I have to keep this short, because after the jump is going to be the longest post you’ve ever seen in your life.  How do I know all the posts you’ve seen to compare this one to?  Because I’m sitting behind you.  *waves*  Hey!  I’ve given you the top 10 for 2018 fantasy baseball, top 20 for 2018 fantasy baseball and top 20 catchers for 2018 fantasy baseball.  All projections included are mine, and where I see tiers starting and stopping are included.  Let’s do this!  Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After going over the top 10 for 2018 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2018 fantasy baseball (clickbait!), it’s now time to turn our lonely eyes to you, Mr. Robinson Chirinos.  To paraphrase The Refreshments from their should-be smash hit, Fonder and Blonder, “Who said absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Pitches are thrown to catchers, but that doesn’t make my heart grow fonder.”  Later in that song, they sing, “I’ll be scratchin’ it down,” which sounds like it applies to all baseball players.  Or as the rhyming dictionary has never said, applies to oranges.  Any hoo!  The projections noted in the post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop.  I also mention a bunch of hullabaloo, so let’s get to it.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?


Yesterday, I went over the top 10 for 2018 fantasy baseball.  Today, I throw out preconceived notions, drink some potions and lather up my body with lotions as I sloppily slip and slide my way through the most precarious top 20 for fantasy baseball I’ve ever encountered.  This top twenty is a blind man playing Twister.  Half the time, I’m grabbing for things not knowing if they’re there or not.  I legit think this top 20 could go countless other ways.  Is countless a widowed Countess?  No, it’s not, it’s a confusing AF top 20 for fantasy baseball.  Last year, I ranked no starters in the top 20.  This year I decided to rank one so low you’d never draft him.  If you want to bemoan my low ranking of one starter, then bemoan away.  Just remember, a bemoaner sounds a bit to me like “U be a boner.”   All the positional rankings will live under the 2018 fantasy baseball rankings.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

 
I sure wish Grey would do his 2018 fantasy baseball rankings.  Wait, I am Grey and this is those rankings!  AHHHHH!!!  I need to sit down.  Wait, I am sitting!!!  I can’t handle all of this!!!  I’m going to put on a pair of pants and go dance in the street.  Meh, let’s be honest, pants are a chore.  So, this is the greatest day ever!  Now, only 400,000 words more until I finish my top 500 and I’ll be done.  Worst day ever!  Damn, that excitement was fleeting.  Well, not for you because you don’t have to write all the rankings.  You lucky son of a gun!  I wish I were you… *wavy lines*  Hey, why am I balding and have lost all definition in my buttocks?  *wavy lines*  Hmm, I’m gonna stay me.  Now before we get into the top 10 for 2018 fantasy baseball (though I imagine every single one of you has skipped this intro paragraph), I’m gonna lay down some exposition.  Here’s where you follow us on Twitter.  Here’s where you follow us on Facebook.  Here’s our fantasy baseball player rater.  Here’s our fantasy baseball team name generator.  Here is all of our 2018 fantasy baseball rankings.  Here’s the position eligibility chart for 2018 fantasy baseball.  And here is a picture of my son.  What a punim!  You may not get all of those links in such a handy, easy-to-use format ever again this year, so make proper note.  (Unless you just go to the top menu on this page that says “Rankings” and click it, but semantics, my over-the-internet friend, semantics.)  Also, as you might’ve noticed upfront, this year we’re dipping our big toe into video.  Yes, we only have one big toe, it is not plural.  The preseason videos will be more rankings flotsam that washed up into my brain. They’re also animated to reach that target 7-12 demographic.  That’s not 7 to 12-year-olds, that’s the 7 to 12 adult males that enjoy animation.  If the preseason videos are met with enthusiasm, we’ll continue into the season.

