I got to thinking and, as with most of my serious introspection, I thought about the old sitcom, Growing Pains. Twenty-five years ago, Mike Seaver stayed home from school and was surprised to see there were TV shows programmed. He didn’t understand it. If he’s usually at school, why are there TV shows? Did life go on without him? Yes, Mike Seaver dropped some existential philosophy. If the Growing Pains producers would have known that episode would have driven a hard-living, hooker-screwing machine into a hard-praying, Church-Head, I’m not sure if they ever would’ve did the episode. But the die was cast. So this may seem like it has no relevance to Roy Halladay and him missing 6 to 8 weeks with a lat muscle issue, au contraire, mon frere. If I tell you not to draft pitchers high and Roy Halladay is drafted high, then no one owns him. In that case, I’d grab him off waivers and stash him on my DL, because he’s not coming back until August. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jered Weaver – To the DL with a lower back injury. He says there’s no timetable for his return. We talk about him on the podcast today (where we have a very special guest), but neither Rudy or I are particularly excited about a pitcher with a back injury. In his place, the Angels brought up Garrett Richards. (So, now when Richards is in the clubhouse, he says, “Hey, what’s this?” And someone else says, “Don’t touch that.” But someone else says, “It’s okay, he’s with the team. That’s a Bobby Grich doll with the face painted green that we call Bobby Grinch.”) From what I can gather looking at Richards’s numbers (granted, they’re in the PCL), is I’m not going near him in most mixed leagues. Through 56 1/3 IP, Richards has a 7+ K-rate and 4+ walk rate. That 2nd number can’t be supported with a K-rate under 9, and last year he was pounded when he pitched for the Angels. From what I found by searching Garrett in the top left corner of this site, is I talked about Garrett Jones a lot more than I thought and we need a better search function. Also, I found a mention of Richards calling him a potential major league #4 starter. As Dracula would say, bleh. For the kids in the audience, Dracula is Team Edward.
Roy Oswalt – Signed with the Rangers. I just went over my Roy Oswalt 2012 fantasy. Here’s some of the important snippets from that post, “Never, Billy,” “American Black Beauty,” and “$400 overalls.” Hmm… I gotta work on the quote pulls. Oswalt should be up around the end of June and be a competent fantasy fourth starter. He’ll either be well-rested or well-rusted and my projections for him will be bested or busted. Hopefully, the U’s don’t have it.
Jason Marquis – Signed with the Padres to push the theory that every starter is worth starting in Petco to its limits. Theory That Every Starter Is Worth Starting In Petco, “I’m a bit stressed by this new added pressure.” See?
Everth Cabrera – 2-for-4 with his 3rd steal, that’s three steals in the last five games. There’s nothing to see with his average, nothing to see with his power, nothing to see with his name if you have difficulty pronouncing your th’s, but he’s stealing bases. SAGNOF!
Carlos Quentin – He’s doing his best to bail out the Padres for being sans Quentin all year. 3-for-4 with a HR and a double. He’s an AVG drain but – much like a second laptop battery – he’s worth picking up when on road trips and you’re in need of extra power.
Hideki Matsui – Homered yesterday. Quentin, then Matsui, all we need to talk about next is Alfonso Soriano and it’ll be like we’ve traveled back in time. Peach Fuzz Grey, “Can I draft Ryan Klesko in the first round?” Mother Grey, “Whatever my soon-to-be-mustachioed man wants he gets!” I’ll never forget that conversation. It happened at my bris.
Alfonso Soriano – Hit his 7th homer, and, like, his sixth one in the last 3 games. He’s about as limber as Methuselah, and the Ghost of his Former Self gets scared when it looks at him, but I’d still own him while he’s hot.
James Russell – He got the save! And Sveum showed so much confidence in him he didn’t even start the ninth. There’s Brain Freezes, Mo’nique’s hairy pits from Precious, Heath Bell then Russell, but I’d still own him.
Jhonny Peralta – 2-for-4 with his 2nd homer in as many games. The H is silent, but deadly.
Ryan Raburn – The man with the matinee idol name was demoted to Triple-A. Don’t worry, he’s a 2nd half hitter. 2nd half of 2010. Ooh, Rabuuuuuuurn.
Justin Masterson – He gives (6 IP, 8 K, 0 BB) and he takes away (7 ER, 9 H). He’s such a person that uh…gives something and then they’re dissatisfied and they wish they had had never, uh…given it to the person that they originally gave it to…. He’s such a, you know…
Daniel Bard – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. He’s averaging under 6 innings per start. So… When they gonna stretch him out to be a starter?
Dustin Pedroia – Has a torn abductor muscle. Abductor muscle? What’s he a mollusk? Pedroia plans on playing through the torn muscle. Geez, I never heard of an overeager mollusk. Doctors are saying if he can’t play through it, he’ll be on the DL for a month. This doesn’t sound good to me at all. I’d quickly evaluate what I could get in a trade for him.
