As many of you know, I went in a new direction to get inspiration for what player I will cover. I took a page out of Who Wants to be a Millionaire’s playbook and I asked the audience. That audience only has four choices though…you guys had over four hundred. Here are you results:
There isn’t much need for a drum roll though, unless none of you read the titles of these things. Ah yes, Michael Brantley, how your owners love you so. If you were lucky enough to draft him, probably after 200th overall, you’re getting a great bang for your buck. Brantley is a top ten outfielder right now, and arguably a top five one. On draft day, the tenth outfielder was going around twenty-fifth to thirtieth overall. And the player drafted probably had a name like Giancarlo Stanton, Yasiel Puig, or Jose Bautista. Just for kicks and giggles, let’s compare Brantley’s season to everyone’s favorite outfielder, Mike Trout:
Before I start, I want to try another experiment for this series. I feel as though I am biased in writing articles on players I choose. I probably go through five or ten players before I find the one I want to write up. So what I want you, my loving audience, to do, is give me player suggestions for the upcoming week. Just leave a comment below with a player or multiple players. I will try to pick one of the more popular responses. There are only four rules:
The player can’t be any I have done in the past (although I am breaking my own rule this week).
The player can’t be out for the rest of the season, because I know some of you would look for any loop hole and suggest Jarrod Parker, Avisail Garica, or any other Tommy John candidate.
I’ve been asked to take over for Dan Pants today. He must be on a bender or something. Or maybe he’s getting that vasectomy he’s been talking about. Anyways, it looks like there is a new rivalry in town. Tampa and Boston are quickly overthrowing the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry. Two fights in, two separate games in under two weeks. David Price hit David Ortiz in the first inning, and then Mike Carpa few innings later. Somehow Price wasn’t ejected, even though there were warnings issued after the first beaning. The Sox had four ejections: two managers, a coach, and Brandon Workman (who threw behind Evan Longoria after the first two HBPs). Still, the Sox managed to win 3-2 in 10 innings. If you own players on either team, be on the lookout for suspensions. Here’s what else happened throughout the league Friday evening:
Ah yes, David Price. I like to think of Price as a great pitcher who flies under the radar. He’s like the Spinal Tap of baseball. Feel free to call me out on this, I did five minutes of research/thinking in the shower for that simile. Sure, we all know his name, but how often does he come up when you compare him to his peers: Clayton Kershaw, Justin Verlander, Felix Hernandez, Adam Wainwright, and Stephen Strasburg? Price is looking to dominate in what looks like his last year with the Rays. If he plays well, I fully expect the Yankees to offer him a $400 million, 10-year contract.
The Upton brothers are starting their second year as teammates…and it hasn’t been a pretty sight so far: B.J. Upton became a giant train wreck and Justin Upton’s average and stolen bases fell out from under him. I’m dedicating this article to Justin. Maybe I’ll give Bossman Junior a look-see some other time. But don’t get your hopes up, he isn’t as interesting as his little bro.
I know it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve posted. Well I’m going to make it up to you. Anyone who finds my Facebook profile will get a personalized note mailed to them; I’ll even seal the envelope with a kiss! Hint: my first name is Jeremy.
On this week’s edition of bears and bulls: Doug Fister. Fister is probably better known for his PG-13 name than for his pitching. We’ve all seen team names like “Fister? I barely know her!” and “Fister in her Pujols”, but I’m not here to talk about unoriginal puns. But I am here to talk about the Nationals newest addition to their already dominant rotation.
Billy Butlerburned his fanboys last year, after a strong campaign in 2012. I know everyone around here lovingly (or maybe bitterly) calls him “Moobs”, but that probably hurts his feelings… I bet that’s why he started out so slow this year.
I am tweaking the categories a bit this time, because this methodology is still a work in progress. Here are some quick notes on my patent-pending Jer-o-matic (not geriatric…but similar) system:
For the injury risk category, a higher score means a player is less likely to miss time
For the production category, a score of 50% means repeating last year’s production
Scores about 50% are better than the previous year
Scores below 50% are worse than the previous year
A total score of 10 out of 20 is considered repeating last year’s performance
Scores about this are better than the previous year
Scores below this are worse than the previous year
Starling Martewas one of my favorite sleepers last year, Grey’s too. He looked really good during his 2012 rookie trial, hitting six triples and five homers in under fifty games, while also stealing twelve bags. The following year, Marte’s first full season, he basically tore it up. He posted an 83/12/35/.280/41 slash. Not too shabby. He is looking to repeat that success, much like Weekend At Bernie’s II improved on the clearly flawed original.
I’m going to run an experiment on how I write these articles, and if it works out, I’ll continue doing it throughout the season. I’m going to grade players in several areas, and give each area a score. Scoring 50% of the points in a category is my baseline for repeating the previous year’s performance. I will combine the scores at the end using a fancy algorithm (I call it, “addition”) to compute a final score. This score will be standardized out of 100%. Scores above 100% mean the player does better than the previous year, whereas scores below 100% mean the player regresses. Please give me your feedback, so I can make your experience on Razzball Airlines as pleasurable as possible. Shall we begin?
My last post was about a young ace, so I’m following it up with an article on an old vase, Jayson Werth. Just under two months shy of his 35th birthday, the bearded wonder is entering his 13th season in the bigs. I find it difficult to predict Werth, as his production doesn’t abide by the “normal rules” of aging. The pre-2009 Werth was deplorable when compared to the post-2009 version, or Werth 2.0, as I lovingly call him.
Jay has so kindly asked me to take over this series for him. He is passing on the metaphorical golden baton onto me. I’m going to coat this puppy in silver, because gold is tacky. To start things off, I decided talk about a guy who I think flies under the radar, Madison Bumgarner. First off, how awesome is his name!?! That’s reason enough to buy this guy. Who names their boy Madison anymore? Awesome parents, that’s who. If you’re actually curious about baby Madisons, click here. Don’t ask why I know about that website, all I know is that it’s super interesting…at least to me it is. Back to our topic now. On top of Madison, his last name is Bumgarner! He is literally collecting booty, c’mon. Oh look, a double entendre, I’ll clarify. He is married, so I think he is all set on that booty front. As for Pirate booty (Giants booty?), he is squared away too. He signed a 5 year, $35 million contract after his second full season, at age 22! YARGH, that’s a lot of booty!