Now my expositional half insists I breakdown some generalizations about these 2018 fantasy baseball rankings.  The 2018 fantasy baseball rankings will be an ever-evolving mass like the blob.  This fantasy baseball top 10 for 2018 list is as of right now and could potentially change with a big injury or Mike Trout quitting baseball because he’s bored with being the best and wants to play competitive Mahjong.  (I’m not sure yet where Trout would rank in my Mahjong Top 10.)  So while it is the 2018 fantasy baseball gospel, take it with a tablet of salt.  Tomorrow we will cover the rest of the top twenty for 2018 fantasy baseball, then we will go around the horn with a top 20 (more like 50) list for every position.  Then for pitchers and outfielders, I’ll turn the dial to 100 (more like 140).  Listed with each player are my 2018 projections.  Did I consult with anyone else who does projections?  It would be ignorant not to, but, in the end, these are my projections.  Players need 5 games started at a position to get included in the positional rankings.  Finally, as with each list in the 2018 fantasy baseball rankings, I will be mentioning where I see tiers start and stop.  I look at tiers like this, if Jose Altuve and Paul Goldschmidt are in the same tier, it doesn’t matter if one guy is ranked 2nd and one guy is ranked 3rd, they’re both very close.  It comes down to personal preference.  I would prefer the guy at number two over the guy at three, but you do you, I’ll do me and let’s hope we don’t go blind.  Anyway, here’s the top 10 for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yo, this winter trading season has been a Bomb Cyclone, but not as in the winter storm, or a flurry of moves, but rather the Bomb Cyclone, the Coney Island roller coaster that kills one of four riders. “This doesn’t seem that rickety.” Three minutes later, “Is the wooden plank I’m sitting on supposed to be falling to the ground from 75 feet in the air?”  Seriously, is this the worst offseason for player signings and/or trades?  Players aren’t even signing in dribs and drabs, they’re not signing at all.  My rankings start on Monday, and I have dozens of players that read something like, “Still a free agent, so this could change.”  By the way, a urologist should put on his business card, “Specializes in drips and drabs.”  As for Gerrit Cole being traded to the Astros, this sorta sums him up:

I might go back in on Cole if he can turn his career around from his 4.26 ERA last year, but I’m waiting for him to flip a U-ey before I hunker down in his bunker.  I’ve been burned way too many times by, “Cole’s looking great in his start…Damn, if it wasn’t for that 3-run homer he allowed in the sixth, that would’ve been a solid start.”  Yeah, I’m done with that.  Since I wasn’t going near Cole anyway, I’m actually more disappointed by this move because it bumps Brad Peacock from the rotation.  Peacock’s bloomage looked to be peaking.  All of Peacock’s numbers were more attractive to me than Cole.  Alas, it doesn’t matter.  Peacock is out of the rotation until there’s an injury.  Though, this does help solidify Trevor Williams’ place in the Pirates’ rotation.  Here’s my Trevor Williams sleeper.  Me likey!  For 2018, I’ll give Gerrit Cole the projections of 13-10/3.78/1.23/181 in 195 IP.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ian Happ doesn’t even have a starting job, but I’m crazy excited about him.  I think he’s the first player I’ve ever written a sleeper post about without a guaranteed starting job.  He’s going to lack runs and RBIs, because Joe Maddon is so smart he needs to outwit himself to stay one step of himself.  Make sense?  It’s not supposed to.  Last year, he had 24 HRs, 8 SBs and .253 in only 364 ABs.  *fighting urge to prorate*  Ugh!  I’m not mentally strong enough to avoid the Prorating Monster.  Last year, he had 65% of an everyday player’s at-bats, so with a full-time job he would’ve had 32 homers, 11 steals in his rookie year.  *eyes roll up in top of head, faints, Giancarlo catches me in his arms, wiping my brow with his handkerchief*  “Thank you, Giancarlo.  Wait, that’s not your arm you caught me with?”  You might be thinking, as a rational person would, that Ian Happ was platooned because of his huge platoon splits.  Haha, yeah, no.  He’s a switch hitter with no real splits.  Also, you might be thinking he is stuck behind someone who absolutely has to play every day.  Yeah, nope.  He played 145 games last year across five positions.  The Cubs are just kinda stacked and Happ played everywhere.  Last year, he played the most games at center field.  Right now, he’s still projected to see the most time in center.  Guess who’s in front of him.  Go ahead, I won’t laugh if you say the wrong name.  Did you just say Crash Bandicoot?  That’s the worst guess I’ve ever heard.  In front of Happ is Albert Almora Jr.  I’m sorry, Maddon does bonkers shizz, but there’s no way Almora moves Happ to the bench more than a few times a week, and those times Happ can just play another position.  