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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”397243″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 1″]

So, Rudy says to me, “You should get into a Best-Ball league?”  And I replied, “Is that a fantasy league where everyone drafts in blue Polos like you work at Best Buy?”  Then I saw those three little dots like he was typing something, then they disappeared.  Then I saw the three dots again, and, alas, they disappeared again. Finally, he responded, “You don’t think that do you?”  After googling what Best-Ball was, I replied, “No, jokes, man, jokes!”  So, I got myself in my first Best-Ball league.  Everyone likely knows what it is, but, if you don’t, it’s when you draft a team and the computer manages it for you by choosing who are the best players, and you get those stats.  It’s basically one fantasy league removed from the robots taking over and killing us all. Drafting with me in my league was Elon Musk, Issac Asimov–Okay, I keed.  Anyway, here’s my NFBC Best-Ball, Points League, 10 team draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”378040″ player=”10951″ title=”2019 Razzball Draft Kit Top 5 Busts”]

Jose Ramirez fouled a ball off his knee and was carted off the field.  *long, painful swallow*  Say what now?  Thankfully, it turned out Jose Ramirez simply has a knee contusion and was carted off the field because he had reached his steps for the day.  *claps hands*  “Okay, guys, call me a cab, my FitBit says I’m done-zo.”  That’s Jose Ramirez once he reaches 10,000 steps.  I hear ya, Jo-Ram!  I once sat down on an escalator because I had reached my “floors” for the day.  I’m not over-exercising and dying young.  Nuh-uh!  You don’t mess with age expectancy.  I’m already down on Ramirez in a non-sexual way, so this doesn’t change my stance on him, and, if you like him, it doesn’t sound like it should change your feelings either, since he appears healthy.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”377153″ player=”10951″ title=”2019 Razzball Draft Kit Starting Pitchers”]

Today concludes the fantasy baseball sleepers‘ portion of our program.  *nudges homeless woman sleeping on my couch that I tried to get Cougs to agree to a threesome with*  No more sleepers, Francine.  Meh, I’ll let her rest.  Like the outfielders to target, this post is necessary.  You need to target the right names at the end of the draft for starters.  Last year’s starters to target post included Jameson Taillon, Blake Snell, Charlie Morton, Miles Mikolas, Trevor Williams and Patrick Corbin.  All guys who this year are in the top 40 for starters, with two making the jump to my top 20 starters., and, one, well, can you believe ESPN ranked Snell 242nd overall last year?  Also, on a side note, Fantasy Pros recently talked about ‘perts who had foresaw breakouts last year, and they didn’t mention Blake Snell (or Jo-Ram or Acuña), but mentioned Jose Urena, Jared Hughes and Wade LeBlanc by three writers from sites that help or support them.  Not to get too aluminum-foil-hat-wearing here, but, if you don’t think they have an agenda with who they highlight, you’re not seeing the big picture.  As with other target posts, these guys are being drafted after the top 200 overall.  Anyway, here’s some starters to target for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Domingo Santana (1-for-5 with a grand slam) is already in beast mode.  That beast is a dingo, emphasis on ding, as in dinger, and you can’t spell Domingo without dong, but this dingo eats dongs not babies, and I’ve got smoke coming out my ears….We have real baseball!  Then, tomorrow we won’t have real baseball again for a week.  MLB is so crackers it’s staying at the Ritz by the water, Cheez-it, Mary and Joseph!  “Happy Opening Day two days later,” said the Time Zone to the Baseball Fan.  I can’t wait to see how Mike Fiers (3 IP, 5 ER) and Marco Gonzales (6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks) react to pitching in a game, then taking a 56-hour plane flight home to pitch again in a week.  Their combined 89 MPH fastballs are gonna have some jet lag.  Hopefully, their elbows won’t.  The Stream-o-Nator wasn’t thrilled with either pitcher, and neither was great.  Yes, the Stream-o-Nator is back!  The only real takeaway I have from these games is the A’s are at least thinking similarly to me, and that Ramon Laureano (0-for-5, 3 Ks) is the best man for the A’s leadoff job.  I’ll toast to that!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This preseason is weird.  Games have started, but not really.  Due to the unlikely nature of the preseason, I’ve decided to delve into the wholly unlikely with some bold predictions.  I’m not sure if I’ve ever done a bold predictions post before, because, it is a very stupid post.  Do you say things like, “Cameron Maybin will hit 175 homers?”  Which is bold, but absurd.  Or do you say Daniel Palka will be a top 40 outfielder, which, I guess is bold, but I’ve already written a Daniel Palka sleeper post, so, while bold, I think it’s more realistic.  In other words, whose definition of bold are we using?  Some pussyfooters strutting around like they’ve got Brad Peacock’s plummage and saying Bryce Harper will be a top 10 outfielder or some legit peacocks who are brushing back their feathered hair in their El Dorados saying Ronald Guzman will hit 30 homers?  I honestly don’t know.  This is also why when people go back in October and say, “So, um *clears throat* I had three of my ten bold predictions come true.  The first one was Realmuto won’t be the number one catcher.  Yadda blabba bloo!”  *farts into hand*  It’s total nonsense.  Realmuto won’t be the number one catcher has like a 90% chance of happening and is not bold.  I’m gonna go crazy bold!  Let’s get ready to grumble!  Anyway, here’s some 2019 fantasy baseball bold predictions:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”374875″ player=”10951″ title=”2019 Razzball Draft Kit Outfielders”]

