Twins aren’t winning. Twins haven’t won all year, actually. You can look it up. They’re 0-for-2011. But Ben Revere wants to steal bases for no reason. I love that. I’d prefer my fantasy players act selfishly and just try to inflate their own value. Maybe that’s lame, but we’re talking about fantasy baseball. We’re not talking about getting chicks with your IROC. When a player tries to inflate his own value, it helps us fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!). With so many players shut down or resting for the playoffs, the best thing we can hope for right now is someone who just wants some stats. Revere is the player. In the last week, Revere is hitting .464 with 5 runs, 4 RBIs and 3 steals. In the last ten games, he has 7 steals. (BTW, the Twins lost each of those ten games. Ha!) He’s not glamorous, you’re not going to want to keep him for next year (outside of very deep leagues that have a “Must Have A Ben” clause), but if you need steals, grab him quick. Now if only Revere played for the Red Sox, it would be like a player on the Yanks named Sam Yonkers. Or a Jimmy Burbank on the Dodgers. Or Sadaharu Tacoma on the Mariners. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Mike Carp - He’s hitting .400 over the last week with two homers. This from our frequent commenter, Rabbit, “So how much of a team can you fill up with fish-themed players? You’ve got Carp, Trout, and Anthony Bass. I’d say you can include Jason Bay and Dan, Tim and Kyle Hudson (but not Vernon Wells – the first two bodies of water contain fish, the other better not) and maybe one of the Thames (whichever one pronounces his name like the river). Jerry Sands and Brandon Beachy seem a close enough fit. If you push it a bit, your catcher could be Pierzynski (Where do you fish from? The pier, Zynski.), and maybe you could have Wilson “Exxon” Valdez (he sure killed a lot of fish).”
Nolan Reimold – Has three homers and three steals in the last ten games. Sure, he’s flopped a bunch in the past, but who are you to judge Reimold? Fred Savage?
Jerry Sands – Him and Bugsy helped build Vegas and now Sands is hitting .458 over the last week with 2 homers.
Salvador Perez – In his short time in the majors, he’s hitting .344 with 2 homers. In the even shorter time of the last week, he’s hitting .579 with one homer. In the even shortest time of his last at-bat, he’s 1-for-1. That’s batting one thousand! Use Ted Williams’s frozen medulla oblongata and carve out Perez’s Hall of Fame plaque!
John Mayberry Jr. – With the Phils clinched, Mayberry’s seeing more time and hitting (.409 with 2 homers in the last week). It’s Mayberry BFD.
Joel Peralta – Farnsworth should return today, but you never know what can happen, except there will be a plague of locust as we know from The Book of Joel Peralta.
Greg Holland – Besides the saves (which he is getting now), he’s had a much better year than Soria. How’s dem apples? Delicious!
Mike Aviles – Starting at 3rd base for the Sawx over the last week and he’s hitting .385 with 2 homers. Last September, he had 6 homers and hit .357. I accept this H2H trophy on behalf of all the men and women in the Armed Forces, and Mike Aviles.
Eric Young Jr. – Do I dare recommend him again? I dare, I dare. Do you care to pick him up again? You care, you care. Do you have someone to change your baby’s diaper? Au pair, au pair.
Mike Moustakas – Over the last seven days, he has 2 homers and is hitting .500. Finally, someone sprayed some Windex on his bat.
Lonnie Chisenhall – It seems inevitable that all of these guys that are hitting in September are going to be overrated next March. Cust kayin’.
Brent Morel – Not only is he hitting (4 homers in the last ten games) but he seems like a funghi.
Cory Luebke - If you want a list of starters for the last week of the season, head over to the borderline fantasy starter post. I wrote it while covering my eyes during the elevator scene in Drive.
SELL
Joakim Soria – I don’t think he’s going to pitch again this year. Seriously, no Joakim.
Mitch Moreland – Before he just wasn’t hitting, now he’s not playing. You see how that could hurt his value? I.e., stop your Mitchin’.
Brett Lawrie – You guys will always have those moments you shared. No one can take those from you. Not even the IRS.
Troy Tulowitzki – Unlike previous years, the Rockies threw up the white flag in late August. Hey, on the bright side, you don’t need a huge September from Tulo to make his season worthwhile.
Carlos Gonzalez – Probably done for the year. His season ending stats are 92/26/92/.295/20. My preseason projections were 90/24/95/.285/20. Is that a boo-ya? Or just boo-ya adjacent?