So, what can we expect from Ian Happ for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Me don’t like focusing so much on AL East starters for sleepers.  Me do like talking like a leprechaun.  Kevin Gausman is stealing me Lucky Charms!  Last year, Gausman’s record was 11-12/4.68/1.49/179 in 186 2/3 IP.  Here’s what I said towards the end of last year, “This year, like a case of lice, Gausman is a real head scratcher.  Looking at his perfs (kids say this; think it’s short for perfumes), Gausman is having a garbage year.  Velocity is there, so doubt it’s a hidden injury.  The walks are way up, Ks are down, and the culprit appears to be his fastball.  Went from a near-10 in pitch value on his speed ball to a negative.  FS shouldn’t abbreviate fastball, it should be for ‘F**k’s sake.’  The good news is this sounds like a mechanics problem, and might’ve been fixed already.  Thanks, Pep Boys!  His 1st half vs. 2nd half:  5.85 ERA vs. 3.44; 7.7 K/9 vs. 9.6 K/9; 4 BB/9 vs. 3.2.  Yeah, sadly enough, it’s going to be hard to avoid him in 2018 again.”  And that’s me quoting me!  So, what can we expect for Kevin Gausman for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Patrick Corbin will be only 28 years old for half of the 2018 season.  I know, surprised me too.  How did I know that would surprise you?  I read your mind, man.  What’s that?  You’re now thinking string cheese would make a good tampon for a mouse?  Hmm, all right, you shouldn’t share that with anyone.  What is that you are thinking now?  Why not take one McRib and make a McEve?  Okay, I think I’m going to stop reading your mind now.  Seriously *motions to your head*  things are going on up there we don’t need to talk about.  Last year, Patrick Corbin, or as a serial killer would call him Pat Rick Corbin, went 14-13/4.03/1.42/178, and I fell asleep in the middle of that stat line.  1.42 isn’t a WHIP it’s my college GPA.  Four-oh-three isn’t an ERA, it’s an ate-testant’s starting weight on The Biggest Loser.  178 isn’t strikeouts it’s–Actually that’s not bad.  As a male porn actor once said, it’s about time we went under the hood.  So, what can we expect from Patrick Corbin for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This is my answer track to my Masahiro Tanaka sleeper.  If that sleeper was on the shallow side, this is the polar opposite.  As the Guru once said, this post is for leagues that are deep and much too complicated.  Guru from Gang Starr, not Guru who used to write for this site.  It’s funny how I came upon Trevor Williams.  Not haha funny, because I’m not a clown.  For our five lady readers, do you know the benefit of having sex with a clown?  He can take the condom afterwards and make balloon animals.  Any hoo!  I noticed Trevor Williams when I was looking for Trevor Bauer.  I told you, funny!  That means, up next for a sleeper post, Ted Williams!  Then I will talk about a Williams and Sonoma catalog.  What’s that, you love Trevor Bauer and want to talk about him?  #Metoo.  I’m not using that right, am I?  Carry on, Grey!  Carry on!  If Trevor Williams were just, say, Trevor Williams who we never want to talk about, and not Trevor Williams who I want to talk about, we still wouldn’t be here, if it wasn’t for this one little stat:  21.5.  What is this 21.5 that I speak of?  Soon answers will be revealed like the last five minutes of Law & Order.  Clang-clang.  So, what can we expect from Trevor Williams for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Honestly, I don’t know how much of a sleeper Masahiro Tanaka is going to be in 2018.  I’m writing these posts without a ton of draft data.  You down with ADP?  No, actually, I’m not, and you know me.  My guess is Tanaka will be drafted between 100-130 overall.  There’s value to be had with that draft spot.  If people start hyping him and his splits (which I’ll get to), then Tanaka’s going to zoom past the point of sleeper.  I imagine in a lot of friendly leagues where people show up the day of the draft because it’s the only time they get away from their families, who they not-so-secretly despise, Tanaka will be a relative bargain.  And by ‘relative bargain’ I don’t mean the cousin who is living with you who you tried to sell on the Darknet.  Tanaka will have the Yankee inflation even in those leagues, so he’s not going to be as cheap as his last year 4.74 ERA should have him.  Then, in quote-unquote smarter leagues, Tanaka might be drafted in the top 90 overall because in those leagues people want to prove how much more they know than their leaguemates so they push up a guy like Tanaka on draft boards.  In most leagues, however, people will know Tanaka has a tendon issue, they’ll know he had a wretched first half last year (I promise I’ll get to the 2nd half), and they’ll know there’s safer guys while not wanting to prove anything to anyone by drafting Tanaka early.  In those leagues, Tanaka should come at a relative bargain.  Again, not the cousin you put on Darknet’s eBay.  So, what can we expect from Masahiro Tanaka for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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