by: Grey
Since everyone loves a good schadenfreude session, I figured I’d let you look at our teams, point and laugh. Hey, at least you have your ‘stache! Thanks, Random Italicized Voice. Anyway, here’s our fantasy baseball teams and how they’re currently doing: Yahoo Friends & Family (host: Brandon Funston of Yahoo!) — 14 team, mixed, 5×5, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I contemplated picking up Lonnie Chisenhall for about as long as it takes me to eat a pupusa from my neighborhood El Salvadorean lady that has different hairnets to match her camisas. About 12.7 seconds. I’ll risk indigestión for those cheesy-pork flapjacks of wonderful. At the waiver wire, I was like, “So many rookies have […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The horrid season for Shin-Soo Choo continues. He’s probably wishing he just went the Bob Feller-Inglorious Basterd route and did his required military time this year in his home country. Kevin Correia said, “We could’ve used him.” Now when Choo gets blotto he can’t even hitchhike home from one side of the road. An optimistic […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Recently, I had the pleasure of doing karaoke with Johnny Cueto. He decided to go with Landslide by Fleetwood Mac. Here’s what he sang, “I took my ERA and I took it down…. I climbed a mountain and I turned around… And I saw my xFIP in the snow covered hills… Well, I’ve been afraid of […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The A’s promoted Chris Carter. Too bad Chris Carter wasn’t around when Mulder was pitching for the A’s. Then they could’ve had Scully call the game. Chris Berman looked at his stats and says, “All Chris Carter does is hit home runs!” which means he’ll kill your average, won’t steal bases, and probably won’t help […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I usually like to wait a couple of months into the season to look at some of the catchers that couldn’t throw out your grandma even if she loses the tennis balls off her walker. (What is the deal with those tennis balls? I feel like that’s the kinda nonsense thing that would have a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Jhoulys Chacin was walking more yesterday than my grandfather on a treadmill behind a hot number (his words). Yo-leash’s line 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (6 walks), 7 Ks. Am I worried that Chacin isn’t going to have a sub-3 ERA all year? Yeah, of course, I’m worried. What, am I delusional? Am […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?SAT Question: Albert Pujols is to a fractured forearm as Justin Morneau is to playing every day in 2011 and you can’t take him out of your lineup. Only thing worse for Cardinal fans is if Don Denkinger announced Pujols’s fractured forearm while wearing a Wilson Betemit jersey. We never get Pujols in any leagues. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Wilson Betemit collided with Albert Pujols and… Why is Wilson Betemit playing?! He never plays. Doesn’t your Quad-A Beer Pong Tournament partner, Shelley Duncan, need you for a tourney? Manzo! (Which is my new favorite exclamation that means nothing.) Another tough break (strain?) for a high draft pick. You high draft picks remind me of […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Jair Jurrjens has a xFIP of 3.64 and a K-rate of 5.23. Sounds like you should brave the trade winds with Jar-Jar. Or maybe I should say, “Wash that Jurrjens right outta your Jair!” Okay, breathe, Grey, you got puns, I get it. You’re right, random italicized voice, lost my shizz there for a second. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
J.J. Hardy has been hotter than a Latin woman frying chorizo in the Sahara desert. Why she is in the Sahara is fodder for a J.J. Abrams movie. In 2008, Hardy hit 24 homers and .283 in his fourth big league season. Then poof. Nothing. He vanished. Or did he? It’s the real Hardy Boy […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The other day I looked at the pitchers that were getting lucky for fantasy baseball. Today, we hold that up to the mirror and see how the other half lives. Last time I looked at the starters that were being unlucky the list included: Dempster, Garza, Wood, Liriano, Narveson, Ervin, Gallardo, Daniel Hudson, Bumgarner and […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?