We (me) have gone over the catchers2nd basemenshortstops and 3rd basemen to target, cause I have to do everything around here!  Look at me, throwing shade like a beach umbrella!  That makes sense…if you don’t think about it!  That’s what I want my bumper sticker to say, and then when I step out of my car, I want my clever t-shirt to say it too, “That makes sense….if you don’t think about it.”  How can I arrange my life so this happens?  I need a personal assistant.  “So, it says you worked as Kanye’s assistant and you bought mirrors for nine months straight….”  That’s me checking the CV of my favorite imaginary assistant.  Okay, so this post is all the outfielders that are being drafted after 200 overall that elicit uber-sexy feelings.  Last year, I featured Mitch Haniger, Stephen Piscotty, David Dahl, and Michael Taylor, who I’ve featured every year since 1922, but not this year!  Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Canada) supplement to the top 100 outfielders for 2019 fantasy baseball.  Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2019 projections.   Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

At one point in Sunday’s draft, Andy Behrens said to me, “I can’t believe you went to $3 on Peter O’Brien.  That’s not on brand for you.”  You know what; he’s right.  Shame on me for briefly going off brand. Even if it was for a millisecond between bids $2 and $3 on the 35-year-old rookie, Peter O’Brien, who has more holes in his swing than Swiss cheese at a shooting range.  Maybe the, um, spirit of drafting on St. Patty’s Day overcame me.  Maybe I was hoping O’Brien could make me some hurricanes while I waded in my kiddie pool this summer.  It’s Andy Behrens’s brand to draft terrible players.  That’s not my brand.  I realized that soon enough, Dear Reader.  Andy went to $4 and I let him have O’Brien.  I suppose if things break right, O’Brien will retire at some point this summer and look kindly on Behrens for drafting him, then offer his services as a babysitter.  I don’t need a babysitter; my wife is like a decade older than me!  Okay, I’m about to drop on you one of the sexiest NL-Only teams. You might want to place an extra-wide condom over your head, before I impregnate your eyes.  Anyway, here’s my Tout Wars 12-team, NL-Only draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When I was writing up the 2019 fantasy baseball rankings in December/January — or simply Janember — I couldn’t imagine what February and March had in store — ya know, Farch. Players come out of nowhere in Spring Training to cause us to stop and take notice.  Of course, I just told you to ignore Spring Training stats.  This is true; Spring Training stats are a lot like my pants; they are propped up by a small sample size.  However, or howmever if you’re trying to sound smart, it is important to stay on top of guys who are fighting, and winning, everyday jobs.  Of course, with my Oracle third eye, I saw all of this back in Janember, but my third eye got into a spat with my first and second eye at the optometrist’s office.  My first and second eye were taking the eye test and my third eye was like, “ECFYE–Yo, this shizz is way too easy,” and then my 2nd and 3rd eyes were like, “You’re like the Felicity Huffman of eyes and your cheating is going to have us incorrectly placed with better lenses than we should have.”  It got ugly, and they refused to work together to type up this post for a few weeks.  Finally, they all came to their senses — the sense of sight, specifically — hashed it out at a Friendly’s over a Fribble and we’re all good.  Never the hoo!  With Farch turning into a full-fledged March, it’s time for me to let you in on some thoughts and changes to the 2019 fantasy baseball rankings and what they could mean for your drafts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Baseball, like a flower, blooms in the spring.  They also share equally effusive PR people.  Just the other day I read about how a petunia’s branches gained 15 pounds and was in the best shape of its life.  Sure, it’s always good to look at spring training numbers to give you an idea what you can expect from guys during the season — can I draft Adalberto Mondesi yet?!  Players in spring training are facing the top pitchers who are all displaying their best stuff.  No one needs time to get warmed up.  No one’s trying new pitches or getting a feel for the ball.  They are at the height of their game in the beginning of March.  Our former commissioner, Bud, once doffed his toupee and tried to have the World Series played in March.  Since these spring training numbers mean so much, I decided to look at some players stats so far:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”374500″ player=”10951″ title=”2019 Razzball Draft Kit 3rd basemen”]

