by: Grey
Lots of times I’ve been known to practice the art of Saberhagenmetrics. A player does well, I back off the next year. A player turns your team into his own private piss bucket and I get excited about his undervaluedness. (<–Made up word of the day!) This isn’t the case with Joey Votto. He, friends, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Tulo!” and now you don’t have baseball or […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The final results are in and I tested negative! Oh, wait, this is for the fantasy baseball leagues. Um, yeah, ignore that first sentence. This year in an unprecedented move of unprecedented size and bubbles. We’re giving away a hot tub to the Fantasy Razzball winner. I believe it’s a time machine too! (It is […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Welcome to the year end Razzball Awards! Or as they call them in New Jersey, the “What’s this crap?” Unlike the ESPYs, you won’t have to wear a tux or listen to Derek Jeter try to be funny. Speaking of Viagra — Vlad’s got one good leg and he’s not wearing a shoe on it. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I was thinking the other day that Jason Heyward is so young that he doesn’t remember George Bush, Sr. being president. I mean, he’s heard of him (I think), but he was only 3-years-old when he left office. Amongst other things, Heyward missed John Travolta’s career downturn with talking babies, Sean Penn protecting Madonna, Timothy […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Andres Torres went 2-for-4 with the delicious slam & legs. My man has slams and legses for days! This is his 2nd homer and 2nd steal since he’s returned from his appendectomy. Somehow he’s a Latin 32, but he played this season like an Asian 52, which isn’t an official Razzball glossary term, but comes […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
This is it, fellas and three girl readers. The last train is leaving the station. The giddy has just about got up and went. It’s your last chance and I’d throw every single pitcher, not just the ones I have listed here if it meant the difference in my league. You need to do what […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I told you two days ago to own Justin Smoak in his series in Texas. Three straight games, three homers. To paraphrase Young MC from We’re All In The Same Gang, “I try my best to set an example, talkin’ up hyped players over hip-hop samples.” (BTW, the M’s lost yesterday when the catcher went […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Kila Ka’aihue went 3-for-3, 4 Runs, 4 RBIs and 2 homers. Also, he just missed a third homer that ended up a triple. Mauna Kila! He hasn’t hit for much average so far in the major leagues. Or is it ma’ajor leagues? His plate discipline is in impeccable and the peasant Royals would be wise […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Miguel Cabrera rolled his ankle the hard way, didn’t make his point and was immediately lifted from the game to have x-rays taken. I have some back-of-a-comic-book x-ray glasses, but I wasn’t wearing them when it happened. I’m only one man! It looked pretty serious. My mom was right, I could’ve been a doctor. There’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yahoo’s fantasy baseball doesn’t count a one game playoff, no matter the format. It would be the Keyser Söze of regular season games, I suppose. ESPN, on the other hand, does count it. So that means only one thing. You need to pick up everyone from potential one game playoff teams before your leaguemates, if […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Matt Cain had a no-hitter through eight innings until an infield single by Jay Payton (who I believe runs with a cane, ironically enough) broke it up. Final line for Cain was 9 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks to bring his season ERA to 2.95. (Fancy metric alert!) Last year, Cain’s xFIP was […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?