Anyone that is not going to help you win right now – There’s no time left, drop anyone that is not playing and add players that are. Now excuse me while I go see Moneyball. BTW, I’d love to hear a review of Moneyball by Joe Morgan. “Is that John Kruk playing opposite Brad Pitt? He was excellent! I didn’t know he could play so Jewish.”
Ian Kennedy loves each and everyone. That’s why he gave you 12 Ks yesterday over 8 innings while only allowing one hit. You say, “No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t even know me. How could he love me?” You remember when you couldn’t find a parking spot at Chick-fil-A last week and you were about to give up when a chicken sandwich fell into the flat bed of your El Camino? That was dropped there by Ian Kennedy. So you tell me he doesn’t love you. You tell me he doesn’t love you when he has a sub-3 ERA over 216 innings. Tell me that. A 1.08 WHIP and 194 Ks, he gives you that too, unconditionally. Tell me he judges you when you try to fashion a belt out of twine. He doesn’t judge you. He loves you. Love him back. I do. As for 2012 fantasy baseball, I’m thinking Kennedy could be a tad overpriced. Yeah, my love just went out the window. His BABIP’s a bit low and his LOB% is a bit high. She says she likes the ocean. I’ll look at him more in-depth over the offseason, but he’s got FIPping problems I need evaluate. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Wily Mo Pena – 1-for-1 with 3 walks. He has a career .303 OBP. That’s like an 80 to 1 shot he can avoid making an out in four at-bats. There must be a kid in a Seattle hospital who really cares about OBP. (BTW, his hometown was the winner of the “Best Town To Substitute Into The Lion King Song” contest.)
Mike Carp – 2-for-4, 5 RBIs and a homer. Now has two homers in the last three games. The one nice thing about playing for a non-contender at this time of year is the collective you has nothing to play for so players can go out and be selfish to prove their worth. Unlike those silly playoff teams saving their players for games that matter.
Alex Liddi – 2-for-4 with a homer and he became the first paisan born in Italy to play in the major leagues in 50 years. That’s a one spicy prospect!
Asdrubal Cabrera – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 23rd homer. Has tailed off quite a but after the ASB (.233, 5 steals), but his power numbers have stayed fairly consistent. Definitely peaked in May but 4 homers in August isn’t too shabby.
Chris Parmelee – 2-for-5 with his 2nd homer in three games as he bats .368 through 38 ABs. In related roundup news, Alex Liddi likes to call him Chris Parm.
Ben Revere – 3-for-5 with 2 steals. Now has 32 steals and is getting dangerously close to the point where he’s going to elicit questions next year. “Hey, Grey, magnificent ‘stache. Magnificent! So what do you think of Ben Revere? Obvious bargain, right?” A guy with no power, around 30 steal speed is a dime a dozen in most mixed leagues. Good waiver wire pickup is different than a good draft pick.
Ricky Romero – 9 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. Similarly to Kennedy, he has some FIPping issues too. We’ll look at in the offseason. We’ll debate, we’ll laugh, we’ll cry, we’ll scratch ourselves, we’ll scratch someone else thinking it’s ourselves.
Craig Kimbrel – 2/3 IP, 2 ER. Bad week to quit closing out games.
Troy Tulowitzki – Getting closer to getting back on the field after taking batting practice and participating in other baseball activities. Ya know, like spitting and grabbing himself.
Cory Luebke – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks. Even if this start was in Coors, it was another solid year for Hodgepadres, and next year I’m definitely drafting only Padres pitchers on one team. I gotta try it before the apocalypse.
Octavio Dotel – Got the save yesterday. Motte came in for the ninth, messed around and gave up a triple, double, but it was not a good day. La Russa lifted him with the bases empty and now who knows who’s the closer. My guess is it’s still Motte, but we shall see. Or not. Or probably.
Jarrod Parker – Was officially called up yesterday. I already went over my Jarrod Parker fantasy. I wrote it while waiting in line at the DMV to have them change my height from five-seven to five-eight.
Mariano Rivera – Everyone’s heard by now that he broke Trevor Hoffman’s save record. Surprised there wasn’t more made of this, but another record was broken yesterday. Kerry Wood was deemed “done for the season” before the end of the season for a record 11 of 13 seasons.