Mark Trumbo – 2-for-4 with a slam & legs. Scioscia will probably be lauded for turning this team around from its early season struggles, but, in reality, it just took him 2 months to figure out what most people could’ve told him in March. Call up Trout and play Trumbo.
Homer Bailey – 9 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks to lower his ERA to 3.73. Now has 4 solid starts in a row. So far his K-rate is down from last year and his walk rate is up. He’s looking like one of those pitchers you trot out there every start in an NL-Only league and are pleasantly surprised by, but have a hard time owning in most mixed leagues.
Nate Eovaldi – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks. Solid start for the 22-year-old. In Double-A, he had a nice K-rate (7+) and an iffy-at-times walk rate (3+). Definitely worth a looksie in NL-Only leagues, but he’s a bit risky right now for mixed leagues. Although, Tommy Lasorda has always been a fan, but that was more because Nate’s last name sounds like olive oil.
Michael Fiers – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks. Short term, I like Fiers a bit more than Eovaldi. In Triple-A, he had an 8+ K-rate and an under 3 walk rate. He’s nothing special for keepers because of his age (26), but he could surprise in NL-Only leagues.
Mike Moustakas – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 8th homer. It’s Greek Lightning! Moose Tacos is a hard man to pin down as what to expect this year. I mean, there’s my preseason projections of 60/20/80/.270/4 that still look totally accurate, but where’s the mystery in that?
Will Smith – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. It’s summertime and he’s gettin’ jiggy wit it, prospect scouts just don’t understand.
Adam Jones – Two more HRs (now at 16) on a 3’s wild night (3-for-3 with 3 runs and 3 RBIs). He’s makin’ it rain.
Chris Davis – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer. For the amount of times people have commented about dropping him, you’d think he was hitting .220. He’s hitting .315. I know he’s burned you in the past. He apologizes. He said he didn’t mean to hurt you and bought you a Hallmark card. C’mon, the card’s got kittens!
Alexei Ramirez – 2-for-4 with 2 RBIs and a SB (his 3rd in 5 games). Now at .222, the Cuban Missile is slowly resolving his irrelevancy crisis. But only one HR — can’t Viciedo be a good comrade and share?
Kris Medlen – Braves are sending Medlen down to stretch him out. Warm it up, Kris. He’s about to. I love me some Medlen. We practically grew up together. Or maybe it was just that I owned him in a few fantasy leagues for a few months a few years ago. Either way, why do I love every young Braves starter? Can’t they trade for a stereotypical Twins no Ks/good control starter? I’m sure Scott Diamond is available. Last time, Medlen started games for the Braves, he had a near-7 K-rate, an under 2 walk rate with a 3.49 ERA as a flat-billed pitchypus. In NL-Only leagues, I’d grab him right now. In most mixed leagues, I’d wait a couple of weeks until he’s due to return.
Freddie Freeman – Will be out until he gets prescription goggles. Braves are hopeful the goggles will fix his vision problems or at least help him with his sky hook.
Michael Bourn – Hit his 5th homer. Wait, did MLB adopt that rule change I proposed where everyone under 170 pounds gets to use an aluminum bat? Cause I looked on the Google machine and saw nothing.
David Freese – Could be out until Friday with a hand sprain. Uh-oh, just when I thought the Western novel, “Calamities of David Freese,” was out of print.
Yadier Molina – 4-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer. Okay, we’re far enough into the season for me to admit that Molina’s been way more valuable than I thought he would be. But be honest with yourself now, 8 homers before June is more than anyone would’ve expected. BTW, if I were him, I’d sign my checks like Dennis Miller signing off on the Weekend Update, “I…Am…Yadier!”
Jarrod Parker – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks and the no decision. Actually, there was a decision. The decision was made a few weeks ago and was regarding Fuentes becoming the closer. Cook just had a 23 1/3 IP scoreless streak come to an end, and Balfour has given up three runs since May 8th or the same amount Fuentes gave up last night. I don’t think Fuentes is out as closer, but the retractable leash’s button is pressed, now all the A’s have to do is pull him in. Cook’s been better, but I’d go with Balfour first as the handcuff since he’s already had the job.
Coco Crisp – 2-for-2 with a steal yesterday and 2 steals on Sunday. He’s been terrible (batting .173), but Coco Crisp could get hot like Melky and make the *pinkie to mouth* poor rich.
Ryan Vogelsong – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks. Over a year of productive pitching. Now has his ERA down to 2.36, and people still won’t own him.
Hanley Ramirez – Han-Ram with the slam (#8) and legs (#10) against the Nats. The AVG isn’t there yet (.265) but it seems like he’s on his way to a top 10 Fantasy Baseball Player Rater finish by the end of the year.
Chad Tracy – Out for the year with groin surgery. Hopefully the doctors don’t get confused when he puts his last name first on his hospital forms and give him an unwanted nip/tuck.