up to speed, and if Robert’s healthy, I’m all-in. As for Eloy, well, he’s a top 20 bat. He homered twice on Sunday, followed that with a different song, same verse on Monday and, if he homers twice a game from now until October, I’ll prolly just mutter about how awful Cody Bellinger is and about how I dropped Eloy when he was supposedly out all year. Absolutely owning the day and the night, Grey Albright! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Phillies Retire Roy’s Number While Zack Retires Mets’ Lumber

August 9, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 330 Comments

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On the day the Phils retired Roy Halladay’s uniform number, Zack Wheeler was the first Phillies pitcher to retire 22 consecutive batters in a start since May 29, 2010 — Roy Halladay’s perfect game. How does baseball baseball so entirely? Of course, Roy Halladay Day was going to feature a complete game shutout vs. the Mets. It’s baseball baseballing. Anything else would’ve been shocking. Can you just bet the Mets will suffer? Does Vegas take that sorta bet? Awkward segue alert! The Patreon podcast is booked to do a live show in Vegas with me, Donkey and Billy. Details are on the podcast. So, how do you bet the Mets will suffer? Do you bet something like, “I want…The Mets to suffer plus ‘will be swept,’ plus ‘while being shutout,’ plus ‘while going against the ex-Mets pitcher, Zack Wheeler (9 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 1 walk, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.42),’ plus ‘while losing 1st place.'” That’s like a Quinella combined with a Pick 6. Wheeler has the 2nd best xFIP of qualified starters; 2nd best FIP if you prefer that; 3rd best xERA if you want that; 10.4 K/9, 2 BB/9, his best velocity of his career (!) and best SwStr%. It’s hard to imagine Zack Wheeler being ranked any lower than the top five starters for 2022 fantasy baseball. Since he’s an ex-Met, that might be the bonus number on the Pick 6. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Buy The Straw That Stirs The SAGNOF Drink

August 6, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 256 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”840815″ player=”10951″ title=”RZBL%202021%20WAIVER%20WIRE%20Week%2018″ duration=”150″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2021-08-06″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/840815_t_1628231313.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/840815.mp4″]

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Standing at a box that appears to be a dynamite detonator, we follow a thick black wire out of the box and down the road to its natural conclusion. At the other end, a mile down the road, the wire is in a cup of Hong Kong milk tea filled with boba. We realize now that was not a dynamite detonator but Grey wearing a box instead of clothes, and that wire was a mile-long straw to suck boba. Suddenly, I shoot up in bed, sweating, screaming, “Myles Straw!” Then, as I get my bearings, I mutter, “Wow, what a dream,” then boba starts dribbling out of my mouth. An animated question mark forms above my head and I ask, “Was it a dream?” So, speed is nowhere. Myles Straw is currently in the top five for steals in the majors, and he was just traded to a team that is running out the clock on its name, i.e., he can run every time he’s on base. Also, he’s the best fit for the everyday leadoff spot. So, you’re thinking, “Grey, you’re silly handsome, but if Straw, um, sucks — hehe, I made a joke — who cares if he’s leading off?” Straw doesn’t, um, suck. He’s a 60-grade hit tool guy, who could hit .280. Sure, he has no power, but you’re not grabbing Straw for power; he’s for speed, runs and potentially average. I love Straw! *sneezes* Sorry, I have hay fever. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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