Matt Angle – 3-for-8 with 2 steals in the doubleheader. Far from an exciting name, but if you’re desperate for steals, he should get them over the next week-plus. That’s your Angle.
Jed Lowrie – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs, 3 runs and a homer. Hasn’t been playing because of a bum shoulder. Try some soap and getting rid of the shopping cart filled with junk. He’s back now and, if his bat is hot, the Sawx will play him.
Geovany Soto – 3-for-3, 5 RBIs and 2 homers. I’ve been behind the scenes at Razzball HQ preparing the end of the season lists that will come in October and Soto wasn’t even in the top 20 catchers. Though one big night may change that. That was what they call a tease.
Mike Stanton – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and 2 homers. After the game, he dedicated the 2nd home run to his biggest fan. Me. At least that’s how I cut the interview together with my iMovie.
Omar Infante – 2-for-5 and his 6th homer. Nobody puts Infante in the corner.
Brad Hand – With the innings starting to creep up, the Marlins might shut him down. Right now, the Marlins are talking to the Hand.
Luke Hochevar – After high school, Hochevar was selected in the 39th round of the 2002 draft by the Los Angeles Dodgers. To hell with that, he said, I’m going to Tennessee to follow Arrested Development and Tee Martin.
It turned out to be a darn good choice for Hochevar. In 2005, he set a school record for strikeouts, was named SEC player of the year and took home the prestigious Roger Clemens Award (given to the top D-I pitcher). For reasons unknown (wink), the award was discontinued in 2009 after only six years in existence. In addition to Hochevar, the other award winners are Jered Weaver, Andrew Miller, David Price and Aaron Crow.
Following his acclaimed college career, the Dodgers drafted Hochevar again, though this time in the first round (although 40th overall). As with so many other amateur players who are “advised” by Scott Boras, Hochevar’s negotiation with the Dodgers was long and contentious. At one point, Hochevar actually dumped Boras for another agent and accepted a $2.98 million signing bonus. The next day, however, Hochevar reunited with Boras and promptly reneged on the deal. Suffice it to say, nobody should have been surprised when the signing deadline passed and Hochevar was not a Dodger.
Hochevar re-entered the draft in 2006 and was selected first overall by Kansas City. The Royals showed him the money; Hochevar signed a four-year major league deal worth $5.3 million guaranteed, which included a $3.5 million signing bonus and additional incentives worth $1.7 million.
Hochevar began his professional career in 2007 (after being rated the #32 best prospect), pitching 152 innings between AA and AAA. Unfortunately, he didn’t fare all that well at either level. In AA, he had a 4.69 ERA, 1.45 WHIP, but an incredibly impressive 3.62 K:BB rate. At AAA, he had a 5.12 ERA, 1.28 WHIP and less impressive 2.10 K:BB rate. Still, he was only 23.
In 2008, Hochevar, now the #63 best prospect, showed some impressive chops in AAA in the Pacific Coast League, a tough hitter’s league. He impressed the brass so much that he was promoted to the woeful major league squad. He didn’t get much of a welcome basket though, as he teammates gave him the lowest run support of any major league pitcher (2.8 runs per game). Still, it wasn’t entirely his teammate’s fault that he had a 6-12 record. He had a miserable 5.02 K/9 rate and an even more miserable 3.28 BB/9 rate, i.e. a 1.52 K:BB rate – that won’t cut it. His bullpen didn’t help much (62.3% strand rate) either.
Undeterred, the Royals continued to run him out there every fifth day in 2009. While his ERA was worse, the underlying numbers suggested Hochevar actually took a small step forward. He had a 6.67 K/9 rate, a 2.90 BB/9 rate and a 2.30 K:BB rate – something that could work on the major league level. He gave up a few more HRs than would seem logical, had a somewhat inflated BABIP (.321 compared to .300 for his career) and an even worse strand rate (59.3%) than in 2008.
Prior to 2010, the claim could be made that that Hochevar was improving, albeit incrementally. Well, if you look at his 2010 round numbers – 4.81 ERA and 1.43 WHIP – it sure looks like the same ole crapola. However, he maintained a K:BB rate above 2.0 and his FIP was 3.93 (xFIP was 4.09) – certainly subtly positive signs.
Unfortunately, the incremental progress has stalled almost completely in 2011. His K/9 rate (5.12) is back in the sewer and his HRs are up. He has his first south-of-.300 BABIP, yet is wasting it completely.