Excuse the exposition and this clunky intro into aforementioned exposition, but here’s the catchers to target1st basemen to target2nd basemen to targetshortstops to target and something to stick to your dartboards to target.  These 3rd basemen to target are being drafted after 200 overall.  Keep in mind, nephew (and five niece readers), your Uncle Grey likes to have a corner man drafted by the time these guys appear, so you’re looking at potential utility men more than anything.  Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Indonesia) supplement to the top 20 3rd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.  Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2019 projections.  Speaking of baseball (best segue ever!), the Stream-o-Nator, Hitter-Tron and DFSBot are now available, i.e., the Razzsubscriptions.  Anyway, here’s some 3rd basemen to target for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”373879″ player=”10951″ title=”2019 Razzball Draft Kit Shortstops”]

Some of the highlights of this post last year were Tim Anderson, Gleyber Torres, Amed Rosario and Marcus Semien.  Then there were guys like Addison Russell and Chad Pinder — or simply Chaddison — and *raspberries lips*  So they’re not all winners, but 2nd basemen to target and the shortstops are necessary evils like changing your underwear.  Whether you want to or not, it is a good idea to take a flyer on a late middle infielder, and you should still expect to get crapped on.  That metaphor was like the yodeling guy in The Price is Right.  This is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Lichtenstein) supplement to the top 20 shortstops for 2019 fantasy baseball.  The players listed have a draft rank after 200 on other sites.  Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2019 projections.  Anyway, here’s some shortstops to target for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A Loch Ness Monster waits nervously in a doctor’s office.  He turns to his left to a unicorn.  “What brought you in here?”  “I was having a weird pang behind my horn for a few weeks while in Candyland, and I went for an MRI when they found a growth.”  The unicorn chokes back its fears, finishing, “I’m having a biopsy.  You?”  The Loch Ness Monster hands the unicorn a tissue, then, through tears, “I’ve been pooping this tar-like substance, and they’re not sure…what…it…is.”  As the the two of them sob uncontrollably, they look across the receptionist area to Vladimir Guerrero Jr.  The unicorn fights through tears and asks, “Why are you at the National Institute of Made-Up Injuries and Diseases?”  “The Jays said I had an oblique injury to delay my free agency.”  So, Vlad Guerrero Jr. has an oblique injury, which, honestly, is likely a real injury, but doesn’t sound serious.  Maybe it is just an aching venient injury.  Who knows.  I’ve been saying for a while that I’m not drafting Vlad, due to his ADP, and wrote a Vladimir Guerrero Jr. schmohawk, so this doesn’t affect me a ton.  Nor his MLB ETA.  He wasn’t starting the year with the Jays either way.  I haven’t changed his projections or ranking in my top 20 3rd basemen, though there have been a bunch of changes in my rankings, so let’s get to it.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?