While balancing a book on their head, the Blue Jays were poised to call up Brett Lawrie just when he fractured his hand. That’s worst timing than the guy down at your local Chuckles nightclub doing an open mic set. But flip our Supreme Buddha In Funny Poses day calender two months later and the […]
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Sic Pence, So Far None The Richer
July 29, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 62 Commentsby: Grey
Ed Wade’s Toupee has made it clear that he’s trying to move Hunter Pence in a trade. Why would the Astros want to hold onto their best player? He just gives his fans false hope. False hope is worst than no hope. See every movie John Singleton’s done since Boyz n the Hood for examples […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Fantasy Baseball Strategy, How To Pick Up Free Agent Hitters
July 28, 2011 | fantasy baseball strategy | 87 Commentsby: Grey
Is there anything more fulfilling than grabbing a hitter on a short schedule day and he gives you a home run, steal or just an overall quality day? It’s the fantasy baseball equivalent to taking a girl out, she pays and has sex with you (assuming you’re not a paid escort, though I’m pretty sure […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? La Russa Can Now Wear His Rasmus Is An Ass-Munch T-shirt
July 28, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 66 Commentsby: Grey
Some rejected titles were, “Cards Have Jon Jay, Rasmus Have Blue Jays,” “Cards Trade Rasmus For Queen Elizabeth-Visaged Cents On the Dollar,” and “Ervin Santana Threw A No-Hitter, Beltran Was Traded — Hey, Baseball, Spread Some Of Your Breaking Stories Around.” So Colby Rasmus was sent to the Blue Jays, Edwin Jackson was sent to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Gomes Gone So Cincy Can Enter The Wild Red Yonder
July 27, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 161 Commentsby: Grey
Jonny Gomes was acquired by the Washington Nationals. This is exciting for Gomes’s family and any National fans who like to make signs for the games but can’t write the letter H. Gomes will platoon with Nix and, if anything, his value is hurt a bit by the home venue change. The real story is […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Moo Over Parra, Cowgill Is Looking To Make A Splash
July 26, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 163 Commentsby: Grey
Collin Cowgill sounds like a Texas radio personality or a DC Comic character, but is actually the Diamondbacks’ fifth round pick from 2008 that is killing the minor leagues. (That’s the urbandictionary killing, which is actually good. I’m hip, snitches!) In 97 games, 13 homers and 29 steals with a .354 average. It was in […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Desmond Jennings was called up. “No, he wasn’t.” “Yes, he was.” “No.” “Yes!” “Yes!” “No– Wait, I was the one saying yes.” Or so went us, me, you, we for the last two months. Why do we care so much? Because we have a void in our own lives? Oh, you meant it more why […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Jeff Niemann has always been a sell in your eyes. The light, the heat… Your eyes. The low K-rate, the walks… Your eyes. The luck with homers per fly balls, the tough division… Your eyes. So why am I saying Niemann’s a buy? Am I sniffing the devil’s dandruff and just need to talk while […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Cleveland Can No Longer Witness But They Can Kipnis
July 22, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 64 Commentsby: Grey
They tore down the Lebron ‘Witness’ billboards in Cleveland. If only they waited a year, they could’ve changed them to Kipnis. And pasted it in Kipnis’s face. And, um, covered up Lebron’s body, replaced the basketball with a baseball….okay, scratch all that. Who’s to even say this Kipnis kid is great enough for a billboard […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Fantasy Baseball, The Trading Deadline
July 21, 2011 | fantasy baseball strategy | 108 Commentsby: Grey
Fantasy baseball trading deadlines are right around the corner, time is slipping…slipping…slipping into the future and your fantasy baseball teams need to lose yesterday’s lunch or get off the pot. The worst feeling is coming within a few points of winning and pulling up short because you held too tightly to your players. In October, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Drewsome Scene Leads To Ransom Note
July 21, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 84 Commentsby: Grey
Stephen Drew to postpone all ballroom dancing classes for six to nine months with a fractured ankle. His wife Nancy isn’t gonna be happy. More time for mystery solving! If you haven’t seen the video of Stephen Drew, I’d wait for it on the big screen in Faces of Death: The Drew Edition, which will […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Giants Reclaim The Brandonship Belt
July 20, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 211 Commentsby: Grey
The Giants brought Brandon Belt back up from the minors where he was batting .293 with 3 homers in 12 games in July. Last time he was recalled it was the Giants doing their best fill-a-Buster and Belt was a bench bat. The time before that he was promoted and forgot his game back in […]
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