I really thought, at this point, Hochevar would be an average MLB starter, someone in the Jeremy Guthrie mold who could do some nice things. While this belief has not come to fruition, it is still possible for him to take the necessary step forward.
Over his last 32.2 IPs and five starts, Hochevar has 26 Ks, a 3.58 ERA and a 1.19 WHIP. He has walked just 10 batters. There is some momentum with Hochevar that I find appealing, especially in deep leagues where you have to gain some Ks from unlikely sources. (This was written before his latest start against the Boston Red Sox, which wasn’t great: 6 IPs, five ER, eight hits, three walks and four Ks. Still, going back to July 3, he has pitched 47.2 IPs with a 4.72 ERA and 37 Ks to 19 walks and he has the 30th most Ks over the last 30 days. )
He’s still barely a match-ups plays. However, if he keeps this up, he could be a nice bargain now and in 2012. Plus, you get to say Hochevar, which I find fun. It reminds me of a fine cheese like manchego.
Mike Carp – If you don’t know the story of Mike Carp (for some reason I feel like I’m beginning the narration of Big Fish), well, sit a-spell. Also, how could you not know the ins and outs of the New York Mets 2004 ninth round draft pick? In 2005, and just 19 years old, Carp hit 19 bombs over 89 games in A ball. The following season, at the A+ level, he posted a .287/.379/.450 line and won the Sterling Award as the Mets organization player of the year.
Following this early success, Carp seemed destined to eventually win a job with the parent club. Unfortunately, he broke his finger in 2007 and stumbled to a .251/.337/.387 line in AA.
Repeating AA in 2008, and now 22, Carp returned to form: .299/.403/.471 – yep, a .400+ OBP and 17 HRs. He was on his way…to Seattle.
On December 11, 2008, Carp, as part of a three team deal, was sent to Seattle along with a few other guys including Jason Vargas, Endy Chavez and Aaron Heilman for what amounted to J.J. Putz (the ghost of Jeremy Reed’s prospect was also involved).
Carp spent most of his time in AAA for the Mariners and looked good, going .271/.372/.446 with 15 HRs in 110 games. I know I had an eye on him when he made his major league debut, especially after he went .315/.415/.463 in his first 65 MLB plate appearances.
However, it wasn’t enough to get Carp full time duties in 2010 and he was sent back to AAA. Carp scuffled the entire season (though he showed some fantastic power), going .257/.328/.516 and notching just seven hits in 41 plate appearances in the Show. Of course, Carp, after posting BABIPs well over .300 the last previous seasons in minors, finished with just a .259 average on balls in play.
The bloom was definitely not off the rose yet. Carp came out blazing in 2011, hitting .347/.414/.653 in AAA with 21 HRs in just 66 games. He hasn’t stopped in the majors either: .325/.382/.517 with six homers in 40 games.
While I’ve been overwhelmingly positive about Carp, I must mention the gargantuan elephant in the room: his .410 BABIP. He does have an unprecedented 29.7% line drive rate, but he is swinging and missing a ton: 14.9% and striking out a fair bit: 24.2%. It’s only a matter of time before major league pitchers make the adjustment and give him the Delmon Young treatment (i.e., nothing good to hit). Still, the kid is capable of taking a pitch and should be able to handle that bump. Until that bump comes, however, you need to be starting him in most every league. He is that locked in. I haven’t been this excited since Kevin Bass went .244/.303/.336 for the Orioles in 1995, and then promptly retired.
Brandon McCarthy – About seven years ago, Brandon McCarthy was on his way to being better known than Andrew McCarthy. As a 20-year-old, splitting time between A, A+ and AAA, McCarthy, a former 17th round draft pick of the White Sox in 2002, posted a 3.14 ERA and 0.95 WHIP. He struck out 202 batters in just 172 innings and walked only 30. He had a 6.73 K:BB rate.
Before 2005, McCarthy was rated the #49 prospect and looked good at AAA: 3.92 ERA, 1.14 WHIP, 9.8 K/9 rate and 4.06 K:BB rate. He was brought up to the major league club, appeared in 12 games and started 10. If you looked at the cosmetics, his 4.03 ERA and 1.18 WHIP certainly foretold greatness. However, he had a .249 BABIP, an 81.2% strand rate and only posted a 6.45 K/9 rate.
