Okay, I’m going to try to show you my 2024 LABR team, but I have to warn you, if your parental controls are too high on your browser, you might not be able to see my team. If, for unstints, you have your Chrome browser at PG-13, you won’t even see my outfield. To help those people, and I’m only going to do this this one time, J*lio Rodriguez and A*ron J*dge are both in my outfield, and, ya know what, that’s not even the sexiest outfielder.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Fantasy Baseball War Room, 2024 Edition
February 29, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Draft Strategy, Featured | 118 Commentsby: Grey
This Monday the RazzSlam starts; this Sunday I take part in LABR in Florida, which is where I am when you read this (if you read this on Saturday or Sunday).
Please, blog, may I have some more? 15 Team Auction Draft: Who’s Team Is This? It’s Not My Team, Is It?
February 28, 2024 | Featured, Our Leagues | 138 Commentsby: Grey
So, bunch of Razzballers got together for an auction draft at NFBC and I drafted a team I would never draft in any league. If you showed me this team, I’d say, “Looks like crap, get it out of my face!” Actually, I’d prolly say, “Cool, nice team,” but then I’d snicker! I’d snicker something awful! Real passive aggressive shizz from me! Just a snickering fool! So many snickers until I’m self-satisfied. Then I’d shove your team out of my face and say, “Begone!” I would hate this team if it’s yours, and at least I practice what I preach because I hate this team as mine too! Alas, we must muster on. For those not in the know, it’s a 15-team auction with two catchers that is a weekly league. Unlike a lot of NFBC leagues we play in, it is not draft and hold. There’s a $1000 FAAB budget with weekly pickups. Anyway, here’s my 15-team NFBC auction draft:
Please, blog, may I have some more? 2024 Yahoo Fantasy Baseball Rankings Ranklings
February 27, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 94 Commentsby: Grey
Yahoo is better than ESPN for fantasy baseball rankings. Are they as good as yours truly?
Please, blog, may I have some more? ESPN Fantasy Baseball Rankings for 2024: Uhh…Okay
February 26, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 119 Commentsby: Grey
Guys and five girl readers, let’s remember back to last week when Fantasy Pros said I was the best fantasy baseball rankings:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Ha-Seong Kim, 2024 Fantasy Schmohawk
February 25, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 107 Commentsby: Grey
People have lost their minds where they’re drafting Ha-Seong Kim. Prolly the most obvious overrated guy I’ve seen in some time. Rather than talking about Ha-Seong Kim and why he’s overrated, I think I can just do an Eminem-type rap about Kim. Oh-uh, I feel my rap altar ego, B. Fire, coming on. Watch out haters, here comes the Fire Man!
Please, blog, may I have some more? Kodai’s Shoulder Might Need Some Re-Sengineering
February 22, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 115 Commentsby: Grey
O. Henry typing up a player on his fantasy baseball website, “A player who has massive amounts of upside. Just absolutely loving this guy. He can be a cheap number one starter. I’d give my wife’s comb for this guy, and let her be all straggly and shizz. The only thing possibly going against this great, wonderful player is a small thing that likely won’t react negatively to his value and make this whole thing ironic. That thing is the player plays for the New York Mets.”
Please, blog, may I have some more? Kyle Schwarber, 2024 Fantasy Schmohawk
February 21, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 94 Commentsby: Grey
This one bums me out a bit, because I do like Kyle Schwarber. I kinda love the Phils, in their current state, tee be aitch, but Schwarber? Of course, I like Schwarber. The Schwarb-bomb? Schwarbs? Schwarbs is fun. It’s goofy that he hits leadoff, naturally, but I don’t find myself complaining about Kyle Schwarber, in general, during the heat of the fantasy baseball season. By the by, “the heat of the fantasy baseball season” is sweating out a H2H week, when you’re down one hit during Sunday Night Baseball, and you ate a bad batch of clams, hence the sweating, while sitting on the toilet.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Royce Lewis, 2024 Fantasy Schmohawk
February 20, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 107 Commentsby: Grey
I went to look at Royce Lewis on the Player Rater for last year just to see where he ended up. Last year is not this year — Thank you, Mr. Calendar! — but he ended up at 321st overall last year. Between Will Benson and Michael Conforto. I know, I know, it was only 58 games. He’s a top prospect.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Cole Ragans, 2024 Fantasy Schmohawk
February 19, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 80 Commentsby: Grey
You know things have really gone sideways when you’re out on the sexiest of the sexy guys like Elly De La Cruz. If you see Elly De La Cruz and think, “Ya know what? I don’t like what I see there,” then you just might be in the No Fun Zone. The NFZ is a place that is no fun to be. It’s kinda in the name. It’s like the DMZ without the threat of nuclear war. What fun is that? It’s like TMZ without Ben Affleck juggling Dunkin’ poorly. “Ben Affleck is carrying coffee from Dunkin’ and not spilling it! Let’s take pics for TMZ!” No, no one says that! People want Ben Affleck spilling shizz! Not drafting Cole Ragans is yet another example of Ben Affleck carrying an order of Dunkin’ in perfect containment.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Elly De La Cruz, 2024 Fantasy Schmohawk
February 18, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 136 Commentsby: Grey
Elly De La Cruz is basically a Grey guy. There’s been very few more Grey guys than this Grey guy. He’s basically Mr. Grey Guy. His sex appeal is oozing and I trip over myself when catching his highlights out of the corner of my eye. I hate that, because often I will run into the corner of a desk, so Elly hurts me often. My fear is he’s going to be hurting many of you. I worry about my boys and five girl readers.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Kyle’s 2024 Season Is A Bradish Best Served Late
February 15, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 84 Commentsby: Grey
“Whoa, how about that Blake Snell deal? What about that Cody Bellinger deal? Can you believe that Matt Chapman deal? This is crazy! Deals be dealin’!” That’s what I would be saying if there were any deals being dealin’. Sadly, the entire sport is being held captive by Scott Boras and “(fill-in team name) is currently not looking at signing any free agents.” The Yankees are one big arm away from having a great team, and instead are like, “Hey, when Rodon can only throw 45 innings, it’s no biggie. We have Luke Weaver.” So, instead of a big signing, we have injury news. Kyle Bradish has a tear in his UCL
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