The White Sox didn’t want to stress the young hurler, so they kept him in the bullpen for most of 2006. His strikeout rates benefitted, but he walked more guys and didn’t resemble anything near a top 50 prospect – finishing with a 4.68 ERA, 5.30 FIP and 4.60 xFIP.
In the offseason, he was shipped to Texas for, predominantly, John Danks and Nick Masset – that one didn’t work out so well for Rangers.
McCarthy posted dismal K numbers during his first year with Texas and increased his walks, some of which might have been due to injury. After just 22 starts, the Rangers shut McCarthy down due to a stress fracture in his right shoulderblade.
McCarthy developed inflammation in his right elbow during Spring Training the next year and missed a sizeable chunk of the season. He pitched in the majors sparingly for Texas in 2009, but his time with the major league squad was done after that season. Overall, he pitched just 221 IPs with a 4.68 ERA, 1.44 WHIP and 1.46 K:BB ratio for the big league club. He was worth barely one win above a replacement player during his tenure.
He did pitch 56 innings in the minors in 2010 for the Rangers. He looked good: 3.36 ERA, 1.10 WHIP and a 4.00 K:BB ratio. However he was granted free agency on November 5, 2010.
The Oakland Athletics made a play for McCarthy and signed him on December 14, 2010.
While battling chronic injuries, McCarthy has been a boon to a beleaguered Athletics rotation. He has taken the ball 18 times now, spread across 118 innings – the most he has pitched in the majors in any season. He has his same old pedestrian K-rate (5.87) but he has really cut down on his walks (just 1.37), giving himself a fantastic 4.28 K:BB rate. Apparently pitching in a more forgiving ballpark has given McCarthy the confidence to just throw strikes.
While his strand rate is a little generous (63.7%), it is mostly due to a stellar bullpen and a lack of homeruns – two things that seem to be constants for the A’s. His ERA (3.74), FIP (2.82) and xFIP (3.39) all paint a rosy picture for the one-time stud.
McCarthy, just recently 28, is a nice pitcher who can help control your ratios down the stretch. He’s a prefect compliment to someone like Bud Norris or Ryan Dempster, who bring the Ks, but also the high ratios. He is only 19% owned, so go out and get him for the stretch run.
Took a few years, but the Twins found out that youth is wasted on the Young as they sang, “May You Stay (Away) Forever, Young.” Yesterday, the Detroit Tigers became the first club to acquire both Meat Hooks. A distinction that I’m not sure other clubs wanted. It’s not like we can look at his stats this year and say Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome was stifling him either. Delmon Young had 3 homers in away games this year in 157 ABs. That’s pathetic. That’s the same number of away homers as Carlos Ruiz. That’s the same number of homers Pence hit in the last ten games. Sure, Young had a good 2010, but that was preceded by three miserable years. Yet, he a fresh start, and he seems like the type that will be happy in new surroundings, until the novelty wears off. (See, he needs to find happiness within, but we’ll leave that to Deepak Chopra.) To show his happiness, he hit a homer yesterday, creaming the ball in his first at-bat after getting squeezed out of Twinkie town. To boil this down into something that could fit on a fortune cookie, I’d pick up Delmon to see if his newfound happiness can last a month-plus. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brennan Boesch – I was gonna tell ya’ll that Boesch’s playing time wouldn’t be hurt by the acquisition of Delmon, but then Boesch went and hurt his thumb and will miss a few games. I think when he returns he’ll be back in the lineup with Magglio Ordonez moving to a backup role. Though Leyland is so old school that he doesn’t even change his lineup — “Hey, Boesch is usually our three hitter and he’s out, so let’s put Delmon right in there” — so I wouldn’t count on Cancer Man sitting the vet. In other words, it’s all up in the air with a capital Clooney.
Ryan Raburn – 1-for-5 with his 11th home run. With Guillen doing what Guillen does best (toasting Pop Tarts while injured — I’m guessing this is what most ballplayers do while injured, don’t know for sure), Raburn should see most of the starts at 2nd base. If he rattled off one good month, it would surprise me less than his five bad months.
Brian Wilson – 2/3 IP, 3 ER after giving himself the green light to pitch. Sorta like the exec who gave Ishtar the green light. Hey, old timey reference, good to see you! Romo’s out for real with an elbow something-or-other, so if you’re desperate for vulture saves I’d grab Ram-Ram or Affeldt. Those aren’t ringing endorsements.
Pablo Sandoval – Left the game after a foul off his foot. His teammates said this wasn’t the first time someone had to leave somewhere because of a foul coming off Pablo’s foot.
Nate Schierholtz - The man whose last name is German for pantyhose has gone deep in back-to-back games. When he gets hot (for about a week or so), he gets hot.
Jim Thome – Hit his 600th home run yesterday. Someone who hasn’t followed baseball since 1995 is really impressed.
Francisco Liriano – 6 IP, 5 ER and the conshellation win as if he’s gotten so many other types of wins this year. When I read the box score and it says “F Liriano,” I agree.
Ben Revere – 2-for-5 with his 21st steal. With Young being traded, Revere should see everyday time. If you need steals, SAGNOF!
Dan Uggla – 1-for-4 as he started a one game hit streak. Adam Dunn, “Pfft! I’ve had like 12 of those this year!”
Jose Constanza – 3-for-3, I can’t say I truly understand the Constanza, but he has 5 steals in the last ten games, he’s starting every day and hitting.
Eric Thames – Now has 3 homers in 4 games. He’s decorating box scores better than Kelly on Design Star. What, my ex-girlfriend programmed it into my Tivo last year and I figured since it was recorded I’d watch it. Stop judging me.
Brett Lawrie – Hit his third home run in his 10th game. I feel like he’s trying to encroach on my Desmond Jennings rookie nookie love. Which is kinda hot. Fight for my love!
Adam Lind – Hit his 2nd homer in 3 games as he remembers why I have him on my freakin’ teams.
Mike Carp – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs with 2 homers. Love that he hit 2 homers; lurve that he hit them in Safeco.
Lucas Duda – 3-for-4 as he hit his second homer in as many games. You say hot schmotato, I say hot schmotahto.
Leo Nunez – 1 IP, 3 ER with his 5th blown save. He also took a grounder off his pitching hand, which could cause him to miss some time. On top of that, Mujica’s injured and Mike Dunn didn’t compliment Hanley on his wash bucket drum solo, so Steve Cishek could see some saves over the next few days.
Mike Stanton – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 27th homer. He’s on pace for 34 homers and 90 RBIs at the age of 21. Boing!
Ryan Doumit – 4-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 6th home run. Better yet, he’s healthy! Though that might not be true by the time you read this.
Jesus Montero – Jon Heyman suspects the Yankees won’t recall their prospect until September. Heyman was also who suspected Montero would be called up by now. I think I’d like to play Heyman in Clue.
Carlos Zambrano – Supposedly, Sammy Sosa texted Big Z some words of support. He told him to pretend he doesn’t speak English and say, “Baseball has been berry berry good to me.”
Ryan Braun - 2-for-4 with the slam & legs. Now has 23 homers and 23 steals. He’s like Lady Justice balancing his power and speed.
Andre Ethier – 0-for-3, hitting .297 with ten homers and zero steals on the year. Be fun to see where this schmohawk gets drafted next year. I’m guessing still higher than he deserves.
Brandon Allen – 3-for-4 and 6 for his last 10. Conor Jackson who?! The yawnstipating 1st baseman the A’s usually play. I know, Random Italicalized Voice, it’s a figure of speech. ‘Conor Jackson who’ is a figure of speech? Forget it.
Gio Gonzalez – 6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. I’ll keep this short and not that sweet. When he’s in O.co (seriously, dubya tee eff with that stadium name?) giving up four runs to the O’s, things are not okay. He can’t be started anywhere now.
Nelson Cruz – Hit his 26th homer then left with cramps. Has been almost 28 days since his last injury.
Cole Hamels – Underwent a “precautionary MRI.” The Phils are “optimistic” it’s “nothing” but Hamels still “may miss” his next start. The preceding was brought to you by Zagat.
And all the pitchers in the top 10, please allow Stephen Strasburg to bump thee. Let’s see what we can say about Strasburg that hasn’t been said before. Mikhail Gorbachev’s port wine birthmark on his head is actually Strasburg mid-windup. I don’t think that had been said before. Stephen’s cheering section, The House of Strasburg, better get out its Austrian officer uniforms because Herr Strasburg is goose stepping back into town. I think in most redraft leagues you’d be able to find a dozen waiver wire pitchers that can do what Strasburg can do for this year. What’s he gonna get? 4 starts at most? Brandon McCarthy could be as valuable as him in 4 starts. I’m just tempering you like Margaret from Boardwalk Empire. I wouldn’t expect more than 20 innings of a 3.00 ERA. Don’t go dropping anyone too valuable to roll with the Strasburger. In keeper leagues, drop your priceless Faberge egg and grab him. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Casey Kotchman – Which of these statements is false: 1) He’s hitting .337. 2) He had mononucleosis for two years because the Angels Rally Monkey used his toothbrush. 3) He considered legally changing his first name to I’mplaying1stbasey.
Mike Carp – Just went over my Mike Carp fantasy. I wrote it while wearing giant gold sunglasses like Pitbull.
J.D. Martinez – He went from a lukewarm buy to a must have in less than a week. He could revert back to a lukewarm buy by (stutterer!) next week.
Brandon McCarthy – Has a 3.31 ERA, 1.17 WHIP and a 74:16 K:BB rate. McCarthy’s taking on every team this year like they’re the Reds. Hopefully he keeps it up tonight vs. the Rangers and doesn’t leave his initials on the mound.
Dontrelle Willis – For a long time his career looked as promising as the person who told Jordan a Hitler mustache was the way to go. His ERA looks the best its looked in years, but better still is he’s keeping his BBs in check better than Ralphie.
Jake Peavy – He’s looked good the last four times out. If you had him for those starts, take a lap around your computer, cheering yourself. You deserve it.
Rafael Furcal – Nothing says fresh blood infused into your fantasy team’s veins like an oldie-timer.
Eric Young Jr. – I ran into Eric Young Sr. and Eric Young Jr. Jr. at a Carl’s Jr. the other day and they agreed that the only thing that’s stopping Eric Young Jr. from stealing 60 bases a year is playing time. Then they began to argue over the real star of the duo, Junior Senior.
Jose Altuve – Has hit in ten of his last twelve games while batting .330 since his call up and is owned in 1.5% of ESPN leagues. Jed Lowrie, who has one good week every year or so, is owned in 13.4% of ESPN leagues. Then again ESPN dedicates five hour programming blocks to the Sawx so I guess it makes sense.
Johnny Giavotella – Could have some speed, power and abbreviate his last name as GTL. I’ll cop to picking up Giavotella in one league. Hey, if you can’t beat ‘em or file a restraining order…
Yuniesky Betancourt – Hitting over .400 in the last week with a homer and a steal. Not a long term add but hot schmotatoes rarely are.
Jose Constanza – His name translates to Joe With Poem so here’s one in his honor. Constanza is playing over Jason Heyward/Leaving a hole in my outfield the size of a fjord/Now I’m blahtooning Eric Young and Peter Bourjos/What rhymes with that? Orange juice?
Jesus Montero – Will be called up shortly and hit 2 to 4 homers while collecting 9 to 13 RBIs; I can hardly wait!
Rafael Betancourt – He can be found in the definition of Cuddle Boy, but that shouldn’t stop you from handcuffing Huston Street who once pulled a hamstring from around a candied ham and strained his elbow.
Vinnie Pestano – If Chris Perez blows one more game in horrific fashion, Pestano will be the closer. If Perez blows two more games in less than horrific fashion, Pestano will take over. If Perez just shows up at the game wearing a mismatched outfit, he should be fine.
SELL
Vernon Wells – If you think Vernon Wells has another month and a half of productivity in his bat, then the Blue Jays GM Alex Snuffaluffagus has a bridge in Kansas to sell you.
Derrek Lee - Has a team ever traded for someone then put him on waivers within a few weeks? I don’t know, but Derrek Lee or Ryan Ludwick might be the first ones. Pirates spokesman, “Listen, we were never really in the running and now we’re really not in the running… Anyone wanna take these schmohawks off our hands? How about Ryan Doumit? How about Dyan Roumit? How about a catcher to be named later?” Sure, Lee is wily with grit, but put grit and wily into Google and you get “Did you mean John McCain?” and he can’t play baseball.
Carlos Lee - Sticking with the old Lee theme, if you have Chuck Lee, stop fighting the power and shut him down.
Jason Heyward – I wouldn’t drop him in keeper leagues or leagues 12 team or deeper. In those leagues, I’d walk into traffic wearing a burlap sack muttering about how Heyward betrayed you. But in shallow redraft leagues, it’s time to move on. What’s the best he can give you in a month-plus? 6 homers? Rick Ankiel called and said he’d give you that, but not to call him back and his number is unlisted.
